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Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: hensleyll on September 24, 2013, 08:04:08 am
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her ex wants the kids two boys 10,8 they have been with me and my husband and my parents since they where born i mean there mother was around but she never took care of them,the dad paid 200 child support but never did anything else not even birhtday parties kids go visit regularly he want even take them to mcdonalds unless we send money,why should he be allowed to take them out of their home,they dont want to go
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fun that sucks
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it sure does
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Is there any way you can fight it in court? He doesn't seen like the " great" dad, where was he all those years? Can't the boy's wishes mean something? Good luck, I'll be praying for you guys.
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I would try to fight for custody if you can possibly afford a lawyer. It sounds to me as though those kids belong with you.
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I would take him to court if possible they don't need to be with a dead beat Dad I will say a prayer for you they want and need to be with people that love them.
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I would fight for custody if they were my grand kids. Good luck. :thumbsup:
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definitely fight for custody. They of course don't want to go w/ him because they do not know him as well as they know you but if he does want to be in there lives (finally) that is a good thing (considering he is a positive role model for them). If you get custody and he gets visitation it doesn't guarantee that he will use it and be in there lives so... If he does get custody you should be granted visitation. And the good thing out of that atleast the boys will have both their father and their grandparents in their lives.
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In some states grandparents have no rights to their grandbabies. Hope things turn out better for you.
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I don't know how a lot of cases that involve children are decided. I have seen so many of them go wrong. I don't know who's job it is too look into the facts but it seems like our legal system is not equipped to make good decisions for children.
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I wish you luck on this one. My daughter sent her daughters to live with their father in Florida. That was last year. He called her and said he wanted to get to know his girls and he has them. He called the Child Support office and told them that they can close the case because he has them. The Child Support office told him that was not his decision to make and only my daughter could cancel the case; he would still owe arrears, which amount to $9,000. That is not my daughter's fault; she sent him to Florida to get a job, and he married a Cuban and has two more kids by her. They made a compromise on the issue, and he has them there with him and his wife until they get 14, and then my daughter will get them. My oldest granddaughter will turn 14 in 2017 and my other granddaughter will turn 14 in 2019. I am hoping that she can get my grandson, whom I have with me and have had since April 2012, when she moved to Marietta, GA. The issue is that he don't want to pay child support. I heard from my granddaughter that he and his wife will leave them in the house by themselves. I worry because anything can go wrong. But when they were here in Mississippi, they spent the majority of the time with his mother. I saw them when I took my grandson to see his sisters and my oldest granddaughter's hair was all over her head. I made her sit down and did her hair so she would, for the most part, look like somebody gave a darn about her. I just don't get that grandparents don't have any rights unless the mother of their grandchildren is is in jail or dead. His mother is sickly; she has seizures, and it made no sense that she could not comb my granddaughter's hair and fix her up. ??? :o ??? :wave:
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Sorry to hear that and you should have custody so fight fight!
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I would get a good lawyer and fight him to the grave for the boys. They are old enough to tell a judge what their wishes are.
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her ex wants the kids two boys 10,8 they have been with me and my husband and my parents since they where born i mean there mother was around but she never took care of them,the dad paid 200 child support but never did anything else not even birhtday parties kids go visit regularly he want even take them to mcdonalds unless we send money,why should he be allowed to take them out of their home,they dont want to go
I would contact an attorney if I were you. At the very least, consult with one and see what they have to say. These kids have been living with you all along. You've been supporting them and giving them most of what they need. Let an attorney know the story. Even the kids have an opinion. They're old enough to tell a Judge they don't want to leave your care. I hope all turns out well for the kids and your family. Good luck!
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That's a rough subject that really sucks
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I'm sorry. What a mess. Are you sure he really wants them?
I had a friend years ago who's ex paid child support but had no contact for the first 4 years of her daughter's life. Suddenly he wanted to get involved and see her; have her come visit (they lived in different states). Turned out he was getting married and wanted to be relieved of child support. Mom was happy to terminate his rights and support so she didn't have to send her 4 year old off to a total stranger 1000 miles away.
Just the threat of a lawyer might be enough to scare him off.
