Weekend (Saturday/Sunday) Mini Promotions - Non-Sports Related

[SDuilio]

Q: Where did the vampire open his savings account?

A:  At a blood bank

[TaintedLust]

How do you kill a blonde?



Hide a scratch & sniff sticker on the bottom of a pool.

[queenofnines]

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogie in it!

[cindyhair]

Why can't little kids watch pirate movies?

Because they are all rated arrrh! (rated R)

[edugie]

what lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
 A nervouse wreck!

[vangabhargavi]

Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love,
Susan

Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of scotch.
Santa

[med_student11]

A man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie.
 'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want.'
So he tied her up and went golfing.

[muush88]

Two blonds walk into a building         You'd think one of them would have seen it.

[sgluckadoo]

[Game]
Favorite Joke

[Rules]
 - Post your favorite joke! (Keep it semi-clean please, we do have some children here)
 - First 35 win 3 cents!
 - No survey link (I am going out of town and putting this together as my family honks at me)
 - Winners from Tuesday and this promotion will be paid tomorrow when I get back
 - Behave yourself!

Two peanunts were walking in the park...

one was a-salted.

[ajann1983]

Q. What did Helen Keller do when she fell down the well?
A. She screamed her hands off.

[sands01]

why is 6 afraid of 7? because 7 8 9 (seven ate nine).

Couldn't say my favorite but this one is cute.

[SCarter984]

Fishin' Louisiana Style

Boudreaux been fish'n down by de bayou all day and he done run outa night
crawlers.  He be bout reddy to leave when he seen a snake wif a big frog in his
mouf.  He knowed dat dem big bass fish like dem frogs, so he decided to steal
dat froggie.

Dat snake, he be a cotton mouf water moccasin, so he had to be real careful or
he'd git bit.  He snuk up behin' dat snake and grabbed him roun de haid.

Dat ole snake din't lak dat one bit.  He squirmed and wrap hisself roun
Boudreaux's arm try'n to git hisself free.  But Boudreaux, he had a real good
grip on his haid, yeh.

Well, Boudreaux pried his mouf open and got de frog and puts it in his bait can. 
Now, Boudreaux knows dat he cain't let go dat snake or he's gonna bite him good,
but he had a plan.  He reach into de back pocket of his bibs and pulls out a
pint a moonshine likker.  He pour some drops into de snake's mouf.  Well, dat
snake's eyeballs kinda roll back in his haid and his body go limp.  Wit dat,
Boudreaux toss dat snake into de bayou.  Den he goes back to fishin'.

A while later!  Boudreaux dun feel sumpin' tappin' on his barefoot toe.
He slowly look down and dare wuz dat water moccasin .  .  .  wif two more frogs. 

[mrsbluesmith]

The old Jack Benny favorite: Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

(Lame)

Why did the baby cross the road?
It was stapled to the chicken! 

[lisakin]

There were 3 men who died and before God would let them into heaven, he gave them a chance to come back as anything they wanted.

The first guy said " I want to come back as myself, but 100 times smarter. So God made him 100 times smarter.

The second guy said "I want to be better than that guy, make me 1000 times smarter. So God made him 1000 times smarter.

The last guy decided he would be the best. So he said "God, make me better than both of them, make me 1,000,000 times smarter.

So God made him a woman !!

[Theladyjoker1817]

aww i miss this one why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side but what is the real reason he want to get to his drink he left behind   wife said then why cross the road if your going to leave me behind to... will had to all u do is nag me drink first ask question later