FC Community
Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: stacyd32 on October 15, 2012, 04:51:30 pm
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so here is a question...not sure if anyone will find this out of the ordinary...but what do u do with a child that is completely unmanageable....cant sit still, doesnt listen, cant concentrate, disturbs others for fun, in trouble in schooal, at home and on bus? Medication just isnt working!!
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It depends on the age.
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hes 10
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Tell his doctors the meds are not working.
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hes 10
Indeed. It is a shame people that can't handle having kids and don't know what to do with them medicate them...
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If you really feel like you can't handle the child maybe you should seek professional help. It may not be about medications, there could be other things going with them and they need someone to talk to about it to get help. If a child is acting out likes this its probably deeper than what you think. I hope whatever you do it helps and the child gets better.
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I can understand your frustration. I have three kids ages 7, 4, and 3. The 3 and 4 year-olds are boys and they are fine by themself, but when together it is like they become search and destroy. I don't want to tell you to let your child run over you and do what he wants, but I think maybe you should get on his level and see if maybe he can give you some insight as to why he acts the way he does.
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I would say he needs a person to talk to. Not medication. Meds don't fix all things. Sounds like he is acting out, trying to get attention. He is seeking it in the wrong ways...Kinda like my 2 yr old does. I also have a 16 yr old and a 12 yr old. I'm not saying the child doesn't get good attention from you but sometimes the child needs more than the parents can give...and goes about it wrong. My daughter 16 did that...still does if she feels she isn't getting what she needs from us. She starts lying and stuff to get more attention from others. Take the child to a dr...not for meds but to see if he needs just to vent about something. Would be my opinion.
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Yes it's always good to take kids to the dr. and get them checked. And meds aren't always the answer but just keep praying.
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"Kids" should never be received as Payment, (the name of this forum), for anything.
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I am sorry i dint realize the category this was under...pardon my mistake. I don't want to medicate... i have tried the therapist thing.....I am geatful for all the replies as well.
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I am sorry i dint realize the category this was under...pardon my mistake. I don't want to medicate... i have tried the therapist thing.....I am geatful for all the replies as well.
Hopefully, you can get some pragmatic assistance for you and your child. It seems to me that there was a lot less of this "ADHD" thing than back in the old days when kids would simply play outside and burn off some of that energy.
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I am sorry i dint realize the category this was under...pardon my mistake. I don't want to medicate... i have tried the therapist thing.....I am geatful for all the replies as well.
Hopefully, you can get some pragmatic assistance for you and your child. It seems to me that there was a lot less of this "ADHD" thing than back in the old days when kids would simply play outside and burn off some of that energy.
Don't mean to continue this in the wrong category, but I agree. Might need someone outside of the house to talk to and medication should be a very last resort. Kids always seem to feel that parents, teachers, etc. are their archnemesis and they cannot ever understand what they are going through. My son is 12 and in the past 3 years he went through a similar problem. I took him to counseling and it helped some. The therapy had a program where they would take the children out (to eat, to the bowling alley, etc) and this part really helped. Perhaps you could also look into big brother/big sister programming in your area?
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Thank you Falcon for the advice i am gonna try the big brother big sister thing out
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have alot of patience...love them..set rules..discipline by taking things away sometimes if you have to..but love them and let them know how much you do. tell them when they do something good, tell them you are proud of them more and then they will want to hear it more.
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I really hate that the solution to every problem is medication. Have you looked into changing his diet? If everything else fails what harm could it do? Try to cut out processed foods, excess, sugar, salt, preservatives. Try to limit toxins in the home like cleaning products, bug sprays etc. Maybe there is something he is allergic to that is causing his behavior. Look into this it can't hurt.
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I am sorry, but do not medicate your child. That is rediculious. I try hard not to offend people, but children have to be diciplined. You said your child is 10. Sounds like he needs to be taken to the tool shed as we say. Spanking is not abuse as long as it is done in the right way. You have to tell the child what they did wrong, spank them, and give them time to absorb their actions. You then talk to the child in a positive manner and let the matter go. Do not yell at the child because it leads to a feeling iof abandonment. Spanking say, "this is wrong and ;life has punishments." Simply grounding a child doesn't really hold them back if they choose not to listenm to what you are sayting. Spanking gives them reinforcement to behave. Don't be one of those parents who lets their child bully others and parents around. This is your job. Sounds like tough love, but in the end it brings you closer and makes the relationship better. Let us know what you decide. Thanks a lot for sharing this. :)
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I have a Master's degree in Family Counseling and there is very little that can't be managed with structure, patience, attention to the situation, understanding and consistency. It is important to listen to why children are doing what they are doing. What is he trying to say that he feels isn't being heard? Often, spending individual time with the child helps. Having calm, structured time helps. When they know what to expect instead of things being uncertain and "flying by the seat of your pants," it is so obvious the difference! Try it.. without excuses... without its not that easys... without I don't have time for that. If it is a problem enough to tell people about online, then it is important enough to take the time to try to help. He needs to learn tools now to get him through life successfully! Spend time with him. When you see a problem, figure out a way with him that it can work for his unique situation. For example- kids are required to sit for a very long time in school, which is difficult! Talk to him about realizing this isn't easy, but maybe as soon as he gets outside for recess, run as fast as he can 3 times around the yard. Tell him that all his energy that is getting stored while sitting will make his run that much better and that much faster. Find a way for him to be successful in his responsibilities and addressing the uniqueness that is him! Kids are beautiful and wonderful in their differences. It is our job as adults to help them balance doing what is required while being free to be themselves! I hope this helps.
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Thank you for your offensive suggestion to beat the ten year old, as long as it's called "spanking" and "done in the way", (a vague, unspecified manner of beating?).
I try hard not to offend people, but children have to be diciplined. You said your child is 10. Sounds like he needs to be taken to the tool shed as we say. Spanking is not abuse as long as it is done in the right way. You have to tell the child what they did wrong, spank them ... Spanking ... Spanking gives them ...
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:notworthy: So do like this! And put that kid on my worship.
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:notworthy: So do like this! And put that kid on my worship.
I didnt understand that comment. Can you rephrase it? Thanks a bunch.
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so here is a question...not sure if anyone will find this out of the ordinary...but what do u do with a child that is completely unmanageable....cant sit still, doesnt listen, cant concentrate, disturbs others for fun, in trouble in schooal, at home and on bus? Medication just isnt working!!
Well, I'm just an old grandma but when children are this rambunctious maybe it IS THE MEDICATION that is making him so!!! Medication can help at times but to be honest I would take him to another doctor for a second opinion before I went back to my personal physician. It seems to me the child may be ADHD or something like that and if this is the case there is help out there - just be careful what you give the child cause for all the good medicine does IT CAN ALSO DO HARM!!!! Good luck!!!!