FC Community
Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: killers2 on April 15, 2015, 05:18:48 pm
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I am only 21 so this is completely hypothetical lol, unless I god forbid had a baby with a girl haha. But do you think being a parent is a needed thing and/or that society kind of pushes that its "so great to have them" on us. Some people call it selfish but if wanting to travel, enjoy my present family and friends and being an uncle, experience things with my partner that having kids sometimes inhibits...then call me selfish! haha I have pretty much decided I don't want them in my 20's but I'll reassess in my 30s ;). Or even if they are not biological I can adopt later in life! I just don't like when people act like having kids is right for EVERYBODY or the be all end all of life, because I have nothing against having them it just isn't for me! :rainbow: :peace: :)
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I am only 21 so this is completely hypothetical lol, unless I god forbid had a baby with a girl haha. But do you think being a parent is a needed thing and/or that society kind of pushes that its "so great to have them" on us. Some people call it selfish but if wanting to travel, enjoy my present family and friends and being an uncle, experience things with my partner that having kids sometimes inhibits...then call me selfish! haha I have pretty much decided I don't want them in my 20's but I'll reassess in my 30s ;). Or even if they are not biological I can adopt later in life! I just don't like when people act like having kids is right for EVERYBODY or the be all end all of life, because I have nothing against having them it just isn't for me! :rainbow: :peace: :)
i think that idea is okay overpopulation is a pro8lem
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I don't think it is a problem. It is a personal choice not to want kids. I'm 33 and have no plans to have children.
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Having kids is a major commitment. There is nothing wrong I you don't want them. What would be wrong ha having then when you know you don't and not being the parent you SHOULD be! Live your life now and if you decide later to have them, then it's your choice!!!
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Having children is a very personal choice. No one should feel pressured to have children "to fit in" with society.
I think it is good that you are thinking about this; evaluating what you want in your life. At 21, you have wisdom to see that children at this age would not be what you want. You have a lot of years ahead of you to have children.
For now, go ahead and "travel, enjoy my present family and friends and being an uncle, experience things with my partner that having kids sometimes inhibits..." because once you have children, your life definitely changes.
do not feel selfish or guilty!
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It's up to each person if they want kids. I don't think society pushes it on people either.
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If you don't want kids I don't think there is anything wrong with that. It is a very personal choice and being a parent isn't for everyone. It's better to not have children, then to have them and resent them.
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I think less people are getting married and having kids which is okay, no one should feel pressured to do so (though unfortunately people are)...and more people are waiting until later in life...part of the reasons I think are: financial, living longer, wanting to do more while younger before having responsibility, less maturity, and the ability to adopt (which is wonderful!)
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Just remember, if you don't have any kids, there is a good chance you won't have any grandkids and you would be missing a lot.
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I'm in my 30s, I don't have any kids, and don't want any. As for that thing about being selfish, I've heard of it and think it's ridiculous.
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Too Late, I have two children.
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I think it is up to the individual person. There is nothing wrong with having children or not having children.
I see people every day that have children and are not good parents at all. That's sad. I also bellieve it is unselfish to adopt children. I personally am a parent of three and love being a parent. :heart:
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When I was a young girl, I never thought I'd have kids. When I reached my twenties I didn't want any kids - ever! I considered children selfish, greedy and dirty! (Sorry). As I grew into my late twenties and figured it would be silly to commit to never having children so I decided to keep my options open - never say never! Then when I reached my early thirties I decided it might be nice to, one day, consider the possibility of having children. I recalled all the thoughts I use to have about children being selfish and greedy, but I realized that children are a project that you need to work at. Perhaps I was willing. In my late thirties I realized I wouldn't have the opportunity to have children for much longer so I decided to have children. I got two boys and they are now 8 and 10. Now I realize I was never living on Planet Penwoir! Having children is a real blessing and a project not to be entered into lightly. They take a lot of work, a lot of patience and commitment. But, when you are ready, if you become ready, they are the best thing that you could ever be blessed with.
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I think that it is a very personal decision that the both of you must make... I think too often people (esp. women) hurry to marry so that they can have children, but then they mature and realize that their partner wasn't really enthused about kids, or even that the marriage was rushed into too quickly. And the reason why I say more women do this is that they feel the pressure of their biological clock so want to have kids earlier in life.
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I think a person lifestyle has a lot to do with their decision to have children. If you are a busy on-the go person with an active social life, it would probably be best to delay having children because kids need love and attention, they need to feel that they are important in the life of their parent and if a parent is too involved to be attentive to a child, maybe they should not have them. I think having kids is great. I am blessed to have children and they are very supportive in my old age, (I do not mean financially, but, if I needed that I feel, actually, I know they would be supportive in that way also) they call, text or come by daily, always include us in their life, and make sure we are not lonely. We gave our kids plenty of attention and now they are giving us plenty of attention.
