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Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: debidoo on October 04, 2019, 07:26:36 am

Title: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: debidoo on October 04, 2019, 07:26:36 am
I donated a huge roll top desk yesterday to hospice resale shop and it kind of made me sad.  Maybe because my husband and I bought it and he is deceased.  I don't know it was a neat desk but so huge it overwhelmed every room it was put in.  Oh well move on and forward. I keep telling myself it's just stuff and you can't take it with you.
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: nannycoe1 on October 04, 2019, 07:39:08 am
I have a few items that have sentimental valur that I can't part with either
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: linderlizzie on October 04, 2019, 08:27:16 am
My kids keep telling me to get rid of stuff. It's harder than they think it is. Just wait until they become aging parents.  :P

I did have a beautiful rolltop desk that burned during my house fire. The bottom drawer of it still contained my home insurance policy even though the rest of the room was destroyed and the desk was essentially ruined. It was some kind of special feature that the desk had. I was sure glad it did! :party:

But even though I was happy for that, the insurance company investigated me for months thinking I had started my own fire to get the insurance money, which was negligible. It does sound fishy to me too, since the firemen took me in the house immediately after the fire was out and I went right to it, but it was a miracle. :rainbow:


:fish:
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: countrygirl12 on October 04, 2019, 08:31:24 am
That makes sense.  Even if it is just something you have had for a long time.  I think people do get an attachment to things.  And personally I don't judge people for that.  It makes a difference if you give somebody something if they really appreciate it.  Or if it is just like "ehh" and they don't seem to really care.  I have things that belonged to family that have died and it would hurt me to give it away.
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: countrygirl12 on October 04, 2019, 08:35:00 am
My kids keep telling me to get rid of stuff. It's harder than they think it is. Just wait until they become aging parents.  :P

I did have a beautiful rolltop desk that burned during my house fire. The bottom drawer of it still contained my home insurance policy even though the rest of the room was destroyed and the desk was essentially ruined. It was some kind of special feature that the desk had. I was sure glad it did! :party:

But even though I was happy for that, the insurance company investigated me for months thinking I had started my own fire to get the insurance money, which was negligible. It does sound fishy to me too, since the firemen took me in the house immediately after the fire was out and I went right to it, but it was a miracle. :rainbow:


:fish:

What is fishy?  That you knew where the insurance policy was?  I do not know that I have an "insurance policy".  It is online.  I have where I paid the bill for the year.  It is not fishy that you know where that is or that you went straight to something that you would need.  I remember you talking about that before.  It is horrible that you pay premiums for years and then when you need the ins they want to investigate YOU and act like YOU are a criminal.

Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: jkhanson on October 04, 2019, 09:35:08 am
I donated a huge roll top desk yesterday to hospice resale shop and it kind of made me sad.  Maybe because my husband and I bought it and he is deceased.  I don't know it was a neat desk but so huge it overwhelmed every room it was put in.  Oh well move on and forward. I keep telling myself it's just stuff and you can't take it with you.

We down-sized earlier this year.  As I went room to room, I took pictures of items that I knew I couldn't move with us and offered them to our 4 kids.  I asked the kids to answer Yes or No for each item.  Items went to whichever child asked for it.  If there was an item more than one of them wanted, they decided amongst themselves.
Items that no one wanted, we gave away to Donation Centers.
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: UGetPaid on October 04, 2019, 09:42:39 am
My kids keep telling me to get rid of stuff. It's harder than they think it is. Just wait until they become aging parents.  :P


While it is hard to give away things with sentimental value, it is also hard to clean out the house of a newly deceased parent who kept everything.  Things are stuff - it's the people and the relationships that matter.


There are a lot of things that I have that mean something special to me, but I know that if I die and my kids have to deal with them - they would not care anything about many of my things because they don't mean the same thing to them as to me.  That's not an insult or disrespectful to my memory - it is just a matter of perspective.


