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Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: kat112073 on May 08, 2013, 06:37:11 am
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On October 21,2006 my husband and I got married and I was expecting my friend at the time to be there for me. However, she never showed up for my wedding or my bridal shower. She was no where to be found. I was really angry with her for the longest time, and til this very day, I still don't know why she didn't come to my wedding. What would you do? I have since forgave her, but I never will forget what she did. My husband really doesn't want to go after the way she treated me when I was getting married. So, I am a little baffaled on what to do. My sister told me I should go. I have mixed feelings on what I should do. Do you think she was jealous of me? Honestly speaking I think she was. But I still need to know why she wasn't there on my special day.
Any advice is greatly appreciated!!
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Did you ever ask her outright why she was a no show? Was she possibly sick, or someone close to her was ill? If there was no reason other than she just didn't show, I would stay home, but that's me.
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I think that after close to 7 years it's time to let it go. It's childish to not want to go to her wedding simply because she didn't attend yours especially when you don't her reasoning behind not attending.
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Yes, I did and she said she didn't want to rehash anything. But, I think she also said the car she had the time was gone because a big tree fell on it and damaged her car. So, I don't know what to do. I also don't want problems either. I am a person that forgives alot but I don't forget that easily. I am not a cold blooded person to do that to someone else, but I shouldn't be obligated either to go.
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Wish you a good Luck with your beautiful weeding on June 28,2013 ;D
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If she's your friend, and you've truly forgiven her...and you want to go to her wedding...then what's stopping you? If you are hesitating simply because she was a no-show at your wedding, then that's an indication you are still holding a grudge against her and haven't really forgiven her.
If you trust your friend's explanation that her mode of transportation was in question, take it at face value. Who knows what was going on, maybe she was jealous (as you suspect) and now she regrets being that petty back then and is embarrassed to admit it. Her not going was her loss.
The question to ask yourself is will you feel regret if you miss her wedding? If you'll regret missing hers, then go - regardless of what others think.
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I think you should go and enjoy yourself no matter what you suppose to be a friend.
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Thank you all for your valueable words of advice. This really helps alot!!
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Water under the bridge. There's a statute of limitations of 7 years on holding a grudge. If it still bothers you, ask her about it. But go to the wedding, have fun, and know you did the right thing. Friends are very precious, even if they aren't perfect.
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While I understand she did not come to your wedding, you should go to hers. Be a part of her day, make her feel happy, and have a good time. You won't forget, but you can forgive her for it. :heart: :heart: :heart:
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If you want to go, go if you don't want to don't. Do you have to travel a long distance for it? Are you still close friends like you see each other often or are maybe only keep in touch every few months or so?
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Hmm... did she atleast send a gift? If not, I wouldn't go... I'd buy them a present... maybe.... but I definitely wouldn't go.
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If you want to continue to have this person as a friend, put the past aside and go with a smile in your face and happiness in your heart.
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Let bygones be bygones. What has happened in the past, you cannot change now. If you really want to go to the wedding, go and enjoy yourself. You had fun at your wedding, didn't you? It was her that missed a good time and memories. Life is way too short to hold a grudge that only makes you feel worse on the inside.
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"Let bygones be bygones. What has happened in the past, you cannot change now. If you really want to go to the wedding, go and enjoy yourself. You had fun at your wedding, didn't you? It was her that missed a good time and memories. Life is way too short to hold a grudge that only makes you feel worse on the inside."
She didn't come to your wedding, that was her loss. You and all your other friends had a good time and made some great memories that she was not a part of. Go to her wedding, you will see lots of your other friends too, you will have fun and make lots of new memories. Carrying a grudge doesn't do you any good. She knows she didn't go to yours, and probably regrets it. SO GO and have a good time. If it is causing you this much anguish then the only reason that you would not go is to be spiteful....go and make new GREAT memories! Leave the past in the past.
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I think if it were me I would ask her outright why she was unable to make it to my wedding. If she gave a reasonable explanation that should help you make your decision. My second option would be to go to her wedding, but not bother with a gift. If you are still friendly it's up to you, but if you haven't been very friendly since she didn't come to your wedding, I wouldn't want to spend money on her. Good Luck with your debate.
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if you forgave her and are friends now, obviously if she invited you to her wedding, I would honestly ask her why she was not there to support you. If that question causes a problem or she gets defensive then you have your answer and probably not a friend anymore. If she is your friend then you should be able to talk about what happened. good luck
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Did you ever decide to go I mean not matter what we say its still up to you. But me personally I would go and not be angry about the past just be the best friend she suppose to been to you.
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On October 21,2006 my husband and I got married and I was expecting my friend at the time to be there for me. However, she never showed up for my wedding or my bridal shower. She was no where to be found. I was really angry with her for the longest time, and til this very day, I still don't know why she didn't come to my wedding. What would you do? I have since forgave her, but I never will forget what she did. My husband really doesn't want to go after the way she treated me when I was getting married. So, I am a little baffaled on what to do. My sister told me I should go. I have mixed feelings on what I should do. Do you think she was jealous of me? Honestly speaking I think she was. But I still need to know why she wasn't there on my special day.
Any advice is greatly appreciated!!
It’s strange when you said you forgiven her but haven’t forgotten the time she didn't show up at your wedding and bridal shower. To me it means you HAVEN’T forgiven her at all. Like what the other members said, you shouldn’t hold grudges by living in the past. I wouldn’t worry about stroking my Ego thinking it was jealousy. Who cares? You can never be wrong if you attend her wedding. This will show that you are a true friend. Just because she didn’t attend yours doesn’t mean it gives you the incentive to drop at her level.
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Somewhere down the line you made her think that you had forgiven her, other wise she would not have invited you to her wedding. If her missing your wedding hurt you that bad, you should just tell her and clear the air. Even if you attend the wedding, if you are holding that grudge you are being fake. Speak to your friend before the wedding about how you really feel or just stay home, it is to late in the day to play with each others feelings.
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My grandson is getting married May 26, just little over week from now. I had to take a personal day off work to get to go. He is marrying a nice young lady that is a 8th grade teacher. I pray they have a good life together. Hope everyone has a wonderful day and may God bless each of you and keep you safe.