FC Community
Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: Sohcahtoa on January 17, 2010, 08:33:59 am
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Help us men help you!
If you ask your man "Does this dress make me look fat?" and he says "Yes," DON'T get mad at him! Instead, THANK HIM for not letting you go out in a dress that makes you look fat! "That dress makes you look fat" does *NOT* mean "You look fat."
If a man tells you he likes dress A more than dress B, that doesn't mean he hates dress B. He might like both of them, but just likes A more. Asking the question "Why don't you like dress B?" isn't going to be productive.
We men tend to have only 2-4 pairs of shoes. What makes you think we're going to be qualified to tell you which pair of shoes matches your dress the best out of your collection of 50 pairs?
Before getting your hair cut a certain way, ask us before doing it! And I don't mean asking permission, I mean asking our opinion of that style. If we say we don't like it, don't get mad.
In general, if you want our opinion, don't expect us to lie to you. If we don't like an outfit, a certain perfume scent, or a hairstyle, wouldn't you rather get what your man actually LIKES than to have him lie to you and tell you he likes it, and then for the rest of time, he's resenting that outfit/perfume/hairstyle?
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Lol judging from what you posted I'd say you've dealt with someone who wants you to lie to them...so lie to them.
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i don't have to ask, he usually takes it upon himself to
tell me i look beautiful no matter what i'm wearing :thumbsup:
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i don't have to ask, he usually takes it upon himself to
tell me i look beautiful no matter what i'm wearing :thumbsup:
Oh I love that! My husband does that all the time too. I call him a liar but it still feels good to hear. Lol maybe the OP should try that instead.
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my husband is so BAD at complimenting me :( but i've gotten used to it. I tend to know what he likes and I do value his opinion -- when I ask for it :)
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Yes, that is all good. Yet you have to be very careful with this because some men will try then to get you to get permission. This is not want you want!
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It's even worse when they get mad at you if they find out you lied. Seriously, there is no way you can win in that situation. It's like they're asking you because they WANT to get mad at you.
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In general, it's hard to be honest without hurting a woman's feeling. The best a man can do is be genuin and kind about it. Saying a woman looks fat in a dress can be eloquently put in many ways. Men, you know how to sugar coat things when you want to get with a woman: you can think of kind ways to tell her not to wear the dress.
As for the cutting hair issue. Well, I say if you want your hair cut a certain way, you need to go to the barber. Quit trying to get your free hair cut at home and ask for a profession job. Plus, it's not customer service if its free. Everyone have a certain specialty, they cut the best hair cut they know how. Your job is to find the person that CAN cut your hair the way you want.
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I don't have to deal with any of this cause I told my husband straight up....If something doesn't make me look good or if I look really good in something but want to wear something else TELL ME so I don't end up looking a fool. He tells me if my make up looks weird or anything of that sort and I'm totally proud of that fact that I can take it and he can tell me without me getting mad. If he doesn't tell me before I leave the house....who will? He always tell me how beautiful I am but I need to know if I have makeup running down my face.
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Lol judging from what you posted I'd say you've dealt with someone who wants you to lie to them...so lie to them.
Why should I lie to them? Why would I want to let my girlfriend to wear an outfit I don't like, a perfume I think stinks, etc? I mean, if she likes it enough to do it anyway because SHE really likes it, that's fine. However, I certainly wouldn't want her to always wear that perfume because she thinks I like it.
i don't have to ask, he usually takes it upon himself to
tell me i look beautiful no matter what i'm wearing :thumbsup:
Either he's lying to you, or you already have a good sense of what looks good on you.
It's even worse when they get mad at you if they find out you lied. Seriously, there is no way you can win in that situation.
EXACTLY. By lying and saying we like something that we don't, it only sets you up for a bad situation when the truth comes out later. "I thought you LIKED that dress! :'("
In general, it's hard to be honest without hurting a woman's feeling. The best a man can do is be genuin and kind about it. Saying a woman looks fat in a dress can be eloquently put in many ways. Men, you know how to sugar coat things when you want to get with a woman: you can think of kind ways to tell her not to wear the dress.
As for the cutting hair issue. Well, I say if you want your hair cut a certain way, you need to go to the barber. Quit trying to get your free hair cut at home and ask for a profession job. Plus, it's not customer service if its free. Everyone have a certain specialty, they cut the best hair cut they know how. Your job is to find the person that CAN cut your hair the way you want.
I should have mentioned sugarcoating in my first post. I certainly wouldn't tell a woman "That dress makes you look fat." I'd be more likely to say something like "That dress doesn't show off your curves as well as that other one."
