FC Community
Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: tantricia44 on February 09, 2011, 07:23:54 pm
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I was walking out of the local Wmart when I saw a mother carting out 6 kids. 3 in the basket 3 on foot & i don't know why but I automatically became angry. My husband(who has passed)& I had decided along time ago tht we wanted 2 save the world & not have kids. LoL. When he was alive, we saw the same thing, a single mother towing a bunch of kids behind her. I wondered out loud, didn't she hear about birth control? How can she afford 2 have so many kids? It looked like she had the kids 1 after another. My husband gave me sad grin & said Honey, you & I & the rest of America is paying 4 those kids. Then I find out that 4 each kid the mother gets governt assistance. Maybe, I got angry because I miss my husband & it was flashback reminder of my loss but I don't understand why we have 2 pay 4 other peoples actions/mistakes. There is no excuse not 2 use birthcontrol b/c birthcontrol is available free in any clinic in the state of FL. Governt assistance only encourages single mothers 2 use the system getting knocked up 1 after an other. I don't see the fathers being held accountable. I don't mean 2 sound cruel but I think the governt shd change the rules dealing w/this issue. Why not change the rules, all males will be taxed extra just in case some girl gets pregnant out of wedlock; Tax unwed mothers; if the single mother gets pregnant again after the first child she will lose governt assistance or get fixed. Only if the woman is raped should she be excused frm the requirements. I know it sounds mean, heartless even but I decided not 2 have kids. It's not right that I have to pay for some 1 else kids. I was wondering what members in FC think about this issue. Is this also happening in your state? Is this issue,the same in your state? If you were given the power 2 solve this issue what would do? I don't mean 2 offend anybody but I was just venting & this rare emotion just burst out of me.
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I was walking out of the local Wmart when I saw a mother carting out 6 kids. 3 in the basket 3 on foot & i don't know why but I automatically became angry. My husband(who has passed)& I had decided along time ago tht we wanted 2 save the world & not have kids. LoL. When he was alive, we saw the same thing, a single mother towing a bunch of kids behind her. I wondered out loud, didn't she hear about birth control? How can she afford 2 have so many kids? It looked like she had the kids 1 after another. My husband gave me sad grin & said Honey, you & I & the rest of America is paying 4 those kids. Then I find out that 4 each kid the mother gets governt assistance. Maybe, I got angry because I miss my husband & it was flashback reminder of my loss but I don't understand why we have 2 pay 4 other peoples actions/mistakes. There is no excuse not 2 use birthcontrol b/c birthcontrol is available free in any clinic in the state of FL. Governt assistance only encourages single mothers 2 use the system getting knocked up 1 after an other. I don't see the fathers being held accountable. I don't mean 2 sound cruel but I think the governt shd change the rules dealing w/this issue. Why not change the rules, all males will be taxed extra just in case some girl gets pregnant out of wedlock; Tax unwed mothers; if the single mother gets pregnant again after the first child she will lose governt assistance or get fixed. Only if the woman is raped should she be excused frm the requirements. I know it sounds mean, heartless even but I decided not 2 have kids. It's not right that I have to pay for some 1 else kids. I was wondering what members in FC think about this issue. Is this also happening in your state? Is this issue,the same in your state? If you were given the power 2 solve this issue what would do? I don't mean 2 offend anybody but I was just venting & this rare emotion just burst out of me.
I'm a child of 6, but were separated in age.
Oldest- 25 and married
Youngest- 7 and in 2nd grade.
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You're judging and making a lot of assumptions. Why are you angry just at seeing a mother with her kids? How do you know they were even her kids? How do know that woman with the 6 kids is on public assistance? Rich people shop at Walmart too. How do you know she was single? Maybe her husband was sick in bed or something. Do you think just because you chose not to have kids that you are better than other people who chose to have more than one?
Yeah I hate that I'm helping support lazy welfare queens but I don't assume every woman shopping by themselves with more than one kid is on welfare. I also don't think welfare should be a permanent thing. People fall on hard times and a safety net should help them out but there should be a limit.
