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Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: PGS28 on September 10, 2013, 07:10:38 am

Title: How To Forgive?
Post by: PGS28 on September 10, 2013, 07:10:38 am
Having an unforgiving heart can block your passage into heaven so I'm starting my spiritual journey with learning to forgive.  How do you do it?
Title: Re: How To Forgive?
Post by: moonangel on September 10, 2013, 07:47:13 am
by realizing that I can forgive but will never forget  and coming to terms on how to deal with things
Title: Re: How To Forgive?
Post by: BMaston12 on September 10, 2013, 08:21:56 am
Having an unforgiving heart can block your passage into heaven so I'm starting my spiritual journey with learning to forgive.  How do you do it?
Well, you just need to remember that without forgiving, you harden your heart! You cannot move forward if you are holding on to a grudge. Also, just because you forgive, does not mean that you haven't learned from the experience. So you really can't Forget. Learn from your mistakes, but let it go and move on. I hope that helps you on your journey!
BMaston12
Title: Re: How To Forgive?
Post by: msmoneybags48 on September 10, 2013, 08:29:06 am
I have heard that too.  My youngest sister and I are not on speaking terms, basically because she did me wrong.  I prayed to God and forgave her, but the wounds are too deep.  She found another reason not to have anything to do with me.  I am married to a man she used to "talk" to over 10 years ago.  When she found out the two of us were an item, her intent was to break us up.  She told him I would break his heart; that has not happened.  I was accused of stealing her leftovers; she says she had him first.  In order for you to claim a man, you first had to have a man.  I want to know how that is possible when they (my husband and she) both say they have never went all the way and have never kissed.  He told me he gave her $10, which she bought a pair of capri pants to visit her ex, who is in prison for killing our next door neighbor.  He (the ex) said she was already dead when he got there, but his fingerprints were found on her neck because he choked the life out of her because he needed money to buy drugs.  She did not want me in the house, so she found reinforcements to get me out.  When we got into an argument about her children, she told me how I am supposed to treat her children, and I informed her that I had a news flash for her; I didn't have to keep her children.  My daughter went to confront her in my defense, and she called the police on my daughter because, when my daughter knocked on the door, a piece of window in the door fell out, and the window was already cracked.  She even went so far as to keep me from getting a job; the job called to let me know I was hired and she would not answer the phone.  It was more important for her to talk to my cousin but they were gossiping.  My other sister thought it was funny, and now she (my youngest sister) is causing problems for her.  I wanted you to know that I have reasons to be mad with her, but yet I forgave her.  I  never will forget it either. :angel11: :angel12: :angry7: :wave:
Title: Re: How To Forgive?
Post by: tantricia44 on September 10, 2013, 08:49:07 am
Forgiving is really hard. You wonder if you do forgive, does it mean you're just total wimp & letting the the guilty party get away with everything. Forgiveness to me depends on what the offender did to me. One thing is always unforgiveable & that's cheating on me! I've never forgiven my past ex's.After a while, after the wounds have healed, I really don't give a damned anymore, about the sob! The only person to forgive is me, me because during that time of hell, I blamed myself for the jerk's actions. I don't believe you need to forgive anything, to get to where you need to go in the after life. Just be good to yourself & others you encounter in you daily life.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: How To Forgive?
Post by: minioncookies on September 10, 2013, 10:25:18 am
To me Forgiveness is a word people make up
To torture people
It's a cruel cold word.. FORGIVENESS is like a giant hole of sorrow hurt and pain(my personal opinion)

Forgiveness in itself is easier said than done..
How do you forgive people that take lives of people or animals you love?
How do you forgive people that do you wrong and say sorry then go out
and do it again..
How can you forgive people that make others suffer
How do you forgive someone that does things so horrible you want to seek vengeance..
I don't know how to forgive...
I forgave so many people and it still all plays in my mind.. day in and day out..

so the question is..If you forgive someone.. Do you really forgive them truthfully
because you are always stuck with remembering what they did..
You never forget so if you never forget how can you actually forgive?
I never Understood forgiveness i am not cold hearted.. i just don't get the meaning of it..
Maybe i'm the only one.. but.. i rarely see a point to Forgiveness..
Title: Re: How To Forgive?
Post by: 6265AT99 on September 10, 2013, 12:17:10 pm
Having an unforgiving heart can block your passage into heaven so I'm starting my spiritual journey with learning to forgive.  How do you do it?

