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Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: Bode1104 on May 26, 2009, 03:52:46 am
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so.....what do you do if you found out she/he cheated on you?? forgive and forget? pack your things and leave?get revenge? or snap?
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I would probably go completely nuts and toss my husband out the door. I don't know that I'd be able to forgive.
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Couple should not be cheated on each and other. If you can't leave with a person instead of cheating on him/her, just give up.
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Couples should not cheat on each other if you are true with your mate don't cheat.
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I'd pobably snap, get even, then leave!!! LOL...I would't get even, but I would be MAD AS HELL!!! I think if you're with someone, that's who you should be with. Cheating is pointless, and it creates one lie after another. IF you're with someone, and you feel an attraction to someon else, and yo KNOW it can go further than just that attraction, BE HONEST wth your partner...you'll be surprised of the outcome. He/She may be cool with it, wanna join you, or anything....TRUST ME!
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so.....what do you do if you found out she/he cheated on you?? forgive and forget? pack your things and leave?get revenge? or snap?
i would probably kick her out the door and look for someone else that won't cheat on me. i've been there a couple times in my life with cheaters and i've always done the same thing everytime. my moto is... "Once A Cheater, Always A Cheater!"
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They don't even deserve to be talked to if they cheated. Break-up immediately and maybe someday talk to again.
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I would leave personally.If a man/woman doesn't know your worth then they are not really worth being with or stressing over.I believe in Karma.What he/she does to you will be done to them.Just let time do it's thing.I would proudly hold my head up and walk.When a person cheats on you, I think that just shows the lack of respect that they have for you.I always let them know that if they ever decided they wanted to be with someone else then just respect me enough to let me know and handle things like an adult should.I would respect someone more for breaking up with me before cheating rather than to be with them while they are cheating only to come home and smile in my face after your face has been all up in another womans face.I don't do well with people insulting my intelligence or "trying" to play me for a fool when they only played themselves....Just my thought :wave:
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Been there, too, but I made him leave and told him not to let the door hit him in the :bootyshake:
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I would more than likely pack up and leave. I really love my husband, but once people cheat, there is a tendency to repeat the offense. I am not a revenge type of person - I tended to get really depressed when it happened in my youth.
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For me it depends on if it was an ongoing affair that I never knew about or if it was 10 minutes one night after we had fought and he immediately told me what he'd done and seemed distraught about it. Neither one would be anywhere close to easy to forgive (meaning go on together). However if I found out about a planned affair even if he did seem remorseful, it would be extremely hard to do anything but divorce.
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Kind of depends on the situation. There are some instances that MIGHT be forgivable. Those instances would be very unusual situations, though!! For the most part I'd tell my guy to take a hike!!!
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i dont know what all you guys have against cheaters. they bring all the fun and drama into boring relationships! because of them they make you stronger and sometimes make you give up on women or men and make you go gay but its all right! stealing other people girlfriends is actually kind of fun once you get the hang of it! give it a try all u guys good luck! :thumbsup:
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Meh, just leave.
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me too :wave: :thumbsup:
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I don't know how I would react if I found out my husband cheated on me. We have been together for a long time (married almost 12 years) and have 3 children. I think it is different when you have children involved. I probably would kick him out of the house if I found out. I'm not sure though.
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As much as I would love to stay with my boyfriend forever, especially for the sake of our son... I am not the kind of person that can get over cheating. If he cheats on me, it's bye-bye daddy....
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Had it happen to me and it's hard to forgive but it's hard to be mad at someone you love/ed for forever. You have to suck it up at some point and get over it.
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urrgss cheating no good you should tell your spouse that you're tiredd
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so.....what do you do if you found out she/he cheated on you?? forgive and forget? pack your things and leave?get revenge? or snap?
There shouldn't be any cheating, if a couple has to do that, they should not be together.
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IF U TRUELLY LOVE THT PERSONAND YALL RELATIONSHIP WAS TIGHT. I THINK U SHOULD FORGIVE HIM/HER FOR WHAT THEY DID. BUT THERE WOULD BE NEW RULE N YALL RELATIONSHIP. ;D
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If I found out someone cheated on me I'd wander what did I do and ask myself hundreds of questions why? Plus, I can never understand why anyone wants to cheat when they find someone..it's hard enough finding someone to have a relationship with and feel that closeness with. Yes, visually we may fall for a hunk or a hottie, but it's only looks..and if you already have chemistry and a person who is there for you, then why cheat? I don't get it.
