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Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: cateyes1 on August 09, 2018, 02:32:59 am
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My Son will email me saying he loves me but he tells me to never expect to hear it in person????. I know my late husband came from a family who didn't know how to show feelings and was told that since he married me he learnt how. My family is the type that we say I love you to one another and hug when we get together. Do you express feelings? and why cant some NOT express feelings. My daughter is more like me but my son is so different, is it a guy thing? I showed love to BOTH my kids in the same way :(
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I think it's kind of ingrained in men that it's not 'manly' to show emotion or vulnerability. Perhaps some men don't know how to translate their feelings into words. Maybe they have been hurt before and have built a 'wall' to protect themselves from being hurt again. Maybe they are going through some internal battles or stress.
My dad is pretty closed off. He hugs me and says he loves me when I visit, but for the most part, we don't have much of a relationship. He never calls or emails me. He never visits. We don't have much to talk about when we do see each other, which is only once or twice a year. My siblings are very upset by his 'lack of interest and affection', and I can understand that. But I can also see it from his side. It's just not the kind of guy he is. He never did show his feelings. I don't expect him to suddenly start now. But I don't doubt that he loves us. He just doesn't know how to show it.
People can show love in lots of ways without using words. If your son tells you he loves you, whether he writes it down or sends you a text or says it out loud, just trust that he means it. He loves you.
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I think it's kind of ingrained in men that it's not 'manly' to show emotion or vulnerability. Perhaps some men don't know how to translate their feelings into words. Maybe they have been hurt before and have built a 'wall' to protect themselves from being hurt again. Maybe they are going through some internal battles or stress.
My dad is pretty closed off. He hugs me and says he loves me when I visit, but for the most part, we don't have much of a relationship. He never calls or emails me. He never visits. We don't have much to talk about when we do see each other, which is only once or twice a year. My siblings are very upset by his 'lack of interest and affection', and I can understand that. But I can also see it from his side. It's just not the kind of guy he is. He never did show his feelings. I don't expect him to suddenly start now. But I don't doubt that he loves us. He just doesn't know how to show it.
People can show love in lots of ways without using words. If your son tells you he loves you, whether he writes it down or sends you a text or says it out loud, just trust that he means it. He loves you.
I'm so sorry your Dad is like that :( OMG when it came to the part of my son I just burst out crying, I hope he loves me as much as I love him. Its just nice to hear it once in awhile....You know your Dad loves you too !!....I guess it is hard for some guys....kind of sad
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I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make you cry! Sending you a (((hug)))! :heart:
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My daughter and I don't show our feelings very often, but my grandson who is her 2 year old wants a hug and kiss all the time.
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Just as people differ, so do their expressions of love.
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My family and I hug every time we see each other. But I have a very hard time saying "I love you"......I feel it but can't say it. I guess the rest of the family is that way too.....we've never been big on "I love you"s :heart: :heart: :heart:
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I think it’s a people thing. I don’t know anything about my dad, he died when I was 5. I can honestly say my mother never hugged, kissed, or told me she loved me in my entire life. I married into a family that hugs, kisses, and always leaves with I love you. At first it felt very strange to me, but I grew to love the affection they give.
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My family is the type that doesn't express emotions.
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I saw the comment on here about men... trying to be manly, not knowing how to express their feelings, etc. It's kind of sad to me that some people believe that. It's not a man thing or a woman thing. It's just people. If this is something you are seriously interesting in, I suggest you study up on personality types. There are plenty of woman who express their feelings openly and plenty who never show it. The same goes for men. Different personality types handle this thing differently. Simple as that.
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I don't think it is a man thing because my side of the family always seems to show their feeling and my nephews always give me a kiss on the cheek and a hug. My husband side is very different and you are lucky if you can get them to even say hi.
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I saw the comment on here about men... trying to be manly, not knowing how to express their feelings, etc. It's kind of sad to me that some people believe that. It's not a man thing or a woman thing. It's just people. If this is something you are seriously interesting in, I suggest you study up on personality types. There are plenty of woman who express their feelings openly and plenty who never show it. The same goes for men. Different personality types handle this thing differently. Simple as that.
If you were referring to my comment, there have been studies on this. Men, as a whole, are just as emotional as women, if not more, but they are better at disguising or hiding it. Of course, personality plays into it as well. If you're looking at it on an individual level, then yes, everyone is different, male or female.
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My family was always kissy huggy. I'm not like that. My husband's family wasn't like that either. His parents never told him they loved him. His mother always complained about how he ruined her social life, etc. His father was a little nicer, but still 'no touch' so my husband is like that, too, now that we're oldies. Last hug I got was when my mom died and then I had to go to him. Looking on the bright side, at least we rarely fight. I can't remember the last fight we had. I think it was about 30 years ago. :)
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That makes a person lonely especially if you are a hugger.
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My son hugs me real tight every time he sees me. He rarely initiate
phone calls or messages. I know he loves me but he doesn't say it much. I tell him I love him always.
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My family are huggers and kissers, so we show love.
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I am a liker, lover, hugger and have no problem showing my feelings
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I don't want to do this.
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i wear my emotions on my sleeves . I have no problem showing others how i feel like in church when we get a few minutes during the middle of the service to greet one another
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:party: :glasses-nerdy: :silly: I'm sure its a guy/boy thing they do. Why who knows. ???Would seem nice to hear it in person or on the telephone once an awhile. Guys/boys are strange though. :party: :glasses-nerdy: :silly:
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I am from the old school where the little things matter in life. So showing your feelings with just a simple letter. hug to just a smile means so much.
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My Son will email me saying he loves me but he tells me to never expect to hear it in person????. I know my late husband came from a family who didn't know how to show feelings and was told that since he married me he learnt how. My family is the type that we say I love you to one another and hug when we get together. Do you express feelings? and why cant some NOT express feelings. My daughter is more like me but my son is so different, is it a guy thing? I showed love to BOTH my kids in the same way :(
Hello! :D :)
I'm pretty good at showing my emotions. I'm a loving caring person and I'm not afraid to show it. I think for a man it's a bit different as it is viewed as a sign of weakness or maybe when some man showed too much emotion they got hurt badly. I think it is important to show emotions as we never know when we will get the chance again. :heart: :rose: :heart: :rose: :heart: :rose: :heart: :rose: :heart: :rose: :heart: :rose: :heart: :rose: :heart: :rose: :heart: :rose: :heart: :rose: :heart: :rose: :heart: :rose: :heart: :rose: :heart: :rose: :heart: :rose: :heart: :rose: :heart: :rose:
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I am a very loving with my family and even my friends. I use to work at walmart and I would hug some of the customers. I made a lot of friends.
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Some people have never experienced the way to show their feelings, so it is very hard for them to display affection. We tend to act in ways that we had perhaps growning up and if someone did not see that in their home from others around them they may find it difficult to do as an adult. Does not mean they do not care; it's just difficult for them to show.