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Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Debate & Discuss => Topic started by: lrharting on December 11, 2012, 08:28:15 am

Title: Children or No Children
Post by: lrharting on December 11, 2012, 08:28:15 am
What's you're decision?  Personally I've opted out because of a lot of circumstances in my life.  Plus, I knew from a young age that I did not want to be a 'mommy'.  To those who have decided to opt out what has been your experience?  To parents how did you arrive at your decision?
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: nhendrickson on December 11, 2012, 06:58:37 pm
No children here by choice also.  I think family and friends have always been a bit taken aback when I just say "no thanks" when they ask "Wouldn't you like to babysit?"for free no less, thinking I must have some unfulfilled maternal urges lol.  No, you had them so you get to take care of them.  I don't have the patience for children and I'm very career and fun oriented so I think it was for the best.  I know that I'd have a lot less disposable income and time to spend on things I enjoy.
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: articx on December 12, 2012, 09:23:17 am
No children for me. I do not want to make my life more difficult.
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: dauna on December 13, 2012, 04:59:16 am
No children here either.  I'd rather be the aunt; I get to fill them up with soda and chocolate and give them back!
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: rghvac69 on December 13, 2012, 05:42:05 am
 I don't think it is wise to bring a child into this world right now. The future is looking bleak.
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: lrharting on December 13, 2012, 09:46:05 am
Glad to see there are some fellow 'childfree' people here.  I love my niece, but I don't think I could do it full time.  She is just now getting to be fun for me, but when she was a baby I wasn't really sure what to 'do' with her.  I agree that this world is not the best place for children anymore either.  I think a lot of it has to do with how society is arranged now.  Kids grow up and leave their parents and make homes of their own sometimes not even in the same state.  I think the phrase 'it takes a village' is very true.  I have 4 cats, they are my children and babies and that is enough maternal-ness for me.

Interestingly, people seem to have more of a problem with my choice not to have kids than I do with their decision to have kids.
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: southernhorizons on December 14, 2012, 09:46:41 am
No children here either.  I'd rather be the aunt; I get to fill them up with soda and chocolate and give them back!
Now that's mean! LOL
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: dreamyxo on December 14, 2012, 11:58:19 am
Never had any desire to have kids.
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: ghunter on December 18, 2012, 09:12:15 am
Most of you who do not have children is really missing a lot, but God did not make everyone to have children, in fact some have them that should not have them, but if you have decieded not to have children for whatever reason you will NEVER know the joy of becoming a grand parent or even the happiness a child can bring two people who are in love, but to each person their own,  good luck to you all and blessing.
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: ssmsurvey on December 18, 2012, 09:39:26 am
I believe the choice to be a parent is huge. Not everyone should feel pressured to further their bloodline. I have 2 children and would not trade being their Mom for the world, however, I have friends who have no desire to be parents and I can applaud that. I think it is selfish to keep bringing children into the world if the mother's view is that it is her obligation to do so or that her 5+ kids are a gift. The world is over-populated and there are so many orphaned and homeless children with no parents to love them.
Enjoy the freedom to choose your path in life, whether it includes kids or not.
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: Tam28 on December 19, 2012, 08:42:15 am
No children unless you count my 2, 4 legged cats. Do to health issues with both of us we are unable to have children. Which I think is a good thing with everything that is going in this world. I like having my babies (cats) & they are just as spoiled as children are.
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: loulizlee on December 19, 2012, 02:53:56 pm
I would never deride anyone who decides not to have children.  In my case, I wanted very much to have children and went through a series of fertility testing and treatment.  After 13 years, I had a wonderful daughter.  Then, history repeated itself.  My daughter wanted a baby very much and took ferfility treatment and pills. After 13 years, she had a wonderful boy.  Some women have another calling to make them feel complete; for others, it is motherhood. 
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: nhendrickson on December 19, 2012, 04:54:02 pm
Most of you who do not have children is really missing a lot, but God did not make everyone to have children, in fact some have them that should not have them, but if you have decieded not to have children for whatever reason you will NEVER know the joy of becoming a grand parent or even the happiness a child can bring two people who are in love, but to each person their own,  good luck to you all and blessing.

Thanks, I'll think about you while I'm having a wonderful time with my boyfriend, enjoying ourselves and not having to worry about kids or grandkids lol.
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: lgemini on December 20, 2012, 08:27:19 am
I knew I wanted to be a parent, because I wanted to have a family to teach and to love. :heart:
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: hvnlydevil on December 21, 2012, 06:09:29 am
We have three children. I think I was born to be a mommy. I think I would have felt like something was missing if I didn't have any children. I do, however, have quite a few friends who have opted not to for their own reasons.
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: dreamyxo on December 22, 2012, 10:03:31 am
Most of you who do not have children is really missing a lot, but God did not make everyone to have children, in fact some have them that should not have them, but if you have decieded not to have children for whatever reason you will NEVER know the joy of becoming a grand parent or even the happiness a child can bring two people who are in love, but to each person their own,  good luck to you all and blessing.

