FC Community
Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: MichelleHW101 on June 28, 2012, 01:53:08 pm
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My younger brother’s best friend just recently purposed to his girlfriend. I told my brother, “if he didn’t do by now then she should leave him.” After all they’ve been dating for seven years with the last five of those years living together. I believe if someone is dating that long and hasn’t done it yet I don’t think they ever will. My younger brother purposed to his girlfriend after dating her for only six months and shortly moved in together after that. This October will be their fourth year anniversary and they have a two year old. It clearly is working for them, but personally I think six months is too soon. My older brother dated his girlfriend for a whole year after actually being friends with her for a couple years before that. I personally think 3 to 5 years at tops is the safest bet. If you don’t know you wanna spend the rest of your life with someone after five years of getting to know them then I doubt you ever will. What do you think?
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I think it's a personal choice and not something that "should" be done. People marry or don't marry for a lot of reasons and I think the divorce rate speaks for itself. Saying someone "should" get married is ludicrous and old-fashioned. My honey and i have been together 17 years with no plans to get married. But guess what, we are happier than a lot of our married friends. We've also seen a lot of our friends get married and divorced. We still act like two teenagers in love and I'm 40 and he's 51 years old.
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By the way, I think you can choose to "spend the rest of your life with someone" without getting engaged.
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I totally agree! Even though I am married myself. I was divorced over 20 years and vowed never to remarry! But; my husband who is over 65 and never married, made it seem so important to him! I have never regretted a moment!
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I think it's a personal choice, and if they both agree. I would spend some time with a person first, before getting married. :wave:
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It's up to you. However it is VERY crucial to get to know the person as much as you can before you decide to marry them.
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I think it is a personal choice as well as a choice that age matters. I've seen people stay in a relationship for years without getting engaged. In my experience these individuals were still considered young. Certainly family and friends pictured them getting married one day, but with school and work just beginning no one was going to rush them.
I also think people are scared to be another divorced couple, and if that is an issue in either's mind, the couple should wait.
I do agree that sometimes, if the couple doesn't discuss their feelings of marriage or legalized unions, that after a period of time, one should move on. I read once that if after 2 years you are not sure if you'd want to be with a person for the rest of your life to start dating other people again. 3 years might be okay, but I think that just depends on if a person wants to get married & have kids etc. I'm 28, if I started dating someone and 3 years later still wasn't married and had to start the process again...the kid option is going to get harder.
For me, I dated my husband for about 6 months before we got engaged. We just knew we were going to be together and the time didn't matter.
Overall, if a girl wants to get married, she should be honest about it with the guy. If he doesn't, decide what's more important....being married or being with him.
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Personally, I think it should be based totally on what you think is long enough or too long, or whatever. If you really love someone it doesn't really make a difference. However, if you are with someone and you think that they should have proposed to you by now then you should talk to them about it. Marriage shouldn't be something that you are afraid of talking about with the person you love, and if they are scared or uneasy, don't be mad, that is a normal reaction for some people to feel. My husband proposed to me after 3 months of dating, and I was terrified. I said yes, then no, then I don't know, then yes again. I had been married before, and I didn't want to rush into anything. I am happy that I did though. We get along great, and I can talk to him about anything. We don't have any secrets between us, and we don't hide anything that we are thinking or feeling from each other. We both understand that it is easier to just say what you feel even if it hurts the other person for a second, instead of holding it in and causing issues later. The amount of time that you should wait is the amount of time that is comfortable for you.
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Definitely a personal choice. However, after a number of years together with one or both not willing to take the next step we can assume the indecisiveness is for a reason.
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I think that it is a personal choice. I have friends that got married after less than a yr and are still going strong.
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Definitely a personal choice. However, after a number of years together with one or both not willing to take the next step we can assume the indecisiveness is for a reason.
Sometimes people decide not to get married for various reasons. Other people may view it as indecisiveness but really, it IS a decision. It all depends on how well the couple communicates. People are judgmental of what they see and think goes on in a relationship, but there's always more to the story.
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with most people I know they are married with in 6 weeks to 6 months. I belive some people just dosent belive in marriage anymore. I dated my and lived with my husband 2 years before we married but that is me my fist husband was a year and my second was 3 months this one 2 years so it really is up to the person.
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My fiancee and I got engaged after only dating for a about a month. He was separated from his first wife for almost a year when we got together. We have been together for almost 16 years now. We have never been legally married; still engaged, but since it has been so long, we say we're married. It's just not on paper and have never forked over the tons of money for a ceremony and reception.