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When I was younger I was sure I wanted kids. Now I've been leaning towards not having them. I'm still leaving the door open tough, I could change my mind. If I were to have kids I'd wait until I was in my 30's. Which isn't too far away anymore. At least right now I think it would be selfish of me to have them. I know how I am and I enjoy doing what I want to right now.
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Anyone that doesn't want kids best not have any. Kids are a very long tiring job so you need to want them first.
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There is no problem with that. I chose to have one child. I've advised my daughter not to have any. The world is such a sick place to bring a child in to now days and it is only going to get worse.
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Then you'll probably be alone without a family in your senior years, but your still young, so enjoy your youth, and your mind about of having kids will change as you get older.
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I think having children is an individual decision; not everyone is cut out to be a parent. Some people have no business having children as they are unable to take care of them financially, emotionally or otherwise. I waited till I was 30 to have my first child and I sure don't regret waiting. They are a very big responsibility and if you're not mature enough in your 20's or you simply don't want children then I would advise waiting and reassessing later in life. We had our last child at 40 and I don't advise waiting that long lol. Those sleepless nights are a lot harder at 40 than they were at 30 lol!
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I think this is a personal choice and nobody should say anything if you decide not to have kids. For me, it was a given. I love kids and regret sometimes that I only had one.
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Then you'll probably be alone without a family in your senior years, but your still young, so enjoy your youth, and your mind about of having kids will change as you get older.
I was raised with the expectation that I'd get married and have kids. I woke up in my 20's and decided I not only didn't want kids, I don't want to deal with kids. Now I'm in my 50's and I don't regret it one little bit. Having kids (or grandkids) aren't for everyone and people who decide not to have kids won't necessarily change their minds when they get older.
There are lots of ways to do things for kids without having them. Donate school supplies, support organizations, donate coats or Christmas presents, etc.
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It's a personal choice to want them or not, having them unexpected would be the twist!
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I cannot imagine how my life would be like without any children. My children molded me into the person I am today. A loving, caring, responsible, dependable, understanding person.
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I think it up to each individual and couples. I have one grown son but I wanted to have a child with my husband and we have to been able to have one. My son was an xboyfriend and so we have been married this October for 14 years and we have not been able to get pregnant and have a child and I am going to be 44 and he is going to be 41 so I think its getting pretty close to say that we should stop trying.
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My wife and I couldn't have our own kids so we adopted. Our son is now 17 and he is the joy of our lives. We were READY for him and he has brought such joy and blessing to our lives.
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I'm 40 years old and don't have kids but if God give me a chance to have one, I am more willing and love to experience motherhood.
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I think being a parent is a wonder experience for all of us (even if we adopt). If you're 21, no, you shouldn't have a child in your 20's. This is time for you and your significant other to see the world, find a job, finish school and most importantly save for your future. By mid 30's to 40, you will probably be sound enough to want to have atleast 1 child. Definitely think about it. You don't want to rush into anything, but definitely when you get older you will probably change your mind.
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I think it's perfectly OK to not want kids and that definitely anybody who doesn't want them shouldn't have them. They are an enormous time and emotional investment and you have to be perfectly behind the idea of having kids if you are to raise them properly. I have one daughter who doesn't want kids and one who just had a child and I fully support both girls' decisions.
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I am only 21 so this is completely hypothetical lol, unless I god forbid had a baby with a girl haha. But do you think being a parent is a needed thing and/or that society kind of pushes that its "so great to have them" on us. Some people call it selfish but if wanting to travel, enjoy my present family and friends and being an uncle, experience things with my partner that having kids sometimes inhibits...then call me selfish! haha I have pretty much decided I don't want them in my 20's but I'll reassess in my 30s ;). Or even if they are not biological I can adopt later in life! I just don't like when people act like having kids is right for EVERYBODY or the be all end all of life, because I have nothing against having them it just isn't for me! :rainbow: :peace: :)
I never had children. Now that my husband is dead, I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have grown children or grand children to share my life with. But I can say that I enjoyed the life I had with my hubby of 39 years. So many things we did that we could not have done with children. That is a decision you have to make for yourself. BMaston12
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I don't have kids, I'm 51. But it does scare me having a kid who looks like me.
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Having a family has been the most important aspect of my life. You would miss out on the most wonderful years. However, I fully agree that you need to be ready to have kids. Waiting until your 30's to reassess your situation is wise.