That does not make it any easier to let go of things and I am not in the least saying that it is silly to hold on to things that mean something special for you. Despite what I said above, some things still do hold sentimental value.
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: alice44 on October 04, 2019, 09:45:23 am
It's hard to get rid of some stuff.  I am in the process of getting rid of stuff and it feels good.  It is easier for me than it is for my husband.  He says "we might need it someday"  I can't stand the clutter  :-\
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: sfreeman8 on October 04, 2019, 12:55:02 pm
I have 2 boys. They aren't interested in anything. I have all my mom's stuff, her furniture and all that she kept of sentimental value of HER mother. I started to collect things to sell but my camera died so I can't take photos of them and that kinda ruined my whole schedule. I did get upset when my son moved into mom's trailer when she moved in with us. They built a shed and moved all her stuff into it BUT never put a door on it so rain and snow got in there. Ruined her "shoe closet" and all her shoes (and they were great and my size, too, and used to borrow them) and her brass bed. I was so upset over that!

The worse thing of all was my stuff. After 28 years, I still haven't found my canning stuff in our shed. When we were building this home, we borrowed a trailer from hubby's job and he paid a friend to move all our stuff in there until hubby built a shed, then moved the stuff in there. I was working full time and a part time job brick and mortar so it would be dark by the time I got home.  I had a kitchen Aid mixer with blender, food processor, and another attachment that I wanted in the house immediately. Never happened.  They broke the glass on two doll hand made doll cabinets that held my 8" dolls I received for Christmas when I was 8 or 9 yo and since they never enclosed the area between roof and shed, birds and mice got in and made nests on my books and my dolls. I kept asking for hubby to bring them down immediately, but he didn't and I couldn't reach the shelf they were on so they went in the garbage.

I have come to the conclusion that men can't hear a wife's requests unless they are nagged. I was told I nag him too much even though I ask once, wait, and ask a month later. He's always so busy and forgets. I understand because he needs to do his work outside and around the house but he also has to do my work, too, since there's a lot I can no longer do. So I try to behave.  :D

I should just have a company come and clean out and sell everything for me. Hubby says if we would have a yard sale and put a $1 tag on everything, I'd make a lot of money. I'm in no condition to do that and he wouldn't be around for it. Sorry, didn't mean to turn this into a book. Guess I feel like yaking a lot today.  :(
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: PGS28 on October 04, 2019, 01:22:58 pm
That's true, but purging is very relieving and cleansing.
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: PGS28 on October 04, 2019, 01:23:45 pm
You don't have to; there's nothing wrong with holding onto sentimental items.

