FC Community
Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: klvcaudillo on February 23, 2010, 01:59:14 pm
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I have a friend who is sleeping with a newly married man. PS They are co-workers. I hate trying to give her advice cause I HATE CHEATERS but at the same time she's my friend. What should I tell her?
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What is she asking for advice on? Is she asking if she should continue the affair or not?
Honestly, I think they both are at fault and in the wrong. They should stop if they are concerned. Unless you have an open relationship, marrying someone means you are making a commitment to that one person. I would tell his wife. I hate cheaters. It's so disrespectful and low. He doesn't even have the courage to tell his wife about his other interests. Gross. Why did he get married in the first place? ::)
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She's not sure if she wants to come clean and tell his wife or just end the affair and move on with her life without a confession?
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It takes two to tango. It is BOTH of them that are at fault.
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It's both of their faults, but she should end it and move on. His wife will probably find out her husband is a scum bag soon enough.
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Both of them are at fault but I blame most the woman.She could just say no or ignore the guy.I hate cheaters.
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end it now, move on with your life, he done it 2to her he will do it to you
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It's both of their faults, but she should end it and move on. His wife will probably find out her husband is a scum bag soon enough.
Yep what goes around comes around and when it comes back around its not pretty.
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You're going to have to choose between your friend and your personal beliefs. Base your decision on how well you know your friend. If you think you can persuade her to end the affair, give it a try. If not, and if the situation bothers you too much, maybe its time to seek out another friend with the same moral beliefs as you do.
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ask her what the heck she thinks will stop
him from cheating on her when they get married ::)
this situation is just silly all the way around.
and honestly, i highly doubt their relationship will even
get as far as marriage anyway. i'm assuming its based
on some shallow idea of sex, so, its either ruin the marriage
he has now for this relationship which won't last anyway...
OR, step away from the shame of being the "other" woman.
ask her how she'd feel if this were the other way around?
...at this rate, she won't have to wonder how it would feel;
if that's the type of man she goes for, she'll get to experience
it for herself eventually.
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ITS BOTH OF THEIR FAULTS
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Both at fault unless one person doesnt tell the whole truth - like not being married in the first place or something. In your friends' situation the person should have never gotten married, but she still shouldnt be with him.
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8) Do not judge!...you do not know the reason. Sometimes they are not cheaters...they are doing it for survival, therapy or other reason...as I said before: 'Do not judge!'
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I'm agreeing with the majority here. Both it is! Except the married man has MUCH more to lose in this. He should know better. Anywho before I get too into this and start talking about my issues and things pertaining to this, heyy new emote thingy! ---> :peace:
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Say nothing unless she asks for advice.
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Slap here and call her a *bleep*.
That should shock some sense into her.
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Its fasho not the mistress!!!!! If he would'nt have started the game it would not be an issue. Check the playa!
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I feel a little differently about this. I believe that it is the person in the relationship responsibility not to cheat. Someone on the outside would not have any consideration for your family as long as they are getting what they want. If your friend no longer wants to be in the situation I feel she should just leave it alone. Let the man be the one to confess or live with the dirty secret. Its none of her business because going in knowing he had a wife shows she didnt care then so now that things are not going her way or she isnt satisfied she should make things worse
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They are both at fault, both adults and should know better. Don't want to be in relationship then get out
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Both are at fault, you can't blame one party, because both are purposely and consciously participating in infidelity. Well, that's not true -- if the mistress isn't aware that the man is married (since a lot of times this is hidden from them), then they're not at fault, because they had no idea. But otherwise yeah, definitely both of their faults.
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both are at fault. Plain and simple.
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the husband should be the one to tell his wife.. she should not have to.
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To add more logs to the fire... My friend (we'll call her Mary) was invited to (we'll call him Jim) Jim's wedding. She KNEW he was married. The catch is that they were Best friends and he has been telling Mary that his wife has him cut of (in the bedroom) and that he is almost positive that she is cheating on him! The wife is gone all the time on business trips and girls nights. (She works for a dentist.) Mary wants to know if she should turn Jim in with his wife or just let him be?
