FC Community
Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: mildreddavis1 on June 22, 2012, 05:55:44 am
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:binkybaby: I am starting to see the GOOD and the BAD in regards to having a baby past the age of 40. I am now 45 years old and I have a 3 year old son. He is healthy and things are wonderful at home, THE problem is, people keep thinking he is my grand-son. My mother gave birth to be when she was 43 years old and I remember growing up and people would ask her if I was her grand-daughter and I still remember the disappointed look on her face when she would say, "No, this is my daughter."
I think she was disappointed that people think having babies is just for young people. :notworthy:
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I love my kids. and really dont let what people say get u down at least u are a mom and u love your kid that is all that matters and maybe if some people waited untell they were older then there owuldnt be so many screwed up people in the world
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Mildred, my mother had the same problem. She had a child at 37, and around that time decided to let her hair grow out it's natural color--salt and peppered gray. That lasted about 6 months until people started calling her "grandma." This same child, who is 10 years younger that me, is constantly mistaken for MY daughter instead of my sister! What can you do.
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Having a baby after the age of 40 is something I would never do, but to each their own.
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My mom had her first child when she was 19, a lot in between, me (and a twin) when she was 37, a younger brother the next year, and my youngest brother at 41 (and there was supposed to be another the next year, but the doctor convinced her to get her tubes tied).
My dad is 17 years older than my mom.
People apparently thought that my mom was covering for my oldest sister (who was 18 at the time. She had her first at 19) when she had me (plus twin); that our sister must have gotten pregnant and didn't want people to know. lol
To be fair, there were a few "gap years" between the oldest bunch of my siblings and my birth.
That's not so bad though. When I was older, my middle sister was CONSTANTLY getting mistaken for my mom and she's only 8 years older than me!
Everyone also constantly thinks she's the oldest girl, even though there's a 10 year age gap there.
Poor her, I do think that bothers her a bit. Though she jokes she never had trouble getting into bars.
My brother's (now ex) wife was negative about having children "too old". I can't remember exactly when that was, but I think it was 30 (I used to have a "plan" as a child - that I wouldn't have kids till after college and a few years on the job - which worked out to after 30, so I'm fairly sure that was her 'stopping' age).
It was kinda funny at the time, because her hypothetical situation didn't really apply to me, because she was older than my brother (her hypothetical situation for some reason focused on my dad), and because no one had a high opinion of her parenting skills anyways - and funnier now because her latest kid was born when she was 35.
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Well dang how old do you look?
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I think being misinterpreted as a grandmother is the least of your concerns when trying to have children at an older age. There is a lot of risk factors when you turn 40 and older including a heightened risk of health issues for your child. Thanksfully your child is healthy.
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you're only getting the grandma comments
because you could be the parent of a teenager,
and we all know that teenagers hand over their young
to the grandparents to raise... am i wrong? :P
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you're only getting the grandma comments
because you could be the parent of a teenager,
and we all know that teenagers hand over their young
to the grandparents to raise... am i wrong? :P
... But if you have a child when you're 20 and your child has their first when they're 20, then you're a grandparent at age 40. With great-grand-kids starting at 60 and great-great-grand-kids at 80 that's five generations, no teen pregnancy needed.
Also, I seem to recall a quote, something about it taking a village to raise a child...
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I can simply tell you this, who cares what people think? My wife just had a baby 8 months ago at 41. and we could care less what anyone thinks of it. We both love her with all our hearts.
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Having a baby at any age is a blessing. :angel12:
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I had all my babies young. I was 19 when i had my first and 24 when i had my last. If you are able to take care of a child when you are older. Go for it!!! I dont see a problem with it. Who cares what other people think. I wouldnt let it get to you. :)
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If you are capable go for it!!!!!
