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Messages - dguernsey1

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106
Debate & Discuss / Re: How do you know if your a good parent?
« on: December 12, 2011, 03:47:27 pm »Message ID: 460316
someone once told me, "if you are worried about being a good parent, you are a good parent" This dosnt mean that you will always make good choices, say the right things, or never have to apologize to your child. We are only human after all. Just love unconditionaly, be firm when you need to be, use disapline wisely, and issue many, many I love yous and hugs....

107
Off-Topic / clean joke....or not!
« on: December 12, 2011, 03:31:20 pm »Message ID: 460307
A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention.
She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.

The teacher told him to go down to the principals office. He was told to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did and returned to his class.

Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his private parts hanging out.

"I thought I told you to call your mom!" she said.

"I did," he said, "And she told me that if I could stick it out until lunchtime, shed come and pick me up from school."  :icon_rr:

108
Off-Topic / Re: corny joke!
« on: December 12, 2011, 03:27:20 pm »Message ID: 460304
what....I said it was corny.....=))

109
Off-Topic / corny joke!
« on: December 12, 2011, 12:56:26 pm »Message ID: 460232
Why did the one-handed man cross the road? ???.................... To get to the second hand shop? :dontknow:

110
Off-Topic / Re: Make the Money, Don't Let it Make You!
« on: December 12, 2011, 12:43:54 pm »Message ID: 460229
 i realize this is an old post.....HELP ME! :BangHead:

111
Suggestions / Re: How does everyone make so much money on here??
« on: December 12, 2011, 12:36:27 pm »Message ID: 460227
iv been here for a few weeks and have made 21.00...but I dont spend that much time ...The ones getting paid, have been here longer, and spend much more time completing offers. The more offers, the more you get paid. You get paid more for offers that require a purchase of some sort. If you can use this site for all your online shopping, (if your doing it anyway), then you will surley see more cash coming your way.  I dont use my debit card on line, so I will never make the cash that others do. I do plan to soon, but I dont have a steady income, so I dont have alot of funds in my account to spare. But even the free offers give you something, and along with posting, its more than 0.00... :icon_rr:

112
Off-Topic / Re: What is your middle name?
« on: December 12, 2011, 12:21:29 pm »Message ID: 460218
My middle name is Joy.  :heart:  as is my mother, daughter :female: and grand daughter. :binkybaby:

113
Off-Topic / Re: how many times a day do you eat
« on: December 12, 2011, 11:48:08 am »Message ID: 460214
I try to eat 3 meals a day, because Im underweight. If I have breackfast, my appetite is realy good, but if I skip breackfast, then my appitite is poor...and I wont eat at all....go figure!  :dontknow:

114
Off-Topic / Re: doggone funny.
« on: November 27, 2011, 03:01:23 pm »Message ID: 451821
your welcome :bunny:

115
Off-Topic / Re: clean joke
« on: November 27, 2011, 03:00:13 pm »Message ID: 451820
 :D that is hilarious..thanxs!

116
Off-Topic / doggone funny.
« on: November 27, 2011, 01:45:48 pm »Message ID: 451784
 wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet dachshund along for company. One day, the dachshund starts chasing butterflies and before long the dachshund discovers that he is lost.

So, wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having him for lunch. The dachshund thinks, "OK, I'm in deep trouble now!" Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dachshund exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here." Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees. "Whew," says the leopard. "That was close. That dachshund nearly had me." Meanwhile, a monkey, who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes.

But the dachshund saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine." Now the dachshund sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks, "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet ... and, just when they get close enough to hear, the dachshund says..................

"Where's that darn monkey? Sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard."

117
Off-Topic / Bedside Manners
« on: November 27, 2011, 01:43:02 pm »Message ID: 451783



Susie's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months. Things looked grim, but she was by his bedside every single day. One day as he slipped back into consciousness, he motioned for her to come close to him. She pulled the chair close to the bed and leaned her ear close to be able to hear him.

"You know" he whispered, his eyes filling with tears, "you have been with me through all the bad times. When I got fired, you stuck right beside me. When my business went under, there you were. When we lost the house, you were there. When I got shot, you stuck with me. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. "And you know what?"

"What, dear?" she asked gently, smiling to herself.

"I think you're bad luck."

 

118
Off-Topic / clean joke
« on: November 27, 2011, 01:33:53 pm »Message ID: 451781
While cleaning the attic, Joan and Harry found an old stub for some shoes they left at the repair shop 10 years ago. They thought it would be funny to go to the shop and see if the shoes were still there. So they did. They handed the stub to the repair man who took it and looked in the back. He came out again and said, "They'll be ready on Wednesday." :thumbsup:

119
Off-Topic / miss pall mall
« on: November 27, 2011, 01:26:23 pm »Message ID: 451774
One KOOL evening miss PAUL MALL was walking down CHESTERFIELD lane when she met up with sir WALTER RALEIGH. He took her to the VICEROY hotel and stuck his king size L&M in her crush proof NEWPORT box. If she didn't look like a CAMEL in nine months it was a LUCKY STRIKE.  :icon_rr:

120
Off-Topic / my heart.
« on: November 27, 2011, 01:14:03 pm »Message ID: 451763
My heart belongs to him, but I cant have him because the one who cant let me go , is sick.
What do you do when your in love with some one, but the one you'v spent 20 married years too, wont be around long... I still love him, but not the same anymore.  He's an alcoholic, angry, broken..and I have tried in vain to help him, to stand behind him when his sister died at 22, and the his mother killed herself, exactly 1 year later. Only god can help him, but he's too angry..even for that..We split up for 3 years, just long enough for me to fall in love with someone  again. Then he got sick  and recieved a death sentence of 5 years. so, because its the right thing to do..at least in my heart, is to be with him till the end..Im trying to be a good wife and take care of him, like I should....while at the same time, cant get the other, out of my head.  All I can do is write about it....all I want to do is cry, but I pray instead. Its not something I can tell anyone...(I dont know why)....please pray for me! Its only been 4 months! 








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