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Topic: Moving back home?  (Read 2392 times)

froggylover227

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Moving back home?
« on: May 10, 2015, 12:42:20 pm »
I am in the process of getting a divorce. At this point, me and my ex still live under the same roof cause neither one of us can afford the place by ourselves. Yes, it's awkward, annoying, and affecting me in so many ways, which is why I have come to the point where I am thinking about asking my parents if I can move back home. I'm 29, don't have any kids, just a cat. I'm just worried about moving back home. I hate to lose my freedom, but the financial burden would be somewhat less for me and it would allow me to work on saving for my future with my current boyfriend, who lives in another state. I'm worried about how my cat will handle the change, since he's always been very skittish. I'm also worried about what I'm going to do with all the crap I have in my current home. Does anyone have any advice for me? Have any of you been through something similar, and if so, how did you handle it?

jiuchan

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Re: Moving back home?
« Reply #1 on: May 10, 2015, 12:52:50 pm »
oh wow.. i'm moving out of home, but i never really considered moving back in if ever.. if i were to move back in i wanna be able to support myself and not have to depend on my parents. maybe it's because i wanna retire them already and i don't wanna have to keep relying on them when i'm in need and i want them to rely on me this time since i'm already old enouGH??

teresa3200

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Re: Moving back home?
« Reply #2 on: May 10, 2015, 05:14:23 pm »
If you are moving back in with your parents to save money but are worried about your stuff, why not just get a cheap storage unit. If you are going to be saving on rent that shouldnt cost too much and you wont burden your parents with all of your stuff in their house or in their way.

camellia0

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Re: Moving back home?
« Reply #3 on: May 10, 2015, 06:49:51 pm »
You should move back to your parents and get a 2nd job, save up and look for your own place. Of course you have to respect your parent's home, no coming in from partying the early morning hours, etc. You gotta start somewhere. And sell the stuff you don't need and what doesn't sell, give to Goodwill.

tfw6693

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Re: Moving back home?
« Reply #4 on: May 11, 2015, 05:20:39 am »
 :) Do you have a brother or a sister you could stay with for awhile in another city. The main thing is yo have decided to get a divorce. If that is your final decision, get out of the relationship and start a new life.

I married my wife of 43 years. She had 3 children by her previous marriage and we adopted 4 more. It has been a wonderful experience. :)

kimber62372

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Re: Moving back home?
« Reply #5 on: May 11, 2015, 08:42:10 am »
I truly feel for you and had similar feelings with my current husband but we worked things out but we are still a roller coaster and who knows what will happen in the end. I think it would be wise to leave while you can to avoid awkward feelings. If your parents are willing to accept you back into their home and not judge you then they are wonderful people no matter what! Just respect their home and privacy and all should be ok. Definitely rent storage for your things to not clutter their home. Work and save money but also offer to help them out with anything such as groceries or running errands for them or give them a little money towards rent or mortgage. Thank goodness you do not have kids because then it would be even more difficult for you. I pray all goes well for you, please keep us posted! :)
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ghunter

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Re: Moving back home?
« Reply #6 on: May 11, 2015, 08:51:11 am »
My daugther and her husband moved in with two children.  They was only supposed to stay for six months, but it have turned into a year and going.  They claim they are moving in July, so we shall see.  My husband is retiring at the end of the month so is they are allow to stary longer they will have to start paying some bills.

jkhanson

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Re: Moving back home?
« Reply #7 on: May 11, 2015, 10:37:42 am »
I am in the process of getting a divorce. At this point, me and my ex still live under the same roof cause neither one of us can afford the place by ourselves. Yes, it's awkward, annoying, and affecting me in so many ways, which is why I have come to the point where I am thinking about asking my parents if I can move back home. I'm 29, don't have any kids, just a cat. I'm just worried about moving back home. I hate to lose my freedom, but the financial burden would be somewhat less for me and it would allow me to work on saving for my future with my current boyfriend, who lives in another state. I'm worried about how my cat will handle the change, since he's always been very skittish. I'm also worried about what I'm going to do with all the crap I have in my current home. Does anyone have any advice for me? Have any of you been through something similar, and if so, how did you handle it?

My oldest daughter has moved back home several times.  It is a tough world out there.  She rented a storage unit for their "stuff".  She, 36, and her two girls live with us.....19 and 15.  She has one bedroom upstairs and the girls share another bedroom.  We all live together as one family unit.

For the most part, I don't give the arrangement much thought.  She and the girls are just part of the family.  Every once in a while we discuss her moving out on her own again.  That is what we all want, but her finances won't cut it yet.

