FC Community
Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: sdubrule on September 03, 2011, 10:49:51 pm
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You see i have a friend who insist on criticizing me constantly on the things i do. she hates that i dont go out amd do all the things that she does. i dont believe in partying and going out every weekend. she is always trying to parent me and tell me all the things i do wrong when in reality she should be parenting to her 2 year old demon child who uses profanity constantly and even fights her. she also constantly calls me fat because i am not a size two like she is. will i be a bad friend and call her on all of her :bs: ?
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Why are you friends with this abusive bully?! I wouldn't be. I grew up with that (my mom), but I'm not a helpless kid anymore so if someone treats me like that whatever friendship we had would be over. She's trying to control you and make herself feel good by putting you down. She must feel real bad about herself. I'm not a confronter, but if you are go ahead and confront her on it. One way or another your situation will be resolved. There's nothing wrong with you, you are a precious spirit and you deserve friends who cause you to feel good about yourself. The best thing you can do for yourself, and for her, is to believe in your own value and stop taking her abuse. If she's truly interested in being your friend she'll respect you enough to treat you like a valued friend. :peace: :angel11:
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I know exactly what you are talking about! I "used" to have a friend that was just like that. I had known her all through school and we stayed in contact after we graduated. But she was always the type to put me down, tell me what "I need" to do and so on. After we both started having kids it only got worse...She thought since she had girls they were so much smarter than my boys....It was something all of the time until I finally had enough! I told her we were not friends...and that she had no idea of what it meant to be a friend. It was the best thing that I had ever done!
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That is not the definition of a friend. A true friend will not always agree with you and will tell you the truth at times even if it may hurt, but would never intentionally hurt or "bully" you for no good reason. She obviously holds some envy of you or she would not always try to put you down to make herself feel better. It's a type of control.
Best thing to do is have a heart to heart with her and tell her that you have basically outgrown the friendship and you need to cultivate relationships that are positive and not negative. YOU make the boundaries and stick to them no matter what. That way, you are in control. If she tries to overstep those boundaries, remind her of them.
The same with even a relationship between a man and woman. If he or she starts trying to remake you, like complaining about your clothes, body, etc., then they are clearly trying to find some fault with you to make themselves look or feel better. Thing is, you CAN do better. Remember, you are the one who makes the decisions about life's choices, not someone else.
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Defintely not a friend, real friends don't do that. You should let her know what she's doing, she may not even realize it. And if she does realize it then it may not be wise to associate with her any longer.
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If your "friend" is making you feel bad and doubt yourself then she isn't your friend at all. It seems to me she isn't happy with her own life, she is trying to bring you down to bring herself up.
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A real friend would never make you feel bad about yourself. There is a huge difference between friendly suggestions and bluntly telling you what they think you should do with your life and I'm sure you are smart enough to know the difference between the two. I would tell her she needs to stop otherwise you can't associate with her, it might be tough depending on the length of your friendship but you will be so much happier and the less baggage the better! :wave: