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Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: countrygirl12 on October 29, 2013, 01:21:39 pm
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I kind of have this situation. Just wondered how others would handle this. Two nights ago I was at work and an older much older than me man cornered me where no one else was around and while licking his lips told me he had "bought some new toys and I want you to come play with me". I have talked to this person a ton of times and he has always been nice. I thought he was a good Christian man. He goes to church and has always seemed nice. Even when I knew him before I started working where I am now. I did tell a low on the totem pole supervisor in another department (that I have been friends with for several years but made her promise not to say anything). I don't want to get him fired (and if management knew he said it he would be gone). I don't want to be a trouble maker but don't think I should have to put up with stuff like this. There have been other little things but it seems to be getting progressively worse. Idk. Any thoughts? Suggestions?
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I used to work in a senior community some years ago. I had a similar situation with a few of the old men. One in particular was very harassing and I eventually told my immediate supervisor who was very happy to get him to leave me alone.
No one and I mean no one deserves to be harassed in any way, shape or form. Whoever you know that you can thoroughly trust really should know what is going on. I suggest not going through this alone.
Hope it all works out for you. :)
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Thanks. The woman I told I just wanted someone else to know something had happened. He is kind of heavy and he likes to stand close to me with his big belly touching me. The more I think about it the more I get mad. My friend that I told that works there said to first tell him to back off and if he says anything else to tell management. I am pretty sure she would go with me. I have told some family also. Everyone seems to think I have a right to be upset.
I just think I should be able to go to work and not have to feel threatened or afraid. But the thing is if he gets fired then everyone will be mad at me. :BangHead: I also know he walks by a lot of other females and licks his lips. They think he is nasty but just ignore him. I think he has went too far for me to just "ignore" him.
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I don't think you need to put up with this, especially in today's society. I would tell the supervisor and if things get better, fine. But if they don't you can take it further up the ladder. What is this guy, living in the stone age! :o
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Thanks. The woman I told I just wanted someone else to know something had happened. He is kind of heavy and he likes to stand close to me with his big belly touching me. The more I think about it the more I get mad. My friend that I told that works there said to first tell him to back off and if he says anything else to tell management. I am pretty sure she would go with me. I have told some family also. Everyone seems to think I have a right to be upset.
I just think I should be able to go to work and not have to feel threatened or afraid. But the thing is if he gets fired then everyone will be mad at me. :BangHead: I also know he walks by a lot of other females and licks his lips. They think he is nasty but just ignore him. I think he has went too far for me to just "ignore" him.
I really think this guy needs to be stopped before he goes too far and someone gets hurt. It's absolutely ridiculous that these types of things linger on and on before any action is taken. I hope it helps you to know that I understand what you are going through because I had similar experiences.
Just out of curiosity, what do you think would happen if you stand very tall to him, at least relatively speaking, look him straight in the eye with as serious a look as you can and bark loudly at him to leave you alone? How mad would the other co workers be if you blew the whistle on him? This guy is a total jerk.
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I believe I'd read him the riot act!! Tell him you do not appreciate his suggestions and that you will report him if he says anything out of the way to you again! He should not be allowed to behave this way toward you and your silence may indicate to him that he has a chance! Its a hard predictament to be in but it really needs to be addressed. Good luck and God bless!
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I dont think this kind of post belongs here. Maybe you should find a blog that talks about your issues or a radio show. :crybaby2: :notworthy:
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think about it this way:
If he does get fired, then one less thing for you to worry about
and then what if you don't report it and he does the same thing with another co-worker?
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My suggestion is if he approaches you again, to flat out tell him you are not interested. Don't make it cute or coy. You don't have to be nasty either. Just very plainly, but clearly, tell him you have no interest.
If he's typically socially awkward, it could be he's making a really bad attempt to "fit in", and he doesn't realize his approach is creeping people out. If that's the case, being straight with him might help him adapt (if he's willing to learn/change).
If his intentions were not well intentioned social awkwardness - then if he continues to advance, then go straight to management. Then you can tell them you first directly told him to back off and he didn't honor that. By telling him first, it makes management's job easier so if they find they need to approach him, he can't use the "I didn't know - it was a misunderstanding" defense.
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What he is doing is called sexual harassment, and it's not allowed.
http://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/sexual_harassment.cfm
You can let him know his advances are not welcome, and if that doesn't stop him, talk to your supervisor.
You do NOT have to accept this sort of treatment.
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You mentioned that this guy walks by other women and licks his lips. That in itself should let you know that you are not the only one that he is pushing into corners. This guy knows that his actions are not appreciated. Why are you concerned if he loses his job. He is not worried about anything not even his reputation. Some how you have to take this a step further to protect your reputation before he gets one of the ladies that don't mind being touched to turn the story around. Don't continue to let him think he has some kind of control. He does not and he needs to be stopped dead in his tracks. If he did it once he will do it again. Don't let it go any further.
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Sexual harassment is never acceptable. Please report him so that he stops doing this and realizes that his behavior is wrong. Please take care of yourself.
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I dont think this kind of post belongs here. Maybe you should find a blog that talks about your issues or a radio show. :crybaby2: :notworthy:
Nobody made you respond. This post belongs here as much as any of the other posts in any of the other threads. Ifs an off topic forum to talk about what ever.
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think about it this way:
If he does get fired, then one less thing for you to worry about
and then what if you don't report it and he does the same thing with another co-worker?
I have found out he does do it to other coworkers. They just ignore him and nobody has ever complained. You all are right. I do not have to put up with it. If the others want to then more power to them.
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My suggestion is if he approaches you again, to flat out tell him you are not interested. Don't make it cute or coy. You don't have to be nasty either. Just very plainly, but clearly, tell him you have no interest.
If he's typically socially awkward, it could be he's making a really bad attempt to "fit in", and he doesn't realize his approach is creeping people out. If that's the case, being straight with him might help him adapt (if he's willing to learn/change).
If his intentions were not well intentioned social awkwardness - then if he continues to advance, then go straight to management. Then you can tell them you first directly told him to back off and he didn't honor that. By telling him first, it makes management's job easier so if they find they need to approach him, he can't use the "I didn't know - it was a misunderstanding" defense.
His wife also works there. He is just nasty. He is a pervert and everybody just puts up with it. Ignores him and walks off. But if he is in my department I shouldn't have to walk off. I also shouldn't have to ignore sexual suggestions and comments. And he isn't socially awkward. He knows exactly what he is doing.
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Wait a minute are you serious that this guy works in the same place as his wife. Oh #%@#%$$^%^ $#^#^&$^% you got to be kidding me. Not only is he nasty he is a plain old fool. By any means necessary please take some kind action. But be careful this is truly a recipe for something bad...
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Wait a minute are you serious that this guy works in the same place as his wife. Oh #%@#%$$^%^ $#^#^&$^% you got to be kidding me. Not only is he nasty he is a plain old fool. By any means necessary please take some kind action. But be careful this is truly a recipe for something bad...
Yes. I am serious. :(