On the positive side, we get to be a part of the grandgirl's lives and participate in all their school activities.
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patycake56

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Re: Moving back home?
« Reply #8 on: May 11, 2015, 04:54:34 pm »
My 38 yr old son just moved back in with his dad and myself she his soon to be ex just decided she wanted a divorce actullly its a big help to us he helps around inside and out

heypeg

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Re: Moving back home?
« Reply #9 on: May 11, 2015, 05:10:27 pm »
I guess it depends on the type of house they have and how much privacy you will have.

oldbuddy

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Re: Moving back home?
« Reply #10 on: May 13, 2015, 05:14:48 am »
Just be careful you don't end up paying every month for storing stuff that is not worth it. Sell off or give away as much as you can first.

debidoo

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Re: Moving back home?
« Reply #11 on: May 13, 2015, 09:43:41 am »
Kind of - moved physically in with my mom 6 yrs ago when she became ill.  Hubby stayed in our house which later got foreclosed and he moved in with me in my mothers house when she died.  Sons moved into another house that my mom left them then hubby died and after a year they sold their house and moved in with me because they said I wasnt taking care of myself.  It all worked out, we got rid of years of "stuff" and it will work out for you as well I am sure.  Minimize your belongings I am sure in the end you'll be glad for it.

BlackSheepNY

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Re: Moving back home?
« Reply #12 on: May 13, 2015, 12:33:21 pm »
I am in the process of getting a divorce. At this point, me and my ex still live under the same roof cause neither one of us can afford the place by ourselves. Yes, it's awkward, annoying, and affecting me in so many ways, which is why I have come to the point where I am thinking about asking my parents if I can move back home. I'm 29, don't have any kids, just a cat. I'm just worried about moving back home. I hate to lose my freedom, but the financial burden would be somewhat less for me and it would allow me to work on saving for my future with my current boyfriend, who lives in another state. I'm worried about how my cat will handle the change, since he's always been very skittish. I'm also worried about what I'm going to do with all the crap I have in my current home. Does anyone have any advice for me? Have any of you been through something similar, and if so, how did you handle it?

As far as your kitty goes, no, he won't like the changes (cats don't like change, period).  You can make it more comfortable for him, though.  Put all that he needs (food, water, cat box) in the room that YOU will be staying in and close the door.  Let him acclimate to his new surroundings for a week or two because his sense of smell is going to tell him he's not "home."  Keep things near him (like your clothing) that have your scent on them so he knows he's not completely alone, and give him a place to "hide" for a few days, which he may very well want to do.  Once he knows you're still there with him, he'll come around and then maybe you can open the door to let him check out the rest of his surroundings.

As far as your belongings go, it's time to go through them and see if there's anything you really don't want anymore.  If it's nice things, maybe you can sell them off.  If it's junk, well you know where that goes - in the garbage.  If you still have stuff you can't fit in your new place (wherever that may be), maybe you can look in to a storage unit.

I've been where you are and I've lost more than I could keep, but my animals were the most important thing to me.  They are still with me and will be here 'til the day they or I die.  Go ask your parents if you can move in.  You need out of the stressful situation you're in now, and even though you may not realize it, your cat feels that stress, too.

CharmedPhoenix

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Re: Moving back home?
« Reply #13 on: May 13, 2015, 03:03:32 pm »
My ex and I were on and off for four years.  When we decided to split for good I was committed to a tech school program and we couldn't afford separate places until it was over.  After I graduated I got a job in my new field and got my own place.  I don't have family in the state and wouldn't have gone back to my parents any way (even my ex wouldn't curse me with that situation).  It was strange and awkward, but at least we had an end in sight.  I had four cats and a turtle.  Animals adapt better than we do.  I agree that your kitty is picking up on your tension.  Moving can actually help that, but I'd also get some Rescue Remedy for both you and your cat.

I've had to store stuff too, but it's wise advice to lighten up first.  Just take one category or area at a time and thin it out with a good sort and purge.  You can sell or donate what you decide to let go of.  Take a deep breath, take some Rescue Remedy, make a plan and stay organized.  You can do it.  Start with the easy stuff and work up.  You'll feel lighter and that will give you strength.

You can do this.  You'll be okay.  You're starting a new adventure.  :thumbsup: :peace:

Skyisbluetoday

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Re: Moving back home?
« Reply #14 on: May 13, 2015, 04:14:26 pm »
Moving back in with your parent's isn't a bad idea, to help you and the cat!
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