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I was worried my son was getting married too soon. They hadn't even know each other a year when they got married. She lived in OK, and he lived in TX. Most of their time together was on the phone. (should have seen those bills. :) Anyway, in August, they will be married 14 years so you can't ever tell.
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It really all depends. Not everyone is out to get married. If both involved don't want to get married, that's their choice. Now, if one wants to get married and the other doesn't, then I would recommend the one wishing to get married go find another person after so many years. If someone doesn't want to get married, it isn't right to sorta force them into it. However, you really can't tell time wise cause it varies from person to person in my opinion.
As far as how long before getting married, again that depends, but I would recommend at least 2+ years. Generally that's enough time for people to sorta let their guard down and let the other see them for who they truly are.
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I don't think there is no set time! It depends on the couple! :angel11:
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It depends. A friend of mine has a 7 years rule. He thinks you need to take 7 years to get to know the person before poping the question. However, the girl he is with hate it. So many precious time got wasted since they live far away from each other and could hardly see each other.
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It’s up to the individual. A couple can date or cohabit together for as long as they want. Some prefer to take it slow. We cannot live their life for them. As long as they know deep down in their heart they know this is what they want and are emotionally ready for the long term commitment, then tie the knot.
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For me, I would get to know as much as I can about the person I want to get engaged with. To get engaged is something very serious and important to take lightly. Take it easy and really don't do it until you are curtain that you love this person and that you are willing to conpromise in certain things. Good luck if you are consedering in getting engaged. :wave:
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Meh, Just date for 3 months then have a 5 year engagement. Problem solved. =-P
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I don't think you really need to get married just live together if something happens in the future then no problem you just leave.
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People should wait until God tells them they should get married :angel11. Marriage isn't easy and it really hurts when people just jump into marriage just because that's why the divorce rate is so high. People are just rushing into marriage. :thumbsup: :sad1:
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I think the biggest mistake people can make is thinking that you "have to" propose to someone because the pressure is on.
You propose because you can't stand the thought of not spending the next 50+ years of your life without them!
The number of years you have been together is just that- a NUMBER.
More emphasis should be put on the type of relationship you have!!!
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I don't think there's a time limit on when a couple should get engaged. Now, after 7 years if there is no formal committment and one party wants one then it's obviously not going to happen so the person that wants more should seek it elsewhere. I definitely don't think 6 months is too soon to get engaged though.
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I agree with many of you on several points. An engagement and marriage is between 2 people. And everyone's circumstances are different and unique. Divorce rates are insane and blended families are the norm. It's a big life changing event that can make or potential break a couple in more than one way. Financial recovery from a divorce is nothing to take lightly and although not pleasant to think about it is real and that's what one needs to face when making the choice of an engagement... Reality! Although the rings and the "I do's" are volatile a marriage goes much deeper.
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it all depends on each person i dated for 2 yrs before i got married now some other engaged right away i feel it up to each person and only they can make that call and there one spending each day with each other i feel await at least 1 yr but agin thats me and how i feel. :heart:
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I would say at least two years or longer.Sometimes couples make mistakes by getting engaged too soon.
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I think that a couple should date for at least a year. Then the couple should move in together for a year and begin mixing their assets...checking accounts/savings accounts etc. At that point they should become engaged and get married one year later. All of a person's annoying habits come out when you live with them and you can find out what a control freak you might be marrying once expenses and income are shared. I love my wife dearly but didn't think we were going to make it through our first year because of the finances and questions that go with them.
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i would think that they should be dating for a couple of years before getting engaged. and within those few years they should also live together so they know what they're getting in to.
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I think you should take your time if you can. Divorce is an awful thing and custody battles are nightmares. So a few years or more would be good to wait. I personally do not think I would ever do it again.
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The choice to marry or not to marry should be decided on by the couple. They say age is nothing but a number and so is time.
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You can't put a timeline on these types of things. When it's right for you, you'll know, whether that's six months or six years. You're not necessarily saving yourself from divorce if you wait longer.
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ITS A PERSONAL CHOICE. I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 16 YEARS. MY HUSBAND AND I WERE TOGETHER FOR 4 MONTHS AND WE MOVED IN TOGETHER. I WOULD NEVER CHANGE ANYTHING.
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As consenting adults as long as they feel necessary.
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I would say 1 year, you should get to know someone before marrying them!! I personally think a year is enough time to get to know a individual and find out if you want to live with them the rest of your life. I think these days Marriage has become cheap!! Either people get a divorce after just a few months or they don't get married and live together and have children.