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Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: Bode1104 on May 26, 2009, 03:52:46 am

Title: cheating women/men
Post by: Bode1104 on May 26, 2009, 03:52:46 am
so.....what do you do if you found out she/he cheated on you?? forgive and forget? pack your things and leave?get revenge? or snap?
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: jkc715nyc on May 26, 2009, 08:58:06 am
I would probably go completely nuts and toss my husband out the door. I don't know that I'd be able to forgive.
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: ecominvest on May 26, 2009, 09:23:10 am
Couple should not be cheated on each and other. If you can't leave with a person instead of cheating on him/her, just give up.
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: viva05 on May 26, 2009, 10:15:20 am
Couples should not cheat on each other if you are true with your mate don't cheat.
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: MATUREONE on May 26, 2009, 10:46:52 am
I'd pobably snap, get even, then leave!!! LOL...I would't get even, but I would be MAD AS HELL!!! I think if you're with someone, that's who you should be with. Cheating is pointless, and it creates one lie after another. IF you're with someone, and you feel an attraction to someon else, and yo KNOW it can go further than just that attraction, BE HONEST wth your partner...you'll be surprised of the outcome. He/She may be cool with it, wanna join you, or anything....TRUST ME!
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: CompKillaz on May 26, 2009, 11:47:35 am
so.....what do you do if you found out she/he cheated on you?? forgive and forget? pack your things and leave?get revenge? or snap?

i would probably kick her out the door and look for someone else that won't cheat on me. i've been there a couple times in my life with cheaters and i've always done the same thing everytime. my moto is... "Once A Cheater, Always A Cheater!"
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: kesto4 on May 26, 2009, 12:12:57 pm
They don't even deserve to be talked to if they cheated. Break-up immediately and maybe someday talk to again.


Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: trop8cana on May 26, 2009, 02:55:35 pm
I would leave personally.If a man/woman doesn't know your worth then they are not really worth being with or stressing over.I believe in Karma.What he/she does to you will be done to them.Just let time do it's thing.I would proudly hold my head up and walk.When a person cheats on you, I think that just shows the lack of respect that they have for you.I always let them know that if they ever decided they wanted to be with someone else then just respect me enough to let me know and handle things like an adult should.I would respect someone more for breaking up with me before cheating rather than to be with them while they are cheating only to come home and smile in my face after your face has been all up in another womans face.I don't do well with people insulting my intelligence or "trying" to play me for a fool when they only played themselves....Just my thought :wave:
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: Tere2 on May 26, 2009, 03:54:52 pm
Been there, too, but I made him leave and told him not to let the door hit him in the  :bootyshake:
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: vlsm23 on May 26, 2009, 04:37:07 pm
I would more than likely pack up and leave.  I really love my husband, but once people cheat, there is a tendency to repeat the offense.  I am not a revenge type of person - I tended to get really depressed when it happened in my youth.
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: aspenl on May 26, 2009, 05:02:19 pm
For me it depends on if it was an ongoing affair that I never knew about or if it was 10 minutes one night after we had fought and he immediately told me what he'd done and seemed distraught about it.  Neither one would be anywhere close to easy to forgive (meaning go on together).  However if I found out about a planned affair even if he did seem remorseful, it would be extremely hard to do anything but divorce.
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: klkwid on May 26, 2009, 07:49:31 pm
Kind of depends on the situation.  There are some instances that MIGHT be forgivable.  Those instances would be very unusual situations, though!!  For the most part I'd tell my guy to take a hike!!!
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: steven8280 on July 21, 2009, 11:45:16 am
i dont know what all you guys have against cheaters. they bring all the fun and drama into boring relationships! because of them they make you stronger and sometimes make you give up on women or men and make you go gay but its all right! stealing other people girlfriends is actually kind of fun once you get the hang of it! give it a try all u guys good luck! :thumbsup:
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: illboy on July 21, 2009, 11:48:17 am
Meh, just leave.
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: bet_2008 on July 21, 2009, 11:51:47 am
me too   :wave: :thumbsup:
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: sheliawheeler on July 21, 2009, 04:29:52 pm
I don't know how I would react if I found out my husband cheated on me.  We have been together for a long time (married almost 12 years) and have 3 children.  I think it is different when you have children involved.  I probably would kick him out of the house if I found out.  I'm not sure though.
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: lameremusicale on July 21, 2009, 04:35:01 pm
As much as I would love to stay with my boyfriend forever, especially for the sake of our son... I am not the kind of person that can get over cheating. If he cheats on me, it's bye-bye daddy....
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: Thundrstorm on July 21, 2009, 04:58:01 pm
Had it happen to me and it's hard to forgive but it's hard to be mad at someone you love/ed for forever. You have to suck it up at some point and get over it.
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: ellene on July 21, 2009, 05:00:42 pm
urrgss cheating no good you should tell your spouse that you're tiredd
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: Player54U2 on July 22, 2009, 03:03:43 am
so.....what do you do if you found out she/he cheated on you?? forgive and forget? pack your things and leave?get revenge? or snap?