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I am going to sound very mean for a minute so please excuse me. Who died and made them the boss of your life and how dare they judge your life choices. A woman should be made to feel nothing but pride and joy and gratitude to God at the birth of a child. Let's face it most women cannot even give birth past a certain age. Be proud to have become a mother at any age and FYI a lot of women are making that choice today and there will be a lot of well nurtured people in the world because of it. An emotionally mature mother can raise a mature human being. I don't know you but I think you made a great choice. here is something you can give to those nay sayers :bootyshake: :bootyshake: :bootyshake:
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Yea who cares what people think, let them talk. 40 something is still a young age and it is not that old what people make it out to be. So it is nothing wrong with it, it is a blessing to have a baby. But I don't think I would want to have one at that age though.
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It's a blessing to have a child at any age. Many are not that lucky. You have a gift and it is your child, keep doing what you're doing and not what people think.
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Having a healthy baby at any age is wonderful, and 40 is not as old as it use to be. Some of the most beautiful people on earth are over 40. You will look back at this age one day and wish you were 40 again lol Enjoy your child and don't let what others think get to you.
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Having a baby after the age of 40 is something I would never do, but to each their own.
Well I did not PLAN to have the baby past 40. At the time I had 23 Year old son and did not even think I could get pregnant anymore. I USED to say the same thing "I AM NOT HAVING A BABY PAST 35 YEARS OLD" But I guess I had NO CONTROL over this and I WAS NOT HAVING AN ABORTION.
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I am going to sound very mean for a minute so please excuse me. Who died and made them the boss of your life and how dare they judge your life choices. A woman should be made to feel nothing but pride and joy and gratitude to God at the birth of a child. Let's face it most women cannot even give birth past a certain age. Be proud to have become a mother at any age and FYI a lot of women are making that choice today and there will be a lot of well nurtured people in the world because of it. An emotionally mature mother can raise a mature human being. I don't know you but I think you made a great choice. here is something you can give to those nay sayers :bootyshake: :bootyshake: :bootyshake:
Wow I actually LOVED your comment. I am ok with people saying I was selfish to have a baby past 40 years old BUT I did not FORCE it to happen, I was SURPRISED when the doctor said the pain in my stomach was indeed a baby.
He is three years old know with NO MENTAL issues. Uses an iPad to watch ABC videos and has his OWN laptop to type ABCs and 123s. So happy he is here!!
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Who cares what people say. All that matters is your child is happy and healthy.
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I had our youngest daughter at age 40 and she has been a true blessing to us. My husband has had gray hair for a very long time but I don't have gray and have always looked younger than I am. But, even so people mistook us as her grandparents and we are 10 years older than most of her friends' parents. It has never caused her a problem either.
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My mother had my youngest brother at 53. He is now 20 years old. I have nephews and nieces the same age as him. In fact when he was born we had a nephew that was born 3 days prior. People who did not know my parents probably assumed that he was indeed their grandchild. My mother was 42 when my twin sister and I were born. We had siblings that were 18, 17 and 16 years older than us. On occasion people would ask if my sister (17 yrs older) was my mother or one of my SIL's when I was young and they took me somewhere people would assume they were my mother.
I had a step nephew who was 2 years younger than me growing up, and a step niece who was 3 years younger than me. My younger brother had nephews and nieces the same age as him, but that was just normal to us.
I don't think there was a big downfall having older parents though. And I loved having older siblings who spoiled me, and I know my younger brother still very well benefits from that today even though he's 20 and has a child of his own and another one on the way.
That is so interesting and I don't know how you ever kept relationships straight.
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It really depends on the person and their situation, but if you're one who feels capable to take on having a child at that point, more power to you! I have a family member who had her 2nd child at the age of 42 and I just can't imagine their family without that little firecracker. Not everyone can do what you're doing!
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Not me - Been there - Done That!!!
Too many other things to do and time to appreciate the kids I had.
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Congrats to you! The people who are important to you know the truth -- ______ the rest.
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I know...my mother-in-law started having kids near 30 and had 7 (with 3 miscarriages)....she is 56 and her youngest son is 15...yep, she does look like his grandma. But she's not. It just is what it is.
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You are only as old as you think you are, so I say go for it and don't let what other people have to say or think bother you.
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I'm infertile so I'm incredibly jealous of anyone who can have a baby. Don't feel bad about it. You have no idea how lucky you are.
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awsome