How would you answer this question?

[msmoneybags48]

On Friday, I had a call from my brother in-law.  I missed the call and, when I called to see what he wanted, he began by telling me to please answer his question, and not to hang up.  I wanted to know what he was talking about, and I finally got the question, but it was not what I expected.  He asked me what happens when a woman goes through menopause.  My first answer was "Why did you call me?" and then I;  told him that women get dry sometimes and need lubrication.  His response was "You mean to tell me she is not gonna love me anymore?"  I tried not to laugh about it, but trying to explain things to my brother in-law is hard, especially when he is not very diplomatic.  I told him that women experience mood swings, and he said she is doing that now.  Meanwhile, I am hearing my sister in the background saying that he has asked everybody.  She went on to say he had asked her stepmother, his three sisters, and now he was asking me.  I was bursting with laughter, and he told me I ruined his night; my response was that he made my night because I didn't expect this.  My last response to him was to walk on a thin line.  Naturally, I had to explain that, and I told him that he and the boys will get their head bit off doing something silly.  He said she does that already, and I told him it is going to be worse.  The only thing I left out was the fact that women get hot flashes.  So this morning, I am asking if any one has had that experience, and how did they answer the question.

[springsgardner]

I have never had this question. I'm shocked that he came to the conclusion that she won't love him any more. I also think this must be humiliating your sister that he is calling all these people. I bet she has done some research. He could try to be more supportive of the changes she's going through by talking with her instead of about her. If she doesn't know much, they could try to look it up together or he could look it up on his own rather than talking about her with her in the room.

[potluck6]

Went through menopause a couple years ago,it was nothing hot flashes lasted only 10seconds and maybe twice a week. Didn't have mood changes a little sweating at night but easy.Now your sex drive or my sex drive went to almost not there. Didn't stop me from loving my husband other things did, but well kind of a silly question your brother asked .Like that patches on my legs have no hair I think we loose testosterone if women even have any of that.

[bob1tina]

Being a man, I know my girlfriends sister is going through something like that.  Hot flashes, mood swings, no desirer to be sexually active, wore out, and she is taking female hormones so that helps but it doesn't get the symptoms to completely go away.  It helps with the mood swings basically.  I hope this helps out.  Oh I also heard that it could last for several years.

[msmoneybags48]

Thanks for the responses.  In order to understand my brother in-law, you would have to be a fly on a wall.  I recall one time that she got seasoning salt from her ex, the father of my niece.  The man carried on so bad I burst out laughing in the back seat.  He went on to say that he would buy her a box of seasoning salt to make her happy, and she is explaining that he offered and it was free; nobody saw the big deal with it, but he was seriously upset about it.  Of course, my sister is embarrassed with him calling people like some fool lunatic, but he doesn't care.  To show you how silly he is, he called up her stepmother and told her to please tell my sister to have sex with him; she had gotten off work and was tired.  To me, that would have been the straw that broke the camel's back in three places, but she loves him.  She has to live with it; I don't have that problem.  When I said he is not the most diplomatic man I know is an understatement.

[kapeh12]

I've been starting to research the subject of menopause as I'm getting to that age where someday I might start experiencing symptoms and want to be prepared.

Basically what is going on is the female reproductive system is slowly shutting down.  As a result of this, a woman's estrogen levels will slowly decrease.  This causes an imbalance in the body which leads to the list of "symptoms" women experience.  How severe the symptoms are, which are experienced, and how long they last depend on genetics, how healthy a diet a person maintains, exercise and consistent rest (good night sleep).

One caution, another side effect of the loss of estrogen is the body doesn't burn calories as effectively, which often leads to weight gain during the process.  To counteract this, include strength training with ones exercise program - increasing muscle mass will counter the estrogen decline.  More muscle burns more calories.  One doesn't have to be a bodybuilder, just a good general strength and toning program (can you do situps, leg lifts, push-ups, etc fairly easily - if not, you need to gain that muscle back...plus you'll feel awesome).

One way you could explain this to him - if he remembers how scary the teenage girls were in middle/high school when their reproductive systems were turning on...this is the same thing in reverse.


Seems like there is more to the story with your brother-in-law, but I find it a good sign he even bothers to ask and find out.  Most men think any subject regarding "lady topics" is taboo and should not be touched.  If he's really trying to understand what she's going through so he can better support his needs, I applaud his effort.  He may not be going about it in the "right" way, but it sounds like he's at least making an attempt.  I hope your sister can appreciate that aspect.

[mstevenson2]

dont know but dont think this is something for public

[gaylasue]

No, I can't say that I have.  Where has he been all of his adult life?  Maybe they need more commercials on TV for menopause instead of ED!  Tell him to google it and he will find out everything and more than he wants to know!

[LenoraMinogue]

I don't think he should have asked other people this question. All this can do is embarrass his wife. I think I would have told him to ask his wife, not me.

[Penwoir]

On Friday, I had a call from my brother in-law.  I missed the call and, when I called to see what he wanted, he began by telling me to please answer his question, and not to hang up.  I wanted to know what he was talking about, and I finally got the question, but it was not what I expected.  He asked me what happens when a woman goes through menopause.  My first answer was "Why did you call me?" and then I;  told him that women get dry sometimes and need lubrication.  His response was "You mean to tell me she is not gonna love me anymore?"  I tried not to laugh about it, but trying to explain things to my brother in-law is hard, especially when he is not very diplomatic.  I told him that women experience mood swings, and he said she is doing that now.  Meanwhile, I am hearing my sister in the background saying that he has asked everybody.  She went on to say he had asked her stepmother, his three sisters, and now he was asking me.  I was bursting with laughter, and he told me I ruined his night; my response was that he made my night because I didn't expect this.  My last response to him was to walk on a thin line.  Naturally, I had to explain that, and I told him that he and the boys will get their head bit off doing something silly.  He said she does that already, and I told him it is going to be worse.  The only thing I left out was the fact that women get hot flashes.  So this morning, I am asking if any one has had that experience, and how did they answer the question.

I just started getting hot flashes in about the last year. I'm nearly 46. It was really wierd - I woke up in the middle of the night as hot as I can remember, my bed sheets were hugely wet, my pillow, my pj's.  I thought, how did I get to be this hot and not  notice on the way to getting this hot. As a general rule, I've never liked  being hot, especially in bed so I always stick my legs out the bottom of the bed to cool down. But this time, I had to change all my clothing for fear of the chills. I had my children )two) late in life (36 and 38) so it was not that long ago that I experienced hot flashes in the days after having my babies. It's very similar. Change in hormones I guess. Uncontrollable heat and it doesn't matter whether it's hot or cold outside. And yes, I've lost a little of the zing that used to come into the bedroom. I love my husband dearly but when he suggests some bedroom activity, I can think of all the reasons under the son that I'm too tired, washing to do, cats litter box to clean...... socks to weave and darn!

[djohnson43]

I've not had this question per say but try explaining it to an 11 year old girl when she sees her mommy changing in front of her. Not easy. Especially since we haven't really had THE TALK with her. She of course knows about the periods even though she hasn't started yet because she has an 18 year old sister as well. My husband is giving me a wide birth when he senses I'm not in the best of moods. Nor does he like that I have a fan on on my side of the room all the time but then again he doesn't like the wet sheets and I told him it's either the wet sheets or the fan. So he has a comforter on his side of the bed.

[o2bnocn]

Well I haven't experienced it yet but I would explain mood swings, hot flashes, body changing. Oh lovely hormones!

[rpse1927]

toanswer this question i would talk to a doctor

[mill8277]

Tell him to go to the web page 34 menopause symptoms......