I do understand how difficult it is going back through the past that has shaped our life. It's horrible and I know you probably felt drained when you were done. The thing that always gets me is that even when you tell someone what you went through I don't truly think most people understand the depth of the pain. They hear your words but they don't really listen with their heart.
Coping skills are very good but my problem is taking the time necessary to apply those skills. It is an effort usually and I'm running so fast that I tend to just "feel" what comes natural more quickly than taking the time to think my way through the issue that is troubling me. Comprende?
Yes I got the computer room back in shape and it feels better having gone through and tossing things out that are not important. I got all of my important paperwork filed and feel a little more in control again. I still have some work to do in the bedroom closets but if I have to wait until a weekend after school starts it still will get done.
I'm going to my daughters to visit today. She wants advice on her yard. We've kind of been on the outs lately because of the deal with the camper. (I think I told you about it?) She and I were so very close when she was little but she started changing in her teen years into a personality that I've had a hard time dealing with. I spend a lot of time gritting my teeth when I'm with her. She can be a lot of fun but has a very pompous attitude. She used to put a lot of stock into how much money people had, the amounts they spent on personal items and had married into a family with clout. She threw the money, family name and their alliances around quite a bit. She has since divorced and is now a pauper but claims to be happy but still has that "I am smarter, prettier, can run faster and am the BEST at everything I say and do" attitude. There is nothing humble about her and she isn't interested too much in anything anyone else has to say or their opinions. It's terrible to feel this way about your own child. My other daughter has more money than this one ever had even with her marriage but is more down to earth and would do anything for anybody. She made the statement once that she didn't know where she got her attitude because they both grew up in the same trailor park. (Hey it was a nice park!)
I wish I could get over these feelings when I'm with her because I want to feel as close to her as I did when she was a little girl again.
Enough whining...I'll talk to you more later.