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Topic: Suggestions on how to handle a bully  (Read 1738 times)

countrygirl12

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Suggestions on how to handle a bully
« on: February 04, 2018, 11:55:56 am »
I may have already mentioned this before but can't remember.  How would you handle it if you had two 40 something year old women who bully you constantly at work.  Immediate managers are aware of the situation and say well that's just how they are.  It doesn't let up from start of shift until walking out the door in the afternoon.  If managers in the workplace and teachers in schools will not do something to stop bullying when they see it happening and know it is happening. I don't even know what to think.  It's no wonder they keep doing it. 

NRAJOE

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Re: Suggestions on how to handle a bully
« Reply #1 on: February 04, 2018, 11:59:54 am »
Have you gone to HR?
That's what their there for.
Had some weirdo female bugging me all the time...wanting to meet me in parking lot and giving me weird notes and telling everyone she loved me.
Told immediate managers and they thought it was funny... ::)

Went to HR and it stopped immediately.... :peace:

brian8713

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Re: Suggestions on how to handle a bully
« Reply #2 on: February 04, 2018, 12:01:00 pm »
What job field do you work in? That could help me answer your question.

countrygirl12

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Re: Suggestions on how to handle a bully
« Reply #3 on: February 04, 2018, 12:04:08 pm »
Have you gone to HR?
That's what their there for.
Had some weirdo female bugging me all the time...wanting to meet me in parking lot and giving me weird notes and telling everyone she loved me.
Told immediate managers and they thought it was funny... ::)

Went to HR and it stopped immediately.... :peace:

The immediate supervisor is aware of the situation as well as the big department manager.  At least one other manager in the area knows what is going on.  They mostly look the other way or make excuses.  I just cannot believe that a 40 year old woman could be so immature.

countrygirl12

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Re: Suggestions on how to handle a bully
« Reply #4 on: February 04, 2018, 12:05:32 pm »
What job field do you work in? That could help me answer your question.

How would knowing where I work help you to answer the question?  How would you handle a bully who constantly bullies you at work?  It doesn't matter where you work or what type of work you do.  It is ridiculous that middle aged adults think it is okay to bully someone else.  For any reason.

LenoraMinogue

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Re: Suggestions on how to handle a bully
« Reply #5 on: February 04, 2018, 05:30:06 pm »
If the bully actually ever puts their hands on you and you feel threatened, then you can go directly to the police. I had to do that for a job before when HR wouldn't take my complaints seriously. The police got involved and it turned out this other employee had an extensive criminal record and was let go.

aflyingmonkey

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Re: Suggestions on how to handle a bully
« Reply #6 on: February 04, 2018, 06:04:30 pm »

It sounds like you are working in a hostile work place environment...   knowing where you work only matters because it would expand your options.  If it is a big enough company to have an HR, that is the place to go.   If you are union then you'd go to your union rep.

Keep documentation of everything that is happening to you, & when you speak to your managers & they're reaction.

If your closest mangers don't fix your environment, then keep going higher up to the next in line.

Hostile working environment is not healthy, it could result in stress & anxiety & then you could go out on a sick leave (if you have that)... go out on a medical leave of absence due to stress could lead to a lawsuit by you against the company... it would be in your companies best interest to fix the problem.

It's your company's issue to stop the bullying & stop the hostile work environment.  Because really there is only so much you can do.  Your managers should be speaking to those individuals and giving them progressive discipline for creating a hostile work environment.

Document EVERYTHING.... that is key, for your own protection.

surveypro2016

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Re: Suggestions on how to handle a bully
« Reply #7 on: February 04, 2018, 06:29:13 pm »

It sounds like you are working in a hostile work place environment...   knowing where you work only matters because it would expand your options.  If it is a big enough company to have an HR, that is the place to go.   If you are union then you'd go to your union rep.

Keep documentation of everything that is happening to you, & when you speak to your managers & they're reaction.

If your closest mangers don't fix your environment, then keep going higher up to the next in line.

Hostile working environment is not healthy, it could result in stress & anxiety & then you could go out on a sick leave (if you have that)... go out on a medical leave of absence due to stress could lead to a lawsuit by you against the company... it would be in your companies best interest to fix the problem.

