FC Community
Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: cateyes1 on September 18, 2014, 04:25:57 am
-
Lately, there has been much discussion about violence against women by the men in their life. Many have said there is never a good reason for a man to strike a woman but I disagree and today I am speaking out! I have six sons and I have taught them what my father taught my brothers and I: there are four good reasons for a man to hit the woman he loves;
1. Fire. If you look over at the woman you love and discover flames have overtaken your girl, you should absolutely knock her to the ground and start rolling her around.
2. Spider. If your princess discovers a spider wandering across her shoulder and with sheer terror in her voice says “GET. IT. Off! You should smack that 8 legged sucker right off of her.
3. Choking. If over dinner she begins to laugh at another one of your amazingly funny stories and in the process, lodges a bit of her steak in her throat, you have my full support to yank her out of her chair, spin her around and start squeezing her beneath her rib-cage until she spits up!
4. Train. If, while enjoying a peaceful, after dinner walk with your lover, you notice she has wandered into the path of a quickly approaching oncoming train, by all means, grab her by her arm and like the strong man you are, yank her backwards aggressively.
Absent the presence of fire, spiders, choking or trains, dad taught us boys there is never, ever, ever, ever, ever a justifiable reason for a man to strike a woman. Period. He said real men don’t do it. He then added this important definition about being a ‘real man’ which I want to share with all men today;
“Real men don’t allow other men to hit women either.”
I call upon my brothers-in-manhood everywhere to join with me in ZERO TOLERANCE for violence against women. Don’t hit and don’t tolerate hitting. That woman you see getting abused by her “man”, at the club or in the parking lot or even, oh let’s say, an elevator; intervene. Put yourself between the abuser and the victim. Is that dangerous? Could be. But it’s what a real man would do. Always remind yourself when you witness violence on a woman- that is somebody’s mother, daughter or sister.
Just for the record, it IS your business if you decide to make it your business. In the Dunn household, my sons know we consider the safety of other women, our personal business, whether the abuser likes it or not.
Lastly, a note to the abused women of the world- do not take one more punch, slap or kick from any man. There is NOTHING that makes it okay. Stop making excuses for him. He is a broken man and needs to be repaired before he is worthy of spending another second in your presence. Insist on it.
5 Bad Reasons Women Let Men Hit Them;
1. “He was drunk”. So what? He will be drunk again. And although I have personally never been drunk, I know many people who do occasionally get intoxicated- NONE of them hit their women. Your husband or boyfriend is not NORMAL. Stop trying to convince yourself he is.
2. “He’s under a lot of stress”. Real men deal with stress by hitting the gym, hitting a golf ball or even hitting the buffet. They do NOT hit women. Stress is not a gateway emotion to violence for healthy, normal men.
3. “I deserved it”. What???? No. There is nothing you or any woman can do to validate violence against you. Maybe you have done something so bad he leaves you, but violence is not on the list of options for him to choose from when he is upset. NEVER AN OPTION.
4. “His dad abused his mom. It’s all he knows.” When I hear that statement, it makes me throw up a little in my mouth. So what if he witnessed abuse as a child?? If anything, he knows better than others the hurt and pain that comes from abuse. In life we witness lots of things that are bad but we don’t then go integrate them into our own lives. If your man abuses you because he witness abuse, let him go witness therapy. Let him go witness a support group. Let him go witness life alone without you and the children.
5. “It was only once. He apologized.” Statistics say that where there is a “first time”, there is a second time. Your response to the “first time” needs to send an incredibly clear message to your “man” that there will be no second time. Send that message so clearly it haunts him. Make a bold statement with action attached. It is the ‘action’ that will signal the level of your seriousness. That might be calling the police, it might be moving out for a week or two, it might be telling him to leave for a week or require immediate counseling. Your words to him after being hit MUST be followed up with immediate action to reinforce the true level of intolerance you have for violence against yourself.
You might be shocked to learn that someone in your life is an abuser, which means somebody in your life is a victim. Rather than guessing who it might be, just share this article with everyone so it reaches the ones who need to hear it most.
Abusers, be on notice- I’m watching. My sons are watching. And millions of other real men are watching. We WILL defend and protect your wife, your mother and your sister….even from you.
I hope that this will open someone's eyes and know that it is not ok to be abused!!...hugs to you all!!
-
Excellent article or post I should say. I agree with pretty much 100% of what I read
-
This was perfectly stated. hugs right back!
-
i have few works for this a man should never hit a woman and if they do there not a man there monster that all i say what a topic
-
I agree with the very long post and have nothing I can add to it.
-
Or...
In self defense, ONLY....If his life is in imminent danger and there's no other option (she charged him with a knife or other deadly object) but...ONLY if the woman was the sole aggressor and only if she wasn't in fact defending herself against the man who attacked first...That's the ONLY time a man should use physical force on a woman.
-
I like this!!
-
If a woman confronts me with any type of weapon, I will defend myself by any means necessary. Hitting someone for no apparent reason it's not acceptable.
-
For all the "reasons" you have stated I WOULD AGREE but NOT FOR ANY OTHER!!!!
-
Cateyes, there is not much more I can say, I think you said it all and said it correctly. The only reason I can see is IF your life is in danger, but that would be the only exception. Thank you for a beautiful article.
