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Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: JaniceSW on March 02, 2016, 10:49:00 am

Title: Leaving Your Mate
Post by: JaniceSW on March 02, 2016, 10:49:00 am
What behavior or act would cause you to strongly consider leaving your relationship?  I have an acquaintance who has decided to seek a divorce because she "has been tired of being married too long."
Title: Re: Leaving Your Mate
Post by: bleyd on March 02, 2016, 10:54:49 am
Unless my hubby did something seriously wrong like taking all our money and running away or physically abusing me, I wouldnt leave him.
Title: Re: Leaving Your Mate
Post by: Nancy5 on March 02, 2016, 11:13:27 am
Physical or verbal abuse, adultery, drug or alcohol abuse, gambling problem.  (The last 3 I would stay IF he agreed to treatment).
Title: Re: Leaving Your Mate
Post by: mrisha on March 02, 2016, 11:20:47 am
Being bored means being fed up with a marriage indicates it takes 2 for a marriage to hit a rut.  If the woman wants to save the marriage, talk to her husband to see if he is bored with her also.  Do something that caused you to want that man before marriage.  It takes 2 to make a marriage go wrong. 
Title: Re: Leaving Your Mate
Post by: pmagalei on March 02, 2016, 12:05:19 pm
 Remember that one lady in the scriptures that was taking to Jesus by her accusers? They said she committed adultery? And Jesus said he who doesn't sin must cast the first stone? Well what I don't understand was what about the man that was she was with? The scripture never said anything about the an because it takes 2. So I would say it takes 2 to make things either right or wrong when it comes to any relationship.
Title: Re: Leaving Your Mate
Post by: aflyingmonkey on March 02, 2016, 12:20:35 pm
Cheating...   that would do it for me.
Title: Re: Leaving Your Mate
Post by: ejholt on March 02, 2016, 01:37:43 pm
My husband ran away with a nother woman 43 years ago and left me with 3 children to raise.  But we made it and I had my children  in Church everyone Sunday.  Hope everyone has a good day and may God bless each of you and keep you safe. :)
Title: Re: Leaving Your Mate
Post by: Penwoir on March 02, 2016, 01:52:08 pm
Yes, that does sound an odd reason to get divorced - that someone is tired of being married too long!! People have to realize that when they get married, it's not all roses all of the time and in between all of those special days, are a number of ordinary, forgettable days. Eventually you become companions to each other, which is not a bad thing, and you settle into an unspoken routine which you are both familiar with. This is called marriage! The questions one needs to answer to oneself is, am I happy with the routine? Do I feel fulfilled with the ordinary? Is there somewhere else I'd rather be? My life might not be exciting everyday and I might not expect to be wined and dined every weekend, but I'm totally happy where I'm at. If I died tomorrow, I wouldn't wish for anything different to what I have now.
Title: Re: Leaving Your Mate
Post by: 6265AT99 on March 02, 2016, 02:04:37 pm
Being married too long is certainly not an excuse for divorce.  Marriage is sacred and when a person enters into one, it should be considered a"life-long" commitment, not just on a whim!!  I feel very sorry for those who have an attitude of "too tired to stay in a relationship"!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Leaving Your Mate
Post by: vickysue on March 02, 2016, 03:04:47 pm
I have been through it all with a marriage including him threating me with a gun.  Didn't take me long to leave.  I had children to think about. If a woman puts up with it then she needs help because no woman or man should have to put up with it and in danger their lives. I used to do some work for the battered Womens chapter within the United way. And the stories I could tell.  Some were so battered you could not even tell what they looked like.
Title: Re: Leaving Your Mate
Post by: sherryinutah on March 02, 2016, 03:08:13 pm
Some people stay in an unhappy situation for long enough that they begin to lose their health.  Til Death Do We Part could be motivation for people to kill each other.  When a young person makes a "life long" commitment certain things should be taken into consideration.  If people are no longer bringing out the best in each other they both need other options.  I refuse to judge someone who feels inspired to make a change in their life.

