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Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: BK_Adores_Chase on August 02, 2010, 05:11:10 am
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I feel like my boyfriend and I have lost our spark. He always wants my attention but I'm always "too busy" and when we do hang out, I feel like he's bored and I can never come up with anything fun to do. We have a 26 month old. Also, it seems like things he does annoys me but if anyone else did it I would laugh or say something silly back. Why do I do this to him and how can I change my outlook. I do love him, so I don't know why I act this way.
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Some people have a fear of commitment. It sounds like you're trying to push him away. Try to think of things you did when you first got together. Go out and DO something... Go to a zoo, park, fishing, anything. My hubby and I went through a spot where we never got out of the house. We seemed to get on each other's nerves a lot more then!
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This is the how things are when he is more in love with you then you are him, but if he suddenly lost interest, you would probably want him, if this is your only problem, then I wouldn't leave him, or make it seem boring, their is alot worse out there, why do we always not want the things that are good for us.
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Oh I know, we went out to the bar this weekend and even when he talked to another girl I got jealous, but if he talks to me half the time I blow him off or don't listen. Yes, it does seem like he loves me so much. Even after 4 years, he is very loving - hugs and kisses and sometimes I get annoyed and I don't know why. I did go fishing with him yesterday (even though it was boring for me because I had to watch my 2 year old the whole time instead of fishing as well)
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I'm in the same boat as you...my BF andI have bee together 2 years and sometimes things he used to do to make me laugh I have to suppress an eye-roll at. I know I love him and I have no interest in being with anyone else, it's just that I get annoyed so easily. If he tries to get me "in the mood" I try to get away...it's not the actual "IT" that bothers me, I just feel so blah and unhappy about howI look even though he shows me he still finds me sexy. It's so frustrating!
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If he tries to get me "in the mood" I try to get away...it's not the actual "IT" that bothers me, I just feel so blah and unhappy about howI look even though he shows me he still finds me sexy. It's so frustrating!
It sounds like you're having a little self doubt, which is no fun. Once a week, I try to make myself up even if I'm just staying at home. I take a nice bubble bath, get smelling nice, do my hair and make up and nails, and put on something that makes me feel sexy. It's important to do little things for yourself to boost your own self esteem. If you can do it for yourself, you won't feel so awkward if he finds you attractive! :thumbsup:
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You're very right, I usually feel much better if I just get some "me" time which is hard to come by with a one year old lol.
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Just sounds like you're a typical girl. If a guy shows you attention and is nice to you, you have no interest. Maybe if he had a drug problem or hit you or wanted nothing to do with your child you might love him more.
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Just sounds like you're a typical girl. If a guy shows you attention and is nice to you, you have no interest. Maybe if he had a drug problem or hit you or wanted nothing to do with your child you might love him more.
I don't think what you described is typical. Psychologically speaking, women who look for those types were often treated bad by other men (maybe even their own father) and have become accustomed to poor treatment. Codependency counseling is GREAT for curing the low self worth that those women might be facing. Once you increase their self worth, they'll be able to attract healthy men, and likewise, healthy men will be attracted to them. :heart:
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I've already been with the stereotypical abusive drug addict and I left him without a second glance. I'm not one of those girls that thinks the grass is greener if the man is pissing on the lawn. I love and appreciate my boyfriend but we are going through that same "funk" all normal, couples go through.
Just sounds like you're a typical girl. If a guy shows you attention and is nice to you, you have no interest. Maybe if he had a drug problem or hit you or wanted nothing to do with your child you might love him more.
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Just sounds like you're a typical girl. If a guy shows you attention and is nice to you, you have no interest. Maybe if he had a drug problem or hit you or wanted nothing to do with your child you might love him more.
Oh no you didn't! I can't even think of a response low enough to respond to this. Oh how about just because you had a bad experience with a girl who showed no interest in you doesn't mean you have to blanket statement all of us.
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As for the OP maybe you can take some time apart. Like a vacation or something. Even for just a day. If you see too much of one person they can begin to get on your nerves.
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Bitches be crazy that's all.
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Bitches be crazy that's all.
Wow. With your attitude and calling WOMEN "bitches," it's just a wonder why we have such low opinions of most men. I'm glad my husband is respectful and decent to ALL women, even if he doesn't get along with them. I guess it just goes to show what a good, strong female role model (a.k.a. "Mom") can do in her son's life. :heart:
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NOT a expert been married 22 years but it sounds like to me your looking for away out.... it should never be a chore to be with someone ... being in love and loving someone in my book are 2 different things.... Hope you got lots of good advice
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i wish me and my man would do more things but we havent had the money. thankfully he starts a new job on monday.
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Love :heart: do you love him? Think about your life without him in it.
TRUE LOVE is a wonderful thing. But the "in Love" feeling doesn't last forever. Yes I am crazy about my husband but that goosebumps and all that lasts around 2 years and then true love begins... you have to make an effort to keep love alive and not take each other for granted. Say nice things to him even if you have to think really hard to complement him, make time for him ... just him and don't be too quick to throw it away. It is sooooo much better to put all your energy into making what you have work than to start over .... yes you get that "in love" feeling again but it too fades ... and that is not a bad thing. True Love is much better than the rush of new love.... you can have a rush from the love you have if you are willing to work at it. Good luck.....
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Sounds like you need a baby break to be perfectly honest. Maybe spend some time just for you and then after try to reconnect with him. :)
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Yeah, all of my time and attention goes to my son during the day. I used to clean during the day, but then I felt like I was neglecting my son. Now I clean before I go to bed AKA the only free time I actually have to spend with him. If I don't clean the house at night, it will be a disaster - so what now? I recently made the choice to keep my son away from video games. Do you think it's okay for him to play for like a half an hour so my boyfriend and I can have some alone time?