There shouldn't be any cheating, if a couple has to do that, they should not be together.
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: DESHAWN21 on July 22, 2009, 03:18:52 am
IF U TRUELLY LOVE THT PERSONAND YALL RELATIONSHIP WAS TIGHT. I THINK U SHOULD FORGIVE HIM/HER FOR WHAT THEY DID. BUT THERE WOULD BE NEW RULE N YALL RELATIONSHIP. ;D
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: sleepsoftangel on July 22, 2009, 07:40:00 am
If I found out someone cheated on me I'd wander what did I do and ask myself hundreds of questions why?  Plus, I can never understand why anyone wants to cheat when they find someone..it's hard enough finding someone to have a relationship with and feel that closeness with.  Yes, visually we may fall for a hunk or a hottie, but it's only looks..and if you already have chemistry and a person who is there for you, then why cheat?  I don't get it.
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: itzjme on July 22, 2009, 12:45:49 pm
in a relationship there should be trust n loyalty..
if your mate cheated, you should confront the person, discuss the reasons why and say where you stand.
i would say if anyone cheats their is no second chance.

from experience once a cheater second chance he cheated again  >:(
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: hjh1974 on July 22, 2009, 01:19:45 pm
It's the reason I'm divorced.
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: PMZ908 on July 22, 2009, 03:36:04 pm
 :bootyshake:
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: PMZ908 on July 22, 2009, 03:40:24 pm
all i know is that women cheat more
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: michealmmsm on July 22, 2009, 04:48:29 pm
use your partner for all they got.  Then make her/ him watch you get picked up at a bar then leave them
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: pigroxie on July 22, 2009, 06:06:06 pm
Cheaters aren't worth anybody's time and should be left immediately, that's what I do.  :confused1:
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: trujillo33 on July 22, 2009, 07:12:03 pm
If my bf cheatd I would forget the guy and leave hime alone....he would not be worth my time!!!! However, I have seen a lot of people that forgave their partner for cheating....takes a lot to forgive a person!!!!
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: lbeery on July 22, 2009, 07:31:07 pm
I think that the trust issue would make it impossible to maintain a good relationship, but, it would also tell me that the relationship wasn't very good to start with.  Sometimes I think it is a major way to make something, anything happen in the existing relationship.  You know, they want out but can't find a way to do it so they set themselves on self-destruct.  I always thought it would be the last thing to happen after the all the other things you do to fix a relationship had failed.  I do know my sister had this happen to her (she is intelligent, attractive and highly stressed).  Both she and her husband travel a lot and have kids so I think in this case it was a cry for attention.  They seem to have gotten past is an now 12 yrs later are still married and seem to be doing fine.  I think she is a bigger person than I would be able to be though maybe she is just more secure in herself and sees that it is not the worst thing that can happen.
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: Cuppycake on July 22, 2009, 08:47:45 pm
all i know is that women cheat more
That is total bullshit. I was completely faithful to my ex-husband while he cheated on me with numerous people I have come to find out. He is now marrying my ex-bestfriend...
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: teresas20000 on July 23, 2009, 12:12:45 am
so.....what do you do if you found out she/he cheated on you?? forgive and forget? pack your things and leave?get revenge? or snap?

i would probably kick her out the door and look for someone else that won't cheat on me. i've been there a couple times in my life with cheaters and i've always done the same thing everytime. my moto is... "Once A Cheater, Always A Cheater!"

