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Topic: Which is worst physical abuse or mental abuse?  (Read 1041 times)

bjohnson52

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Which is worst physical abuse or mental abuse?
« on: June 17, 2013, 04:06:29 pm »
Hey Guys,

I know the answer to this question but I want to hear you guys point of views.
Here is a scenario, you have a mentally disturbed or slow child, you are  of one religion and
 your spouse is of another.  You decided to quit work to take care of your special needs child
who by the way have never been diagnosed as such because you felt that you could work with
your child yourself and help get your child as close to normal as possible.
You are constantly tormented by your spouse who scolds you for trying to teach your child your religious
views, because you're not working, you are scolded for that as well.  Your spouse also threatens to leave you and tells you that if he or she leaves
you might have to go in a shelter.  They say they will take care of their child but they could give a rat's tail about you.

You are constantly hearing that your spouse is cheating, you can't get around much because your spouse is mostly
always gone with the car.  You have little to no money, what do you do?

2nd case scenario.  You have worked out your marriage, Amen!  Don't  rejoice yet.  Your
relationship has had it's ups and downs, you have been saying for years that there was something wrong with your child.  Your spouse
has been disputing you saying it's all in your head and now the child is an adult have finished college but still shows signs of abnormalcy, hope I'm using the right word.

So now the child/adult seems to push away from you towards the parent who really didn't offer much assistane to the near normal level that the child/adult have achieved.  What do you do when you have giving it your all and one parent teaches their child to dislike the other parent?


blondie71

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Re: Which is worst physical abuse or mental abuse?
« Reply #1 on: June 17, 2013, 04:36:46 pm »
I don't like either of the scenario because the wrong parent gets the attention and the parent who did all the work Is hurt and feeling rejected.  It would *bleep* me off and I would just doing my own thing and see how they like that.
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msmoneybags48

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Re: Which is worst physical abuse or mental abuse?
« Reply #2 on: June 17, 2013, 04:45:26 pm »
Physical or mental, both are forms of abuse.  Physical abuse can hurt, but mental abuse hurts even worse.  I had an ex who told me nobody wanted me but him.  I felt he was saying that for a reason, and he was.  He was after my friend's sister.  When he decided to break the news that he didn't want to be with me anymore, I left him 2 months later.  I had an ex who told me that I was his and if he couldn't have me, nobody else would have me.  If a man tells you that you have to do things just to make him happy, but he is not reciprocating, look at it as control.  My mother had a friend who had a husband who would physically abuse her.  She made a concoction of lye water and threw it in his face.  He killed her, but her last word spoke volumes; that word was she was tired of the abuse.  I had an ex who told me we couldn't be any more than friends with benefits; I laughed, because the sex wasn't even good.  I met a security guard who told me that, if I was his woman, I would never leave the house; my response to him is that I will never be that controlled. I worked for a not-for-profit Social Service agency and one lady was beaten so bad she never awakened from her coma.  You do have rights, and choose them carefully.  Document everything he does to you and keep it hidden away in a safe place.  Call the police so they will have records of your abuse.  Make a plan of action, and choose to leave.  I do not care what he says; you do not have to be his personal punching bag.  My ex mentally abused me to the point that I stopped smiling until the day I left him.  My new friend beat him and told him to leave me alone.  I didn't have to worry about him for three years.  After my friend was killed in a carjacking, I saw him for the first time in 3 years and told him no way was I going to take him back.  I am now divorced from him and married to a good man.  So there are benefits to leaving an abusive relationship. :o ??? :o :wave: :thumbsup: ;D

bjohnson52

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Re: Which is worst physical abuse or mental abuse?
« Reply #3 on: June 17, 2013, 06:47:58 pm »
I don't like either of the scenario because the wrong parent gets the attention and the parent who did all the work Is hurt and feeling rejected.  It would *bleep* me off and I would just doing my own thing and see how they like that.

The scenarios get even deeper, the spouse in this 3rd scenario was in the past informed that the child may not or might be his.  Could this possibly be the reason for the mental abuse?  The child/adult is now marr

lvstephanie

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Re: Which is worst physical abuse or mental abuse?
« Reply #4 on: June 18, 2013, 07:06:19 am »
Well in these scenarios, it's all about mental abuse, so your push-poll is going to have most people say that the mental abuse is worse. But abuse is abuse. It hurts and if done enough and to a large enough degree, it can break a person, be it mental or of the physical nature. So I don't think one form of abuse is worse than the other; they're both bad. It's sort of like asking "Which is worse, being killed by a stranger in a random drive-by shooting or being killed by a stranger because you're black?"... Neither is worse because the victim is dead in either case. Similarly abusing a person to the point of breaking is what is "bad", not whether that abuse was caused mentally or physically.

diala84

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Re: Which is worst physical abuse or mental abuse?
« Reply #5 on: June 18, 2013, 08:00:22 am »
Well both scenarios are emotional abuse (using words, yelling, getting back at each other, manipulation tactics and subtle body language) although there is much less emotional abuse in scenario 2. Physical abuse is shown with actions like attacking, throwing objects and violence.