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in a relationship there should be trust n loyalty..
if your mate cheated, you should confront the person, discuss the reasons why and say where you stand.
i would say if anyone cheats their is no second chance.
from experience once a cheater second chance he cheated again >:(
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It's the reason I'm divorced.
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:bootyshake:
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all i know is that women cheat more
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use your partner for all they got. Then make her/ him watch you get picked up at a bar then leave them
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Cheaters aren't worth anybody's time and should be left immediately, that's what I do. :confused1:
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If my bf cheatd I would forget the guy and leave hime alone....he would not be worth my time!!!! However, I have seen a lot of people that forgave their partner for cheating....takes a lot to forgive a person!!!!
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I think that the trust issue would make it impossible to maintain a good relationship, but, it would also tell me that the relationship wasn't very good to start with. Sometimes I think it is a major way to make something, anything happen in the existing relationship. You know, they want out but can't find a way to do it so they set themselves on self-destruct. I always thought it would be the last thing to happen after the all the other things you do to fix a relationship had failed. I do know my sister had this happen to her (she is intelligent, attractive and highly stressed). Both she and her husband travel a lot and have kids so I think in this case it was a cry for attention. They seem to have gotten past is an now 12 yrs later are still married and seem to be doing fine. I think she is a bigger person than I would be able to be though maybe she is just more secure in herself and sees that it is not the worst thing that can happen.
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all i know is that women cheat more
That is total bullshit. I was completely faithful to my ex-husband while he cheated on me with numerous people I have come to find out. He is now marrying my ex-bestfriend...
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so.....what do you do if you found out she/he cheated on you?? forgive and forget? pack your things and leave?get revenge? or snap?
i would probably kick her out the door and look for someone else that won't cheat on me. i've been there a couple times in my life with cheaters and i've always done the same thing everytime. my moto is... "Once A Cheater, Always A Cheater!"
I agree with the saying of "One A Cheater, Always A Cheater!" I would just pack my things and leave. Don't even wanna waste my time and effort to talk to a cheater.
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hey cuppycake, wake up call for you. its true women do cheat more. cuz they have so much high expectations of their current relationship and if they aren't satisfied, they will tend to find another man who is more like her standards. 15 years plus as a relationship counselor so do not argue. good day
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pepole often think the grass is always greener on the other side but soon they learn thats not the case even gold loses it's luster in time
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My husband cheated on me when I was 3 mo. pregnant. I found out when our daughter was 13 mo. old, when he CALLED to tell me his ex was making him take a paternity test. We split up for a couple of weeks. Now he is on a very short leash. It was either that or stay the F**K out of my life. It's been over 2 years and he still worships the ground I walk on. I still haven't forgiven him, but he is willing to deal with it.
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I have learned alot about love and forgiveness over the past years. If the affair was a one or two time thing with an anonymous person, I could possibly end up forgiving, but never forgetting. But, if the affair was over a long period of time, and he wasnt willing to stop, I would pack up and leave. No self respecting person should ever put up with that.
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I have learned alot about love and forgiveness over the past years. If the affair was a one or two time thing with an anonymous person, I could possibly end up forgiving, but never forgetting. But, if the affair was over a long period of time, and he wasnt willing to stop, I would pack up and leave. No self respecting person should ever put up with that.
What if he denied it for over a year? would you be able to forgive then? What if a child was the result? What if the mom is constantly trying to force the kid into his life? Do you think you could then? If so, you are a much better person than I will ever be. :thumbsup:(don't mean to come off defensive, just curious if you could.)
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cheating is a tricky topic.
it's wrong, yes.
it is born out of basic human selfishness, yes.
but I don't think if you cheat on your partner, you should tell them.
I think that's far more selfish than the act of cheating on them in the first place.
you should not cheat. but if you do, stop cheating and don't tell your partner. the cheater needs to learn what is missing in their relationship and fix it, and revealing that they cheated will not help.
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cheating is a tricky topic.
it's wrong, yes.
it is born out of basic human selfishness, yes.
but I don't think if you cheat on your partner, you should tell them.
I think that's far more selfish than the act of cheating on them in the first place.
you should not cheat. but if you do, stop cheating and don't tell your partner. the cheater needs to learn what is missing in their relationship and fix it, and revealing that they cheated will not help.
So you wouldn't want to know? Just think about what he could have "caught" while cheating. The other person deserves to know the risks.