I agree with the saying of "One A Cheater, Always A Cheater!" I would just pack my things and leave. Don't even wanna waste my time and effort to talk to a cheater.
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: steven8280 on July 23, 2009, 10:20:20 am
hey cuppycake, wake up call for you. its true women do cheat more. cuz they have so much high expectations of their current relationship and if they aren't satisfied, they will tend to find another man who is more like her standards. 15 years plus as a relationship counselor so do not argue. good day
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: bnzx10 on July 23, 2009, 10:23:11 am
pepole often think the grass is always greener on the other side but soon they learn thats not the case even gold loses it's luster in time
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: cowgirlx on July 23, 2009, 10:37:43 am
My husband cheated on me when I was 3 mo. pregnant.  I found out when our daughter was 13 mo. old, when he CALLED to tell me his ex was making him take a paternity test.  We split up for a couple of weeks.  Now he is on a very short leash.  It was either that or stay the F**K out of my life.  It's been over 2 years and he still worships the ground I walk on.  I still haven't forgiven him, but he is willing to deal with it.
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: anjasmommy on July 23, 2009, 11:55:39 am
I have learned alot about love and forgiveness over the past years. If the affair was a one or two time thing with an anonymous person, I could possibly end up forgiving, but never forgetting. But, if the affair was over a long period of time, and he wasnt willing to stop, I would pack up and leave. No self respecting person should ever put up with that.
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: cowgirlx on July 23, 2009, 12:17:42 pm
I have learned alot about love and forgiveness over the past years. If the affair was a one or two time thing with an anonymous person, I could possibly end up forgiving, but never forgetting. But, if the affair was over a long period of time, and he wasnt willing to stop, I would pack up and leave. No self respecting person should ever put up with that.

What if he denied it for over a year?  would you be able to forgive then?  What if a child was the result?  What if the mom is constantly trying to force the kid into his life?  Do you think you could then?  If so, you are a much better person than I will ever be. :thumbsup:(don't mean to come off defensive, just curious if you could.)
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: michellemoore92 on July 23, 2009, 03:44:41 pm
cheating is a tricky topic.
it's wrong, yes.
it is born out of basic human selfishness, yes.

but I don't think if you cheat on your partner, you should tell them.
I think that's far more selfish than the act of cheating on them in the first place.


you should not cheat. but if you do, stop cheating and don't tell your partner. the cheater needs to learn what is missing in their relationship and fix it, and revealing that they cheated will not help.
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: cowgirlx on July 24, 2009, 06:09:40 am
cheating is a tricky topic.
it's wrong, yes.
it is born out of basic human selfishness, yes.

but I don't think if you cheat on your partner, you should tell them.
I think that's far more selfish than the act of cheating on them in the first place.


you should not cheat. but if you do, stop cheating and don't tell your partner. the cheater needs to learn what is missing in their relationship and fix it, and revealing that they cheated will not help.

