All I need to know I learned from the X-Files

[marieelissa]

Trust No One
Smoking really IS bad
Always make back-ups of your important data
Don't eat at restaurants where the motto is "Good People, Good Food"
The Truth Is Out There
"Nojo on the rojo"
Bambi? Her name is Bambi?
Sometimes you really do get your $29.95's worth from a mail-order video
Deny Everything
If it's iced tea, it's love
If it's root beer, it's fate
If you find an audio cassette in your car, 10-to-1 you can't dance to it.
If there's a white van in your driveway, don't drink the water.
Beware of women named B.J.
Don't pass judgement while in the Arctic
Never scan unidentified metals
Don't look for romance on-line
Don't accept dinner invitations from bald, tattooed, half-naked men
Make sure you remember the birhtdays of people who are inportant to you
No wordrobe is complete without a New York Knicks T-shirt (holes optional), at least one red speedo, and black silk boxers
Sometimes the only thing you can say is "Sure. Fine. Whatever."
Miracles happen
Everyone has on uncle who is an amateur magician.
Just because someone shot you doesn't mean they're not your friend
Never, ever, go into a bathroom
"Go with it"
If you see a cockroach, say hello to the aliens
Recieving Superstars of the Superbowl is a good reason to live
Sometimes simple answers are good. e.g." Why is it so dark in here?" "Because the lights aren't on."