Forgiving is something we all should do but, sometimes it's not easy.  So what I have done is prayed to the Lord to help me find the goodness in those that I need to forgive, even though I cannot ever forget.
Title: Re: How To Forgive?
Post by: sherryinutah on September 11, 2013, 12:20:43 am
Forgiving everyone, including ourselves, also has a cleansing effect on our aura (energy field).  

I think it's important for us to allow ourselves to be upset, angry, etc.  After we move through that phase we can begin our own healing process.  After we have a chance to heal we can take action to forgive everyone for the mistakes that they made.

Everyone benefits from our willingness to forgive, especially us, because as we forgive we set ourselves free from the negativity.  

It works well for me to write a letter of forgiveness to a specific person that I never send.  :heart:
Title: Re: How To Forgive?
Post by: Kirenisa on September 11, 2013, 06:31:03 am
just give it time it's not an over night process as someone told me it takes 2 weeks to make something into a habit, you just need to take it slow is all I can really tell you there's no real advice i can give you to teach you how to do it except to try and let go.
Title: Re: How To Forgive?
Post by: lgemini on September 11, 2013, 06:33:43 am
 When you do not forgive that person has more control over you. You have to forgive to be free.
Title: Re: How To Forgive?
Post by: mgint on September 11, 2013, 06:39:35 am
just remember god forgives those who ask for forgiveness and follow his example.
Title: Re: How To Forgive?
Post by: jenniferhoder on September 11, 2013, 06:56:51 am
It takes a bigger person to forgive sometimes. I can forgive, but I dont forget.
It is not an easy thing to do!!!
Title: Re: How To Forgive?
Post by: PGS28 on September 11, 2013, 07:20:45 am
minioncookies I fully understand what you're saying, but my main reason for seeking the strength to forgive is I want desperately to go to heaven.  Even more so than that, I read somewhere that seeking revenge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.  I don't think to forgive means to allow people to get away with hurting you.  Still tell them how you feel, still press charges, still do whatever it is that will make you feel better but at the end of the day you don't want to let memories of what they did control your perspective.  My goal is to release the resentment, not the memory. I know it's much easier said than done, that's why I started this thread :)
Title: Re: How To Forgive?
Post by: PGS28 on September 11, 2013, 07:21:25 am
moonangel thanks

BMaston12 I was asking for techniques people use to actually forgive

msmoneybags48 Wow!! It takes a big woman to forgive those things, so I'm glad you found the power to do so.  I've realized that I can forgive someone without letting them back into my life.  A person has to want to change, you can't keep allowing them back into your life knowing that they will hurt you because doing so will make you bitter.  Forgive and love from a distance, that's what I'm doing with some of my family members. 

Title: Re: How To Forgive?
Post by: PGS28 on September 11, 2013, 07:21:59 am
tantricia44 That was my fear, that forgiving is letting the person get away with what they did but I read somewhere that you can forgive and not let the person back into your life.  In fact, in order to maintain a certain level of peace, it's recommended to not let certain people back into your life, but don't hold resentment against them.  I find a little solace in finding out that when a person does you wrong they always get it back, whether you know it or not.
Title: Re: How To Forgive?
Post by: PGS28 on September 11, 2013, 07:22:46 am
Kirenisa I agree that time is also a powerful tool, thanks!  I certainly don't want to be one of those people that's still upset with a person about something petty that they did 10 years ago.

626AT99 I agree that prayer is a powerful tool, thanks a lot!

sherryinutah  Your post is so very helpful!!!

lgemini and mgint I agree whole heartedly!

jenniferhoder I definitely understand that
Title: Re: How To Forgive?
Post by: gaylasue on September 11, 2013, 07:25:09 am
I've learned through the years to lay all my burdens upon the Lord.  Prayer helps ease hurt feelings by turning those feelings over to the Lord.  If we aren't able to forgive others for the trespasses they do against us, how can we expect the Lord to forgive us for our trespasses especially considering what He did for us?
Title: Re: How To Forgive?
Post by: PGS28 on September 14, 2013, 05:35:10 am
touche'
Title: Re: How To Forgive?
Post by: InfuseMe1 on September 14, 2013, 10:52:16 am
the way I understand it, is that you only need forgive those who seek forgiveness from you for wrongs done to you, and they must repent and have a change of heart too, as for murders and rapists, there is no forgiveness on earth for that... they must be sent home to be judged at once....  guess we'll all see someday....   :peace:
Title: Re: How To Forgive?
Post by: nannycoe1 on September 14, 2013, 11:30:42 am
I held a grudge against someone for years until I almost let it destroy me. You have to forgive, but never forget. I learned it was hurting me a lot more than it was hurting them. :heart:
Title: Re: How To Forgive?
Post by: PGS28 on September 15, 2013, 07:23:34 am
I don't know about this....