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I will pray that this will work out. I know you are hurting over this situation. I don't understand people who don't put the welfare of their children first above all else. And it doesn't sound like this man does that - I hope his motives are pure. :dontknow:
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It's so sad that this has to happen. The boys should have a say in what happens, and I hope you will fight for them all the way. Sorry to say this, but it seems like the one who does the most for them isn't sometimes the one that wins. I will pray that you will win custody!
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Fight for custody and your argument is just what you stated here. He's not been in a constant in their lives and the kids have made you the mom and dad. You need to get both parents to sign over their rights to you. That may be the hard part.
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I would try to fight for sole custody. If you can prove he is never around and doesn't even make an effort to be apart of the children's lives than I think you may have a shot at winning.
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It seems to me that if you can prove they have always lived with you, you should get full custody. And; you should take him to court to raise the amount he pays for child support!
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so sad, children need to be in a familiar place where they can relax and be kids.
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My thoughts are even though the mother is in jail. She still has rights to her kids. You need to get a Lawyer and have the mother sign her rights over to you temporally and then show receipts and other things of how these kids have been with you and have a stable life with you. Good luck! I helped my brother thru this type of thing and no I did not get a thanks but at least he has kids. :) :) :)
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I wish you much luck. I really think you are going to have to fight him on this in court! He probably only wants them so he doesn't have to give the $200 a month. If they are old enough, they will be asked what they would like. Let everyone know where you live, maybe someone out there knows a lawyer with a heart. My child is in college, his father will not give one penny to help with that or with extensive medical bills that he has had this year. He has a much younger girlfriend who he seems to have plenty of money for. Much luck, keep us posted.
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You did not mention the ages of the children? Are they old enough to testify themselves? That carries A LOT of weight in court. Good luck to you.
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my grandsons are 8 and 10 and the 10 year old wants t stay with me and my husband the 8 year old wants to stay with my parents ,bot are refusing to go to their dads
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so the boys are gone to their dads now we wait to see if he brings them back monday
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I think that what you said is truth. I don't think he deserve those children. Fight for the kid right. They cannot live with un responsible father like that. I feel sorry for the most is the kids. They deserve a better life. Please keep fight for those kids have a better life. God bless.
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Do what you can to keep those two precious grandchildren.
I have a hard time believing the "powers that be" (courts, judges, child agencies, etc) cannot SEE and UNDERSTAND that just because someone fathered children is not a good enough reason to just hand them to the father.....he hasn't been there for them for 8 & 10 years. What has changed with him? I would think he would have to prove something has changed.
Does your daughter still have rights even though she is in jail?
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so the boys are gone to their dads now we wait to see if he brings them back monday
Special prayers have gone up for you and the boys. Trust in the Lord.
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I wish you luck on this. Custody is always a nasty situation and usually the kids are the ones who end up hurt. Find a good lawyer who cares about kids to fight for you.
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What ever you do, don't give up. Put up a good fight for those kids they will appreciate you more than you know. I hope and pray all goes well for you and your family.
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That's a question you really need to ask an attorney.
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I wish you luck on this one. My daughter sent her daughters to live with their father in Florida. That was last year. He called her and said he wanted to get to know his girls and he has them. He called the Child Support office and told them that they can close the case because he has them. The Child Support office told him that was not his decision to make and only my daughter could cancel the case; he would still owe arrears, which amount to $9,000. That is not my daughter's fault; she sent him to Florida to get a job, and he married a Cuban and has two more kids by her. They made a compromise on the issue, and he has them there with him and his wife until they get 14, and then my daughter will get them. My oldest granddaughter will turn 14 in 2017 and my other granddaughter will turn 14 in 2019. I am hoping that she can get my grandson, whom I have with me and have had since April 2012, when she moved to Marietta, GA. The issue is that he don't want to pay child support. I heard from my granddaughter that he and his wife will leave them in the house by themselves. I worry because anything can go wrong. But when they were here in Mississippi, they spent the majority of the time with his mother. I saw them when I took my grandson to see his sisters and my oldest granddaughter's hair was all over her head. I made her sit down and did her hair so she would, for the most part, look like somebody gave a darn about her. I just don't get that grandparents don't have any rights unless the mother of their grandchildren is is in jail or dead. His mother is sickly; she has seizures, and it made no sense that she could not comb my granddaughter's hair and fix her up. ??? :o ??? :wave:
Who is to say when the kid turns 14 they will want to be uprooted and move to another state and be with a totally different parent. That doesn't make a lot of sense to me.
