Should I still be there for her?

[missijl]

Here's my story. I live in N.C. and made friends with a girl (we'll call her "Sara") from N.J. who was visiting her then-bf in N.C.. I became friends with her when he ditched her for his friends. The next night, she was already with a new guy. I was nice and let her stay at my house so she didn't have to pay for a hotel room again. She ended up hooking up with three different guys during her visit. (Wait, it gets better.) The guy she ended up with (we'll call him "Jon") ended up being a total jerk. He went to the bar and got wasted when she came down to visit. In return, she slept with his best friend. It was just a fling to get back at him. (Yes, she is very immature!) Anyhow, I got tired of her saying how crappy Jon is to her. She broke up with him, and swore she'd NEVER go back to him. I told her I thought that was a good idea. She went back to N.J. for a month or two. I started to have a lot of problems here in N.C., so she said she'd come to see me. She ended up bringing another girl (who cheats on her fiancee that's in Afghanistan). I didn't really want to be around that girl, but was willing to deal with it. Anyhow, Sara came down to N.C. and didn't even bother to call me and tell me she was here. I was going to leave her a Facebook message, and there on her profile were pictures of her, that other girl, and Jon at a bar here in N.C.! I was so upset at her dishonesty, that I haven't talked to her since. Do you think I should still be there for her the next time he breaks her heart?

[briannajeanxo]

no, you dont deserve someone like that in your life. she sounds a bit crazy.

[Shutmeup3030150]

Definity not, she just sounds like bad news. You dont need crap like that in your life.

[missijl]

That's kind of what I thought (what the two of you above me said), but then I never know if I'm overreacting! Thanks for the input! 

[cherrington17]

if your dying for a quick hook up, it sounds like she probably has some skills.... but i'd run as far from her as possible.

shes treating life like a game, and people like that, eventually drag everyone around them into that mess.  What was a nice gesture on your part, will either become a target for her lust, and everyone else's rage... OR you'll forever be that "rest stop" between guys.  (depending on which flavor of the weekend shes working on)

[SweetBee2010]

That girl has a lot of problems.

[trujillo33]

No she sounds like bad news....pretty sure your life would be better without her.

[navnar10]

No, I think you should move ahead now. I know its easeir to say then do, but that would be best. 

[jusu]

It's time to let her fly on her own. My Sister and I don't speak to this day for a lot less reasons. Don't let yourself get pulled into to a trap that you will never get out of.

[cakestripe]

A person like that doesn't need 'real' friends yet. She will at some point, when she's ready for that, but not right now.

[mrisha]

Your friend sounds like she is totally out of control and one night stands seems to be a favorite hobby of hers.  I think you should distance yourself from her.  The girl is a wreck waiting to happen.

[missijl]

Your friend sounds like she is totally out of control and one night stands seems to be a favorite hobby of hers.  I think you should distance yourself from her.  The girl is a wreck waiting to happen.

It's true about one-night stands being her hobby. She thinks she's popular, but if she could only hear the mean things people say about her. Being married, I just don't want to be around that behavior.

[mommagoes]

i think its safe to say that you should cut ties with her. you tried to help her out and she obviously did not learn her lesson and continued the same stupid behavior so why would you want to submit yourself (and possibly your other friends and family) to someone like that. delete her on facebook and in life because you'll be better off and people like her usually find someone new to use anyways

[amyrouse]

You deserve respect from your friends, and you deserve to have them treat you the way you treat them.

That being said...when you do something good, you shouldn't do it expecting something in return.  Friendship isn't about give and take, its about love and respect.  And if this girl is someone you love (as in friends, nothing else, lol) then you should consider staying her friend.

That being said...(lol, see what I did...I'm flip-flopping like mad here) there comes a time when people need to be cut off.  No one can make that choice but you.  There is a girl who I was friends with for almost a decade, and I got to the point where I was done, and that was it.  My husband thinks I'm being harsh, but I'm completely finished.  On the one hand, I loved her dearly, and part of me still does, but on the other, I got tired of feeling like crap around her when she needed a whipping post.  The final straw was her insulting my mad skillz as a mother, and I haven't gone back.  Its been over a year now, and I feel fine.  Had I gotten an apology, things might have been different.

All in all, I really couldn't tell you either way. If your gut is telling you something, though, you should listen.  Our instincts have a way of knowing what is best for us.  Good luck!

[florezitta10]

Your friend sounds like she is totally out of control and one night stands seems to be a favorite hobby of hers.  I think you should distance yourself from her.  The girl is a wreck waiting to happen.

It's true about one-night stands being her hobby. She thinks she's popular, but if she could only hear the mean things people say about her. Being married, I just don't want to be around that behavior.

I think friendship goes both ways if your being a good friend but she doesn't give a rats behind about you then why go out of your way to help her.