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hey cuppycake, wake up call for you. its true women do cheat more. cuz they have so much high expectations of their current relationship and if they aren't satisfied, they will tend to find another man who is more like her standards. 15 years plus as a relationship counselor so do not argue. good day
I will argue as it is my right. And I will not take your crap just because YOU think YOU are right. I don't care who you THINK you are mister but I don't take crap from any one.
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It's hard to say. In my mind I think I'd be kicking him out, but maybe I could forgive once. I don't know for sure. I pray it never happens so I don't have to know what I'll do!! ;D
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Im the type that doesnt put up with that, so she would probably be OUT.
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Last time I had that happen where I found out my bf was cheating on me.. didn't end well.. I snapped and called him on it then he snapped an beat the *bleep* outta me.. then he went to jail.. and prison for violating his probation kuz aparently he is a sex offender and I didn't know that and he wasn't supposedto have ANY contact with girls AT ALL.. yea cheating can be a living nightmare =/
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Try to fix the problems. Talk with them about it (not fight), make deals about privacy and ways to trust. Try to mend the relationship and see what's wrong.
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Of course I feel cheating is wrong. However, we are only human and do wrong many times throughout life. My husband and I have talked about this over the last 26 years and while it would be heartwrenching and seemingly unbearable, we would both at least give forgiveness a shot. I know that circumstances have a lot to do with it but I don't believe you can say now what you would do in the future without examining the underlying reasons for the behavior. I feel both partners have to look in the mirror and within themselves to take stock of who they are and what they are bringing to the marriage. It would be difficult but I would have to try forgiveness because I would want to be forgiven if I did something that brought him anguish. A lot of times, the affair has nothing to do with the cheated-on partner. Its something within the "cheater" that is missing. I disagree with an above comment in that the partner absolutely should be told and allowed to vent anger, ask questions, do whatever needs to be done to express their feelings. The cheater then waits as long as it takes to gain back their partner's trust. Being deceitful doesn't help the affair situation nor does it say anything about the foundation of the relationship in the marriage. As long as the affair isn't ongoing, I think its acceptable to grant a second chance for the marriage to grow and the family to continue. :female: :male:
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:sad1: That happed to me.. he's gone... and I don't need catfood for a LONG time !!!hahahahahah
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I do not think I will ever have that problem, my husband's love of God, comes first, and then me. I don't think my husband would step out of faith and cheat. I trust my husband.
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Been there. Left his sorry butt. Best thing to happen to me. I got the kids, whom I love dearly.
Once a cheater always a cheater.
Annette
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Have his clothes ready for him outside.. as he pulls up,.. he will see all his stuff burning up in flames. Probably beat his *bleep* too.
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All you can do is leave and never look back lesson learned and on to the next one in your life , However dont make this a wound in ur well being as a person cause that causes a person to become bitter because of one who treated them wrong and u cant function inside of another relationship ...no one wants a bitter ol person with bagage..move on and let karma takeover
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I do not agree with cheating at all!! It has happened to me and I chose to stay with him, but we have been together for a long time and have children to think about. I will say that if you choose to stay, it is a long healing process.
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CHEATING IS A NO NO
I don't believe in forgiveness for the cheating heart because the wounded heart doesn't not fully heal. It's a serious mistake that both parties need to learn and move on from. Whether the person whom cheated is truly sorry or the victim is co-dependent, both parties should move on. It's the healthiest way of all!
If you forgive, you will never forget. The hurt and memories of being betrayed by the closest person will never truly heal. You can never re-gain the full trust that once existed between your you and your partner. If you try, the process is another suffering of it's kind. Both parties are going to deal with the mis-trust and the relationship grows to hate. If you two cannot make it to get over the issue, the final break-up will do more damage in the long run.
If you move on, you will be sad and lonely for many months perhaps even years. However, the new beginning is worth more than anything that you can create with the person that once betrayed your love. People who choose to stay and validate their weakness with reasons will always remember. They will always feel that pain like it was yesterday that their love was betrayed for a worthless moment of joy.
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if someone cheats on me then fine i dont mind haha i will leave him alone
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I WOULDING DO NOTHING CAUSE IT TO MANY FEMALES OUT HERE SO I MEAN I BE MAD BUT IT OWELL LIFE GO ON
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I would be absolutely heart broken. :( Cheating is the most disrespectful thing you could possibly do to a person you are in a relationship with. If you are unhappy, then end the relationship instead of hurting them.
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How old are you??!?!?!? ::)