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Topic: Should I be feeling guilty?  (Read 3186 times)

cateyes1

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Should I be feeling guilty?
« on: June 12, 2012, 04:54:38 am »
I want to start off with, I will be there for ANYONE if needed. I have this neighbor who is 61 years of age and I know he can do for him self. he calls me just about every day sometimes 5-7 times a day. he'll say "Ginny can you bring me down a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich", or sometime he'll ask me to bring him food....over this past weekend he called me and sad "Ginny I dont feel good I think I took to many pills" I said how many dd you take, he said 10...now mind you he sounded fine to me. so I said "I will call 911" he said NO...so I got off the phone and I called his sister who lives out of state...we talked and she didn know what to do because he has pulled this so many times...anyways while on the phone with her my other phone rings and it's him again...he said "Ginny I feel so much better now" I said "wow that was quick what did you do" he said " I drank allot of water" I relay back to his sister what he said and she was like "see one never knows with him" hr's later I get a call from his sister saying that he called her and saying "I took 15 pills" so she gets off the phone and calls 911...the fire department,ambulance came and took him to the hospital...the next day he calls me from the hospital saying " oh Ginny I dont know what to do I just want to die"........this man is making me physicaly sick, i'm abunch of nerves. I screen my calls now and I feel like i'm a prisoner in my own home.....God forbid if anything happens to him should I feel guilty?...I mean he leans on me for allot and I feel if I dont jump or something REALLY happens i'll be wondering, what could have I done?...my other neighbors tell me he's not my problem and so does my family BUT ....... he counts on me so much, I dont know what more to do......I will help anyone but when all I hear from him is I want to die, a part of me just wants to say just do it and get it over with...then I feel even more guilty for even thinking of saying that.....HELP!!...........what would you do?........1 of my neighbors even said he feels bad for me because this guy seems to be playing head games with me....he is sooooo stressing me out!!!!!!!!!!!!
« Last Edit: June 12, 2012, 04:58:16 am by cateyes1 »

kingreyam24

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Re: Should I be feeling guilty?
« Reply #1 on: June 12, 2012, 05:11:46 am »
He seems like he just wants attention. Does he ever get out of the house? Does he have any friends? Maybe you should find him a friend that he can hang out with. It definitely sounds like you are in a tough situation. I would probably be screening my calls too. It seems like if something does actually go wrong, he would probably call 911 himself. The thing is he is counting on you for things he can do himself, so he doesn't really need you, he just wants to talk to you. He just seems lonely to me.  :dontknow:

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yosav

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Re: Should I be feeling guilty?
« Reply #2 on: June 12, 2012, 05:16:04 am »
he probably wants attention, it up to you to decide if you want to go through it, if you have the time and patience go ahead, but dont take everything he says so serious

cateyes1

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Re: Should I be feeling guilty?
« Reply #3 on: June 12, 2012, 05:19:57 am »
He seems like he just wants attention. Does he ever get out of the house? Does he have any friends? Maybe you should find him a friend that he can hang out with. It definitely sounds like you are in a tough situation. I would probably be screening my calls too. It seems like if something does actually go wrong, he would probably call 911 himself. The thing is he is counting on you for things he can do himself, so he doesn't really need you, he just wants to talk to you. He just seems lonely to me.  :dontknow:


Hi, yes I see him out and about, yet when I ask him if he's been out he tells me "no i'm to sick to get out" I think i'm being played for a fool....I have suggested many places he can g to and he tells me he's to tired or some excuse....he had a friend the next street over but I heard she doesnt want to talk to him any more because all he talks about is want to die and how life stinks UGH

yosav

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Re: Should I be feeling guilty?
« Reply #4 on: June 12, 2012, 05:23:54 am »
if it bothers you, you could tell him you dont mind coming over if he needs but you dont want to hear about dying, it makes you depressed 

cateyes1

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Re: Should I be feeling guilty?
« Reply #5 on: June 12, 2012, 05:27:33 am »
if it bothers you, you could tell him you dont mind coming over if he needs but you dont want to hear about dying, it makes you depressed 


I have said that in a round about way but it falls on deaf ears  :sad1:

yosav

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Re: Should I be feeling guilty?
« Reply #6 on: June 12, 2012, 05:44:19 am »
so next time your there and he brings up death, tell him your it bother you and leave tell next time he brings it up you wont be able to come over

cateyes1

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Re: Should I be feeling guilty?
« Reply #7 on: June 12, 2012, 05:53:58 am »
so next time your there and he brings up death, tell him your it bother you and leave tell next time he brings it up you wont be able to come over


Thanks  :thumbsup:

yosav

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Re: Should I be feeling guilty?
« Reply #8 on: June 12, 2012, 05:56:47 am »
good luck and keep up the good work

cateyes1

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Re: Should I be feeling guilty?
« Reply #9 on: June 12, 2012, 06:07:38 am »
Thanks, CALGON take me away  :wave:

Cuppycake

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Re: Should I be feeling guilty?
« Reply #10 on: June 12, 2012, 06:47:18 am »
You might consider calling social services about him. They might be able to do something?

cateyes1

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Re: Should I be feeling guilty?
« Reply #11 on: June 12, 2012, 07:48:09 am »
why don't you just be honest? i've met ppl like this... maybe its just how he is... but if he were a killer would you be assisting him in murders?
i would just say if you can make the food yourself why don't you? and i would also say i don't think your telling the truth about the pills i just think you want attention... i would say if you want a friend ok but if you just want me to do all the stuff you can do and just try to get my sympathy then no



Water Ihave said allllllllllll that, but it falls on deaf ears....I may as well be talking t a wall  :dontknow:....I told him if he keeps calling andsaying hewants to die, i'm just going to call 911.........and as far as your question about assisting i'm not even going to answer that...dont be foolish lol

cateyes1

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Re: Should I be feeling guilty?
« Reply #12 on: June 12, 2012, 09:29:32 am »
if it were me i don't know exactly what you have done... but id be friendly and lay it out for him one more time that you will be a friend but not a butler or a pity party, nd that if he changed id be his friend, but if he doesnt that you'll ignore him... and then just ignore him... lets say he killed himself after he was left alone... i wouldnt say you should feel bad because you can either be his slave and he would probably do it anyways and you would get taken down or you can just let him be and hope that his time alone being at an all time low will help him wise up... i used to be real pathetic in my interactions but after a while i learned it was pathetic... if you give him a fair option i think its alright you cant force him

Good advice, thank you so much for that, I hope tha works!!...he knows i'll be there for him but now I feel i'm being taken advantage of.....water, I have ALWAYS brougt him food and sat hrs with him talking about anting to die. then one day he called me and said Ginny can you come down here? I said I cant today because I dont feel good myself...he said I bet I feel worse...well that REALLY got my A&&....

smithjcsdfw

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Re: Should I be feeling guilty?
« Reply #13 on: June 12, 2012, 09:47:45 am »
Hey now I could use a peanut butter sandwich.  Could you bring me one?  And maybe a couple of double stuffed oreos as well. 

As with all things at some point in time ya just gotta draw that line in the sand that your not willing to cross.

cateyes1

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Re: Should I be feeling guilty?
« Reply #14 on: June 12, 2012, 10:06:39 am »
Hey now I could use a peanut butter sandwich.  Could you bring me one?  And maybe a couple of double stuffed oreos as well. 

As with all things at some point in time ya just gotta draw that line in the sand that your not willing to cross.



Lol Smith, all of my friends now call me and say on my answering machine, "Ginny when you get the chance can you bring me a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich" GRRRRR lol....that was cute lol

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