FC Community
Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: tashamjoy on May 04, 2012, 10:37:19 pm
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I find this so hard because I joke around not even about anything flirty or anything just normal stuff and guys always think u r flirting or is this just me?
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Maybe you're just super conceited and YOU think every guy wants you?? Maybe they are also just being nice.
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Maybe you're just super conceited and YOU think every guy wants you?? Maybe they are also just being nice.
There are other possibilities (and variations on them) ... she could be smoking-hot and some guys were operating under the standard male procedure of 'if she talks to me, there's a chance' or, she merely believes she's that good-looking, (and isn't), and other speculative guesses.
Of course, she mentioned "joking around", (sans details of what that consisted of exactly), and since one person's "joking around" may be another's 'she wants me bad' flirt, this could mean anything in between as well.
I'd prefer to look at the entirety of the evidence and judge from that rather than assume the inherently condescending attitude of someone coming across like 'lucifer's gift to men', (as implied from the thread title which 'siggy' noticed). Granted, we'd likely to get only a one-sided perspective, (which is inherently skewed), and no picture as evidence.
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And vice versa. Just because we are nice, funny and/or good looking...or show the slightest bit of interest in a person's life it becomes an invite! It seems, at least in my surroundings, that self esteem/insecurity problems run rampant. The wedding ring on my finger seems to be a neon light for 'just this once' invitationals! It is hard to go out to bars, without my wife, because the drunker people get the bolder their advances. It is sad, and somewhat comical, at the same time. I suppose some people would say that I am blessed to have people interested but it gets tiring especially if you have said 'no' on several occasions.
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Some people take things the way they want even if it's not the way it was intended. I've treat all my males friends the same way and some take it as just being friendly and others have thought I was flirting and interested. I also know some girls that think every guy that is friendly to them is interested
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I am not conceited honestly frankly i dont know why guys like me and 99% dont its just that a lot of times when i am nice and normal like i would be with anyone people tell me hey he likes u idk maybe people are just messing with me idk
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I treat everyone as I want to be treated. With respect. If there is something I don't like about someone or if I don't approve of there actions I typically turn my cheek and don't say a word. I have been in situations before where people get the wrong idea...either than I'm interested in them or than I'm conceited. People that know me have told me that my personality can be misread either way. I don't want to be giving people the wrong idea but I am who I am and that's not going to change.
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OMG! Guys dont get me wrong, some of you are just like that, we cant.make a joke because we are flirting, we cant laugh at a joke because we are flirting, we cant even say hi, because were flirting, common guys
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As long as they are not disrespectful to you enjoy their company. Men who are heterosexual like women. All they are saying to you is that they find you attractive. Do not ballbust. Just make it clear that you are just looking for friendship in the beginning and you shouldn't have a problem. If you act silly they will take you for a bimbo and hit on you for sex. Carry yourself decently and they will respect you. :peace:
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I am not conceited honestly frankly i dont know why guys like me and 99% dont its just that a lot of times when i am nice and normal like i would be with anyone people tell me hey he likes u idk maybe people are just messing with me idk
Are you in middle school? b/c the "omg he likes you" sounds like something that people stop saying after 8th grade.
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OMG! Guys dont get me wrong, some of you are just like that, we cant.make a joke because we are flirting, we cant laugh at a joke because we are flirting, we cant even say hi, because were flirting, common guys
In parallel with that line of assumption; a guy cannot say hello without a girl thinking he's hitting on her? If a girl makes a joke and she's not flirting, should the guy assume she justs wants indirect access to his cash instead? This is the kind of thing jumping to conclusions can lead to, (or worse), so pull your slip down; your immaturity is showing.