 :heart:

Title: Re: Leaving Your Mate
Post by: Nancy5 on March 02, 2016, 03:15:20 pm
When we got married we did not say 'as long as you both shall live", we choose to say 'as long as we both shall love".  I believe when the love leaves for whatever reason, it's time to leave the marriage. 
Title: Re: Leaving Your Mate
Post by: hitch0403 on March 02, 2016, 03:19:09 pm
Remember that one lady in the scriptures that was taking to Jesus by her accusers? They said she committed adultery? And Jesus said he who doesn't sin must cast the first stone? Well what I don't understand was what about the man that was she was with? The scripture never said anything about the an because it takes 2. So I would say it takes 2 to make things either right or wrong when it comes to any relationship.

The bible makes mention of the woman being stoned,Not the man,correct?Did it ever occur to you Jesus may have seen in the womans heart she was sorry for her sin?If the man was around and was sorry as well i am sure Jesus would have offered forgivness to him as well.That is not mentioned.
Title: Re: Leaving Your Mate
Post by: hitch0403 on March 02, 2016, 03:23:48 pm
Scripturally adultry is grounds for divorce.The other mate tho can forgive if they want that too and save the marriage.

This system has made a mockery of marriage and divorce as well as supporting same sex marriage too!!


Title: Re: Leaving Your Mate
Post by: Skyisbluetoday on March 02, 2016, 03:24:34 pm
Being abusive!
Title: Re: Leaving Your Mate
Post by: BlackSheepNY on March 02, 2016, 03:28:23 pm
What behavior or act would cause you to strongly consider leaving your relationship?  I have an acquaintance who has decided to seek a divorce because she "has been tired of being married too long."

Lying.. because lying leads to distrust.  If you can't trust the one who claims to love you, what's the point?
Title: Re: Leaving Your Mate
Post by: lguzman1 on March 02, 2016, 06:15:15 pm
I left because I lived an abusive marriage.
Title: Re: Leaving Your Mate
Post by: ancmetro on March 02, 2016, 07:08:26 pm

    DOMESTIC VIOLENCE! Many people live alone. Do not get along with certain people...avoid them!
Title: Re: Leaving Your Mate
Post by: camellia0 on March 02, 2016, 08:15:27 pm
For me, I would seek a divorce is my spouse was unfaithful. I take marriage very seriously and I believe that there should always be communication and a fair effort to save any marriage, but with infidelity, I have to say I can't work with that because I'd be wondering all the time if I was being cheated on. For your friend  who is tired of being marriage, that is a silly reason because marriage should be taken seriously.
Title: Re: Leaving Your Mate
Post by: crisstar on March 02, 2016, 10:30:31 pm
These are the three issues that Dr Laura states that are grounds for divorce - (the 3 A's) - addiction, affair, and abuse. I would have to agree with her on that.

Now, leaving a boyfriend/girlfriend is different - the bar is lower because the commitment is not there as it would be in a marriage.

I also believe that not all people should be married especially if you tend to get bored easily with your mates and/or if you're constantly looking for something better. ::)
Title: Re: Leaving Your Mate
Post by: ancmetro on March 03, 2016, 08:55:14 pm

   Legally speaking, there are many grounds for divorce: Absence, desertion, abandonment, cruelty, harassment, verbal and physical abuse, adultery, infidelity...and many others. People have different opinions of what a marriage should. Please, do not kill each other...just leave your mate.
Title: Re: Leaving Your Mate
Post by: snuggleycutejc on March 03, 2016, 10:35:16 pm
I never was friends with my ex's. I was jealous when I hear of my friends actually was friends with their ex's with their loves. Why try to stay in a relationship if one wants to leave, You just are lonely choking feeling sorry for your situation.
Title: Re: Leaving Your Mate
Post by: reiddb on March 04, 2016, 04:33:16 am
I would never seek divorce. My vows were "for better or for worse" and believe me, I've lived through "for worse"! If there is physical abuse, they have to go to jail. Consequence! Otherwise, with the help of the Lord and a quiet, loving spirit, there is a lot that can be worked through. Substance abuse needs help~Teen Challenge is the most effective I know! There is healing for marriage....Jesus!
Title: Re: Leaving Your Mate
Post by: tgreen20 on March 04, 2016, 05:27:16 am
If my husband cheated on me
Title: Re: Leaving Your Mate
Post by: sak4kat on March 04, 2016, 08:05:30 am
Unless my spouse gave me reason to divorce him.  I wouldn't.  Abuse. Physical, mental, emotional, infidelity, theft.  I'm a firm believer in what our God  has planned for us.  And that includes marriage. I find a stale relationship being the reason is unacceptable.