Also, I would NEVER get my hair styled at home. However, I do cut it myself because all I ever do is a simple buzz cut. That's easy enough to do yourself. My issue with the hair actually happened with my dad though. My mom would always get her hair permed a certain way, and the rest of the family thought it looked terrible. She looked like a poodle. Yet, we kept telling her it looked good to not hurt her feelings. But eventually, the truth came out, and it hurt even worse.
I don't have to deal with any of this cause I told my husband straight up....If something doesn't make me look good or if I look really good in something but want to wear something else TELL ME so I don't end up looking a fool. He tells me if my make up looks weird or anything of that sort and I'm totally proud of that fact that I can take it and he can tell me without me getting mad. If he doesn't tell me before I leave the house....who will? He always tell me how beautiful I am but I need to know if I have makeup running down my face.
EXACTLY! Thank you!
Have any of you ever been out somewhere, and you see a woman with an absolutely HIDEOUS outfit, or just a terribly done makeup job, or a hairstyle that makes you go "WTF?" ? If so, odds are, there's a boyfriend behind that woman telling her she looks good. Now, there's certainly the possibility that they just have different tastes, but you should really stop to consider the possibility that he's lying to her and telling her that he likes that style.
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i don't have to ask, he usually takes it upon himself to
tell me i look beautiful no matter what i'm wearing :thumbsup:
Either he's lying to you, or you already have a good sense of what looks good on you.
Why would he be lying to her? I change my previous answer, I think it's you who just doesn't know what to say to women. Did you not notice how rude what you said to her was? When we ask your opinion, we don't really want it (Especially yours). We want to hear what we want to hear. Most of us are just going to form our own opinion anyway (Yes, we can do that now. Surprise!). You don't have to be brutally honest (or an *bleep*) to get your opinion across. Lol maybe the women you go our are just fat and ugly? I doubt that they are, but I might as well put that out there. And also, please don't forget that what may looks good to you, may look good to others.
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could be the fabric of the dress or the color that makes u look fat when ur not. try another dress.. possibly ur trusted little black dress coz it makes neone look slimmer
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I personally would much rather be told nice things then mean,however be your own judge i have found that to be the most honest answer and thank him sweetly nonetheless he could tell you something bad.Todays woman needs to know her own self.
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As well as saying certain things to your man, men don't always think we are nagging if we mention something, and if we say it twice, it is not nagging, you did not do it the first time. HELLO!!!
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HAHA! I do not have this problem. I do not think I look good in the majority of my clothes so i dont bother to ask. I also own maybe 2 or 3 pairs of shoes. I dont care too much for makeup or perfume and I very rarely get my hair cut into certain styles.
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:D I remember those days when I used to take 1 hr and a half to get my make-up ad my hair done :icon_rr: . Then I had to decide what to wear...LOL
Now my eyeliner can be running down and my husband can't even tell if it goes on my cheeks or on my eyes :o LOL. Some men just don't know , :dontknow: don't have that touch so why ask. Whatever, however you feel comfortable with will be good. The best thing to do is ask another woman.
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Eh. Everytime I see posts like this it always reminds me of how different men and women are and I laugh. Sometimes women ask things they shouldn't because they KNOW the answer may not be what they want to hear. But just to let you know, you don't have to be mean to get your point across. Honesty is best but some men just say the wrong things when they could easily say something that's basically the same but just not as rude/mean.
Woman: Honey, these pants make my thighs look HUGE!
Man: Well hun it does seem to hug your thighs but your thighs are sexy so who cares?
^ Pretty decent example of how a convo could go without the woman freaking out. lol
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Woman: Honey, these pants make my thighs look HUGE!
Man: Well hun it does seem to hug your thighs but your thighs are sexy so who cares?
^ Pretty decent example of how a convo could go without the woman freaking out. lol
My woman would still freak out. She has self-esteem and self-consciousness issues that drive me batty. No matter how much I tell her how sexy I think she is, she always stays negative.
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Well, maybe the MAN needs to LEARN HOW to answer a question ... example - if the woman wants to know what dress looks better A or B ... the Man should answer intelligently and SWEETY and say " HONEY, both dresses look GOOOOOD but I want you to wear "A" today because I haven't seen you wear that in awhile ... "
and so on ... Men should LEARN that you can get more SWEETS (from a woman) with HONEY than SALT ! ... LOL !
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i don't have to ask, he usually takes it upon himself to
tell me i look beautiful no matter what i'm wearing :thumbsup:
Either he's lying to you, or you already have a good sense of what looks good on you.
