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Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: Nancy5 on December 08, 2012, 05:26:05 pm
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I quit smoking 12 years ago. I had a very good girlfriend who I went to clubs with and had lots of fun. She moved and just returned to the area She still smokes (1 - 2 packs a day) I want to "hang" with her, but how do I tell her not to smoke in my car or house. I tried one time and her answer was something like "what's the big deal, you used to smoke & I smoked in your
car and house hundreds of times" I want to see her but how do I get her to understand. My husband said tell her he refuses smoking in the house but I don't want to say that
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She should respect the fact that you dont want smoking in your car and home/just tell her the smoke bothers you and if she still dont get it then she not a real friend no afence :peace:
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Your friend should respect your wishes if she is a real friend.
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People who smoke usually understand about the smoking in the car or your home. My husband and I are trying to quiet smoking and I done told everyone when we quiet no one is smoking in the house or the car. They understood. I have to quiet I just got told by my doctor that I have the starting of emphazema and I still have time where I could quit and stop the progress or at lest slow it down a lot.
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(http://i199.photobucket.com/albums/aa239/HappySmith52/WattoGo.gif) That's Great Nancy,12 years, Glad you've quit.(http://i199.photobucket.com/albums/aa239/HappySmith52/WattoGo.gif)
Wish I could say the same for myself. I've smoked for over 40 years and don't think I'll be quiting any time soon...
Now, If your friend won't honor you and your husbands request not to smoke in your car & house, that has something to say about the friendship to begin with. Don't ask her not to smoke in your house & car, TELL HER not too... It's your life and you do not need to be subjected to the smoke/smell of someone who truly disregards your feelings... Like I said, I smoke but if/when it bothers others I will put it out before I get in the car or enter the house.
Geezz, What kinda friend is that anyway, not to respect your wishes !!!!!
(http://i199.photobucket.com/albums/aa239/HappySmith52/HaveAGreatDay.gif) ~~~Jerry~~~
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Yeah, if she's your real friend then she'll cut it out. It's your house and car not hers.
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Oh yes she should defiantly respect you I understand where you are coming from I use to smoke a couple years ago (I have not smoked since) and I HATE the smell of it, and I had a family member who would smoke in my house/ car and I would just tell them I wouldn't be rude about it but if they wouldn't understand I would get mad because I quit when I had my child I don't like him around smoke and if my child's parents don't smoke then people who do smoke that come around me or my child should not be aloud to either. I don't like when others smoke around me either because I don't want to smell like smoke around my child either.
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sounds like your friend has no respect
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A friend that has no respect is not a friend at all.
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You have to just tell her you realize how harmful it is now and you just can't have it in the house. If you want to sit outside when she "needs" one, do that with her, otherwise you'll just have to go neutral places to hang out.
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Hey man, you should give her an ultimatum, that is no smoking in my house, car or yard. Once you give them a yard, they want to take a mile. Do not keep her in your house or car if she refuses.
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we still smoke, but nolonger in the house. which has stopped my hubby from smokeing 2 packs a day down to less then 1 pack, hoping to get it down more, I still smoke maybe 5 a day if that much. But when he was smoking in the house i would light up more cigs. And now that it is cold maybe will get him to cut down more. Hoping.
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I have 2 older brothers and they both smoke. David is more respectful than our brother Matt. Matt can be disrespectful by smoking in our mom's vehicle. I hate the smell of smoke ever since I finally manage to quit smoking myself. I enjoy visiting my mom and brothers but, I hate coming home with my clothes smelling like smoke. My brothers smoke in our mom's house but, in their bedroom. Anyways, I hate the smell of smoke and I hope my brothers could quit smoking too.
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If she was an actual good friend then she would respect your wishes and respect it even more knowing that it's smoking in YOUR car YOUR house and that you quit smoking. There is no need to lie to her or to take what she is giving you. You should just tell her how you honestly feel.
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Thanks everyone :wave: You all said basically the same thing. I was also thinking the same but didn"t want to hurt her feelings. But it's not her feelings that are important - it's my feelings and my health! You guys are the best!! :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
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You should tell her that even though you used to smoke before, now you don't, and you do not appreciate having the smoke smell in your car or house. Let her know that you would love to spend time with her, but she has to respect your decision to not have smoking in the car or the house.
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Your friend should respect that you no longer smoke. Just explain to her that quitting is difficult and you worked hard for it and that you don't want to be around the smoke. She should understand, if she doesn't she may not be someone good to hang out with.
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I quit smoking 12 years ago. I had a very good girlfriend who I went to clubs with and had lots of fun. She moved and just returned to the area She still smokes (1 - 2 packs a day) I want to "hang" with her, but how do I tell her not to smoke in my car or house. I tried one time and her answer was something like "what's the big deal, you used to smoke & I smoked in your
car and house hundreds of times" I want to see her but how do I get her to understand. My husband said tell her he refuses smoking in the house but I don't want to say that
Smoking leaves a bad smell in the house. You can either tell your friend you don't want your house to smell like smoke or make up a story. You can say your mother-in-law is allergic to smoke or something like that. It usually helps. Either that or just ask your friend to respect your home, and remind them that things change as people grow up.
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I quit smoking 12 years ago. I had a very good girlfriend who I went to clubs with and had lots of fun. She moved and just returned to the area She still smokes (1 - 2 packs a day) I want to "hang" with her, but how do I tell her not to smoke in my car or house. I tried one time and her answer was something like "what's the big deal, you used to smoke & I smoked in your
car and house hundreds of times" I want to see her but how do I get her to understand. My husband said tell her he refuses smoking in the house but I don't want to say that
Being an ex-smoker as well, I can understand where you are coming from but, I really think she should respect the fact that you don't smoke anymore and that you don't want smoking in your car or home. If she can't do that, maybe it's time to re-evaluate the friendship..