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I think that if a person doesn't want children they shouldn't have them. Everyone should respect their choice. There are too many kids out there being neglected, abused, etc. If a person doesn't plan on being a parent for the rest of their life, they shouldn't have a baby.
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I don't want kids. I'm 28 and I've been saying it for a while too. I already told my mom and some other family members if someday i end up pregnant it would be an accident. But of course I would keep it. But for now my decision on having kids is a no no. I don't need them. BUT I am gonna be an aunt for the first time. My brother is having his first kid. His gf is already a mom to a kid with another guy but yeah. Still pretty awesome.
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I think more people should consider it. There are so many people that have children and do not put the effort needed into raising them. Many people have kids because they think they are supposed to (society's social clock) when in reality they may not have what it takes to be a good parent.
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The choice of having kids is in the end a matter of preference. I think there is a stigma of a person being without a child much like people not having a partner/spouse. I think there was a movement of representing this classifying people as "child free" instead of childless as if the occurance was a bad thing. Yes there are people who shouldn't have chldren as they're irresponsible, but people do live healthy and satisifying lives without a child to. Some people do like their freedom to do what they want.
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I've never ever had any desire to have kids so for me this is a great idea.
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I love kids but I don't feel kids are meant for everyone but I prefer kids
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I thought having my son is the most beautiful that ever happen in my life.
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Different strokes for different folks although some people should definitely not been able to have had children! If you decide to have them you should give them all the love that you possibly can. Your entire life needs to revolve around that child. I wanted children when I was twenty two but never really wanted a spouse. Kind of hard to make that equation work. I waited until I was in my thirties and am constantly rewarded with their accomplishments. I couldn't have done it on my own and have a great deal of admiration for single parents that are able to take time for, listen to, and provide love to their children. It is a huge commitment but my commitment has paid off and I give Thanks every day for my two children.
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My husband I do not have kids yet. I am 26 and he will be 32 soon. I want kids. It just has not happened for us yet. I feel like it is a personal choice whether or not you want to have children. You have to prepared because it is a huge change. But definitely a blessing.
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I am only 21 so this is completely hypothetical lol, unless I god forbid had a baby with a girl haha. But do you think being a parent is a needed thing and/or that society kind of pushes that its "so great to have them" on us. Some people call it selfish but if wanting to travel, enjoy my present family and friends and being an uncle, experience things with my partner that having kids sometimes inhibits...then call me selfish! haha I have pretty much decided I don't want them in my 20's but I'll reassess in my 30s ;). Or even if they are not biological I can adopt later in life! I just don't like when people act like having kids is right for EVERYBODY or the be all end all of life, because I have nothing against having them it just isn't for me! :rainbow: :peace: :)
You are 21 so you have plenty of time...by all means enjoy your life...and when you decide to have children it brings a new joy to your life...I always say you can regret not having children but never regret having them...it can be difficult like anything else in life but kids are great!
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I was pretty sure I never wanted to kids and even though I was married we ended up not having our daughter until I was late 20s. People do not mind their own business and are always asking if and when you are having kids.
And after you have one, they want to know if you are having another. NOT A BABY FACTORY!
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Enjoy your life. You are just getting started. Even if you never have kids, you can still have a positive affect on those around you.
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To have children or not is a personal choice and you should not feel pressured to have a child just because family and friends feel you should.
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I'm about 90% sure that I never want any children. I don't see it as selfish or why anyone else should be concerned with my decisions. I think children are great, just not for me at this point in my life.
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It is up to YOU! Having children is a big responsibility and life long commitment. I have seen a lot of people that should have thought it through a little more and not had them. They are just miserable. The biggest advantage to having kids though is :heart: :thumbsup: GRANDKIDS, they are a blast! Besides at 21 you have a lot of time to decide.
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Everyone is entitled to their own decisions...to each their own.
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It's definitely a personal choice. I actually think society is going the other way, encouraging people to have kids later if at all. I personally believe that biologically, that's what we were designed to do and it's necessary to maintain life, which is why some people feel it's the "be all end all of life", because really, it is. If we all stopped having kids, the human race would die out. So, yeah. Lol But I don't think EVERYONE needs to (or should) have kids. There are enough people who want kids to keep the world going.
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Having kids is a personal decision, and it requires a lot of commitment and responsibility. It is not an easy job!
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I always wanted children and I already have a teenage daughter, but as to the decision of having kids, this is up to the person's choosing. I know with certain families and even cultures there is a lot of pressure surrounding this, but if a person is content without children, then that's fine. There is a pro and con for both scenarios.
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I want to have kids someday, but I completely respect people who don't want to. I think it's unfair to force parenthood on anyone.
