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Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: aggie49 on March 05, 2014, 01:37:02 pm
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i get so mad when people do not listen and they keep repeating the same things over and over i just want to smack them
i try not to let it get to me but they do it anyway
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I think you will find in older people the short term memory isn't as sharp as it used to be....so my suggestion is be patient with them.....I see it in myself....
Others that are just bad listeners I would kindly pull them aside and tell them politely.Nothing worse than hearing one rant on and on about something you have heard a million times.Tell them but don't hurt them either.
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That can be frustrating when people continue to repeat themselves. I know I also get annoyed when people continuously talk and do not listen. Maybe next time let the person know that this bothers you!
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i get so mad when people do not listen and they keep repeating the same things over and over i just want to smack them
i try not to let it get to me but they do it anyway
That is two different things. People who don't listen. And people who repeat themselves. Sometimes I think people repeat themselves because they don't have anything else to say and are trying to make conversation. And if it is an older person try not to get upset because they may not realize they are doing it. My Pappaw had Alzheimer's and he would tell you the same thing 35 times in just a short period of time. I always act like it is the first time he had told me. :D
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I have to agree with countrygirl12. Some people just talk to hear themselves talk. They repeat things over and over so people will listen and they will have their attention for a period of time. My mother also had Dementia and repeated the same story over and over. That's a sign of the disease and we always listened as we had never heard the story before.
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I do get frustrated with people who do not listen and beginning to find my patience to get shorter as I get older. I think people who listen and remember are attractive to me.
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That's so irritating
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In my experience, there are some valid situations where people tend to repeat themselves, where if you are aware, you can be of assistance to the person's needs and not be frustrated yourself.
First situation, as others have already noted, are when talking with the elderly. If the individual suffers from dementia, their short term memory is shot - so when retelling stories, they will forget what they've already said and hence repeat themselves often. If this is the situation, be patient, listen to each iteration as if it's the first time you are hearing it. Often the individual is aware they have these memory issues and when people become frustrated, it only makes them feel worse, and the symptoms get worse under stress. They feel bad because they know they must be repeating themselves, but cannot control it, which frustrates them more. By being patient and putting them at ease, they will be less stressed and happy, which won't make the symptoms worse than they already are.
The second situation, and this typically impacts women more than men, is times of overwhelm/stress. When a woman is overwhelmed, by nature, they need to vent the stress. The venting process is often retelling the situation(s) that are causing the stress over and over until the stress is released (mush like venting steam from a pressure cooker). If your friend/family appears to be venting - the best thing to do is simply be a sounding board. Whether they are aware they are venting or not, typically they just need someone to listen to them and empathize - they are not really looking for solutions. Once the venting is over and their emotions level off, the repeating should stop.
Regarding the not listening issue - some people just are not good listeners. If this is the case, and they are a friend or family - let them know how you feel. If they are unaware that they are not reciprocating by listening to you when you need it, sometimes by making them aware of this behavior gives them the opportunity to change their behavior to be a better listener. If, however, they have no interest in improving - just make a mental note that if you need someone to listen to you, this is not the person to go to. Accept them for who they are and find someone else who will be an attentive listener.
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you can definitely find out how much patience you do have or how little patience you have when this happens. not all people who repeat themselves have a mental problem, not even all old people.
I feel that people just don't think before they talk. People don't watch their tongue, myself too.
There are some things people say that can be taken either as a compliment or an insult. It depends on the context of the comment. Just last night, a neighbor was eating with me and repeated her "you look like a baby." comment twice in succession. I told her "if you say that one more time, I will change my seat and sit at another table." I could have said something else; I was trying to keep my cool.
I wonder what would have happened if she said "you look like a baby." and I said "I know what you mean." [it makes no sense that I look like a baby since I am adult.]