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Whenever you are in a social setting, people tend to talk with others they are interested in in some way, whether it be talking between sexes or within the same sex: either by having common interests, common acquaintances, common experiences, or just plain physical attraction. You probably wouldn't be joking around the same way with some drugged-up loser with meth. scarring and stinks of vomit and urine. So if you define "flirting" as communication to show interest in another person, the mere act of talking to a person is a mild form of flirting. This is even more so when you and the person you are talking to are single (or perceived to be so), young, and of the right age group and sexual orientation. All relationships start out with just being interested in a person and then grows from there as you learn more and more about that person. And as others have said, this works both ways.... I've witnessed when a waitress at a local bar was commenting on the "eye-candy" of the guys setting up their band equipment... When the guy came up to that waitress to order a drink, she immediately got giggly and flirty until he finally had to say that he better get back tot he stage or his wife will begin thinking he was flirting.
I also think it depends on how you are talking... Since you are "joking around" with a guy, you've already established some type of familiarity with the guy; you wouldn't joke around with some random guy on the street (unless you were purposefully flirting with him). So again, the more personal and intimate you get with a person, the more they think you are interested in them. Additionally, some people tend to be more touchy-feely when they are talking; a hand on the other's arm, giving hugs as greeting or when leaving, etc. That physical contact can sometime be construed as being flirty, even if you'd do the same contact with all of your friends (eg. a woman that gives hugs to all of her friends, whether male or female; or the guy that always rests his hand on the person's shoulder, again no matter the sex of the person he's talking to). Finally, there may be non-verbal cues that you are giving off that may be read as being flirty, even if they are innocent. A girl with long hair that flips it back could be giving a non-verbal clue of her interest in the guy she's talking with, or it could just be that her hair was getting in the way.
So I disagree with the statement "just because we girls are friendly doesn't mean we like you", because by the mere fact of you talking with us indicates that there is some type of interest in us, that you like in us in some way. And if a guy is also interested in you, it's probable that he may make further moves just to see how far your interest goes. Eventually you may have to say something that shows you like him as a friend, but do not want to take it any further than that. And the flip-side is true (as well as the other flip-side in which talking with someone of the same sex that happens to be homosexual may try to see how far your interest goes).
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::)
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im with onlinedou2 lol, ::)
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Whenever you are in a social setting, people tend to talk with others they are interested in in some way, whether it be talking between sexes or within the same sex: either by having common interests, common acquaintances, common experiences, or just plain physical attraction. You probably wouldn't be joking around the same way with some drugged-up loser with meth. scarring and stinks of vomit and urine. So if you define "flirting" as communication to show interest in another person, the mere act of talking to a person is a mild form of flirting. This is even more so when you and the person you are talking to are single (or perceived to be so), young, and of the right age group and sexual orientation. All relationships start out with just being interested in a person and then grows from there as you learn more and more about that person. And as others have said, this works both ways.... I've witnessed when a waitress at a local bar was commenting on the "eye-candy" of the guys setting up their band equipment... When the guy came up to that waitress to order a drink, she immediately got giggly and flirty until he finally had to say that he better get back tot he stage or his wife will begin thinking he was flirting.
I also think it depends on how you are talking... Since you are "joking around" with a guy, you've already established some type of familiarity with the guy; you wouldn't joke around with some random guy on the street (unless you were purposefully flirting with him). So again, the more personal and intimate you get with a person, the more they think you are interested in them. Additionally, some people tend to be more touchy-feely when they are talking; a hand on the other's arm, giving hugs as greeting or when leaving, etc. That physical contact can sometime be construed as being flirty, even if you'd do the same contact with all of your friends (eg. a woman that gives hugs to all of her friends, whether male or female; or the guy that always rests his hand on the person's shoulder, again no matter the sex of the person he's talking to). Finally, there may be non-verbal cues that you are giving off that may be read as being flirty, even if they are innocent. A girl with long hair that flips it back could be giving a non-verbal clue of her interest in the guy she's talking with, or it could just be that her hair was getting in the way.
So I disagree with the statement "just because we girls are friendly doesn't mean we like you", because by the mere fact of you talking with us indicates that there is some type of interest in us, that you like in us in some way. And if a guy is also interested in you, it's probable that he may make further moves just to see how far your interest goes. Eventually you may have to say something that shows you like him as a friend, but do not want to take it any further than that. And the flip-side is true (as well as the other flip-side in which talking with someone of the same sex that happens to be homosexual may try to see how far your interest goes).