I think scenario 1 is much worse because the parents are arguing and this affects relationships with the child while the child is living at home. The child has no escape for the abuse and feels they have to pick sides to even survive in the household all on top of having a disability. On top of that the husband is cheating and the family is poor. All of this sounds like bad situations.

In scenario 2 I assume the child has moved out of the house and it simply becomes an issue between the parents. If the child has succeeded in achieving an higher education then why would it matter if they have some traits that would usually classify them as having a disability. The definition of a disability is "a physical or mental handicap, especially one that prevents a person from living a full, normal life or from holding a gainful job." If the mental handicap doesn't prevent the ability to lead a normal life then there is no reason to address the issue. Credit is due for being able to raise your child to grow up as best you can but it may be hurting your relationship with your child more to focus on what the child can't do rather than what the child can do. Focus on the positive and be happy for the achievements and the relationship should improve. As for the parents relationship that could be salvageable if the parents talk out their issues or it may cause them to part ways and divorce. But really it makes sense that the relationship with the child would get worse if that parent always sees the worst and negative aspects even without any help from the other parent.   

6265AT99

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Re: Which is worst physical abuse or mental abuse?
« Reply #6 on: June 18, 2013, 10:56:49 am »
Hey Guys,

I know the answer to this question but I want to hear you guys point of views.
Here is a scenario, you have a mentally disturbed or slow child, you are  of one religion and
 your spouse is of another.  You decided to quit work to take care of your special needs child
who by the way have never been diagnosed as such because you felt that you could work with
your child yourself and help get your child as close to normal as possible.
You are constantly tormented by your spouse who scolds you for trying to teach your child your religious
views, because you're not working, you are scolded for that as well.  Your spouse also threatens to leave you and tells you that if he or she leaves
you might have to go in a shelter.  They say they will take care of their child but they could give a rat's tail about you.

You are constantly hearing that your spouse is cheating, you can't get around much because your spouse is mostly
always gone with the car.  You have little to no money, what do you do?

2nd case scenario.  You have worked out your marriage, Amen!  Don't  rejoice yet.  Your
relationship has had it's ups and downs, you have been saying for years that there was something wrong with your child.  Your spouse
has been disputing you saying it's all in your head and now the child is an adult have finished college but still shows signs of abnormalcy, hope I'm using the right word.

So now the child/adult seems to push away from you towards the parent who really didn't offer much assistane to the near normal level that the child/adult have achieved.  What do you do when you have giving it your all and one parent teaches their child to dislike the other parent?



Sadly, both scenarios are terrible!!!  The focus should always be on the child and helping that child anyway that you and your partner can!!!!  It seems to me the focus has been on the adults and their "differences" rather than the child who would and should benefit from 2 loving parents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

twelton

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Re: Which is worst physical abuse or mental abuse?
« Reply #7 on: June 19, 2013, 06:05:09 pm »
Well they both are bad. The first scenario I do have a mentally disabled child and I stayed at home with her. But not one time did my husband throw up anything. He knew that she was more important. Also he wasn't abusive. I didn't really start having problems with emotional and mental abuse until someone I met online came between my husband and I. The person caused a lot of pain for my entire family by threatening me and calling the cops. He was using mind control and manipulation. He caused my husband and I to divorce but after going through everything and then ended up having anxiety attacks. I finally turned my life around by giving my life to Christ and remarrying my husband. Now we are happier couple and we thank God everyday that he brought us back together. If I had gotten with that person, I probably wouldn't have been here today.

kristalie

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Re: Which is worst physical abuse or mental abuse?
« Reply #8 on: June 19, 2013, 06:51:56 pm »
I feel so bad either way. I personally would rather physical abuse because those wounds heal. Mental wounds take longer to heal in my opinion.

I'm so sorry for whatever you are going through.

shelly927

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Re: Which is worst physical abuse or mental abuse?
« Reply #9 on: June 19, 2013, 07:45:15 pm »
actually both are.  There is no worst one.  because mental abuse is just as depressing and heart breaking which, is very hurtful.  this can also lead to your death by another person or cause you to commit suicide

ancmetro

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Re: Which is worst physical abuse or mental abuse?
« Reply #10 on: June 19, 2013, 08:33:31 pm »

        Both are about the same: Abuse is abuse... any way you look at it!

lgemini

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Re: Which is worst physical abuse or mental abuse?
« Reply #11 on: June 21, 2013, 05:59:55 am »
Any abuse is bad.

lywb2168

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Re: Which is worst physical abuse or mental abuse?
« Reply #12 on: June 21, 2013, 06:22:10 am »
Abuse is abuse regardless of the way it is received.  Physical abuse is easier to proof but the emotional abuse is harder to recover from, I would accept neither and get out of dutch for either.

sadafasim

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Re: Which is worst physical abuse or mental abuse?
« Reply #13 on: June 21, 2013, 11:38:53 am »
i agree with others that abuse is abuse either physical or mental or emotional ..... mental abuse could say more worse because it may take time to heal up ....

Clandestine1

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Re: Which is worst physical abuse or mental abuse?
« Reply #14 on: June 21, 2013, 12:02:31 pm »
From personal experiences I'd have to say that mental abuse is worse then physical abuse. I mean both are pretty bad but physical wounds heal even though there may be scars. Mental wounds may never ever heal.

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