-
Thank you for the great article and Fusion cash for printing it or putting on the forum. You made some very good points. Too bad my ex did not see this or read it. Yes I am an abused woman. But think God I did not stay with him. And I had a lot of family too back me up. I wish with all my heart that not one woman or child would not have to put with men hitting them or women hitting the child. What a nice world it would be.
-
i think you frogotten one & thats self defense.
A women can be just as harm inflicting just the same as a man (of couse most cases are against men for abuse but there are such cases where women had abused men)
-
Exactly...thanks for sharing!
-
I read this post because the title was intriguing but those are all very weird options i have to say but i guess i agree with you.
-
WELL SAID. Of course, there are exemptions to every rule.
-
on the ring only, LOL :) may be we and our spouse learn about martial art together :)
-
Absent the presence of fire, spiders, choking or trains, dad taught us boys there is never, ever, ever, ever, ever a justifiable reason for a man to strike a woman. Period.
How about, men and women should keep their hands to themselves?
I call upon my brothers-in-manhood everywhere to join with me in ZERO TOLERANCE for violence against women.
How about zero tolerance for real-life violence (against all)?
Always remind yourself when you witness violence on a woman- that is somebody’s mother, daughter or sister.
If it's a man, that is somebody's father, son, or brother. We cannot have gender equality if we only focus on women. Men are human too.
Lastly, a note to the abused women of the world- do not take one more punch, slap or kick from any man. There is NOTHING that makes it okay. Stop making excuses for him. He is a broken man and needs to be repaired before he is worthy of spending another second in your presence. Insist on it.
Nobody should stay in an abusive relationship, physical or mental.
-
She comes at you with a knife or gun then ya that's about it.
-
Wow that was great....your dad was a great man and it seems like he raised great children who will raise great children....
-
I wasn't raise to hit women I respect women to much to do that I rather leave or get another female to fight her even though I wouldn't do that
-
I AGREE 100% with everything you said, I grew with the phrase "You do not hit a woman not even with a rose petal" and I stand by it. My daughter was talking to me the other day and she asked me "Mommy what would you have done if daddy ever hit you" so I told her the truth "His clothes would be packed and he would be sleeping in the park within the next 3 minutes of that ever happening" you don't let anybody hit you ever not matter what. but your reason are all sound.
-
This is a bit of a delicate subject because I have been taught growing up that it is never okay to hit a woman. So I teach my sons the same thing. However when my oldest son comes home saying he is being bullied by a girl in his class, and clearly I want my son to be able to stand up for himself, I find it difficult to know what to say. I find myself contradicting everything I ever knew about hitting a woman/girl. So I resign myself to the perspective of don't ever be the first to lash out. You can lash out to defend yourself, but don't ever be the first!
-
I agree with what you said, but please Woman also keep your hand to yourself, some woman these days go for bad and think they can beat on a man and not get hit back, but being a woman myself I know how we can be sometimes, so also teach your daugthers not to hit a man.
-
For those who never learned, women is plural. Woman is singular. Same as man is singular and men is plural.
-
My first response was never, never, never and never. Then I read your article. Very well written and well thought out. Thank you
-
This is well thought out and if just makes me sad that someone has to actually give this explanation. I don't care for violent at all.
-
Very good reasons! Especially the spider!
-
Mental and verbal abuse is almost as bad as physical. Those wounds and scars are hard to see from the outside.
-
Thanks for sharing!
-
I agree that you've basically named all of the exceptions... As others have stated, self-defense is another exception. One last one: If she asks for it. No, I don't mean she did something bad and was "askin' for it"... I mean at night in bed, you're both feeling frisky and she wants the man to spank her ;) But yes, other than hitting her in order to protect her (eg Train, Spiders, etc.), hitting in self-defense (and then, only enough to actually defend yourself and get away), or playfully in a consensual situation, a man should not hit a woman (and vice versus).
-
I love your post. You took your time and really put some thought into it. I can tell you are very wise and I totally agree with this 100%. :thumbsup:
-
Great post!
-
For the most part I agree with you. I don't think a man should ever "hit" a woman. A man has hit me one time and he wasn't even my boyfriend but that of my so called best friend and I filled charges just as soon as I could.
-
While I agree with this post, but I think it's important to emphasize that men shouldn't be hitting other men either. Violence often perpetuates more violence. While I appreciate the idea that hitting women, who don't have the size or muscle mass of men, is considered awful, men can be victimized by violence too. While there might be times, realistically, when there's no way other way than to fight, I think it's best to exhaust all other options, man or woman.
-
I agree, neither party should consider hitting each other. I've seen it before wherein after much verbal and physical abuse from the mother of his children one of the most peaceful man I've ever known retaliated physically. Shockingly everyone especially their children was happy to see their dad had a back bone. Thankfully neither of them resorted to hitting each other again. (to my knowledge)
-
no good reasons to hit a woman should respect them and cherish them.
-
very well said
-
i dont believe a man should ever hit a woman..but that also goes for the woman not hitting a man..each should have respect for one another
-
I was appalled that this was even a topic.There are some abusive women in the world but I think the way the heading was phrased is inapproiate
-
:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
-
LOL, I see some people don't even read the article. They just post what they think by reading the topic.
Well said, but also applies to a woman hitting a man. No violence is needed. :peace: :heart: :thumbsup:
-
Great post!
-
Very interesting and informative post! I like it.
-
Very well done. I also think that there are exceptions. The man should not be a victim in an abusive relationship either. So everyone keep your hands to yourselves, and have the courage to leave a bad relationship.