WOW....Steph....ur tha quiet type eh? could you maybe....uhhhh.....not like me quite so much all at once?
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No it's not just you, not only do they think you're flirting but the people around think the same. I have brothers and get along with them so have no problems comunicating with guys, why does that have to be an ugly thing?
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Man, WOMEN BE SHOPPIN'!
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"just because we girls are friendly doesnt mean we like you!!" that is one hard lesson to learn :BangHead:
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"just because we girls are friendly doesnt mean we like you!!" that is one hard lesson to learn :BangHead:
Strangely enough, just because those same girls seem to be unfriendly, it doesn't mean they aren't playing some obscure game of feigned aloofness in some arcane tactic of coming on to a guy, (under the aforementioned arcane idea of not seeming "too forward"). Bottomline; you can never tell because such a process is not amiable to logic.
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So if a girl is friendly that means we don't like you or because a girl is friendly has no indication about whether she like you or not. Dayum no wonder I stay confused.
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So if a girl is friendly that means we don't like you or because a girl is friendly has no indication about whether she like you or not. Dayum no wonder I stay confused.
Generally-speaking, there are more girls/woman who employ a vague variation of logic to 'mating rituals' which isn't technically logical. Once it's understood that there really isn't much logic involved in such ritual 'dances', one can lead, follow or get the hel out of the way.
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No tashamjoy, it isn't just you. We guys can be pretty shallow at times and certainly take generic things and make them more "sexual" than they should be... (or maybe it's just me ;)!)
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even though it is perfectly normal to be friendly with the opposite sex, some of you need to take in consideration your pheromones. Did you workout or something before you found yourself in such a situation? Also where are you? if you talking to someone who is working and just happens to be attractive, then chances are that person is just being nice because it is expected. Party situations just call for flirtation but keep in mind if people dance or are intoxicated then let it be. Also smelling good is going to attract attention, you do not have to smell terrible but smelling too good is going to give certain people certain ideas. if that doesn't work for ya, then just make garlic an integral part of your daily diet, you'll smell like those who eat it and chances are they are not going to bother you.
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... if that doesn't work for ya, then just make garlic an integral part of your daily diet, you'll smell like those who eat it and chances are they are not going to bother you.
Although that's a common myth about 'vampires', they may nevertheless invite their 'prey' out for a "steak" through the heart, (a cross or 'holy water' isn't likely to stop some persistent people either ... "Baby, you've got ticks? No problem, I have matches - let's go!").
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I find this so hard because I joke around not even about anything flirty or anything just normal stuff and guys always think u r flirting or is this just me?
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I agree completely some guys take it way to far. Your just being social and they get all gross on you. I get so sick of that "how are you doing today" doesn't mean "jump in my pants"
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I find this so hard because I joke around not even about anything flirty or anything just normal stuff and guys always think u r flirting or is this just me?
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I agree completely some guys take it way to far. Your just being social and they get all gross on you. I get so sick of that "how are you doing today" doesn't mean "jump in my pants"
Jeez, you want men to be confidant and aggressive or not? So indecisive.
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I find this so hard because I joke around not even about anything flirty or anything just normal stuff and guys always think u r flirting or is this just me?
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I agree completely some guys take it way to far. Your just being social and they get all gross on you. I get so sick of that "how are you doing today" doesn't mean "jump in my pants"
Jeez, you want men to be confidant and aggressive or not? So indecisive.
Consider this and you may be able to determine why logic doesn't apply when it comes to some women; they don't want 'every' guy hitting on them, they only want specific guys to do so. Much the same methods are employed in such womens' "ritual mating dances" as with purely non-flirtatious 'social interactions' as in flirting, (although they may sometimes throw in the giggling/hair-toss/asking-inane-questions thing or not to emphasize that they're in flirt-mode). The guy is supposed to recognize the subtle differences and act accordingly. This methodology is intended to 'make sense' to such women whether it does or not to men.
hth