It's your company's issue to stop the bullying & stop the hostile work environment.  Because really there is only so much you can do.  Your managers should be speaking to those individuals and giving them progressive discipline for creating a hostile work environment.

Document EVERYTHING.... that is key, for your own protection.

I love your response. We have a similar situation in a social club we belong to. We tried to resolve it without positive results. We filed charges against the person through the organization. It's currently being dealt with. I don't know why people have to bully others.

dreamyxo

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Re: Suggestions on how to handle a bully
« Reply #8 on: February 04, 2018, 07:32:40 pm »
Document everything.  Record them if you have to.  Build your case go to HR and threaten to sue them for a hostile work environment if they don't do something about it.

jwkelly

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Re: Suggestions on how to handle a bully
« Reply #9 on: February 04, 2018, 08:39:22 pm »
Definitely record them,file a complaint,hostile work environment  lawsuit,turn lemons into lemonade(they get fired and you get more money),watch your back though.Might want to take self defense classes and carry pepper spray .
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froggylover227

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Re: Suggestions on how to handle a bully
« Reply #10 on: February 05, 2018, 09:31:47 am »
I went through something similar last year. I'm 31, and this lady was in her 50s. All she wanted to do was talk down to me, and make me feel inferior to her. We had many arguments, and many times I went to my manager about it. Even my other co-worker had occasional spats with her. All I heard was "Ok, it will be documented". Well one day, she got up in my face, said some threatening words, and I decided I had had enough. I called my manager again, had my co-worker back me up on what had happened, and told him I felt threatened and in a hostile work environment. I told him I wanted HR involved, and he immediately got them involved. She got suspended for week. When she came back, nothing really changed, but she wound up getting herself fired over a bunch of other stuff. When in doubt, contact HR.

brian8713

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Re: Suggestions on how to handle a bully
« Reply #11 on: February 05, 2018, 10:25:45 am »
I don't disagree that middle aged adults shouldn't be bullying other people. I was just looking for more information to see if I could help you with your question. I'm sorry if my reply apparently offended you.

UGetPaid

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Re: Suggestions on how to handle a bully
« Reply #12 on: February 05, 2018, 12:52:04 pm »
Well, if you were a kid, I'd tell you to bully them right back.  There's no better bully repellent than a sock in the nose! But you can't go around punching co-workers, I suppose.  Still, I agree with a few other responses. Knowing the type of work you do (not necessarily the company name or details) or size of the company might help to generate helpful ideas and no reason to lash out at someone who asks you that.


I work in a very small office with no HR department or large hierarchy. How I would handle things here is very different from how I would go about it in a company with 30 employees, which is different from how I would go about it in a company with 500+ employees.  I work a desk job in an office with limited exposure to the general public, but larger exposure to individual clients. How I would handle things here is very different from how I would go about it in a workplace with a more manual labor atmosphere or in a service job in the public sector.


The actual type of bullying might also factor into how it could be handled as well.  But all that said, documentation is definitely key.  I would go so far as creating a chronological timeline of when/how it started and each incident of bullying, including your response (if any).

JaniceSW

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Re: Suggestions on how to handle a bully
« Reply #13 on: February 05, 2018, 02:46:27 pm »
I think you have been provided some good advice here, especially from "flyinmonkey." Also, remember that the more a bully thinks they are getting to you, the more they bully.  Of course, some things cannot be ignored. Quite frankly, it sounds like your supervisors need training on how to handle such a situation and you may have a grievance against them as they are contributing to the situation by NOT handling it.

However, this particular situation aside, I am not surprised that even adults do not behave like true adults sometimes but bullies instead.  They are probably parents of bullies.  Furthermore, have you read some of the comment responses lately after certain political and social articles?  People in this country are saying some of the most atrocious things to each other. Is just not a matter of disagreement, but nasty, vicious, classless bullying.  I really thought lived in a country with better people than I have been exposed to over the last 6 months or so.

mrisha

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Re: Suggestions on how to handle a bully
« Reply #14 on: February 05, 2018, 05:14:49 pm »
Being bullied when I was very young.  Another girl on the bus was bullying everyone on the bus, but when she tried to do the same to me, I looked her in the face and said just try hitting me or anything else I will knock you out the bus window. You have to face up to bullies or they will not stop.  You also have do the same with Adults.
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