Plus, how many ineffective or negligent parents out there only had children because they felt obligated to do so? I'd rather people be secure and happy in their lifestyle than for them to feel pressured into something they don't want by societal standards. And we'll ease up on that population overflow that way too :)
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I think that is up to the couple actually, some people are good parent material some are not and some don't know they are until they have a child!
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I have 2 children and I could not be happier. I had my first child at the age of 18 and waited 8 years after that and had my second one. I am now 39 and can not have anymore children. I have had cervical cancer and after that, I started getting grapefruit sized tumors on my ovaries. Needless to I had to have them taken out. I thank god now for the children I do have and so happy that I did not wait.
Kids are a blessing, but it is peoples chioce to have them when they are ready. And for those that can not have children of their own, I do feel bad for, especially the ones that really want them. My neice is going through it right now and finally is getting her chance with adoption.
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you do whats best for you. don't worry about what other people think. I was never able to have kids. i just wanted to experience it once and was unable to.
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I used to always want children but now that I am 30 I don't think that I do.
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To each his/her own on this one. I couldn't imagine life without my daughter for sure.
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I don't want kids tbh. Respect people's wishes.
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I have 2 children and as much I as love and care about them....being a parent...wasn't a natural fit for me. I had religious programming and felt obligated to conceive and raise children. I no longer think that's a good reason for having children.
Some people would think that everyone is supposed to "multiply and replenish the earth"; however, we've been there, done that. In some places the earth is over populated and the universe is attempting to bring population into balance.
Follow your heart and always do what you feel is best for yourself. :heart:
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actually I thought about this and I think that kids are insolent and expensive especially on a tight budget
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Too many people have children who shouldn't be parents! I have two grown daughters...one in her mid-thirties; the other in her mid-forties. Neither wanted children for the longest time. In fact, my youngest daughter is married and still has no plans for children. She likes her life the way it is. I respect this decision and have never pushed her.
My oldest daughter decided to have a child in her mid-thirties and is glad she did. However, the caveat is that she did not want another one after having my granddaughter. She said, "One is enough for me!" I respect that decision also. Although she has been a very good mother, she really does not have the temperment to have more children. She knew herself enough to understand this also. Kudos to both my kids for knowing who and what they want!!!
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In this day and time, I think it is a wise choice. I am so glad my daughter is now raised. I thought it was a rough time to raise her when she was growing up due to the evil worldly influences. I can only imagine what kids will be subjected to in the next 10 - 20 years. They don't seem to be allowed to be children any more. They are thrusted in to what use to be the world for adults.
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If you have the patient, I would say go for it. But patient is not the only virtue. You need to have money to raise children. They cost more than a mortgage. They need a lot of attention.
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there's nothing wrong with not wanting kids. you're still young so you never know, you might change your mind when you're older. I would much rather someone NOT have kids if they didn't want them than to have to hear about even more children being abused because they were begrudged and unwanted.
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Having kids is a very personal choice. But if they want to be born...just let be!
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It all depends on if you like kids. If you don't will not having kids is OK. It's not for everyone. I don't really like kids, but I have 5 daughter and I love them very much. I'm not lovy dovy but, I do love them and I show my love in different ways.
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Well I want kids that's,that but it will take some time.
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I want kids, but I want to adopt them. Every time I say this I usually get "Why don't you have your OWN kids?" Very frustrating response; especially from men. Like I don't want my ladybits torn apart, thank you very much. Even then, I don't want to adopt til I'm late 30s.
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there are several other ways to have kids in your life if you change your mind later...adopt
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kids are dumb, they cost too much and they are too much trouble
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Well, I wouldn't consider having more than 2 biological children if at all because I don't want to risk overpopulation.
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Killer2, having kids is lots of work and it takes a special kind of person to be a Mother or a Father. You are still young and you might change your mind when you get older, but kids are such a joy to have around, I have two and there is nothing in this world I could take for them. Now I have five grandchildren and they also make life worth living to see yourself in them and to know you will not be alone in life and have someone to care for you in your old age because family is everything.
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I always wanted to have children, but alas I only had the two boys (loves of my life), but I also lost 3 little girs. Yeah I wanted one so bad. But if someone never wants children that is your choice. But I am so glad I had mine.
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To be honest, I never wanted to have children; I did not want to have an expensive child such as myself. With the rigorous demands of my career (and the mounting student loan debt that I am currently repaying), I honestly do not have the time, income, nor patience to divert my resources to supporting a child. My boyfriend, however, has children that I simply adore beyond all measure!