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It takes 2 to tango, so yes they both are at fault. Shame on them both. If my husband ever cheated on me I would leave the relationship so quick he would miss it if he blinked. If he wants to be with someone else so be it. Life is too short for playing blame games, besides there are plenty more fish in the sea.
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Nobody's at fault so long as they don't get caught.
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It does take two to have an affair. I believe both know what they are getting themselves into. The married man should know that he is not suppose to be sleeping with other women. The mistress knows he is married so he is off limits!! She should just stop sleeing with the guy and dont tell the wife unless the wife ask!
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To say that just one of them to blame is ridiculous.
Unless the woman didn't know that the man was married, they are both to blame. Period.
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They both are at the fault. She already knows that, You have got some solid advice on here from the other post. No relationship that starts with one being married is started with the right intentions. She is just a way he can fell connected with someone that the everyday life problems are attached too. She needs to think what is best for her cause he sure won't. He is proving that by not thinking of what this will do to his wife
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How would she feel if her husband was sleeping with another woman. I assure you she would hate her and blame her just as much as the lieing *bleep*. Your friend is making herself look pathetic, what does she expect a long term relationship with this guy. Come on if he cheat with her he would cheat on her. My advice is to stop and tell him if he don't tell his wife she will. The wife deserves to know what her husband is up to.
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they are BOTH wrong! he shouldnt cheat on his wife and your friend shouldnt sleep with married man
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It's both of their faults. That's about as low as you can get.
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listen they are both at fault and the only way to solve this is to come clean and stop otherwise it will only bring more unhappiness later and shorten her own life who wants to live a jaded person the pain and embarrassment will only last for a little bit we all know a line is crooked because we know in our hearts what is strait what is wrong is wrong
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Obviously both parties are at fault. But the bigger question is does she feel like she is a real woman cheating with a married man? Because it sounds like she can't get a man that does not have a committment to anyone else. And I think she is a sad person to feel like she is doing somethng special.
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I would say that they are both equally at fault, unless the mistress was unaware of his marriage.
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I would say that they are both equally at fault, unless the mistress was unaware of his marriage.
I Totally agree.
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Yeah. If she knows that he is married then she is just as much at fault as he is.
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I would say that both of them are at fault. Because the husband knows better to go out and cheat on his wife when he is supposed to be committed to his wife, and your friend should know better also knowing he was married(or did not know), to back off and look the other way. If he did not want to be with his wife anymore he should be up front with her and tell her the truth, instead of cheating. Being honest is the main thing. They both are going to do what they want anyway, because once a cheater always a cheater.
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both of them are at fault. they both know what they are doing and if he wanted to sleep with other women he shouldve never got married. she shouldve be with a married guy at all coz u know he makes his wife number one and will never leave her for the mistress. my friend is in the same boat but the wife knows about the girlfriend and they get along or have to get along. the wife had 3 kids with the dude and my friend has 2 and my be pregnant again by him. she told me today that he wont get a divorse and she has been with him for like 5 years now. the wife doesnt live in the same house but the kids are other there all the time. and my friend is living with the dude. i hope she leaves him.. i really hope she does. she should have known better then to be with a married man. i told her time and time again.."what were u thinking? u know he;s not gonna get divorced i'm just telling u the truth."
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Cheating is one of the most horrible things you can do to someone. If you really say this person is your friend, then you should be doing what you can top stop her from cheating. I mean, just imagine if you were in her husband's place. How would you feel?
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I will say is both faults!!... it's so common now in our reality and unacceptable... but for me the only excuse possible will be if both are real in love to each other... otherwise both are unfaithful and disgrace people.
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Both they both knew what it was and either one of em tried to turn into something more than what it is and that's sex for comfort ....been going since man and wife began
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Both their faults. More the mans fault though if hes newely married thats low.
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When you get married you say words to that person and some of that means to respect one another. There is the expectation that neither of you will cheat. So my thought is that the one who is married and cheats is at fault becase you should just walk away from that temptation.