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ive smokedc for almost 30 years,,i wish i could quit,,, :BangHead:
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You should tell her and show her some pictures of people online and show her the outcome of what happen to people who smoke. My great grandma die of cancer from smoking to much.
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You will have to be very firm with her. You do not smoke anymore. That is a good thing. You do not want to smell her second hand smoke in your house or your car and thats that.
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Congratulations, keep it up. :thumbsup:
If your "friend" can't respect you, your health, your wishes, your property, then she isn't a friend. You have to be strong and tell her straight out that if she wants to hang out with you she has to do her smoking elsewhere and not in your home or car. Today not smoking around other people in public places is the law. You have the right to clean air and healthy lungs. You didn't go through quitting and restoring your lung health for nothing. The choice is hers. She can enjoy the privilege of your company smoke free or she can go elsewhere and smoke. Like they say - if you love someone let it them go, if they're truly yours they'll come back to you. If she's truly your friend she'll take you seriously and respect you.
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Let her know that you no longer enjoy the smell of cigarettes, that it took a long time to get it out of the house, car and your clothes and that you do not want to do it again.
You could also tell her that you do not want to be tempted to start again.
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If she is a true friend she should understand that you don't smoke anymore and don't want the smell in your car, house, etc.
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It is simple. It is your house and your car. If you don't want her to smoke, she doesn't smoke in YOUR house or YOUR car.
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You need to tell her it is a big deal to you and ask her again to please not smoke in your house or your car.
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I need to stop smoking~ I have asthma
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I don't like smoking cigerettes unless I drink...but I partake in smoking...
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She should respect the fact that you dont want smoking in your car and home/just tell her the smoke bothers you and if she still dont get it then she not a real friend no afence :peace:
I am a former smoker. I quit 36 years ago and don't like to be around cigarette smoke. My current friends understand that I don't like smoking in the house or car.
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i would tell her that after all ur house ur rules,
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Though I am a smoker, I smoke outside and do not smoke in my car. She should respect your wishes if she is a true friend.
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Well, personally, I wouldn't it consider it a big deal, but you could always hang out with her outside or not at home. It's not really a test of true friendship, because I know that best friends can try to be as annoying as possible ;D . Just don't say that "if she doesn't stop, she isn't a true friend."
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i think you have a right to tell or not aloow anybody to smoke in your hopuse.
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I have plenty of friends who don't smoke even though I do and I respect their right to not have me smoke in their car or house. It's your car and house, just say something but be nice about it and if she's a good friend she will abide by your rules. Good luck!!! :thumbsup:
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Hopefully this will help. My mom, sister and I all smoke. When her youngest son was born we did not realize he was asthmatic and continued smoking in the house, car you name it. Until the day he became very sick and was brought to the hospital. The doctors told her about the asthma. Now we all respect the well being of her 14 year old son. Just ask to respect your wishes. Hopefully she can stay a true friend and respect you for that
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Your house, your rules. She may smoke outside.
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smoking is so gross. there are some cigarettes that dont stink but it's very rare to find those people. their houses dont stink either. it's nice.
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Thanks everyone :wave: You all said basically the same thing. I was also thinking the same but didn"t want to hurt her feelings. But it's not her feelings that are important - it's my feelings and my health! You guys are the best!! :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
Agree and good luck on telling her!! :)
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If you smoked years ago, presently or whatever; if you don't want smoking in your car are home then that's the way it should be. No questions asked. That is your home/car friend or not, you better control that issue before it cause problems in your home.
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As a kid, I experimented with cigarettes, but that is the extent of my experience. I think it is one of the most nasty habits anyone can have.
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She needs to respect your decisions
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I USE TO SMOKE ONE AND HALF PACK A DAY I QUITE ON APRIL 21/2000 AT 11.30AM IT WAS HARD THE FIRST TWO WEEKS BUT AS TIME WENT BY IT GET EASIER SO KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK
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Tell her your feelings about why you don't want her smoking in the car openly and honestly - and if she's a good enough friend, she'll listen to that.
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Congrats on quitting. A real friend would respect your wishes. It is not that hard to go outside and smoke especially in the warmer months.
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Isn't it it funny how some friendships can take off right from where they left off. I have a few friends like that myself. Even though the friendship is still there people do change and take on different likes and dislikes. I suppose your going to have to be down right Frank with your old time bud. Tell them like it is. It's your home and you have that right. Kudo's for having quit and stuck it out all these years. I hope your friend takes it with a grain of salt. If it's that big of an issue for them than the problem may be deeper than being more than a responsible/respectable smoker.
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I quit smoking 12 years ago. I had a very good girlfriend who I went to clubs with and had lots of fun. She moved and just returned to the area She still smokes (1 - 2 packs a day) I want to "hang" with her, but how do I tell her not to smoke in my car or house. I tried one time and her answer was something like "what's the big deal, you used to smoke & I smoked in your
car and house hundreds of times" I want to see her but how do I get her to understand. My husband said tell her he refuses smoking in the house but I don't want to say that
If you ask her not to and she still does she is NOT your friend. She is a BAD person that is unworthy of friendship.
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She needs to respect you!
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wow...thats not cool... i quit smoking and none of my friends do that to me
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I don't know...smoking outside is the only acceptable thing unless you live alone and it's your house. It's rude to anyone else to expose them to smoke even if the person you are exposing smokes themselves. I smoke cigarettes a little and smoke pot and me and all my friends all smoke outside.
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What's the big deal for her to go outside and smoke! If she can't respect that then she's not worth hanging out with anymore. You don't have to deal with her :bs: