Getting someone to move out of your home Suggestions PLEASE

[blondie71]

My husbands older brother has been staying with us since March, and I told him we would help him get medicaid and disability but once we do that he has to find his own place.  We agreed to help him because he was living under a bridge and we head about it over the scanner and the police ran his id.  He says to my husband he is saving all his money to buy a truck which is $2500 so this means he is staying another four months and this means more electric bill for us as well as water bill, and not mention food.  His check is bigger than my husbands and I don't have an income at all.  He also getts very angery with my husband and he doesn't like my animals plus he said my house isn't clean enough for him to have his children here, the house is clean and the dishes are done with no help from him and the bedroom he stays in all day and night is so messy you can't even see the floor and we just put new flooring in there and he is making it look like crap.  Any suggestons my fusion cash family may have for me woud be appreciated.

[mawhite63]

Blondie that's a really hard situation to be in. A lot of the laws vary from state to state, but one common denominator is if the relative is having mail delivered to your house, then you need to treat the situation as if he were a tenant and go through a legal eviction process.

eHow.com has a very, very basic guide on this, but again the laws are going to vary by state, and sometimes even by county.

http://www.ehow.com/how_6046326_evict-family-member-house.html

You may want to set aside some time to go to the County Clerk or Sheriff in person and ask them what the process is. You mentioned he gets angry at your husband. I'm not sure what you're referring to by "angry" but if it's something that puts you in fear, you may be able to get him out of the house sooner than with a normal eviction.

Please keep us posted with how this goes, that's a horrible situation to be living with a disturbed person in your own home. I'm really sorry.

[lizandhobbes]

I feel for you and your situation.  Since he is your husband's brother, this you are in a tough position.  Does your husband also think his brother should leave or is he saying he should stay until he saves up for the truck?  Since he is your husband's brother, your husband needs to step up and set some ground rules and an "eviction" date.  Also, if he gets angry to the point where it makes you afraid, you can call get the police involved, if you want to go that far.  My heart goes out to you as you were just trying to do the right thing and help out your brother in law.  Remember that some people just can't or won't be helped no matter how much you do.  Good luck to you and please keep us posted.   

[squirrelgirl44]

It is really tough to get people to move out if they don't want to. My boyfriend and I have lived together for a few years, in a house I own, and I asked him to move out and he refuses to leave... He is not on the house note, I guess I will have to officially evict. So annoying.

[vee46]

unfornately, you would have to legally evict the person-as long as they have a toothbrush/washcloth they are considered a true occupant.

[KSimonetti92]

I understand your pickle! Its a hard thing to do, but for the sake of YOUR family, it's time to tell your husband's brother to hit the bricks! Having a "couch surfer" in your house can really put a strain on your marriage, not to mention your wallet! How I went about it with my husbands brother is this: I sat him down and explained to him right out that his presence in my home was a privileged, and he was abusing it. The cost of keeping a house going is expensive as is, and with only one source of income, it's even harder (which is the situation in my house, as well). I insured him it was not us being ignorant or selfish, but that without his contribution to the expenses, the situation was slowly decaying what me and my husband had spent years to work to pull together. We gave the brother a month longer to stay with us and helped him set up a living arrangement elsewhere, where he payed to rent a room. We also loaned him a modest amount of money and had him sign an agreement to make payments to pay us back every month with a minimum amount of $30.
I hope some of this helps- it really is a hard place to be. When I was in the same situation we let it go for far too long and ended up being a few weeks late for rent often short of food. I hope the same doesn't happen to you! Good luck with your situation...  

[ghunter]

I read some of the advice and they all are good ones, but if they do not want to move you have a problem.  My sister lived with me and my husband twice and we just set time limit and made her take care of some of the expenses, but everyone situation is different.  Good luck.

[Screwedupclick4life337]

Im sorry  but you have to give him a deadline because  he is driving  you crazy but good  luck

[madeara]

What a difficult situation.  I am so sorry.  What about looking in the newspaper for rooms that might be available in someone else's home?

[virigarcia]

If your husband feels the same as you then, take legal action.

[ptfunds]

Definitely a tough and sensitive situation.  I notice that other members have asked you this question, how does your husband feel about his staying/leaving?  If you are both on the same page then it's time to "circle the wagons" and figure out what's best for your family and present a united front. Often people will display "anger" to make it difficult for others to approach them. Not knowing the family history with your husband and his brother it's hard to know what that looks like and what their prior dynamic is in their relationship. Bottom line, no one deserves to be "helping" someone else and to have the quality of their own lives diminish as a result of it. Talk to your husband and come up with a plan together. Best of luck to you.