I have a few items that have sentimental valur that I can't part with either
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: metsrock69 on October 04, 2019, 01:52:52 pm
I have some stuff that if I can't sell it online, I donate it to the local charity store so I can get it out of the house. I got rid of a lot of things over the years
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: sherryinutah on October 04, 2019, 04:50:59 pm
I love downsizing because I'm a minimalist but it is a part time job.  There's always something I can throw away, donate or sell.
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: plennis on October 04, 2019, 09:03:05 pm
I have been cleaning out and getting rid of things for about 2 years now, I am doing my house and my parents home.  It is amazing all the stuff that you accumulate over time.   The Veterans sure appreciate us, I give most of the stuff to them, because they will come and pick it up.  We also clean out homes for people who are deceased or downsizing and make quit a bit of money selling the stuff.   Some stuff though is sentimental and I just can not part with yet.
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: debidoo on October 05, 2019, 10:41:04 am
I so appreciate all the responses to this post - everyone's input was so valuable.  It is amazing how much everyone understands or has a different or good way of looking at things. Thanks again you guys are awesome.
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: mrisha on October 05, 2019, 11:43:15 am
I need to get rid of stuff, but I always think if I got rid of it, I would need it later.
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: Tresbn00 on October 09, 2019, 06:11:18 am
After moving into my current house, about nineteen years ago, I vowed to minimize accumulation of junk. I have a need for three pairs of pants, five dress shirts, seven pairs of socks/underwear/t-shirts, a pair of boots, pair of tevas, pair of running shoes, two pairs of shorts, three t-shirts with print, a baseball cap, two watches, two pair of sunglasses, the cross around my neck, two laptop computers, two large computer monitors, a water proof river bag, sleeping bag and my nineteen sixty five jeep. I have been in the process of relocating my parents into an assisted living facility and tha amount of junk that they have accumulated is beyond amazing-bordering on mentally ill. 15,000 toothpicks? 75 tooth brushes? 1,000 bandaids, 80 bars of soap, 60 baseball caps, credit card statements spanning 30 years...took me five days/18 hours per day to get through 50 percent of their stuff. I won't do that to my children.
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: bretay on October 09, 2019, 06:15:04 am
it is very easy to accumalate stuff..we moved one time and didnt realize how much extra stuff we had...i got rid of a lot..we moved back to our old hose and i have accumalated more stuff...time to clean out again...lol
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: potluck6 on October 09, 2019, 10:06:20 am
Like to get rid of stuff. Amazed at how much stuff you aquire in a life time. My mom kept alot old christmas cards from thevsixties. I like to through stuff out.  Had some old toys that i donated y3ars ago but nowbwish kept. Who kniws maybe worth something.
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: cathy37 on October 09, 2019, 12:47:46 pm
I am in the process of moving and am having to downsize.  It is hard to part with some things, but I have to because I'm going from a three bedroom house to a two bedroom apartment.
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: lightningclix on October 09, 2019, 01:34:53 pm
I have a very hard time letting things go now that I am older.  My husband just takes a quick look at it and throws it in the "to go" pile and moves on like nothing!  I go out there after he cleans and I know that things are missing, but just am never quite sure what!
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: plennis on October 09, 2019, 03:33:23 pm
I have been getting rid of stuff seriously for a couple of years now, I though my parents were going to be coming to my home so I was making room.   Instead my sister and her husband sold their place and moved in with them to be closer to all of the rest of the family.  So I have been helping over there get rid of duplicates.  I think the Veterans of American love us, because we have them pick up every couple of weeks.  We also clear and clean up homes that people are downsizing or going into assisted care facilities, so we have them pick up at those homes too.  But you always feel so good when there is a place for everything to go and it just looks so much cleaner.   
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: Kimdud22 on October 09, 2019, 06:23:38 pm
I am the worse. I have so much clothes and random stuff I just need to take a day or 3 and sort through it all.
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: pectacon on October 11, 2019, 03:19:26 pm
I completely understand keeping sentimental things like that. I have relatives whose houses are nothing but an accumulation of sentimentally-kept things though, not only their own but those they've inherited from multiple layers of their deceased relatives, and they keep it because "who else would appreciate it?". I understand and yet I really, really don't want to be in that situation. You have to have your own life too.
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: cateyes1 on October 12, 2019, 05:01:10 am
I donated a huge roll top desk yesterday to hospice resale shop and it kind of made me sad.  Maybe because my husband and I bought it and he is deceased.  I don't know it was a neat desk but so huge it overwhelmed every room it was put in.  Oh well move on and forward. I keep telling myself it's just stuff and you can't take it with you.

I usually take pics of everything like that just to look back at the memory :)....I hope you took a pic !!
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: beatsdrop on November 01, 2019, 02:01:47 pm
I get it. My mom passed last year and we're donating a lot of her clothes and some of her stuff. :( It's very tough.
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: cateyes1 on November 02, 2019, 06:07:27 am
Its been 13 years since my Mom passed and her things are still in her closet. I cant seem to part with them, even though I know thats what she would want :(....my Dads things as well. tough isn't the word :(
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: mrsmere on November 02, 2019, 07:00:02 am
I take a photo of things for the memories and then donate them.  I volunteer at a soup kitchen with a thrift store and I give them things almost weekly.  My hubby wants to keep EVERYTHING which has added to the clutter.  Hope we never have to move because I don't know how many u haul trucks we would need.
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: cateyes1 on November 02, 2019, 07:01:54 am
I take a photo of things for the memories and then donate them.  I volunteer at a soup kitchen with a thrift store and I give them things almost weekly.  My hubby wants to keep EVERYTHING which has added to the clutter.  Hope we never have to move because I don't know how many u haul trucks we would need.

I took pics too but I still cant seem to let go :(
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: mrisha on November 02, 2019, 02:53:44 pm
I have given charities bags and bags of clothes.  I didn't exactly want to give them away.  It looked like I was a hoarder-NOT.  My problem is that when I buy something, I never get rid of other stuff I hadn't worn in years.
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: oldbuddy on November 02, 2019, 03:19:01 pm
It's not the big stuff like the Roll Top Desk we sold after 40 years, but the little obsolete junk that I still hang on to, like parallel printer cables and floppy disks that I no longer even have a way to read.
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: Nancy5 on November 03, 2019, 05:19:36 am
I'm the complete opposite.  After cleaning my one grandparents home (it took 6 of us about 1 week), I decided to get rid of things that I didn't want/use.  The only things I have kept are my dad's navy tags and my grandmother's old record player with records.  it's a crank player with records that are about 1 inch thick and a doll she had as a child.
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: JaniceSW on November 03, 2019, 07:00:01 am
I have slowly started some downsizing simply because it is easier to organize and clean when you don't have "stuff' all over the place.  I am finding that although I sometimes have a little sadness afterwards, it doesn't seem to last long. I have especially made an effort to get rid of all the papers and junk mail that so easily accumulate.  I really like having accomplished that!
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: UGetPaid on November 11, 2019, 06:48:55 am
I take a photo of things for the memories and then donate them.  I volunteer at a soup kitchen with a thrift store and I give them things almost weekly.  My hubby wants to keep EVERYTHING which has added to the clutter.  Hope we never have to move because I don't know how many u haul trucks we would need.

