Adult kids

[cateyes1]

How do you cope if they ignore you 

[sak4kat]

I'm an adult kid and my oldest child has recently turned 18.  She moved out and has begun her life.  I'm blessed with a lesson from my own mother.  She is there for me.  She lets me know it.  And she keeps her distance without having to let me know it.  We don't have a close relationship (My choice) I see the same developing between my oldest daughter and myself.  And I tell her I'm there for you.  And I pray she knows it.  There is no need to cope... I knew the day was coming she would grow up.  Live.  And our relationship would change based on that. 

[cateyes1]

I'm an adult kid and my oldest child has recently turned 18.  She moved out and has begun her life.  I'm blessed with a lesson from my own mother.  She is there for me.  She lets me know it.  And she keeps her distance without having to let me know it.  We don't have a close relationship (My choice) I see the same developing between my oldest daughter and myself.  And I tell her I'm there for you.  And I pray she knows it.  There is no need to cope... I knew the day was coming she would grow up.  Live.  And our relationship would change based on that. 

Maybe I just never grew up lol, I stayed close to my parents and I know many who have. Maybe it's the generation ? thanks

[amyDAST]

I am not trying to come off as rude but instead of asking about this topic on here why don't you just ask your children? I hate how people blame generations as I always say it is as much as you give out. If my children were to ignore me & trust me they do from time to time as they are teenagers. I go to them, I talk to them even if they decide not to talk back. I let them know how it is effecting me & if I can do anything to make our relationship stronger. You cannot blame this generation as WE the parents are who raised this generation!

[cateyes1]

I am not trying to come off as rude but instead of asking about this topic on here why don't you just ask your children? I hate how people blame generations as I always say it is as much as you give out. If my children were to ignore me & trust me they do from time to time as they are teenagers. I go to them, I talk to them even if they decide not to talk back. I let them know how it is effecting me & if I can do anything to make our relationship stronger. You cannot blame this generation as WE the parents are who raised this generation!

Amy I have reached out many times to my 38 year old only to be ignored. I was brought up to respect older people and I brought my kids up to do the same. I thank God that I have been told many times how polite my kids are on the outside and they are very smart and productive with kids of their own. I have seen and heard many in my kids generation be so disrespectful to others that I don't know what went wrong in their family lives. All I know is mine for one reason or another could care less about me and I wrack my brain on where I went wrong. BELIEVE I have tried!!

[amyDAST]

I hope you find peace with your child. If it was me (speaking of what I would do) write a letter to your child since the child obviously doesn't live with you. Pour your heart out as to how you are confused as to why the distance between you two & ask if there is something you did or can do to repair the relationship that you once had. There could be a million possibilities as to why your child is ignoring you & nothing to do with the way the generation is. Maybe something is going on that they are trying to deal with, ect. Use your mothers love, we have it!
I remember when my oldest child became a teenager (years back) someone gave me the best advice that I will always remember, do not take everything they do so personal. Half the time our kids have no clue that they are hurting us or no clue that we feel a certain way. I always keep that in mind when I talk to my kids when they are mad or ignoring me or just being little butts! I will be hoping for the best for you! It will get better. Kids just like adults at any age need time if something is going on.

[cateyes1]

I hope you find peace with your child. If it was me (speaking of what I would do) write a letter to your child since the child obviously doesn't live with you. Pour your heart out as to how you are confused as to why the distance between you two & ask if there is something you did or can do to repair the relationship that you once had. There could be a million possibilities as to why your child is ignoring you & nothing to do with the way the generation is. Maybe something is going on that they are trying to deal with, ect. Use your mothers love, we have it!
I remember when my oldest child became a teenager (years back) someone gave me the best advice that I will always remember, do not take everything they do so personal. Half the time our kids have no clue that they are hurting us or no clue that we feel a certain way. I always keep that in mind when I talk to my kids when they are mad or ignoring me or just being little butts! I will be hoping for the best for you! It will get better. Kids just like adults at any age need time if something is going on.

Amy I have called and written and apologized many many times, it's going on 3 years now. I emailed her many times as well just to say that I love her and I heard that she laughed at that. I have a good idea why she's not talking to me. Thanks again I will remember your advice but as far as ANYTHING I write and even leave messages on her phone all falls on deaf ears. I'm just going to give her her space and hope for the best, I just hope it will be before I die anyways.

[ancmetro]

   Well...you know how they are: They grow up and fly away (Leave the nest).

[cateyes1]

   Well...you know how they are: They grow up and fly away (Leave the nest).

I know that but I stayed close to my parents. I know many who have as well. BUT recently I found this forum site about this subject and I am so surprised at how many parents are neglected by their adult kids. I don't feel so alone anymore, I thought it was just me.

[amyDAST]

 I was just trying to help as you posted it here. I never meant to insinuate you didn't write her. Regardless of how you took my messages I hope for the best between any parent & child.

[cateyes1]

I was just trying to help as you posted it here. I never meant to insinuate you didn't write her. Regardless of how you took my messages I hope for the best between any parent & child.

Thanks Amy and you did help and I appreciate that....hugs !!

[sdenimandlace1]

Sometimes its takes our kids a long time to grow up. 

[cateyes1]

Sometimes its takes our kids a long time to grow up. 

lol aint that the truth...I hope in MY life time anyways ugh

[Nancy5]

I know it hurts, but sometimes time works wonders.  My one friend has a daughter who did not talk to her for years.  My friend went through a major health crisis and her daughter ignored her through it all.  My friend was crushed at the daughters feeling so just finally gave up (after years of calling, texting, writing).  A few more years went by, but now they are close again.  I hope the same works for you and in time and she will realize the mistakes she made and come to you.  My heart hurts for you and I will pray for you.

[cateyes1]

I know it hurts, but sometimes time works wonders.  My one friend has a daughter who did not talk to her for years.  My friend went through a major health crisis and her daughter ignored her through it all.  My friend was crushed at the daughters feeling so just finally gave up (after years of calling, texting, writing).  A few more years went by, but now they are close again.  I hope the same works for you and in time and she will realize the mistakes she made and come to you.  My heart hurts for you and I will pray for you.

Thank you Nancy, there IS hope after reading about your friend. I pray they stay close and that one day that will be me and my daughter ....hugs !