the way I understand it, is that you only need forgive those who seek forgiveness from you for wrongs done to you, and they must repent and have a change of heart too, as for murders and rapists, there is no forgiveness on earth for that... they must be sent home to be judged at once....  guess we'll all see someday....   :peace:
Title: Re: How To Forgive?
Post by: PGS28 on September 15, 2013, 07:24:08 am
I agree!

I held a grudge against someone for years until I almost let it destroy me. You have to forgive, but never forget. I learned it was hurting me a lot more than it was hurting them. :heart:
Title: Re: How To Forgive?
Post by: sanglee on September 15, 2013, 06:56:44 pm
its sounds alot easier then to really do it, to these kinds of life problems there are no real answers
Title: Re: How To Forgive?
Post by: countrygirl12 on September 18, 2013, 06:15:11 am
Having an unforgiving heart can block your passage into heaven so I'm starting my spiritual journey with learning to forgive.  How do you do it?

Well for one thing, like you said, if I refuse to forgive people for things they do to me then God will not forgive me for things I do.  And besides that I am s l o w l y learning that harboring anger only hurts me.  I know a girl who I went to high school with and I saw her the other day (been 20 years) and she huffed and rolled her eyes and made it clear she still hates me.  I am thinking...do you even remember WHY you hate me?  I know we didn't get along...ever!  But still.  I just laughed and have told several people about it.  It's not hurting me.  It only hurts her.  It's the same with me.  People I don't like or harbor anger or hate against - it doesn't hurt them.  It only hurts me.  So why let them have that victory over me? :thumbsup:
Title: Re: How To Forgive?
Post by: lovekat on September 18, 2013, 09:44:04 am
to forgive you have to learn your worth, we are all wounded. We are all inadequate. On our best days, our self-esteem hovers somewhere between feeble and fragile. All it takes is disapproval—or perceived disapproval—to send us staggering. These attacks bother us because we forget who we really are.
Title: Re: How To Forgive?
Post by: lovekat on September 18, 2013, 09:44:48 am
As believers, you and I are forgiven children of God. We have been lovingly adopted into his royal family as his sons and daughters. Our true worth comes from our relationship to him, not from our appearance, our performance or our net worth. When we remember that truth, criticism bounces off us like BBs ricocheting off a rhino. The trouble is that we forget.
Title: Re: How To Forgive?
Post by: PGS28 on October 10, 2013, 12:50:58 pm
sanglee true, but at least wanting to forgive is a start

countrygirl12 it's the pettiest thing ever to hold a grudge from high school, that says a lot about her character.  Unfortunately, I've learned that not a lot of people mature beyond jr. high.  I'm 31 and I've had to delete quite a few classmates on FB for acting like teens.  Like you said, we don't have to be bffs, but as adults we should at least be able to be civil towards each other.

lovekat I love your comments! I feel empowered just reading them!

Title: Re: How To Forgive?
Post by: jcalexis on October 10, 2013, 05:04:52 pm
you ca not forgive like this. It is not easy. Always ask God the courage to forgive. It is a weakness in our soul. Only through prayers we can overcome this weakness.
Title: Re: How To Forgive?
Post by: lguzman1 on October 10, 2013, 05:14:42 pm
Well I think of Jesus and how he died so that we can be saved. Part of his preaching was that we have to forgive and if you can't you don't deserve to enter the kingdom of heaven and hey I want to enter so I forgive.  :angel12:
Title: Re: How To Forgive?
Post by: PGS28 on October 18, 2013, 03:11:29 pm
Thank you.

you ca not forgive like this. It is not easy. Always ask God the courage to forgive. It is a weakness in our soul. Only through prayers we can overcome this weakness.