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Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: blondie71 on April 16, 2014, 11:29:56 pm
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I hired my son's girlfriend to do my in home care and she has not been reliable she would get here late or call at the last minute today she text me and said she wouldn't be here. My care is for 7 days a week as well as my husband so she really left us hanging. We get help because of our health and she just didn't care. I have been paying her for the full 4 hours and 15 minutes she would get her an hour late and leave one hour and a half so I told her today I need her to stay the full time here next thing I know my son is texting me telling me she is going to quit what did I do wrong besides that I need her to do the work.
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I don't think you did anything wrong except hire a family connection. She felt because she was dating your son it wasn't a real job with real responsibility. You will be better off hiring a person through an agency that scenes their help.
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Working with family can be a touchy situation, I would let her go, and try to get a professional. Good luck and God bless
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How long has he been dating her? I personally dont know if I would want to take care of parents of someone I havent been dating very long. You didnt tell us how long :)
Probably best to get someone who is not family, that way ill feelings are not caused
Maybe she was just feeling uneasy about being so close to you both?
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You did nothing wrong except expect her to earn the money and do what you and your husband needed and qualified to get help with - seems like that is the way it usually works out with family and/or friends. It is too bad - I would say she isn't a very ethical or clearly not a reliable person. Get a professional and be done with it and don't feel bad.
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I would have fired her long before now, your care is CRITICAL and there are a LOT of folks out there desperate for work, and I am sure very qualified for your needs. I have always had the policy of NEVER doing business with friends or family, especially family. You can't win, ever, don't even GIVE an old car to a friend! SERIOUSLY! I KNOW I have avoided a ton of family disputes and problems with my polivy.
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I hired my son's girlfriend to do my in home care and she has not been reliable she would get here late or call at the last minute today she text me and said she wouldn't be here. My care is for 7 days a week as well as my husband so she really left us hanging. We get help because of our health and she just didn't care. I have been paying her for the full 4 hours and 15 minutes she would get her an hour late and leave one hour and a half so I told her today I need her to stay the full time here next thing I know my son is texting me telling me she is going to quit what did I do wrong besides that I need her to do the work.
You did nothing wrong. It truly sounds like she's taking advantage of the situation because she dates your son. I would not be paying her for the full hours that she was supposed to be there and wasn't. If she wasn't quitting, I'd be firing her.
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Well... I would suggest stop paying her.. As Judge Judy would say.. If you eat the steak and you don't like it send it back.. Otherwise if you eat the steak you don't like it but you eat it anyway then you have to pay for the steak.
I suggest you find someone who is going to care enough and with enough training to help you.. Not someone who does not care.. does not have compassion.. and will just leave you hanging out in the cold..
I really don't understand why it is so hard for people to understand that if your treated bad or you don't like something then stop it...Why do people rather be a victim then putting your foot down and stopping the headache.. If she don't care don't pay her.. I wouldn't want someone i know to suffer.. and if they were suffering especially if they were paying for it i'd put an end to it.. It's nonsence to keep letting it go on.. Especially if the person don't care..(Sorry if i sound mean or rude.. I am not trying to be.. I just don't understand the concept of letting people walk all over you)
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Find reliable help!
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Definitely find someone else. Apparently she's not leaving a good impression, which I feel would otherwise be surprising as a person would usually try to do good and make an impression if they care about someone (in this case your son), but maybe it's an upbringing.
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some people are not going to be reliabe, it sucks! i am sorry you are going through a hard time. this is not your fault. she just didnt care about her job apparently.
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Please get a non family member through an agency if you can afford it.
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It is possible she is unable to deal with it and that is the reason she is leaving early and arriving late. You must hire a professional who is equipped to handle the situation.
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You didn't do anything wrong. It's too bad you paid her, sounds like she owes you. It's a shame that your son thinks you did something. hopefully he'll see what she is,and leave her!
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The only thing you did wrong was hire your son's girlfriend. I know you thought by dating him you would fine someone you could count on. Sadly that didn't happen. I don't know your financial situation, but if you can afford it I would call an agency. If not, try placing an ad in the newspaper (you can't get a less reliable person than she was), or try calling social security, if you are disabled maybe they have resources to help you. I know it's a hard situation when you need help and can't get it. Good luck to you and your husband and I hope you get the care you both deserve.
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It was nice gesture for you to employ your sons girlfriend. She's a careless and irresponsible girl and you need to tell her she isn't working out. You and your husband have specific needs and she is not doing the job. Speak truthfully to them and don't back down. Start NOW to look for a replacement.
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I do in home care...I wish you were lose to me and I could do your care....I love my job...hopefully you will find someone who can give you the services you need.....have you tried letting an agency do the hiring for you? Good Luck.....
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Working with family can be a touchy situation, I would let her go, and try to get a professional. Good luck and God bless
I hired her when my son left here for someone else and she did a really good job well when My son's girlfriend broke up with him he asked to move in and when they got back together she just started doing everything half assed. She just wanted him back so she put on a front and got him back anyways.
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How long has he been dating her? I personally dont know if I would want to take care of parents of someone I havent been dating very long. You didnt tell us how long :)
Probably best to get someone who is not family, that way ill feelings are not caused
Maybe she was just feeling uneasy about being so close to you both?
They dated for about 2 years when he broke up with her and they got back together when he left his last girlfriend but she lived with me and stayed with me when My husband was gone she was so kind and giving. She has live under my roof for at least a year and a half. It wasn't like I didn't know her.
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Well... I would suggest stop paying her.. As Judge Judy would say.. If you eat the steak and you don't like it send it back.. Otherwise if you eat the steak you don't like it but you eat it anyway then you have to pay for the steak.
I suggest you find someone who is going to care enough and with enough training to help you.. Not someone who does not care.. does not have compassion.. and will just leave you hanging out in the cold..
I really don't understand why it is so hard for people to understand that if your treated bad or you don't like something then stop it...Why do people rather be a victim then putting your foot down and stopping the headache.. If she don't care don't pay her.. I wouldn't want someone i know to suffer.. and if they were suffering especially if they were paying for it i'd put an end to it.. It's nonsence to keep letting it go on.. Especially if the person don't care..(Sorry if i sound mean or rude.. I am not trying to be.. I just don't understand the concept of letting people walk all over you)
That is what I did I stood up to her and told her how it was going to be from now on and she quite. She is very hard headed and get furious quickly and very loud. My sister said the same thing you said not in so many words but she says I need to start standing up for myself and letting my son and whom ever he is with walk all over me. he gets mad at me when I stand up for myself and he is my only child he might quit talking to me for a little bit but he always needs me for something so he will come around. Thank all of you for your suggestions and advice.