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Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: kristine9109 on September 21, 2010, 06:25:08 am
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I am currently engaged to a guy who is 20, not much older than myself. I am very mature for my age and i know what i want out of a relationship. Give me some ideas of what you think is to young or if 19 is way to young?
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Marriage is a huge responsibility BUT I think that Love and your heart have no age restrictions. My Sister was married when she was 20, our Family was so angry...they just had their 40th anniversary. If you believe that you can handle the stress and ups and downs of married life then you have to listen to your heart.
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Thank you for your post. My family is so uptight about marriage at a young age but they all have been married at least three times. I know that i can be in a devoted relationship. He's in the army and will be deploying soon, he knows ill be faithful, all i need is my dog and school.
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I don't think your age matters, Only you know if your mature enough to handle married life, it's not like your kids with nothing going for you and no plans and just decided to get married, your guy is going to be protecting this country. :thumbsup:
I say do what you think is right for you, Good luck, Congratulations and Thank you and your Man for your sacrifice to protecting freedom :peace: :wave:
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As they said before it's huge responsability and you have to be willing to do ur best to make it work so you'll take a lot of stress if you think you can do it and belive that he can do it too then it's ur perfect age, but honestly for me I think it's too young to know exactly what you really want as you don't have enough experience so I think you should give urself second chance to think about it if you get to the same beleive that both of you can do it then Congratulations and I wish u the best of luck
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I am currently engaged to a guy who is 20, not much older than myself. I am very mature for my age and i know what i want out of a relationship. Give me some ideas of what you think is to young or if 19 is way to young?
Well I was twenty when I married and if I had it to do all over again I would wait until I accomplished some goals of my own before settling down, like an education, career, travel some, saving account, and maybe doing what ever I really wanted to do your passion, because before you know it children, house mortgage, bills bills all come, live a little first then think long and hard about marriage!!!!! :peace: :heart:
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It's not a matter of whether you are "too young" or not. If you believe you are mature enough, and that you love this man, then that should be enough for you; nothing people say or don't say on this forum should change that.
That being said, have you truly thought about what it will be like when he deploys? Trust me, if you love him, then a dog and school will not allow you to be "fine". Being apart for an extended period of time is extremely rough (emotionally) on a relationship. My fiance often has to travel, sometimes for months at a time, for disaster recovery tests for his job. We've been together for 7 years now (and I was your age when we first got together), but it's still very lonely without him when he's gone. Also, having grown up in a military town, I've seen firsthand just what it's like for the military wives.
Also, have you truly talked to your family about WHY they are so uptight about young marriage? Perhaps they married young and regret it, and simply don't wish for you to have a similar experience... (of course, only you know if they did or not; I don't, this is merely speculation on my part) My parents married young (and divorced young) so I do know about remarriages firsthand.
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I'm 23 and I wish someone would have warned me. You might love this person, you might see yourself having this persons children, cooking for him, picking up his underwear off of the bathroom floor. All of these things can be accomplished without getting married. Just remember that a marriage is a legal binding contract. There's no point in rushing things. If it feels right now, it will feel right in 5 years, in 15 years... In 40 years. Good luck in whatever you decide.
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i dont think so it depends on the 19 yr old some mature faster than others , but dont come and run for the hills when it comes time to be an adult after the "cuteness" of marriage fades and gets real :thumbsup:
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As long as you consider him as your best friend, you’re all. I don't see it to be too young. My husband and i were friends first, then lived together, married, just had our first child ... to where to this day 9 years later we can come out with the same phrases at the same time. Fights we have had i can count them with one hand and either one appologizes at the end. Our first one ever scared his kids bc they had never seen us fight before his little girl cried. After being in Disney for an entire day lost in orlando lathargic anything can happen. But at the end you have to push the little things away and look at the big picture.
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yes
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WHEN U KNOW U KNOW REGARDLESS OF AGE.. SO FOLLOW UR HEART..
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You can get married at any age, people in other countries get married much earlier then 19 such as the sudanese, also remember if you get marry MEAN IT!!!!!! Whoever divorces their mate except on the ground of fornication and marries another commits adultery!!!!!!!!!!!!(Matthew 19:9)
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there is like a 90% chance you will be divorced within 5 years if u get married at 19 :binkybaby:
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I think that if you are both responsible adults- been paying your own bills, both working, have similar life goals- then age isn't important. But don't rush down the aisle...I'm a firm believer in living together before marriage so you can learn as much as possible about each other. My bf and I agree that we'd rather put money into buying a house and new cars before spending money on a piece of paper. We know we love each other, we have our family's support and that's enough.
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I think 19 is too young to get married, you have not experienced the whole dating thing and also you need to experience life. I know some people that got married when they were young and it did not work out. The husband was not ready to give up going clubbing or hanging out with fellows every night. The wife was not ready to give up that either,I think that when you are 19 you should not be thinking about being married just have fun!
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I think 19 is too young to get married, you have not experienced the whole dating thing and also you need to experience life. I know some people that got married when they were young and it did not work out. The husband was not ready to give up going clubbing or hanging out with fellows every night. The wife was not ready to give up that either,I think that when you are 19 you should not be thinking about being married just have fun!
