When someone lies to you.... and you know it

[nmsmith]

Do you confront them? Even if you know they will not own up to it. DO you keep up the act like and play dumb until the time is right?

[demaina]

One thing my friend did was told her kids she'd explain it to her when she's older, and wrote it down in a box that she could open at that age and explain when it isn't so inappropriate.  She said it worked for the time being but I don't know how it will fair later, but at the very least, it gives the kid something to look forward.

I don't know if this is the right way, cause I don't have any kids, but if my kid said something I didn't want them repeating, I'd do what you did, but say, "I know what it means, and you really shouldn't be repeating it cause it offends others and they might get the wrong impression of you."  If she wants to know what it is, then tell her that you'll explain it to her later.  Possibly but an age on it like "when you're 15" or something.  Maybe give an example that will make sense to her.  Cooties were a big thing when I was younger, so if you say, "if you talk like that that your friend might treat you like you have cooties and not want to play with you any more," that might make it clear to her how talking like that could affect her.

[nmsmith]

One thing my friend did was told her kids she'd explain it to her when she's older, and wrote it down in a box that she could open at that age and explain when it isn't so inappropriate.  She said it worked for the time being but I don't know how it will fair later, but at the very least, it gives the kid something to look forward.

I don't know if this is the right way, cause I don't have any kids, but if my kid said something I didn't want them repeating, I'd do what you did, but say, "I know what it means, and you really shouldn't be repeating it cause it offends others and they might get the wrong impression of you."  If she wants to know what it is, then tell her that you'll explain it to her later.  Possibly but an age on it like "when you're 15" or something.  Maybe give an example that will make sense to her.  Cooties were a big thing when I was younger, so if you say, "if you talk like that that your friend might treat you like you have cooties and not want to play with you any more," that might make it clear to her how talking like that could affect her.

THANK U for your advice! I changed my post cuz I didn't think anyone would be able to help me. I appreciate your reply

[camellia0]

I'd confront that person. Yeah, they'd try to lie to you but hopefully next time they won't lie to you.

[kimberlymgiles]

Please address anyone that chooses to lie to you. Make them take accountability for their actions. They should make an attempt to be honest with you at all times. Lies can really tear relationships apart. Tell that person how you feel, unless you want them to keep being dishonest with you.

[jmccaskill]

The college (military academy) I graduated from had an honor code: 'A cadet does not lie, cheat, or steal, nor tolerate those that do.' Pretty simple and straightforward and has served its alumnae (and the nation)well for a couple of centuries now...

[shmanalise]

ughh I hate that! that's the worst..   

[Sweetpea1228]

I do not tolerate lies. I will call the person out on it Everytime. 

[sak4kat]

It depends on who the person is that is doing the lying.  Unless it's my children doing the lying I usually turn my cheek and avoid that person as much as possible.  If it's someone I can't avoid than I gracefully ignore that person and everything they have to say.  Now going back to it being my children.  I've always told them that the truth is always expected and by laying it out there no matter how uncomfortable and awkward it may be; they will get in less trouble by telling the truth rather lying.  My older kids have figured that out and there are many things that many teens lie about that my kids don't it has really opened up strong communication among us.  My 6 year old however still tries to lie about the simplest things...like brushing her teeth.  They aren't perfect and I know they have there secrets - and in entering the teen years they have a right to some more privacy that comes along with more independence but if I catch them in a lie - they know they are in for it.  I don't see the sense in lying really - it always goes wrong and turns things into a bigger mess.  If you are onto a lyre be cautious they most likely sneak and sometimes steal as well.

[tammypete]

I do confront them about it and if they deny and keep on lying...well that's it for me!!!  I have no patience nor time for lying and drama in my life!!!  Life is way too short for nonsense!!!!!!!!!

[bigfoot951]

It depend who it is and what they are lying about.  A lot of times it is useful to remain quiet about it as that knowledge about the person can help you in the future.

[nmsmith]

NO this is not a child, its people in my life who claim to be friends but they did something really horrible to me behind my back and don't think I know what they did... a big part of me wants to confrot them just for the sake of closure and putting an official end to the fake friendship. Another part just wants to change my #, delete my Fb and just move on. I have so much more to be concerned about right now....

[sgluckadoo]

Do you confront them? Even if you know they will not own up to it. DO you keep up the act like and play dumb until the time is right?

Both! Just depends on the situation. My mother lies to the point you cannot believe anything she says. It is pathetic. Though I have mostly cut her out of my life, I only sometimes confront her when she lies.

I really cannot tolerate liars. I am very straightforward and responsible and expect others to be the same way, which they are often not and because I hate confrontation, it is just easier to have nothing to do with them.

[jmc1982]

I play dumb unitl the time is right. the truth will come out eventually.

[ladycasshmere]

I confront them I hate being lied to