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Dreamyxo,
You took the words right off of my keyboard! Between my daughter & her husband they have 6 kids. She was working, he was off work due to an injury. The had to go on partial public assistance, her pay just wasn't enough. Even with both of them working they still qualify for (some) food stamps. They both had married previously, like everyone else, thinking it was going to be forever. They have a wonderful marriage - the kids are all happy & well taken care of, but .... lets just let them go hungry because their parents both made mistakes when they were young by choosing the wrong partner. The kids have no idea how poor they really are - $$ wise anyhow, but very rich with love.
Tantrica,
people with your attitude really bother me - YOU decided you were going to save the world by not having kids? That was your choice. There will always be people who fall on hard times. I do agree that after a couple of kids with no father in sight (as far as $$ support goes) maybe the government should step in & say no more hand outs for you - You will have to have a tubal - then on the other hand the government is in our personal business too much as it is.
Personally, I had to retire early due to a movement disorder. Medicare & living in subsidized housing is no fun! Doing without medical care because I can't afford to pay what Medicare won't cover. I am supposed to have Botox injections in my neck muscles @ 3 months to keep down the pain & the muscles from spasming - can't afford the nearly $400.00 each time. Suffering from a toothache because I can't afford a dentist - trade places with me babe. Don't mean to be offensive, but people with your high & mighy attitude really offend me!
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Oh & BTW, how do you know the woman was single? Divorce? Prison? Death? People are too quick to judge when they don't know the facts. Mom & dad had 6 kids, he became abusive. After the divorce, she worked nights, kept the house spotless (yes we kids had to help) Cooked a big dinner, put out a garden, canned food like a mad woman & ironed in her spare time for others at $5.00 for a bushel basket full. She literally worked herself to death. Dad paid his child support, we babysat each other, if we older ones made any money, at least half of it was given to mom, out of respect, not because we had to. Still, we had to accept some assistance from the government much to the embarassment of all of us. This subject is so debatable, I am anxious to see others' replies.
Just an added FYI - sometimes people have a load of kids with them because they are babysitting for a couple of families, TO MAKE MONEY SO THEY CAN STAY OFF THE SYSTEM.
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I do not like when people judge someone's life. Why do we always have to put someone down, to make our life better.
Stop looking down on people. Instead of putting people down, try helping people out. You just might like it. :heart: ;D
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Wow you got all that from somebody walking out of a walmart! Talk about jumping to conclusions, maybe she owns a daycare? Maybe she is watching some kids for a friend? Maybe she loves kids and can afford them!
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I was walking out of the local Wmart when I saw a mother carting out 6 kids. 3 in the basket 3 on foot & i don't know why but I automatically became angry. My husband(who has passed)& I had decided along time ago tht we wanted 2 save the world & not have kids. LoL. When he was alive, we saw the same thing, a single mother towing a bunch of kids behind her. I wondered out loud, didn't she hear about birth control? How can she afford 2 have so many kids? It looked like she had the kids 1 after another. My husband gave me sad grin & said Honey, you & I & the rest of America is paying 4 those kids. Then I find out that 4 each kid the mother gets governt assistance. Maybe, I got angry because I miss my husband & it was flashback reminder of my loss but I don't understand why we have 2 pay 4 other peoples actions/mistakes. There is no excuse not 2 use birthcontrol b/c birthcontrol is available free in any clinic in the state of FL. Governt assistance only encourages single mothers 2 use the system getting knocked up 1 after an other. I don't see the fathers being held accountable. I don't mean 2 sound cruel but I think the governt shd change the rules dealing w/this issue. Why not change the rules, all males will be taxed extra just in case some girl gets pregnant out of wedlock; Tax unwed mothers; if the single mother gets pregnant again after the first child she will lose governt assistance or get fixed. Only if the woman is raped should she be excused frm the requirements. I know it sounds mean, heartless even but I decided not 2 have kids. It's not right that I have to pay for some 1 else kids. I was wondering what members in FC think about this issue. Is this also happening in your state? Is this issue,the same in your state? If you were given the power 2 solve this issue what would do? I don't mean 2 offend anybody but I was just venting & this rare emotion just burst out of me.
How do you know all the kids were hers? She could have been babysitting her nieces and nephews. Not to be rude but if you feel so strongly about it maybe you should move to China. This is a free country and women can opt to have children or not. The way you put it, the U.S. would have to become communist instead of being a democracy. Enjoy your freedoms while you can.
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What you just said was very presumptuous. Did you know this person personally? You just see a woman with six kids that are all close in age and assume she is a bad person. She could have been a foster parent or maybe she is a single mom and works very hard to support her family. Maybe she is a widow also. There are so many possibilities and you just assumed the worst of that person. Don't count your chickens before they are hatched.
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I don't know about other states, but this state doesn't really do much to help with assistance. I will say that it isn't like the mother isn't working. This state requires the parent to work or be looking for work or going to school. All of which have strict conditions. What you should be getting angry with, is the government paying employers to hire wellfare recipients, or paying for day care all of which cost more than the parent staying home and taking care of their own kid. Which in my opinion would make for a happier child. that could possibly end up with a happier adult that manages to stay off drugs and out of prison. In this economy, people need the assistance, do to unemployment.
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I admit that I am quick to assume too. I have met women that used the system and lived in better houses and had better income than I have ever had just for having kids. It shouldn't be praised or encouraged for women to get pregnant. If they want kids and have a stable job/stable relationship with someone who does by all means have children but it is irresponsible to have children when you cannot support yourself. A sister of an old friend lived in a two story home with 3 bedrooms on her own with no job and two kids. They had very nice furniture and appliances and the works. Money came rolling in every month to pay her bills. At the time I was living in a quad with a bunch of roommates I hated working full time trying to make ends meet.
Don't get me wrong I believe that support should be offered to single parents with children in a bad place but it shouldn't come in the form of currency because currency can be used for everything from groceries to new shoes. All the assistance should be in the form of items of use. Provide them free food from food banks, free housing in a community home for single parents, free daycare (other single parents watch your children from time to time), free donated clothing, etc.. Eventually a person would want out of the situation because their life is not full of luxuries. They don't have money to buy snacks, new shoes, pop, or anything none essential. Providing daycare would allow them to look for work or go to school to better their lives. No money got alcohol or drugs. This is my solution.
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I admit that I am quick to assume too. I have met women that used the system and lived in better houses and had better income than I have ever had just for having kids. It shouldn't be praised or encouraged for women to get pregnant. If they want kids and have a stable job/stable relationship with someone who does by all means have children but it is irresponsible to have children when you cannot support yourself. A sister of an old friend lived in a two story home with 3 bedrooms on her own with no job and two kids. They had very nice furniture and appliances and the works. Money came rolling in every month to pay her bills. At the time I was living in a quad with a bunch of roommates I hated working full time trying to make ends meet.
Don't get me wrong I believe that support should be offered to single parents with children in a bad place but it shouldn't come in the form of currency because currency can be used for everything from groceries to new shoes. All the assistance should be in the form of items of use. Provide them free food from food banks, free housing in a community home for single parents, free daycare (other single parents watch your children from time to time), free donated clothing, etc.. Eventually a person would want out of the situation because their life is not full of luxuries. They don't have money to buy snacks, new shoes, pop, or anything none essential. Providing daycare would allow them to look for work or go to school to better their lives. No money got alcohol or drugs. This is my solution.
Food banks, allow for a couple uses a few times a year. They don't give enough food for a week for a small family. If you are getting assistance from the state you get food stamps(free food) the money that you get isn't enough to cover all the bills and rent every month. The medical won't usually cover everything, as with many insurances and to make things worse, the case worker is the one that decides if something you need will get paid by them. She isn't a medical professional. The food stamps, and the money is determined by how much you pay in rent and utilities and how many to feed and the ages. If your oldest child is sixteen they are also supposed to be going to school and working and by the way if he misses school that isn't deemed as excused the family risks loosing the assistance for that month. Now the child is working and the parent is working the income goes up so the assistance from the state goes down. What you also might be interested in knowing. Not all poor people are on some sort of assistance. If you adopt a child through the federal gov. that child recieves medical insurance, that will cover the cost of diapers (huggies) but that child gets that until he is 18 as opposed to a state adoption that doesn't. Now if you have enough money to adopt?????????
