question for the ladies

[wendyr19]

Surround yourself with negativity and you'll live a negative life. I agree with everyone above. Your daughter giving into using birth control to stop the teasing will only lead to them teasing her about something else. The first time she mentions that she's on the pill to her friends, they're going to tease her about when she's going to have sex for the first time. And then they're going to pressure her about that until she gives into that as well. She needs to find her own voice and stand up for herself. It's her body.

[demaina]

Same opinion as the others.  If people want to put you down, they will use whatever they can to do so.  You don't use the same shampoo as them or you don't wear the same clothes or what not.  It's better that she learns this now so she can be stronger later.  It will be hard but if she has friends outside of those people, she will probably be fine.

[lywb2168]

I have 2 teenage daughters, well one is almost 21 this month.  My opinion is that she needs to get new friends, and it is nobody else's business if she is or not a virgin, her friends are just stupid bi...s that want to hurt her.

My experience with my now adult daughter was a totally different.  When she was almost 17 and a senior in HS I tried to get her on the pill before going to College, since I wanted her to be ready for anything that could happened, and she REFUSED, there was nothing I said or the dr. said that would changed her mind, she told me and I quote "I have no boyfriend, I am having any sex and I do not need them until I am ready".  Now she is 21 with an steady boyfriend and on the pill, she did it on her terms at her own time and I am happy with her decision.  Now my 16 years old is a Jr in HS, her situation is a little different, she went thru an abuse by a teacher at a young age and she is not into sex at all, she had a boyfriend last year and she told him plain a simple, I will not have sex with you until and when I am ready, don't ask and if you do not like it then bye.  I will put her on the pill when she is ready for it, she knows she can come an tell me she wants to go on them and I will not invade her privacy, her friends are good and she actually distance herself from anyone that is trying to bully her.  She takes no crap from anyone.  But then not may people knows what she went thru and she is a happy teenager.

Your daughter needs to get her mind set that it is her life, her decision and the Hell with everyone else, if they stop talking to her because of that, then they were never her friends, period.  Tell your 16 years old daughter to be her beautiful self, to believe on herself and to do what she wants when she wants it and NO because of some bullies that just want to cause trouble.  It is not anybody else business if she is a virgin or not, it is her decision of when, how and with whom she loose it to.  She is perfect just by being her usual self.  And when she goes on the pill is because she feels that she is ready for that next step.  Good luck

[hitch0403]

1ST Corinthians 15:33......Bad association spoil useful habits.


Pretty swift and to the point....and who can argue against it?

[mart2618]

Hi! It sounds like you daughter is having a rough time and I am truly sorry to hear that. It's not easy to experience all the changes that puberty and adolescence bring about. That being said, it's so important for your daughter to understand that what she has is something the students who are teasing her will never be able to regain: Their innocence. Her virginity is nobody's business but her own, and it's so awful that she is being teased for it! Virginity is a beautiful thing, and she should never be ashamed, much less teased for it! As for the birth control, I think it would do more harm than good. If she must, she could just say that she's on birth control. However, I think that she would regret it later, because kids can be really mean and they might even tease her for choosing to use birth control. Bullies are bullies. I know it's difficult, but she just needs to stand her ground and focus on the good things in her life. She sounds like a great kid, and you are an amazing parent for caring so much! Thank you for being a loving parent!

[djohnson43]

We put my 19 year old on the pill when she was about 16 and not because she was sexually active. She still isn't but her periods were so erratic... When she hit the 4th month of no period we went to the doctor and he ran some tests and said that putting her on them would help stabilize them long as she took them as she is suppose to. I haven't seen any hormone change or anything like that. 

[PGS28]

Have you considered maybe she is thinking about sex and came up with this explanation of her friends teasing her in order to alarm you at the thought of her wanting to have sex? It was mature and brave of her to ask for BC though.

