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Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: hensleyll on August 23, 2011, 08:31:05 pm
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My husband is the most hateful *bleep* i have ever run across!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!GOD Please Give Me Strength!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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what happen?
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My husband is the most hateful *bleep* i have ever run across!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!GOD Please Give Me Strength!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you know i can under stand that
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girl mine uses me for my money i swear if he does not get a job by christmas i'm out after the first of the year i'm so done :BangHead:
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Well, if misery loves company, I understand completely. I have been married for approx 30 years and wish I had gotten a divorce a long time ago. I hung in there because I thought God expected me to but now I am 58 years old and feel like I can't stand my husband and don't even want to try anymore. I hope things get better for you, you will be in my thoughts and prayers.
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Life's too short. Get counseling. If that doesn't work, get a divorce.
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are you married to my X husband .... or I forgot he is SATAN!!! :BangHead:
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WOW life is short if you are truly unhappy move on you cant change someone
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Better to get out now before you really hate him! If you don't know why you're married, it makes little sense to stay married. There's nothing good about being unhappy.
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If you feel you have done everything you can to try to fix your marriage and make it work and know that you aren't ever going to be happy with it, my advice is to get a divorce. No one deserves to be unhappy all the time. Get out there and take some time for yourself. You don't need to rush into anything too quick. You usually find happiness when you least expect it. There is nothing you can do except do your best in a marriage, and you can't change anyone but yourself. I hope you find what makes you happy and wish you the best.
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My husband is the most hateful *bleep* i have ever run across!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!GOD Please Give Me Strength!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well what happened you never got that off of your chest. I would say communication is maybe a problem so if you can not resolve the issue whatever it may be then maybe get help. it is a little hard when no one knows your and his issue who knows if you spill the beans maybe this forum people can give better suggestions. :thumbsup:
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I agree that you should try counseling, but if that doesn't work get a divorse. Not only does this effect you, but it also effects the people around you. When you are a unhappy person it will brings others around you down. Get out and start thinking about yourself.
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My Biggest problem about leaving is he is going thru depression and is disabled ,can`t work and seeking medical treatment . He asked me before starting treatment if i would not leave him if he gets disabled. However i did tell him i will not stay if he doesnt stop being so mean and vindictive.He is the only one in the house who dont work he sits on couch all day thinking of things to pick a fight about with me or one of our kids,they are all over 20 .It`s like he is jealous or something!
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Wow, that sounds really hard to live with. I'm really sorry.
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i think his disability makes him act like an *bleep*/
we all have problems.
can u leave him for couple of hours by himself????
just to see ... :BangHead:
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My Biggest problem about leaving is he is going thru depression and is disabled ,can`t work and seeking medical treatment . He asked me before starting treatment if i would not leave him if he gets disabled. However i did tell him i will not stay if he doesnt stop being so mean and vindictive.He is the only one in the house who dont work he sits on couch all day thinking of things to pick a fight about with me or one of our kids,they are all over 20 .It`s like he is jealous or something!
Depression is a hard thing to deal with. Is he getting any counseling for that? It actually is a common thing for the caregivers to receive the brunt of bad behavior from the ones that rely on them the most. It makes it real hard. Talk to the doctor they may have some ideas and if he is on medication maybe it needs to be adjusted or added. Do they have vocational rehabilitation for disabled persons there? That could help take the edge off of his depression as often disabled people don't feel like they are valuable any longer. Comes out in a whole lot of different ways with people.
I'd try talking to him about it and tell him that being mean to you doesn't exactly make you want to stick with him. Then the next time it happens tell him to adjust his attitude. (Or maybe I'm just mean :dontknow:) Good luck
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I'm so sorry you're unhappy and frustrated with your husband. All I can say to comfort you is that life is an ongoing journey, and people, situations, change. Yours can and will too.
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Things have gotten better because i did go away for couple of hours!
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That,s too bad. I had a husband like that once. I now have a boyfriend that I don't think I will be staying with. Have you heard of Blogtalk radio. they have sample psychic readings. You could get some advice there.
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Divorce.
If not, then a weapon is required.
You should never spend your life with anyone who does anything that remotely upsets you.