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Instead of deciding not to have any kids of your own, you should have adopted. That would have been a much bigger and better contribution to society.
I also wonder how you made the assumption that a woman is a single mother if she has a bunch of kids in tow and is leaving Walmart. As has been said, she may be a daycare mother. She may have foster children. She and her husband may have enough money to live in a nice house and have all of these kids. Or, she may be on welfare. I believe in welfare as a temporary help. If a single mother has one child after another with different fathers, she should not be eligible for welfare. The fathers should also be held responsible.
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I do not know what to say, I agree that do not look down people and I do not think there is woman who want so many kids. I have only one for now, it already make me tired and boring and no patient.
I hope those woman who should know how to do B/C. but some of them don't know, they just enjoy that time and then....so kids come and come
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I am the youngest of 6. And my mom(god rest her soul) worked her tail off to make sure that we had a roof over our head and food in our bellies. My father got another woman pregnant,all as my mom was carring me.So I have a half sister that is 7 months younger than I. To assume that the woman on her own with those children is on Welfare or that somehow she has impacted her life onto you is just, well shall I say, STUPIDITY. My mother never recieved assistance from anyone, she would have been eligible, but she chose to work to support her own children and depend on noone else to do so.
While my father and his new family lived a quite comfortable life. Please do not judge others that you see, for some day it may be you or someone that you love being judged. The next time you see that woman and her 6 kids, just think that those children maybe have a broken heart, from a parent passing or just not caring enough to stick around.
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I agree that you are judging and making a lot of assumptions. Just because you see a woman w/ a large amount of kid you think the worst. She could be baby-sitting, they might be foster children, who really knows. Just because you chose to not have children doesn't give you the right judge those of us who do have kids. I decided to only have two myself, but that was my choice, not yours.
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I must have missed something in the first post (and I am not trying to be mean), but how did your husband, who you said had passed away, turn and wink at you?
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Correction to my comment: I went back and re-read the post. It was a "sad grin" - not a "wink."
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sometimes i see people in situations and walking around with children they really dont look like they should have had. some people have a lot of kids so they can claim them as dependants on their income tax. I am a young (21 year old) white female with two kids that are only 15 months apart. I am still dating their dad, but we arent married. I have every kind of child assistance possible and i have free health insurance with both of them. In my case i didnt grow up with the greatest of parents. I guess i never really had a family or anyone who took the time to care about me. that is until my man/baby addy came along. He had the same feelings about his family. All we both ever wanted was a family of our own, we wanted to have and be apart of a family, so we created our own. We dont have that much money and usually one of us is unemployeed, but we love our kids and give them all the love and support we can.
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In reference to the above post. I do not, nor guess I ever will understand how people can 'want a family', yet won't make the marriage commitment if the father is in your lives. I am not putting you down & believe me I remember wanting a child just to have someone to love & love me back - unconditionally. I made the same what I feel are mistakes that you are making. I had a daughter out of wedlock. She has paid for it all of her life - he was never involved in her life. When your child aches, so do you. Of course he married, & they had a daughter. His wife was in total denial that he & I had a child. When he was on his death bed - my daughter then 37) went to see him on the request of her half sister. He was delerious, but when 'their' daughter told him my daughter was there, he was 'with it ' enough to look at her & say "sorry sorry". Then went back into sad situation of having no idea who he or anyone else was. Such a sad situation, but I think it helped my daughter to hear the apology. My daughter said she was so glad we never married since he became an alcoholic & her life would have been miserable. I was young & dumb & had never been taught right from wrong. Thank God when I did marry, I learned about morals etc. from his family.
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It's sad but true. I live in KY and they're trying to pass a law that says people on welfare have to pass a drug test. I fully support this!
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If you are going to be together and have kids, why wouldn't you get married?
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I feel pity for you tantricia44. I'm not a single mom and with six kids but I have one. Having a child is one most wonderful moment happened to me. I can't express the happiness each day of my life; which money can't buy. It teaches me what love really means? Money can be found, but loving other in your small way is worthless.