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I don't see any problem with that choice; but if it is not your choice - say you want to but can't for what ever reason...that would be very tough.
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i think it is more in what each person wants i have one child and would love to have one more but only have a couple more years to make this a possibility i will be extremely saddened if i cant have another but am grateful for the one that i do have
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That has to be each person's choice and is not anyone else's business. I have four grown children but only two were planned. I don't believe in abortion except in extreme cases.
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I really dont know. I never had that thought in my mind. Once i got married all i wanted was kids...
Life without kids is meaning less....
I never thought not having kids?!?!
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I am actually right there with you... I don't really want kids...
The closest i have to kids are my dogs right now.. and although people disagree with me..
I look at my dogs as my kids..
they have feelings, personalities, emotions,
They require medical attention, food, shelter, clothes (when nessisary weather related mostly to cold to wet.. etc..)
they get spoiled.. they get toys.. they have their own space..
SO yeah... They are basically my kids.. and that's about all i need as long as i have my family and my animals (:
That
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It's a personal choice. More people should explore this option in life. Not everyone is cut out to be a parent. I also hate when people berate others for not having children.
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Frankly, I think it's a bit selfish for people to go out of their way not to have kids. I personally would like to have kids, but there's the little matter of finding a wife first!
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I think it is a personal choice, I never had any not because I did not want to but unfortunately health issues never allowed, but I think that is something for everyone to decide for themselves.
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I think this is a personal decision and should not be pushed on anyone. For me it was never any doubt I would have kids. I love kids. Unfortunately, I only had one child, but I love her and in a couple of months she is going to make me a grandmother. So excited.
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My son and his wife waited. she was 30, he was 29. My first (and only) grand baby is 9 months, and will probably be their only child since they waited so long and their life is so busy. Your choice, but don't wait til it's too late to make the decision.
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that one of the thing that you came to earth for its to make bodies for God's children that is still in heaven.
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it is what you decide . you are your own person and you can do whatever you want. I had friends that waited until the late 30s to have kids. I myself had kids at 23 and my kids are grown now. yes I am going to be 46 soon and I am enjoying life now as well. good luck and have fun traveling.
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I believe that society (as a whole) "expects" people to have children, especially at a certain age. But I personally decided not to have them. I am an "always on the go" individual with a time-consuming career that would ill-afford me the time to dedicate to raising a child(ren).
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It's all a personal choice but it will be your choice and that is all that matters. I have 2 children. My first child came when I was 32 and my second when I was almost 38.
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It is choice that many women make about having children. Some want them and some do not. Then there are those who have them, but shouldn't. Babies can't choose their parents because so many parents are mentally deficient and should never have babies.
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I think I'm too much of a screw up in my own life to ever make my kids suffer through that. I've accepted that I'll never have any.
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I never wanted kids and was told I couldn't have them. I met my fiancé and it changed my mind, I got pregnant when I was 21 and my daughter is the best thing that ever happened to me. But kids are definitely not for everyone.
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I think it is perfectly OK not to have kids. My daughter doesn't want them, and neither do my two brothers. If you are going to feel resentful of your children because they take so much time away from other stuff you want to do, you definitely should not have them. Children deserve your full love and attention and if you just can't give that, you shouldn't even try.
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I am only 21 so this is completely hypothetical lol, unless I god forbid had a baby with a girl haha. But do you think being a parent is a needed thing and/or that society kind of pushes that its "so great to have them" on us. Some people call it selfish but if wanting to travel, enjoy my present family and friends and being an uncle, experience things with my partner that having kids sometimes inhibits...then call me selfish! haha I have pretty much decided I don't want them in my 20's but I'll reassess in my 30s ;). Or even if they are not biological I can adopt later in life! I just don't like when people act like having kids is right for EVERYBODY or the be all end all of life, because I have nothing against having them it just isn't for me! :rainbow: :peace: :)
I never had kids and don't regret it. My husband died last year and I did think about what it would be like having kids to comfort me. But I did not and am actually enjoying my new life. I have more time to volunteer and do the things I want to do. It is my time now. BMaston12
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To be honest I sometimes wish I had never had kids. I have two sons and they are very good in their way and have really for the most part never given me any trouble. Kids are a lot of work and take up most of your life though. Now my grown sons live with me since their dad died and they think they are able to boss me around and tell me how things are supposed to be done. Oh well I guess other wise I would be alone but that isn't the worst thing in the world either.
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I am 38 and I never want to have any kids ever. That whole thing takes all your time and I like my time for me.
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I know i defentilty want to have kids, i do not want to be old and have no family, family really fills the home with love and i would hate to miss out on that.
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Kids, yours or not, love them!