I have depression; its no excuse for being an *bleep* or in some peoples excuses, abusive.
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You guys make my living alone sound like Heaven!
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It sounds like he is using his disability to make you feel guilty for leaving. Talk to him, try counseling, and if he won't change, leave. You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else.
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My advice to you. Is that you cant change your husband. If you have let him know how you feel about things. He is still trippin. Pray and ask God to give you strenght and change the things that are ruining your marriage. Get Godly counseling if you still want your marriage. If you dont do the next best things. God is only gonna change the things you are will to try and go through.
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you are really a hero!!! you helping him to survive,you always on his side...
i mean...what else does he want from you????
you know,try to talk to him.
eventually,you are a human too.you get tired,frustrated,useful...
if he can help you somehow he can be nice,polite,understanding...that's the key!!!
you are brave!!!!i admire you!!!wish you all the bet especially when you really feel down... :thumbsup: :wave: :heart:
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You guys make my living alone sound like Heaven!
Heck...I live alone and I enjoy it. I do however wish to find that special someone in my life...I'm just not ready to have someone live with me. I just got over living with a "witch" for 2 years.
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Thanks For All The Advice And Support, We Went To Dr Today And For Once It Felt Like We Were In The Same Relationship! Hopefully He Really Is Going To Try To Be A Better instead Of Bitter Person!
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was he always this way or is this a recent thing? if he was always like this then why did you marry an *bleep* in the first place? if it's recent then have you suggested counseling for the two of you?
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Here's a question, why did you get married? I ask that because if you had any feelings like this before you married him, then you should have never done it. But, I totally understand what it's like to be in a bad marriage. I was in one for 17 years, and she was Satan's daughter. So, I got screwed. But, now that I am not with her anymore, I am fine. I found the true love of my life.
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I felt the same way about my ex. Leaving him and divorcing him even though we had a small child together was the best decision I ever made.
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My mother was married to my stepdad for 13 years, [my parents divorced when i was like 3] and like 6 years ago, my stepdad got diagnosed with Mineres Disease [vertigo in the ear. times like 100] and he takes SO MUCH MEDICATION. he basically couldnt work, cant drive, spends all his time on his computer, and ignored my mom, so she finally left him. i think it may have alot to do with the diseases, they change people. especially withmedications and stuff.
I wish you luck. i hope things get better for you! =
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A man should always treat his wife like a queen. No matter how she treats him back.
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A man should always treat his wife like a queen. No matter how she treats him back.
:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
:)
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A man should always treat his wife like a queen. No matter how she treats him back.
YES! YES! YES!!!!!!!!!!! :peace:
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Sorry to hear this, does he have any friends he can hang out with or family? I hope things works out for you.
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I think at times we all feel we should not of got married. If your relationship is that bad get a legal seperation of a divorce. I would not want to be in a relationship if I was unhappy. It will eat you up and make you feel horiable. We all are not there and we don't see what goes on so this really nedds to be your disicion. if you have tried to make it work and there is nothing you can do, you won't be able to change that person so you have to decide if the pro's and con's of this marriae, do what yoou think is right for you.
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If things are that bad and you are that unhappy than girl, LIFE IS TOO SHORT!! Move on, get a divorce and take some time to yourself. It's not worth being with someone just because of a piece of paper. If he is not the same person that you first met and first married than he did not keep his vows-so do not feel obligated to remain committed to someone that obviosly isn't to you. Hope that helps. :cat:
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Surely there must be some good in the relationship? Concentrate on the good times, try to communicate with him and let him know what is bothering you. If there isn't anything good in the relationship I think that you need to explore why you choose to remain with him. If it is because you have children...tis the weakest excuse because your children are being taught to stay in an unfilling relationship. Life is much too short to stick with something that consistently makes you unhappy.
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Well We Are Good Now I Would like to thank everyone for their support,come to find out he has been bottling anger up towards everything around him and felt like he was invisable! I`ve Learned to turn computer off once and awhile and just spend time alone with him ,no kids,or grandkids just me and him! It Really Does Take Two To Make It Or Break It!
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the only scriptural divorce is adultery no other divorce is legal according to the bible!!!!