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As we've seen in the past whenever someone challanges Tantricia to anything she never appears again.
That said how the heck do you know she was single? And also if she isn't what's wrong with a large family? Do you know everything about them? Of course you don't yet you come in here and continually judge people and reading the majority of your posts that's about all you know how to do is judge and ridicule someone who doesn't fall exactly inline with your thoughts and or beliefs.
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Anyone who has more than 2-3 kids is doing a disservice to humanity. There will always be consequences for humans multiplying like bacteria, but people get really pissy when you point this out.
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personally i think b/c is a great idea and i wish people would use it more. But not everyone gets government assistance especially in this kind of economy. im 16 and i have friends who cant get government assistance for watever reason but she does get help she also gets money from her daddy (cant think of the word for it now but when the farther isnt with the mother it comes out of his paycheck)
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give me one....give me one.....give me one !!!!! :crybaby2: I only have an 11 yr old boy. My husband and I can afford another child, don't need no government help.
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You're judging and making a lot of assumptions. Why are you angry just at seeing a mother with her kids? How do you know they were even her kids? How do know that woman with the 6 kids is on public assistance? Rich people shop at Walmart too. How do you know she was single? Maybe her husband was sick in bed or something. Do you think just because you chose not to have kids that you are better than other people who chose to have more than one?
Yeah I hate that I'm helping support lazy welfare queens but I don't assume every woman shopping by themselves with more than one kid is on welfare. I also don't think welfare should be a permanent thing. People fall on hard times and a safety net should help them out but there should be a limit.
I agree with you. I do need that for my pass time with unemployment. But now here I'm off with my life. Just don't judge anyone by their appearant.
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Nobody, but nobody has the right to dictate how many kids anyone can have. Neither does the Government have the right to inflict a "ban" on children in any way, shape, or form. When the Government starts telling us how many kids we can/cannot have, this is attacking our freedom of rights. Like someone said earlier on in this thread, isn't the Government in our lives more than it should be as it is?
Neither it is up to anyone of us to judge the numerical acceptable quota of children our neighbor has or wants. We are all different individuals with different hopes and dreams. We live in America where we can have as many kids as we want. If they can afford them or not is not the issue here. It's the attack on the freedom of choice. To muddy it with welfare benefits or whatever is not the bottom line.
For those of you who believe their should be a ban on the amount of children born, are living in the wrong country. Move to China or wherever they have such bans.
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For those of you who believe their should be a ban on the amount of children born, are living in the wrong country. Move to China or wherever they have such bans.
Yes, let's not have any limits on a country that is home to 1.5 BILLION people. Because, you know, it's not like people starve or anything as a result. ::)
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Our system is cracked, I think if your on the system you should have to do public service, ( teach the children NOTHING is for free ) and i think they should have to do drug test ( if you go nothing to hide whats the big deal ) So many people do use the system as a way not to get a job... I live in rural america and let me tell ya its a serious prob here as well.... single or not if you cant afford 6 kids dont have em
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I can see both sides on this one. My husband and I both had kids before we got together. I stay home with the kids, he works. We have NEVER used government assistance. We make it work. His ex, on the other hand, just keeps on popping them out, and on the last one had to figure out which of 5 guys was the father was. She purposely works as little as possible and uses all the government assistance she can get. People like her should get her tubes tied. It just makes me sick. But there really are people out there that can take care of several kids and not need government assistance.
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For those of you who believe their should be a ban on the amount of children born, are living in the wrong country. Move to China or wherever they have such bans.
Yes, let's not have any limits on a country that is home to 1.5 BILLION people. Because, you know, it's not like people starve or anything as a result. ::)
Like I said.....if you don't like the free choices this country offers, then you would be better off in a country that holds more to your dictates of family/child control. Would you have liked it better if your mother choose abortion and not had you? After all, look at the space you are taking up.
Oh, but that's different right? Your birth was so much better than anybody else's?