[BMaston12]

do you think it is safer for teens to use birth control in any forms my teen is 16 and wants to get on the pill she says she is not having sex yet and the doctor says she is still a virgin  but the main reason she wants to be on the pill is that the girls she goes to school with are teasing her for being a virgin so she thinks if they know shes on the pill they will stop bothering her i told her she should be proud to say she is a virgin i have spoke to the principal at her school and she agree's that they girls should stop mocking her so i am looking at all the options and advice would be gratefully appreciated

The peer pressure has really changedsonceI went to school. I agree that she should be proud of being a virgin. It is a shame she has to endure being punished for doing the right thing. I guess those are the times we live in. Yes pill will stop the ribbing, but what are the side effects. Only her furture will tell.Good luck.
BMaston12

[PGS28]

Isn't it ironic how different our daughters can be? I'm a firm believer in listening to my kids' needs in order to determine how to best care for them.  I know the saying goes "children should be seen and not heard" and I never agreed with that; kids are smarter than we think and usually have good contributions if we would just listen to them.  I always say I want to know what I can do/change to be the best parent possible now. I tell my kids don't wait until you grow up to complain about stuff that happened in your childhood that I can no longer change.

I have 2 teenage daughters, well one is almost 21 this month.  My opinion is that she needs to get new friends, and it is nobody else's business if she is or not a virgin, her friends are just stupid bi...s that want to hurt her.

My experience with my now adult daughter was a totally different.  When she was almost 17 and a senior in HS I tried to get her on the pill before going to College, since I wanted her to be ready for anything that could happened, and she REFUSED, there was nothing I said or the dr. said that would changed her mind, she told me and I quote "I have no boyfriend, I am having any sex and I do not need them until I am ready".  Now she is 21 with an steady boyfriend and on the pill, she did it on her terms at her own time and I am happy with her decision.  Now my 16 years old is a Jr in HS, her situation is a little different, she went thru an abuse by a teacher at a young age and she is not into sex at all, she had a boyfriend last year and she told him plain a simple, I will not have sex with you until and when I am ready, don't ask and if you do not like it then bye.  I will put her on the pill when she is ready for it, she knows she can come an tell me she wants to go on them and I will not invade her privacy, her friends are good and she actually distance herself from anyone that is trying to bully her.  She takes no crap from anyone.  But then not may people knows what she went thru and she is a happy teenager.

Your daughter needs to get her mind set that it is her life, her decision and the Hell with everyone else, if they stop talking to her because of that, then they were never her friends, period.  Tell your 16 years old daughter to be her beautiful self, to believe on herself and to do what she wants when she wants it and NO because of some bullies that just want to cause trouble.  It is not anybody else business if she is a virgin or not, it is her decision of when, how and with whom she loose it to.  She is perfect just by being her usual self.  And when she goes on the pill is because she feels that she is ready for that next step.  Good luck

[freedavis]

I think birth control is the best way.  I do think it can sometimes invite them to have sex.

[patycake56]

I really don't think girls that young need to be on birth control

[aflyingmonkey]

Don't have her put unnecessary chemicals in her body, just because of bullying.   If she was sexually active, then that would be another story, but just to fit in?  Not good.  None of those people are going to matter in her life in the long run.  I wish we all realized this in high school, lol.

[autumnsparklemom]

Peer pressure can be a very difficult thing to go through. You and your daughter should be proud. Ignore the friends and make new ones...

[dtotheizzy]

Well I personally think it depends if she is sexually active or not. if she is then she needs to practice safe sex... period! That goes for male or females I believe. there are so many different choices on contraceptives now, its a personal choice for her to make on which one if she is sexually active.

[babyturtles23]

Just putting it out there, are you sure she wants birth control just because of that reason? I think that no 16 year old should be having sex, so for her to be a virgin is a wonderful thing. Not sure what type of parenting you practice, but I would let my daughter know how all those girls already lost it to someone who they probably will never even talk to again. That it's so sad how the brag about it and instead of feeling left out, she should feel bad for those girls. Still being a virgin is something to feel great about. And I'm sure you have let your daughter know that you are proud of her for staying a virgin. I wouldn't give my daughter birth control just so that she could have those girls think that she's having sex. I would tell her to ignore them and not care what they have to say. I would say much, much more, but I cannot curse on here. haha But when she gets older she'll understand.