Problem With Eye Contact

[BK_Adores_Chase]

Who and why do people have this problem?

[lynnc35]

I think alot of people notice eye contact, when they are talking to you, we should be looking at them to make them know we are interested in what they are saying, if we are avoiding them, they will come to conclusions. I heard that most of our communication is in our actions and not by our words, this is more of the way we communicate and how we are being read, some don't even listen to our actual words as much as how we are coming across.

[footemama]

I think you can make eye contact without continuously staring at someone. I would first figure out how much eye contact I actually give people and try to improve on that each time. Eye contact is important it lets the person that we are talking to know that we are engaged in the conversation and are interested in what they are saying. And like I said...it doesn't have to be continuous especially if you're at work or cooking or something. For example, I'm a photographer (on the weekends lol) and most of the time I am talking my customers is while I'm photographing them or creating enhancements on their portraits, the important thing is that I am still making eye contact by looking up when I'm explaining something or looking at them if they are making comments other than "um-hm" (even then I will glance up to see if they are engaged if they aren't we move onto something else).

[swkstudent]

I tend to get nervous when making direct eye contact even when I know the person and I don't know why. 

Any tips?

[medule]

when i was younger...i was yelled at constantly for staring.......i mean i dont think i ever really stared....but eventually it got to where i cant look at a persons eyes for more than a few seconds without looking away...and then i look back at them...but i am working on it

[cubarican210]

In some cultures, eye contact is a form of disrespect. If you happen to talk to someone and they're not looking directly at you, that's why. Or maybe, eye contact just makes them nervous all together. For me, I only make eye contact with people I trust. If it's a total stranger, best believe they are not looking into my eyes. As the saying goes "The eyes are the windows to the soul" That's so very true. People can see through you when they look into your eyes. Lies may be coming out your mouth but your eyes can't deceive anyone no matter how hard you try.

[walksalone11]

In some cultures, eye contact is a form of disrespect. If you happen to talk to someone and they're not looking directly at you, that's why. Or maybe, eye contact just makes them nervous all together. For me, I only make eye contact with people I trust. If it's a total stranger, best believe they are not looking into my eyes. As the saying goes "The eyes are the windows to the soul" That's so very true. People can see through you when they look into your eyes. Lies may be coming out your mouth but your eyes can't deceive anyone no matter how hard you try.

Exactly, my Elders will still grab me by the ear and slap me around(exaggeration of course) if I were to be so bold, dis-respectful and aggressive as to stare into their eyes. I generally watch a persons mouth or wear sunglasses lol.

[kodomfulmanar]

Do you think it has something to do with self-confidence? I'm asking because I used to avoid eye contact all the time, I was shy and wouldnt talk much either. But I've noticed that eye contact does make a lot of difference. I still dont talk much, but people seem more interested when I do. Just a thought.

[walksalone11]

Do you think it has something to do with self-confidence? I'm asking because I used to avoid eye contact all the time, I was shy and wouldnt talk much either. But I've noticed that eye contact does make a lot of difference. I still dont talk much, but people seem more interested when I do. Just a thought.

It is going to be totally dependent on the Culture you are immersed in.

Do you think possibly that you sub-consciously recognize that it is a very confrontational act hence the uneasy feeling?

[heartofphila]

Try looking at their forehead or cheek.

[texaswhiterose]

I have a social phobia so I have the same problem. I never look anyone in the eye unless I am talking directly to them. I guess I have a worse phobia about being obviously rude than social phobia. But the whole time I am making eye contact I am very nervous and I try real hard to control my shaking and sweatyness. It takes practice but you will get there. It just takes time.