9 I say to YOU that whoever divorces his wife, except on the ground of fornication, and marries another commits adultery.”(Matthew 19:9)
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This job of stuffing envelopes we took on together has changed our relationship tremendously ,it is like we have finally figured out what team work means!
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Oh my so many marriages with to many problems. I am young and have not been married but I don't know if I want to. I thought people get married becasuse they love each other what happened to the love you once had. Try to look deep and be understanding maybe the problem is embarising and they don't want to get help I don't know but these type of relationships are not good.
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stuffng envelopes... always wondered if that was worth it... let me know, lol!
my husband is military and his work recenly sent us on a marriage retreat...
may i say it worked wonders! Mark Gungor is the guy, an if u cantsee him live at least get the book "laugh yu way to a better marriage"... he was able to explain things to my husband in ways i couldnt... an i learned a thing or two as well!
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If his disability makes him like this, it means he hasnt dealt with it properly. How about counseling or other forms of therapy?
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I used to think that about mine. Then he got cancer, changed that dramatically. Almost like him now.
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wow... that is very sad. I think we can all say we have been where you are at least one time. Its hard to "stick it out" when you are treated so horribly. I think a good idea might be to get a hobby, or plan evenings out doing something you enjoy. Maybe with you gone, he will learn to appreciate you more? Good luck, and keep praying.
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You really need to talk to him. I assume he wasn't always this way so I would tell him what you used to like about him and what has changed. Then make it clear that the way he is treating you is hurtful and that is why you are considering leaving him if things don't change. You can also try and find out the source of his frustration, anger and vindictive behavior. If he isn't responsive to this approach perhaps counseling or spending more time away from the things that bother him such as getting take out, doing activities together even if it is at home. Having someone else stay with him while you have some time for yourself can also help you really clear your head and make a decision about the relationship.
Try to work it out and if there are no changes give an ultimatum and leave. At least you can say you tried to work things out and seek help and advice on the matter.
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Thanks For The Advice! I Took Day Off Of Both My Jobs , We Spent The whole Day At Home Alone,Had A Big Breakfast And Just Lounged Around Watching Movies And Talked He Has Been Feeling Less A Man Because Of His Disabillity!
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why did you get married in the first place?
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Because we love each other!
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Why did you rush to marry him :o You should of taken your time to know him better. I feel sorry, :confused1: :crybaby2:hope everything turns out ok.
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We lived together for 10 years had kids then grandkids then we got married,dont think that was rushing,do you? It just changed when we got married somehow,Not neccesarily for the good.
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girl mine uses me for my money i swear if he does not get a job by christmas i'm out after the first of the year i'm so done :BangHead:
my guy has been laid off for 2 years and his unemployment ran out in july...i've been paying the bills and i'm getting tired of it too. it's not just the moneythough,ican't stand himhaning around thee house day in and day ou :angry7: :BangHead:
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I Know Right And Every morning Why Do You Need To Go Just Stay Here! Someone Has To Pay The Bills !
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my man can be an *bleep* too but i'm glad i'm not as sensitive as i used to be. i am stronger now then i was. :thumbsup:
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Then why don't you figure this stuff out? I don't get why people can be people and just talk things out rather then posting in a forum of all places about their problems...
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ohh ohhh not good!!!
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Pray for him, he needs help. No one can be happy who goes through life like that. Don't let his negativity ruin your happiness. If it becomes unbearable seek change. Life is too short to live in an unhappy situation. Choose a circumstance in life that brings peace and a person who knows how to give love. :angel11:
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I was married to one of them once. Thank God I got out while I did. He was mentally and physically abusive, and I know that I did not deserve that. Counselling is your best bet, if that don't work then ditch his *bleep*, and wait for Karma to kick his *bleep*.
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My husband is the most hateful *bleep* i have ever run across!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!GOD Please Give Me Strength!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Um, is he truly an *bleep*, or do you not have empathy for what he is going through? Many marriages end because of this. You need to be on the same page, work together and talk to eachother, before it turns in to "my way, or the highway!!!" for the both of you.