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No I've seen younger marriages last longer than when your older, as long as you both love each other a lot it'll work t fine :)
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my brother got my now sister in law pregnant at 17. he's 3 yrs older then her but hadnt quite turned 20 yet. they married when she was 8 months along with my niece. she was still 17 coz her b-day is in june so her parents both signed permission for them to marry and we all were glad that they were married when my niece came. they are still together...they've had their problems and almost broke up but i guess something worked itself out and they are still together.
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No one can live your life for you but there'd be no way in hell I'd ever get married at 19 or suggest to any 19 year old that they get married. There are so many things out there that you could be doing and imho getting married should be the last thing you should be doing. Go out and live your life and have fun, date, travel, become independent and live on your own, get an education, get a career do anything else to fulfill your life and get to know yourself but wait. You may think you are mature for your age but experience and life is the best teacher and one day you'll look back and see you weren't as mature as you thought you were.
I'm sure you are aware of the statistics of marrying so young, some people make it some don't but the odds are stacked against it. Ultimately it's your life and you have to live it the way you see fit. If you feel in your heart this is the best decision for you at this time then go for it. Live and learn.
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I agree that the age is not what matters. Do you have the commitment to handle marriage? there are way too many people out there that when it gets tough they head to divorce court. Marriage is not to be entered into lightly. If you place God first in your marriage i beleive that it will survive. With God All things are possible.
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OMG yes!! Even at 24 I was still too young. I feel you need to grow up enough to really know who you are, or you change and don't want the same things anymore, even your husband.
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I will be turning 30 in a couple months...and 19 is WAYYYYY to young to marry. Things seemed to be changing every few months at that age. Maybe I'm selfish but I still have tons of things I want to do with my life at 30 and marriage isn't one of them. Have many friends who chose the same route and many of the marriages didn't work. And they haven't experienced nearly all the things in life as the others who waited until they were at least 23.
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our minds in the area of critical thinking and decision making are not fully developed until at least 25. The things that you enjoy at 19 are not going to be the same things you enjoy at 25 or even 30, so my advice would be to wait but i have heard of marriages that last a long time even when the couple marries young.
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That's hard to say. I was 18 and way too young. The thing is that people change so much over the years. By the time you're 30, you will be very different than you are at 18. I do see people who get married at a young age and stay married for a long time. I also know people who stay married either for the kids or for convenience when they are tired of each other and have nothing in common.
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I married at 19 - 29 years ago so I can't say it's too young... it depends on maturity. :thumbsup:
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Depends on how mature the couple is.
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I think it is! Though I have a friend who is 21 and already has a child! I know in the older days, 19 was normal age to be married!
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When you get married, you begin to realize these little things that bother you about eachother, things that were not apparent before. If you are not mature enough to put aside those little differences and have empathy for eachothers misgivings, your marriage will not last. If your marriage is built on lust and not love, it will not last. Can you see yourself growing old with this person? Working out finances, having kids? Do you think that you will never have arguments with eachother? Have you lived together for awhile? Do you have serious second thoughts? Ask yourself some of those questions, then you will know.
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I think that might be a little young but it doesnt matter when it comes to love i guess. In my family a lot of people got divorced....so i am kinda careful. I been with my bf for almost two yrs and I am uncure when we r going to get married.
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Hell yes that is too young to get married. What is the hurry? You need to wait awhile because you don't even really know who you are and what you want from life at that age.
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I don't think your age matters, Only you know if your mature enough to handle married life, it's not like your kids with nothing going for you and no plans and just decided to get married, your guy is going to be protecting this country. :thumbsup:
I say do what you think is right for you, Good luck, Congratulations and Thank you and your Man for your sacrifice to protecting freedom :peace: :wave:
What that guy said.
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:thumbsup: I really don't think that age matters, the reason that I say that is that , I was 22 when I started to see my husband we talked about marriage, but we did not do it till we were 24. I have been with my husband now for 9 years. No it is not always great, but it is how we come together at the end of the day that matters. so I have one question do you love the guy? if so then the rest will work its self out, but you have to work together and not give up at the first signs of trouble. Best of luck.
:peace: and :heart:
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It depends on you and who your marring. I got married at 19 and have been married very happly for 15yrs now. I hated being single. But if your lucky enough to find your soul mate then everything is right as rain. Just make sure your marring for the right reason and not just b/c you think your in love. Know it and make sure they are sure also. Good luck and congrats if you do!! :wave: :thumbsup: :cat:
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Hmmm 19 is a little young to get married in current days...I personally feel... this is the age to enjoy your life to the fullest... Than to get into big responsibility called marriage..probably u can push urslef a couple of years..
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No, as long as you love each other, age doesn't matter. My aunt got married at 17, she now has four kids with him and they are still happily married. =]
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Are your families okay with you two getting married so young? It's better to get married when both people have developed stability in their lives with a house and a permanent income. If you have all of those, then your marriage should be fine. Otherwise, go to college first, then think about marriage.