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Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: PMZ908 on June 18, 2009, 06:38:20 am
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ONE AFTERNOON A RICH MAN WAS RIDING IN HIS LIMOUSINE WHEN HE SAW A POOR MAN AND HIS FAMILY ROADSIDE, EATING GRASS. DISTURBED, HE ORDERED HIS DRIVER TO STOP, AND HE GOT OUT TO INVESTIGATE.
"SIR," THE RICH MAN SAID, "COLLECT UR AND BRING THEM INTO MY LIMO. U CAN EAT AT MY ESTATE TONIGHT, AND U CAN HAVE UR FILL."
"THANK U FOR UR KINDNESS." THE FATHER SAID AS HIS FAMILY ENTERED THE LIMO.
" THINK NOTHING OF IT," THE RICH MAN SAID. "WE HAVEN'T MOWED THE LAWN IN MONTHS."
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lol thats pretty funny. :thumbsup:
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funny :thumbsup:
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Ok Ok.. my turn...
Bracelet at Tiffany's
A lady walks into Tiffany's. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet
and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly
has to fart.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little whoops
and prays that a sales person wasn't anywhere near. As she turns around, her worst
nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Good looking as well .
Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional
in a store like Tiffany's, he politely greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help
you today?'
Blushing & uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little
'incident', she asks, 'Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?' He answers.........
"Madam . . if you farted just looking at it - you're going to *bleep* when I tell you the price ."
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Here is one that is out of this world! An old man and his wife aqre sitting at home watching tv. A knock comes at the door. The man goes to the door to find 2 aliens standing there. "Hello" they say "we are here to conduct some research on Earthling sexuality. Would you and your wife like to help us out by having sex with us." The old man turns to his wife and asks " Honey you want to do this", she replioes "why not there is not anything on tv anyway". So they each go into another room with one of the naliens, and have sex. Aftrerward, the aliens leave, and the old couple go back into the living room. The wife asks her husband "so, how was it?" He replies "It was ok, but all through the sex she kept pulling on my right ear, and I thought she was going to pull my ear off! How was it for you?" She replies "It was great. Every time I pulled his ear, his *bleep* got bigger and bigger".
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lol :thumbsup:
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Lmao :notworthy:
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VERY funny jokes, people. :thumbsup:
Here's one:
Harry picks up his phone one day, and on the other end is the emergency room surgeon. The surgeon says, "Your wife has been in a terrible car accident, but I have good and bad news. The bad news is she's lost the use of her arms and legs and she'll need help going to the bathroom and eating for the rest of her life." Harry gasps, "My god, that's terrible! What's the good news?" The doctor says, "I was kidding, she's dead."