I took pics too but I still cant seem to let go :(


Please don't take this the wrong way, but have you considered seeking out counseling? Speaking to a professional about alternative ways to let go and to get past a traumatic event or personal loss can be helpful. Holding on to material items is how many people tend to cope with that kind of loss. I'm not suggesting it in your case, but that is how a lot of hoarder scenarios start out.


Having an understanding listener who can sympathize with your discomfort in letting go of the things, but who can also offer positive suggestions on other coping mechanisms which have worked for other people in similar situations could possibly go a long way.  It can also help with the desperation many people experience when they feel like they are going at it alone.
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: oldbuddy on November 11, 2019, 07:05:18 am
I take a photo of things for the memories and then donate them.  I volunteer at a soup kitchen with a thrift store and I give them things almost weekly.  My hubby wants to keep EVERYTHING which has added to the clutter.  Hope we never have to move because I don't know how many u haul trucks we would need.

I took pics too but I still cant seem to let go :(


Please don't take this the wrong way, but have you considered seeking out counseling? Speaking to a professional about alternative ways to let go and to get past a traumatic event or personal loss can be helpful. Holding on to material items is how many people tend to cope with that kind of loss. I'm not suggesting it in your case, but that is how a lot of hoarder scenarios start out.


Having an understanding listener who can sympathize with your discomfort in letting go of the things, but who can also offer positive suggestions on other coping mechanisms which have worked for other people in similar situations could possibly go a long way.  It can also help with the desperation many people experience when they feel like they are going at it alone.
Good advice, thanks
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: yisa on November 11, 2019, 11:51:00 am
Yeah It does take effort for me to give up stuff I feel attached to, but i will remind myself that it is for the better.
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: nmbrown863 on November 28, 2019, 06:04:33 am
I am the same. Last night I was going through my babies old clothes trying to get rid of some. My "keep" pile is soooo much bigger than my "get rid of" pile. I am very sentimental. LOL.
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: king4cash on November 28, 2019, 06:37:04 am
I think I am also quilty of hoarding stuffs, my family always, wants me to dump or donate them to create  space...
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: vp44 on November 29, 2019, 11:26:35 am
Sometime you just have to let go. Plus donating is for a good cause.
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: killers2 on November 29, 2019, 12:12:22 pm
This is so true.  I wish I could because I have too much clutter.
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: rghvac69 on November 29, 2019, 01:11:16 pm
I hate getting rid of things, but when I do I feel a lot better.
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: claudegrizzle on November 29, 2019, 03:47:57 pm
I agree that is is so hard to get rid of stuff. We have tons of stuff to go through and each day I take ten to twenty minutes to declutter an area. It is truly helping get rid of things. Whatever is totally useful will be donated to a good cause. I have at least 2 full bags plus and I will keep at it.
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: kleenex40 on November 29, 2019, 08:07:00 pm
Yes its very hard to get ride of stuff some one you love gave you cause every time you look at it it reminds you of them :angel11:
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: nickylanena on November 30, 2019, 12:20:37 am
I tend to save "stuff," too. I guess it's because most things I get have a story or a memory of a good time behind them. It's good to let go, though. :)
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: sdenimandlace1 on November 30, 2019, 04:12:59 am
I have been getting rid of things slow and cleaning out closet and drawers, most stuff goes to the trash.  I have something my daughter has ask for that she will get.
Title: Re: So hard to let go of "stuff"
Post by: beatsdrop on December 01, 2019, 11:56:28 am
I've been selling stuff to Half Price Books. It's making me get rid of stuff easier.