So you wouldn't want to know?  Just think about what he could have "caught" while cheating.  The other person deserves to know the risks. 
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: Cuppycake on July 24, 2009, 03:56:15 pm
hey cuppycake, wake up call for you. its true women do cheat more. cuz they have so much high expectations of their current relationship and if they aren't satisfied, they will tend to find another man who is more like her standards. 15 years plus as a relationship counselor so do not argue. good day
I will argue as it is my right. And I will not take your crap just because YOU think YOU are right. I don't care who you THINK you are mister but I don't take crap from any one.
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: Bridget_Elaine on July 24, 2009, 09:04:35 pm
It's hard to say.  In my mind I think I'd be kicking him out, but maybe I could forgive once.  I don't know for sure.  I pray it never happens so I don't have to know what I'll do!!  ;D
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: Isaac28 on December 13, 2009, 07:11:43 pm
Im the type that doesnt put up with that, so she would probably  be OUT.
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: s3xyrixa on December 13, 2009, 07:18:27 pm
Last time I had that happen where I found out my bf was cheating on me.. didn't end well.. I snapped and called him on it then he snapped an beat the *bleep* outta me.. then he went to jail.. and prison for violating his probation kuz aparently he is a sex offender and I didn't know that and he wasn't supposedto have ANY contact with girls AT ALL.. yea cheating can be a living nightmare =/
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: StephaBon on December 13, 2009, 08:17:45 pm
Try to fix the problems.  Talk with them about it (not fight), make deals about privacy and ways to trust.  Try to mend the relationship and see what's wrong.
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: rn4bama on December 13, 2009, 09:06:02 pm
Of course I feel cheating is wrong. However, we are only human and do wrong many times throughout life. My husband and I have talked about this over the last 26 years and while it would be heartwrenching and seemingly unbearable, we would both at least give forgiveness a shot. I know that circumstances have a lot to do with it but I don't believe you can say now what you would do in the future without examining the underlying reasons for the behavior.  I feel both partners have to look in the mirror and within themselves to take stock of who they are and what they are bringing to the marriage. It would be difficult but I would have to try forgiveness because I would want to be forgiven if I did something that brought him anguish. A lot of times, the affair has nothing to do with the cheated-on partner. Its something within the "cheater" that is missing. I disagree with an above comment in that the partner absolutely should be told and allowed to vent anger, ask questions, do whatever needs to be done to express their feelings. The cheater then waits as long as it takes to gain back their partner's trust. Being deceitful doesn't help the affair situation nor does it say anything about the foundation of the relationship in the marriage. As long as the affair isn't ongoing, I think its acceptable to grant a second chance for the marriage to grow and the family to continue.  :female: :male:
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: debraleesparks on December 13, 2009, 09:15:59 pm
 :sad1: That happed to me.. he's gone... and I don't need catfood for a LONG time !!!hahahahahah
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: lynnc35 on December 14, 2009, 01:47:35 am
I do not think I will ever have that problem, my husband's love of God, comes first, and then me. I don't think my husband would step out of faith and cheat. I trust my husband.
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: afroach on December 14, 2009, 02:55:46 am
Been there. Left his sorry butt. Best thing to happen to me. I got the kids, whom I love dearly.
Once a cheater always a cheater.

       Annette
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: CHYNEEZ on December 14, 2009, 10:46:13 am
Have his clothes ready for him outside.. as he pulls up,.. he will see all his stuff burning up in flames. Probably beat his *bleep* too.
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: gesus on December 14, 2009, 12:00:00 pm
All you can do is leave and never look back lesson learned and on to the next one in your life , However dont make this a wound in ur well being as a person cause that causes a person to become bitter because of one who treated them wrong and u cant function inside of another relationship ...no one wants a bitter ol person with bagage..move on and let karma takeover
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: sandmsmith414 on December 14, 2009, 12:05:32 pm
I do not agree with cheating at all!! It has happened to me and I chose to stay with him, but we have been together for a long time and have children to think about. I will say that if you choose to stay, it is a long healing process.
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: thanhkle2003 on December 14, 2009, 12:28:52 pm
CHEATING IS A NO NO

I don't believe in forgiveness for the cheating heart because the wounded heart doesn't not fully heal. It's a serious mistake that both parties need to learn and move on from. Whether the person whom cheated is truly sorry or the victim is co-dependent, both parties should move on. It's the healthiest way of all!

If you forgive, you will never forget. The hurt and memories of being betrayed by the closest person will never truly heal. You can never re-gain the full trust that once existed between your you and your partner. If you try, the process is another suffering of it's kind. Both parties are going to deal with the mis-trust and the relationship grows to hate. If you two cannot make it to get over the issue, the final break-up will do more damage in the long run.

If you move on, you will be sad and lonely for many months perhaps even years. However, the new beginning is worth more than anything that you can create with the person that once betrayed your love. People who choose to stay and validate their weakness with reasons will always remember. They will always feel that pain like it was yesterday that their love was betrayed for a worthless moment of joy.
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: Gemz09 on December 14, 2009, 06:20:35 pm
if someone cheats on me then fine i dont mind haha i will leave him alone
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: TYSEAN22 on February 02, 2010, 06:51:36 am
I WOULDING DO NOTHING CAUSE IT TO MANY FEMALES OUT HERE SO I MEAN I BE MAD BUT IT OWELL LIFE GO ON
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: wuzupg32 on February 02, 2010, 07:04:16 am
I would be absolutely heart broken.   :(  Cheating is the most disrespectful thing you could possibly do to a person you are in a relationship with.  If you are unhappy, then end the relationship instead of hurting them.
Title: Re: cheating women/men
Post by: tzs on February 03, 2010, 06:16:46 pm
How old are you??!?!?!? ::)