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Update: We Share A Job All Expensives,I kept my parttime job outside the home we still have some arguements but it has calmed way down,I can just about live with this we still have some issues,working on them . I WOULD LIKE TO THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT.IT HAS REALLY HELPED TO KNOW I WAS NOT THE ONLY ONE OUT HERE WITH THESE KINDS OF ISSUES! He still has alot of compromising to do but he is willing to try I`m hopeful,will let you know later! AGAIN THANKS LOVE YOU ALL!
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My husband is the most hateful *bleep* i have ever run across!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!GOD Please Give Me Strength!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh lord, dont pay for strength or he'll surely test it! lol. hope everything is ok
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You re so not kidding wednesday was my hawdest day yet just didnt know if my marraige was going to last one more day! but here it is sunday and we had awesome weekend and praying for many more! Thanks for all the support!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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ANOTHER DOWN DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT GOING TO COMPLAIN IT COULD BE WORSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I KNOW THIS NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I sooooooo know this feeling!
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So Nice To Know I`m Not The Only One Out Here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Quite interesting, I love the diversity of these topics. And for your marriage, if you love him stay, if you don't; leave.
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I used to think the same thing. My ex wife is a sneaky mean nasty and evil human being. I tried for 17 years with her. Then she went and turned it on me and she left me! What a bit@h.
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Sounds like he has some pretty deep issues, is he in counsleing? What about you, it might do you good to go on your own if he won't go with you, it just may open up a whole new world for you both, give it a try before rushing into a divorce and once you know you have done all you can then make that decision. Good Luck to you both.
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Talk about your lives together. :angel11: Tell him what you need and want in a marriage, ask the same of him. :female: :male: You two may just not be a good match for each other. :dontknow: Don't waste time though, there is someone for everyone! :heart:
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It is just so damn confusing one day it`s gold the next it is hell! Feel like i live in a roller coaster!
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My husband is the most hateful *bleep* i have ever run across!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!GOD Please Give Me Strength!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel you... Been married for the past nine years, separated for the past two though. Best two years of my life! Not downing marraige or anything, maybe its just not for me. If he is hateful though I recommend you get out. If I could afford it, would be done all the way... long time ago.
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I do think we all sometimes wonder why we married someone at one time or another when things are rough. Right now you sound like you are on the rollercoaster ride with him. You can't change a person. They have to want to change themselves. I have stayed with my husband almost 18 years and endured a lot of emotional and verbal abuse thru all the years. A year ago I filed for divorce as hard as it was. I had no contact with my husband for several months during the legal seperation, and then we started seeing each other again. Of course he promised me everything under the sun, and said he felt like he would die without me. The time we spent together again was like falling in love all over again. I spent thousands on an attorney, and he sweet talked me enough to take him back. I dropped the divorce the day it was going to trial. Now he is right back to the same person he was. People's true colors always come back. He is the way he is because I have allowed him to be this way, by accepting the way he treats me. Everyday is a freaking rollercoaster ride again, and strangely I still love him, but I know he will never change, and he knows how to get the best of me. It's not worth giving up yourself to stay with someone - love or not. Maybe we think we love the person and try to give it our all, but maybe after so many years we are just to damn afraid to start over or be alone, especially when our self-esteem has been taken. I wish you the best and I hope that you make a better decision than I did. :heart: My heart goes out to you....I know your pain all to well.
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Well thanks sure sounds like you do know where im coming from.But like i always say i chose to live it,doesnt mean i like it! But she i do love him and try to accept that he depressed because he disabled! Swears this time he will be better! We Will See!
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My Biggest problem about leaving is he is going thru depression and is disabled ,can`t work and seeking medical treatment . He asked me before starting treatment if i would not leave him if he gets disabled. However i did tell him i will not stay if he doesnt stop being so mean and vindictive.He is the only one in the house who dont work he sits on couch all day thinking of things to pick a fight about with me or one of our kids,they are all over 20 .It`s like he is jealous or something!
He sounds like a guy with very low self-esteem issues and he might be in the process of subconsciously sabotaging the marriage. Take action and take good care of yourself!