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her ex wants the kids two boys 10,8 they have been with me and my husband and my parents since they where born i mean there mother was around but she never took care of them,the dad paid 200 child support but never did anything else not even birhtday parties kids go visit regularly he want even take them to mcdonalds unless we send money,why should he be allowed to take them out of their home,they dont want to go
If he hasn't been around in 8 years I wouldn't think a judge would give him custody. He probably can get visitation unless he has criminal background that would prevent it. I am curious as to why he was never around? Did he not want to be around or did his ex not want him there. I know a woman who had a baby with a guy and he was never around but it was her fault not his. He didn't know about the kid til several years later and then when he found out she told him I want nothing to do with you and this child will never know you are the father. Not a lot he could do. If he is a good guy (except for not being around all them years) and wants to know the kids - since they ARE his kids then he does have that right. That is the problem with people today. They have kids out of wedlock, get married have kids, get divorced, and every thing else and it just screws up the kids lives. The kids are the real ones who suffer. They are the ones who have to pay.
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I feel bad for the children. It sounds like they may loose the one place where they feel safe. I hope it works out for you and for them.
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He won't get your grandchildren. He has to prove that he is a fit father. There is no way that the court will award custody to him knowing they are in a stable home for X amount of years and the kids don't even want to go. Every state is different with the laws of custody but where I come from maternal grandparents takes precedence especially when the father has not been in the kids life for quite awhile. Good luck to you and hope everything works out in your favor! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. :angel11:
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sorry about your daughter but you do whats best for your grandkids i know you will ill keep you in my prayers
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oh my goodness, I hope this situation can be righted for you
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Go to Leagel aid or get a lawyer who specialises in custody of children.
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I`m trusting in the lord only thing keeping me sane,father says he will bring them home sunday,i pray this is true ,thanks for all the support and happy thanksgiving and God Bless to All
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I would fight to keep the kids where they want to be. If the father does show effort in taking care of his children why should he get them. I would take him to court and let the judge know that he does nothing extra for them, that you provide the money for him to take them out, I am sure he doesn't buy them cloths and stuff like that right? Maybe he wants them for the Earned income credit, or help from the state with food stamps and cash aide. I would definitely ask the judge to speak at least to the oldest on where he wants to be and the other child will go where ever his brother goes.
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The sad thing about situations like this is the children often times don't get a say so in what they want. In court people are always so quick to make statements about doing what's in the best interest of the child, but don't listen to what they children want or how they feel. If he does get custody I think it should be joint custody.
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that's is really a bunch of stress you have I wish you all the luck in my area the father would get them I will beep you in my thoughts
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I'm sure you would have a good case in court. He would have a high order to prove that he could provide better care than you have given them. Best of luck and God bless.
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He won't get your grandchildren. He has to prove that he is a fit father. There is no way that the court will award custody to him knowing they are in a stable home for X amount of years and the kids don't even want to go. Every state is different with the laws of custody but where I come from maternal grandparents takes precedence especially when the father has not been in the kids life for quite awhile. Good luck to you and hope everything works out in your favor! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. :angel11:
I would say where you come from is in the minority. The grandparents will never take precedence over the father unless he is unfit or there is a reason for him not to have custody. I know of a situation that happened about a year ago. The father had never been in the child's life but when the mother went to jail the father was the FIRST one who had the choice of taking the kid in.
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Think you so much ,we are praying for the best guess sunday will tell if he brings them back ,we told him we would go to court and tell child support we dont want his money he and my daughter can take that up when she gets out of jail
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Will be praying that this will all work out best for the children. It is s tough situation.
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update mom got out on bond dropped child support father spent money on boys willing to leave them with grandparents andsd we are all getting along at the moment pray it stays like this ,thanks for all your support
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Having family just seems to get more confusing the older I get just try to get thru each day and don't stress out to much
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thats what im trying to do but now my mom sick again my dad has to have neck surgery please pray for us all