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Being a single parent is hard enough when you have one child, as I do. But I couldn't imagine trying to raise six on my own. I don't think that you should assume that a mother is a single parent just because she is at wal-mart with 6 children. She could be babysitting or her husband could be at work I think that we should all stop assuming and getting pissed over things we aren't sure of. But anyway fyi the government doesn't even give out government assisstance to mothers like the back in the day welfare programs now moms are required to actively look for work and just to get kibbles and bits, well at least in Atl.
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Would you have liked it better if your mother choose abortion and not had you?
lol That's a stupid thing to say. Yes, stupid. It's stupid because if she had gotten an abortion, I wouldn't have known the difference. Just like the kids hubby and I will probably never have will never know the difference, either.
Same ol' one liners, same ol' logical fails!
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Would you have liked it better if your mother choose abortion and not had you?
lol That's a stupid thing to say. Yes, stupid. It's stupid because if she had gotten an abortion, I wouldn't have known the difference. Just like the kids hubby and I will probably never have will never know the difference, either.
Same ol' one liners, same ol' logical fails!
Same old put downs and labeling someone stupid (or worse) when you don't like their opinion. Grow up!
Again....you did not address the question....is your birth so much better than anybody else's? It's easy to dictate for others when you yourself have already been born and are enjoying life.
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Same old put downs and labeling someone stupid (or worse) when you don't like their opinion. Grow up!
It is you who needs to mature and learn to accept some criticism. We all say and do stupid things. Do you expect to get a free pass when something you say is patently false?
you did not address the question....is your birth so much better than anybody else's?
No it's not. I'm not the one running around thinking the whole universe was made just for me. *hint, hint*
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We see this with other countries so much more of a bigger issue because there is no food or water for them to drink, and yet we wonder why someone doesn't take a bunch of birth control over to them. But the world does not work like that, we are not in a perfect world, we are in a world that is full of sadness and dispair, and you may think I am talking about the welfare or the poor, but I am actually talking about the rich that turn their backs on the poor, the ones with money who shutter to help the poor, or the ones that say why did they bring a child into this world, they did not bring a child into this world, they brung another child in, because that was God's plan, this world is not the end. God will take care of all His children in His Kingdom, this place is only temporary and it is our temporary chance to get our heart on right, and not put others down or judge them, but ask God to help them, feed them and take care of all His precious angels, for one day, the last shall be first, and the first last, the ones with the right heart, who truly seek the Kingdom of God will be with Him and all His Glory.
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It is you who needs to mature and learn to accept some criticism. We all say and do stupid things. Do you expect to get a free pass when something you say is patently false?
Get off it! What I said was not stupid, but my opinion, and in answer of what you posted. Just because you think it's false, doesn't make it so. You always come off with your "know it all" attitude, peppered with put downs and verbal sarcasm. Somebody doesn't see things like you do? Too bad!!
you did not address the question....is your birth so much better than anybody else's?
No it's not. I'm not the one running around thinking the whole universe was made just for me. *hint, hint*
As a matter of fact, the whole universe was made for humanity, and life is a gift from God. Since you have denounced God and His existence, then your response is nothing more than verbal sarcasm.
That's what it really comes down to, doesn't it? ms. atheist.
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Maybe you shouldn't make snap judgements. My mom has four plus raising my sisters two kids. She works two jobs and doesn't get any assistance. Hateful much?
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Told you all the OP wouldn't come back to the thread. She has a history of doing exactly that even when people make convincing points otherwise.
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i know someone with 4 kids and she has never been married and her baby daddy only comes around every so often and he is on and off drugs all the time. she has food stamps but she has a job but i dont think they give her enough hours and she doesnt have a babysitter so watch her 2 youngest so the older ones watch the other 2. she has been with a new guy and he has 2 kids of his own and a little girl who he calls his own. i felt really bad for the lady coz she was trying. always having garage sales to get extra money. i with they would have stayed upstairs but the place was too small. they moved and i havent seen them since.
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so, the lady with the 4 kids and the dead beat dad has got a house with her now bf and his kids, her yard floods and her basement but they didnt care, they took the house ne way coz the oldest wanted in a different school district coz he was getting bullied at his former school. she has a job through a temp agency and lives 1 mile away from our place.