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Love is sometimes not enough....as hard as it is, push emotions aside and think of yourself and your own future. I know it sounds terrible, especially when one loves another, but picture yourself in 5/10 years' time with the same problems as now. I wish you much wisdom in your decision. :-
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Thanks, All our Kids Are Out Of House Now,It Just He And I,Guess Time Will Tell! I Do Thank You All Fir Your Support.Somethings I Just Cant Say To Family! They Want To fix It there Way! Doesnt Always Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I imagine he feels really powerless and emasculated from his disability and his inability to provide for his family and himself. It sounds like his issues have a deeper meaning than just what it appears and he really needs help whether it is counseling or medication. You have to make it clear to him that you are not getting what you need from the relationship and that is it unrelated to his disability. Make the condition that he seek counseling and help from professionals or you will consider leaving him. Hopefully he will realize how much he really needs you and make the effort that is needed. I hope it all works out in the end
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Just like you stated, RIGHT NOW. Who knows how you will feel later, after he say he is sorry and you both make up. But if this is standard for you than, life is too short, get out now. I have been married for 35 year and I believe the best is yet to come. Be blessed and give it some time.
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Thanks ,I`m trying I Do Have Hope!
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Get a divorse, that will solve your problem.
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No I Dont Believe That Would Do It , I Do Love Him And I Dont Want To Throw Away 29 Years Until I Know Ive Tried Everything
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My husband is the most hateful *bleep* i have ever run across!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!GOD Please Give Me Strength!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yeah i'm going through a divorce 10 years of that will drive u nuts. :BangHead: wish me luck in december hon. & i hope u guys work out ur diffrences. :heart:
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We Are Trying I wish you luck my sister left her husband after 26 years ,I told her she had more kahunas then i do and she was always the good one who went to church and did every thing that way i did opposite ! kids moving in and then eventually marriage,been together for 29 years married going on 9
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Depression often is a roller coaster ride and it is not any more less so for the one who is depressed than observers. Get counseling it helps.
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Oh god. There is just a lot of drama in this world ::)
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I am sorry you have to deal with that. I hope you two can work thru this. I tried with my husband but he didnt want to make it work. My husband was a total *bleep* and was proud of it. He would say his middle initial A stood for *bleep*. Thank goodness he left me and the kids for someone 10 years younger. Now his girlfriend of 10 years gets to deal with him! He doesn't want to make it work for her either.
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Yes! The Other Woman Always Thinks she is best! Then It Hits Home! Shoot What Happened !
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Sounds like my sister. Must be somethin in the water.
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maybe it is just crazy!
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My husband is the most hateful *bleep* i have ever run across!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!GOD Please Give Me Strength!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Get out now. I was married to one for 10 years, stayed 9.9 years too long because I was trying to make it work. Too bad I was the only one trying. So one day I took off from work and moved out, filed for divorce and never looked back. God is giving you strength-he has given you the common sense to know that this person is not changing and its your time to move on and away from this individual.
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My Mind Tells Me To Go But My Heart Tells Me To Stay!
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In my opinion, if someone has been married for any good length of time and they say that they have never felt that way, then I just think they are lying. Don't worry you are not the only one who goes through those tough feelings.
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I totally understand...any thoughts on the bible and divorce?! My husband did not actually have a sexual affair but he did turn to another woman for comfort and talked to her about issues in our relationship. I definitely feel betrayed!
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My husband is the most hateful *bleep* i have ever run across!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!GOD Please Give Me Strength!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't listen to everyone who is saying get a divorce. I understand that you can't change the person they have to want to change themselves and do it. Pray to God, and get some counseling. Try making a list of pros and cons and write down what you can live with and you can't live with then work on them together with your husband. Let your husband know how you feel when he says or does hateful things. Find different ways to let out the stress. Try to figure out what gave you two that spark when you got married. A divorce is the very last thing you want to. If you need to go on a me time vacation, or a spa day to think things over with out distractions. I don't know I am just trying to give some ideas.
I don't know what you are going though, but I know this I grew with a father who is very predigest and racist. Also, he is very quick to his temper (one those I am always right kind of people and if you don't think like the way I think then you are a stupid person kind of person). It's very hard to live with it. Good luck and I wish you the best.
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Well Thanks For The Ideas ! We Are Doing Better These Days, Learning To Talk Things Over ! Getting Better At Compromising, Praying For A New Year!
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Man you people make me glad I am not married and don't plan to.
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It Not All Bad! Its Just Some Days Are Bad!