Why does my wife treat me like she does?

[Willie353]

My wife is always putting me down. I walked in on her talking to our son and she told him she is at home alone every Saturday night I Want her to go with me but she refuses. I seems like I cant do anything to please her. Kinda makes me feel I have nothing to live for anymore. Makes me feel like I wish my life was iver any suggestions?

[Theladyjoker1817]

  will if she doesnt want to go out bring her something that you remember her how you to got together she wants to feel the love so be surprising make her want you. make dinner for her. breakfast in bed nice walk around movies in bed love her like you always loved her set the mood

[Debj1951]

First of all, where do you go on Saturday nights that she doesn't want to go? Maybe it is something she just doesn't enjoy. When I was married, I looked forward to the time hubby went out (not drinking) with his friends so I could have some 'me' time. Also, how is your relationship other wise? We fought like cats & dogs & if I saw a male I knew & spoke, there was H-ll to pay! Many times we would run into my step dad's relatives & I couldn't ignore them, but hated talking to them because I knew at some point I would get yelled at. (The men only) I was called alll kinds of names, belittled, etc yet expected to be romantic. I am not saying this is your fault, maybe she has just lost interest, but the first place to look is within yourself & what you may be doing wrong. When he was drinking, he was evil & I just couldn't get over the treament & things he said to me.

Happily divorced for 25 years this month.

[mawhite63]

Well, what does she want to do on Saturday nights? I'm not trying to make this seem like it's 100% your fault, but you're not giving us a whole lot of information to go on here. All I'm reading is that you're going out to a place she doesn't want to go. How long have you been going to whatever you're going to? 

[Willie353]

Well, what does she want to do on Saturday nights? I'm not trying to make this seem like it's 100% your fault, but you're not giving us a whole lot of information to go on here. All I'm reading is that you're going out to a place she doesn't want to go. How long have you been going to whatever you're going to? 

I am a musician I am making music on the weekends. It not just that it seems she is always yelling at me and putting me down it doesnt mattter whatI do im always wrong

[angelhome]

My wife is always putting me down. I walked in on her talking to our son and she told him she is at home alone every Saturday night I Want her to go with me but she refuses. I seems like I cant do anything to please her. Kinda makes me feel I have nothing to live for anymore. Makes me feel like I wish my life was iver any suggestions?

where do you go that she doesn't like to go? if it is important to  you that she go with you, I am sure it is equally important to her that you perhaps spend Sat. nite at home with her? Do you love her enough to stay home with her?

[angelhome]

Well, what does she want to do on Saturday nights? I'm not trying to make this seem like it's 100% your fault, but you're not giving us a whole lot of information to go on here. All I'm reading is that you're going out to a place she doesn't want to go. How long have you been going to whatever you're going to? 

I am a musician I am making music on the weekends. It not just that it seems she is always yelling at me and putting me down it doesnt mattter whatI do im always wrong

OHHHHH I think I understand. My son use to play music in the bars all the time. he does all originals, writes, sings, plays. I told him for years he would never do anything with his music
until he gave it to GOD. in 1990 he did that, today he plays across the world, has many CD's out. home about 3 weeks out of a year. doing well. Wife no longer objects. son's name is TedPearce

[cubarican210]

Well, what does she want to do on Saturday nights? I'm not trying to make this seem like it's 100% your fault, but you're not giving us a whole lot of information to go on here. All I'm reading is that you're going out to a place she doesn't want to go. How long have you been going to whatever you're going to? 

I am a musician I am making music on the weekends. It not just that it seems she is always yelling at me and putting me down it doesnt mattter whatI do im always wrong

Well this situation reminds me of my uncle and his wife. My uncle's the musician who goes out and plays and sings for everyone else's entertainment. In the beginning she would go with him but then she just got tired of all the noise and she never had his complete attention because the female fans would be all over him. Especially, after they had kids together, she would definitely stay home. It's like he didn't have enough time to be with her. She eventually got tired and wanted to leave but for the benefit of the kids she stayed with him. She is very unhappy. All of our family can just see that she isn't happy. We wouldn't blame her at all for wanting to leave. That's just my uncle's situation. I'm not saying it's going to happen with you. Just be careful and give her your time and I know you may seem enthusiastic about your career but don't bombard her with that. It's obviously something that she doesn't want to hear day in and day out.

[ULuvCeCe]

Well, what does she want to do on Saturday nights? I'm not trying to make this seem like it's 100% your fault, but you're not giving us a whole lot of information to go on here. All I'm reading is that you're going out to a place she doesn't want to go. How long have you been going to whatever you're going to? 

I am a musician I am making music on the weekends. It not just that it seems she is always yelling at me and putting me down it doesnt mattter whatI do im always wrong

Have you always been a musician, as in you were doing this before you became married or is this something you just decided to start doing? I really do not want to sound mean but you asked for advice so, if you were doing it before then she's probably tired of your aspiring if it's not going anywhere. If this is something you just started she probably thinks you're crazy, mid life crisis and would rather not promote this by going with you in hopes that eventually you'll grow out of it.

Also, how old is your son/children, are they old enough to watch themselves or does she have to find a sitter, pay a sitter etc etc? Have you thought about staying home on a Saturday so she can go out with her friends while you stay home, cause she could have made that comment meaning she'd like to get out - without you!

[dreamyxo]

Have you talked to her about it?  She sounds unhappy.  Has she always treated you like this or is this something recent? 

[lucky382001]

I agree with dreamy that you should talk to her about it. keep in mind that their also are people that you never can please because they don't know what they want anyway.
Good luck to you.

[angie828]

Have you talked to her about this?  Is she aware that she is doing it?  I think that you need to find out what is going on. Has she always done this or just lately?  Is she under stress?  Or are you both under stress?  I suggest you sit and talk to her about it.

[akashawolfe]

Think back to when you were dating?  What did you do together to have fun?   Do you still do any of this?  Where do you go and what do you do on Saturday night that she doesn't wanna join you?   

Has your wife gained weight, is she uncomfortable about her body image?  That might be an issue...   Do you make her feel attractive in front of others?   The only thing syou can do is learn to communicate again with one another.  I wish you both the best.   

[Tresbn00]

Not only are men and women a different sex but they also seem to be a completely different species.  Men say one word to a woman's ten.  The percentage of marriages that last more than twenty years is pitifully small.  A lack of appreciation on the part of both partners contributes to this percentage. This is why the ashleymadison website (designed for cheating on your spouse) is doing so well and it's statistics rise dramatically after holidays used to appreciate your significant other.  I have been married 17 years but still see it this way.

[Annella]

My wife is always putting me down. I walked in on her talking to our son and she told him she is at home alone every Saturday night I Want her to go with me but she refuses. I seems like I cant do anything to please her. Kinda makes me feel I have nothing to live for anymore. Makes me feel like I wish my life was iver any suggestions?

Willie353, you have said on other threads that you are a Christian.  Don't ever say you have nothing to live for, or you wish your life was over. Marriage is work, life is work. if you are a Christian, then you have a hope, and a God that will give you strength.

If you are gone every Saturday night playing musician, and she doesn't want to come, there is a reason she doesn't.  This is what you need to find out.....why.  If she asked you to stop going out every Saturday night, would you stop, and spend more time with her doing something else?  Sounds like there is little compromise on your part, and you are complaining it's your wife's fault.  You are saying you can't do anything to please her.  What exactly have you done to try and please her?  It takes 2 to tango, and we are only hearing your side of the problem.