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I started a chart for myself with my daily "chores" to help keep me organized and it also keeps me from being overwhelmed and taking up too much time. I just take the big things that have to be done (clean floors,bathroom, dusting etc) and assign them to one day a week and then just do the dailies when it's needed,like dishes and making beds, laundry. It really freed up my days- and nights. As far as picking up every little thing before bed, just let it lie. Socks on the floor til morning won't kill anyone lol. And some video game time is ok, it's not like you're parking him in front of it all day...also could have him help around the house to earn more game time. :thumbsup:
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I feel like my boyfriend and I have lost our spark. He always wants my attention but I'm always "too busy" and when we do hang out, I feel like he's bored and I can never come up with anything fun to do. We have a 26 month old. Also, it seems like things he does annoys me but if anyone else did it I would laugh or say something silly back. Why do I do this to him and how can I change my outlook. I do love him, so I don't know why I act this way.
That's happened to me before with a boyfriend I had in the past and I can relate with what you're going through. The only thing is that I never had children with the guy. When there's a child involved i think it would be much harder. Maybe you can get a babysitter and set time apart for your man. If he always wants your attention it's probably because you gave him that attention in the beginning of your relationship. I know relationships do change over time but with communication and finding out what you both want and need from each other is very important. Fortunately, I'm not going through this with my husband. There are times where we may get on each other's nerves but we work through whatever issue the best that we can. I can't stress it enough Communication is key. Talk to him when you're not angry and when he's not angry. Sometimes, couples that are living together or married have to act like they're still dating each other. I hope I'm making sense. Whatever you did in the beginning with him try to bring that back and hopefully things will get better for the both of you. If he loves you and is looking for your attention and you love him too then it should work out for the best. If he's annoying you is probably because you too spend way too much time together or you're both stuck in the house not doing anything on the weekends. That's probably why he's bored all the time. I think he needs to take the initiative and plan a day with you as well. Instead of leaving the planning all to you. For me I find that I act the way I do because of how I saw my mother acting with my father. That may be the case for you. I don't know. But think about your past experiences or how you were brought up and usually that would be your answer. I hope this helped. With all sincerity I wish you and your boyfriend the best.
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Your probably going through hormonal problems. Women that gave birth recently tends to go through some kind of depression. Seek medical help. It's not worth losing a good man. But if you don't love him enough to respect him then you should let him go. One sided love affairs never work some one will be hurt! Me, I wouldn't mind having a BF that pays attention to me. There's a lot of lonely women out here that would kill for what you've got. Keep him or give him away lady. Make a choice.
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I feel that me an my baoyfriend of 3+ yrs are losing that SPARK EVERYTHING he does drives me crazy, i would rather be taking care of two 3 year olds than him and my 3 yr old.....
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Bitches be crazy that's all.
I agree. Nobody is ever happen even they have everything. Tell those bitches if they don't like it get rid of him. Lonely women are waiting for that man they take for granted!!! :thumbsup:
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Yeah, all of my time and attention goes to my son during the day. I used to clean during the day, but then I felt like I was neglecting my son. Now I clean before I go to bed AKA the only free time I actually have to spend with him. If I don't clean the house at night, it will be a disaster - so what now? I recently made the choice to keep my son away from video games. Do you think it's okay for him to play for like a half an hour so my boyfriend and I can have some alone time?
Looks like you just want to be out of the relationship. Worrying about whether your child is playing with video games instead of dealing with you man issue is a BIG sign. If you care maybe you & the bf should divide the house work so you won't have to do it all. But from all your responseS, I feel that you need to let him go. It's not fair him & for you. Say good by & move on with your life. :wave:
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Bitches be crazy that's all.
lol ;D
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Sounds like you're not into him anymore and making yourself feel guilty about it.
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there are times in a relationship that you need your own time. I do agree with making yourself feel good about you. maybe you guys need a date night, also need you time. Me and my husband have a date night at least once a month we go out to dinner, go to a movie, just things like that. Also we have our oen time too. Like tonight he is probably going to go play volleyball with some friends and I am going to do my own thing, being around each other all the time you will start to get on each others nerves. And I know that it is harder for you because there is a kid in the mix, but get a babysitter. Won't hurt to do that just once a month. Good luck with it and i hope it works out for you.
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What the h*ll is a 26 month old baby doing playing video games enough that you have to write about keeping them from him?! I think you have much bigger problems than the fact you no longer care about the guy you're with. Just my opinion on it, but what happened to REAL toys for learning? Yes, I know I'll hear all about how 'educational' video games are - so much better than interacting with tactile toys..... :(
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Actually, I'm proud to say that I cut my little guy off of video games. I didn't think there was anything wrong, but now I feel like for the first 2 years of my son's life he was neglected. I feel shitty, but at least I made the change. He has much more energy and is a whole new (better) kid. For those of you who have kids and let them play video games all the time - cut them off now. You'll be happy you did.
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Just sounds like you're a typical girl. If a guy shows you attention and is nice to you, you have no interest. Maybe if he had a drug problem or hit you or wanted nothing to do with your child you might love him more.
WHAT??? OMG where did you come up with this? I personally have been with a drug dealer, he beat me. I hated it and got out!! I met Danny and he was like no other man I have ever met. Opened the door for me everywhere, always tells me im beautiful, makes sure im always happy before he goes to work. And through all the tough times in our life he has never left my side. And he sets both of our girls on a pedestal. I love it all! But I also make sure my husband knows im here for him, it goes both ways. So I know im not this TYPICAL GIRL you speak of.
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I agree. We've married for about 9 yers, and still feel like we are in honeymoon.