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Both are seriously wrong for their deeds! Why should she ask advice HE'S A MARRIED MAN!!!
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Say nothing unless she asks for advice.
I agree 100%. If this woman's bad behavior disturbs you, maybe you should back off from the friendship until she comes to her senses.
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The husband is at fault..is your friend married ?? Why dosent he break up with his wife or something.. and if your friend gets caught thats up to her if she wants to deal with all the extra drama
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Both. I say both because the husband is wrong for cheating on his wife, and the mistress is wrong if she is aware that she's been dating a married man and she continues to carry on a relationship with him. If the woman doesn't know that she is dating a married man, then it is the husband's fault.
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both i have no respect for people who cheats and hurts people feelings
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BOTH.
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SenoritaLadyBoss- no she's not married, and he's only been married for 2 yrs and has been cheating for 1 1/2yrs. Basically 6mo of marital FAITHFUL bliss.
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They are both at fault. I could understand if she didn't know he was married, but it sounds like she does. I think she should just end it. If she tries to tell his wife, his wife may blame her and she could end up in a lot of trouble. If he won't end it and keeps trying then she should tell his wife and make sure he knows she will tell her. Good luck to your friend.
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Sleeping with a married man is wrong. It's wrong For the married man because he betrayed his love for his wife. And if he has children, his trust and love for his children is down the drain as well. As for the gal that is doing this bad karma, she has no respect for herself. This kind of deed doesn't result in anything good. You can expect to have a peaceful life with this action.
If you find yourself in this situation, get out asap. It's never good and the longer you wait, the deeper the wound.
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Tell her that you are her friend, and that is why you cannot stand quiet, tell her it is her choice, what she does, but she will get hurt in the end, not to mention the family she is tearing apart, What God puts together, let no man put asunder, and that my dear friend is good advice, whether she takes it or not, you were her friend and did what was right.
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Definately both are at fault! So sad that he could only remain faithful for 6 months!
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It is both their fault. He probably started flirting with her, if not. Then
if he is commited to his marriage, he would mention his wife and the affair
would not of started.
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if you ask me I would have to say there both to blame but hey that's between the two of them.
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I find this thread very interesting.
I lost count by the second page how many times members jumped to one conclusion or the other without any information giving to support that conclusion, then judgment was handed down based on that conclusion....wow.
I sure hope I never face a jury "of my peers?".
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I THINK BOTH ARE AT FAULT IF THE MISTRESS KNEW THE MAN WAS MARRIED. BUT I THINK THE MAN IS MORE AT FAULT .IF THE MISTRESS KNEW HE WAS GUILTY SHE IS JUST AS GUILTY AS THE MARRIED MAN. ALTHOUGH THE WIFE SHOULDNT BLAME THE MISTRESS . THIS EXCUSES THE MANS BEHAVIOR. THE MAN IS THE ONE THE WIFE SHOULD BE THE MOST FURIOUS WITH. THE HUSBAND WAS THE ONE WHO BETRAYED HER NOT HIS MISTRESS. :heart:
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The Husband is at fault!
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try not to get involved!
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its both their fault
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It is both of their faults. They shouldn't have started it to begin with. When it ends how are they going to work together?
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Ewwwww, BOTH
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This is a really hard situation. People's lives get messed up from this type of thing. The sad thing is, is that it not only will affect those two who are sleeping together, but the wife, all the family members, friends, anyone who knows the people involved... trust me i'm going through it right now with a family member. It's all out of selfish wants. do what you feel is right for you. get involved if you think it's necessary, stay away if you think that's right... i think it's always better to act however. and definitely BOTH of them are in the wrong. the mistress though kills me... who wants to sleep with a man who is going home to his wife right after probably sleeping with her and loving her... it's like he's cheating on the mistress as well.. find someone single! there's plenty out there!!!!
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The married person is mainly at fault, at least the single party gets the fun without the responsibility!
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It depends if the married man has children or not and if the married man actually sees a future with the mistress