Why would he be lying to her? I change my previous answer, I think it's you who just doesn't know what to say to women. Did you not notice how rude what you said to her was? When we ask your opinion, we don't really want it (Especially yours). We want to hear what we want to hear. Most of us are just going to form our own opinion anyway (Yes, we can do that now. Surprise!). You don't have to be brutally honest (or an *bleep*) to get your opinion across. Lol maybe the women you go our are just fat and ugly? I doubt that they are, but I might as well put that out there. And also, please don't forget that what may looks good to you, may look good to others.
thanks for sticking up for me, GoGoKokiGo!
and Sohchtoa, you're right about one thing.
i do have my own sense of style and i'm confident enough
in what i wear to not have to ask his opinion (which is why
i said i don't have to ask him, he just takes it upon himself to
tell me i'm beautiful because most of the time, he doesn't
even notice the clothes) ... and the clothing isn't what draws
him to me. it doesn't warrant his approval.
perhaps i'm getting off track here. i understand what you
meant by that comment, but the fact of the matter is, the
type of guy i'm with is very genuine. he looks into my eyes,
not my closet, to tell me i'm beautiful. and he means it.
(i do have one pair of bright magenta pants that he can't stand,
if that makes you feel any better :P)
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I would say something like "I wasn't going to say anything but..." :P
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I think it really depends on the woman...
Women that are very self-conscious of how they look need to be treated with a lot of care; even trying to sugar-coat the words may not be enough. You may say that the pants hug her sexy legs, and she'll just hear that you think she has fat thighs.
Other women are more confident in their appearance and can accept a more genuine opinion. It doesn't mean that the guy has to be brutally honest, but he can at least say he doesn't like something without fear of the woman bursting out in tears saying you called her fat and ugly.
There are also some women that like to tease. They know guys have a tough time answering those questions and so will specifically corner them into saying something that could be misunderstood. You'll know cuz either they have a slight smile or a twinkle in their eyes, in which case whatever answer the guy gives, she'll first be all offended, but then break down in giggles when the guys stammers an apology.
Finally there are women that like to get angry. They tend to be very passionate and will use the passion of their anger to engender the passion of love. They tend to be the ones that like "angry sex" or like to break-up with a guy only to hook back up with him at a later date.
Hopefully you'll have gone out with a women long enough to determine how she'll react, and can suit your response appropriately.
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I feel that people who ask this question to have you lie to them usually is fishing for compliments. Hate those kind of people!
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We all need to be complimented every now and then and if she is fishing you have not done it lately,if she goes through the trouble for you,least you could do is acknowledge it.
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Dude, you're just going about this wrong.
When a girl asks if she looks fat, just tell her she looks hot. ALWAYS answer this. If she says that's not what she asked, just say she obviously doesn't look fat as you don't like fat girls(it helps if your girlfriend is actually hot, if you're dating chubby/fat women, disregard my entire post).
Always answer this as well.
She'll stop asking.
If she asks you about a top or shoes, tell her you're not gay, so you can't help.
If she presses tell her she should wear something sluttier. No matter what she's wearing or where you're going.
She'll stop asking :)
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LOL! My husband tells me the same thing, basically he says if you don't want an honset answer don't ask me because I am one of the only people you can trust not to lie to you! It is annoying when everything you like, your man hates but hey as they say Honesty is the best policy!
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haha.. nice that's true
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I love my husband so much, when he bought me one of the first presents ever, he HONESTLY didn't know what size to get, he was so embrarased when he realized it was way too big. It was beautiful and honest, and I thank him for that!
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My husband is so brutally honest, that I don't ever have to worry about it. He dose tend to tick me off some times, but I would much rather hear it, than to go out and look terrible.
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Not gonna happen man just do this: :BangHead:
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I think you just have to know when its ok. Sometimes you can lie/be nice and say something is good when its not, sometimes you can be honest. You just have to know when its a good time. Just sticking to one doesn't seem like a good idea :P
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8) Listen to what he is trying to tell you. Men are usually pretty honest...do not be offended by what he is trying to tell you...take into consideration his opinions!
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That is very true. HAPPENS EVERYTIME...
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I prefer honesty. I don't ask a question without wanting the answer. I am a firm believer in telling it like it is. And that's why I don't have many "girl" friends. ?????
Oh well, never lost any sleep over that.
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no offense to anyone, but i think a woman should know what does and does not look good on her so that there is no need to ask a man's opinion. and if she insists on asking, it is probably because she's digging for a compliment... and should not be surprised if she gets a lie! :)