That's your opinion so don't tell me what I am missing out on because everyone's life is different.  Maybe that's what you feel you would have missed out on but I do not feel like I am missing out on a thing.  I taught preschool for a few years and they were the best birth control ever.  I don't need other people to make me happy.  I am enjoying living the life I want to live without to burden or responsibilities of children.  I have joy not having to wipe someone elses butt.  I enjoy my sleep too much to have to be waken up every few hours.  I have joy knowing I don't have to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to take care of and send anyone to college.  The time I have for myself and pursuing my own goals and dreams is joy enough for me thank you very much. 
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: bobes915 on December 22, 2012, 03:18:51 pm
We are new parents.  We have an 11 month old daughter and it has been challenging but wonderful as well.  It is definitely a life-changing decision and one that should not be taken lightly.  I think the decision needs to flow out of answering questions like: what do I value most?  What do I want out of life?  What is going to be best for me and for my spouse/significant other?  How you answer questions like these should begin to shape your decision to have kids or not.   
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: jcalexis on December 22, 2012, 04:37:06 pm
It is a big responsibility to bring a child into this world. It requires a lot of patience, loving, understanding, caring to raise a child. Unfortunately, not everyone has these qualifications. My advice is don't bring any child into this world if you are not qualified to be a parent.
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: angsilva2000 on December 23, 2012, 01:35:43 pm
no children, cost too much money an you need a good man for that .
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: SherylsShado on December 25, 2012, 08:40:10 pm
My kids have paws.   :cat: :dog: :cat:
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: Mykat on December 28, 2012, 08:55:15 pm
What's you're decision?  Personally I've opted out because of a lot of circumstances in my life.  Plus, I knew from a young age that I did not want to be a 'mommy'.  To those who have decided to opt out what has been your experience?  To parents how did you arrive at your decision?



I believe I was born wanting to be married and to have children when I grew up. lol...I always wanted four children but after our third, my husband and I felt our family was complete and we never had second thoughts about having more. Realizing both of my hearts desires has been the greatest joy and satisfaction in my life and I couldn't imagine life any other way. My youngest daughter however, feels she doesn't want to get married or have children and she has felt that way for as long as she can remember.  How it will turn out down the road for her has yet to be determined, but if she continues to feel this way, I will support her for following her heart.



Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: ilovedevin on December 28, 2012, 10:23:12 pm
I have a wonderful 9 month baby boy and he's myy pride and joy. I had been with  my ex husband of 4 years and i never got pregnant by him. I always thought that it was my fault and thats why he had left me but when i met my husband  on the first try he got me pregnant and now i feel compet.  Everyone  has the choice to be a perant and for some of them it takes longer then other. To all of you that dont have kids good luck and god bless you and to those who have kids we are blessed for having them in our lives  ;D
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: hawkeye3210 on December 29, 2012, 08:05:50 am
I hope to be a parent when the time is right.
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: csomma on December 29, 2012, 10:08:47 am
When I was young I thought that I would never want children. But 20 years later and two kids, I couldn't be happier. I love my kids more than anything.
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: mahgurl on December 31, 2012, 06:08:13 am
God gave me some wonderful children to raise.  I have four children and one grand daughter.  They are apart of me and they are alike me in so many ways.  And oh the love.  It is not a love like an unfaithful spouse who can leave you in a split second when another piece of meat suits his or her fancy.  This love from children is binding and it makes you a family.  These individuals (children) are apart of you.  They have some of your and the other person genes.  I do not have to second guess the love my children have for me.  It is soooo sweet.  Some people do not need children and children do not deserve to be hurt.  Children are special and very sweet.  All they need is LOVE, Food, Shelter, Clothes, Some one who has time for them and did I forget to say >>>>>LOVE.... Love that does not hurt. 

Thank you Father God for the children you blessed me with.
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: queenofnines on January 02, 2013, 10:17:26 am
Babysitting is one of the best forms of birth control...as is going anywhere where there's a screaming, bratty kid in the vicinity. I don't need a "mini me" to feel fulfilled and give my life "purpose". Children are for those who are A-Ok with automatically doing what society expects of them, regardless if having kids would make them truly happy or not.

I read articles and hear complaints all the time from parents who are fairly miserable on a day to day basis thanks to having kids. Reproducing is NOT a decision that should be taken lightly!

The cost-benefit analysis of having kids comes in at far more cons than pros in my book. I'll take the $20,000 PER YEAR that I'm saving by not having a kid and spend it on an African safari or a cruise to Antarctica. As opposed to, you know, staying home and playing Candyland or watching Finding Nemo for the 6347th time.
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: queenofnines on January 02, 2013, 10:23:05 am
My kids have paws.   :cat: :dog: :cat:

 Love it! :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: reiddb on January 02, 2013, 10:49:10 am
I always wanted to be a mom....that made my mom laugh at me~she said, you don't like to cook or clean and you want to be a mom...well, I'm the proud mother of 5 beautiful children ages 8-16 and I don't mind the cleaning and love to cook~you never know! 
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: queenofnines on January 03, 2013, 03:22:54 pm
Most of you who do not have children is really missing a lot

And by having children you are similarly missing a lot.

Quote
you will NEVER know the joy of becoming a grand parent or even the happiness a child can bring two people who are in love

"NEVER"...!!! Ohhh boy. Um, there are alternatives to having children in your life besides just having offspring of your own, FYI.
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: b1pearl on January 03, 2013, 10:56:26 pm
I am a mother of 4 children, which are all  grown with children of their own. It's amazing to look at your babies, and realize that they needed  all your help and assistance in nearly every thing that they did and now to watch them grow into a parent themselves.Being a mother wasn't always easy, but it was worth every moment.
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: BRH1969 on January 04, 2013, 10:55:54 am
I am almost 44 years old, have been with the same man since we were 14. We both decided when we were about 18 that we didn't want to have children. I have never had the feeling that my biological clock was ticking and I HAD to have children. We have 7 nephews and they fill our "being around children time" just fine. Plus as already posted, it's nice to be able to send them back to their parents when play time is over  ;)
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: homebusiness4u on January 04, 2013, 01:22:38 pm
I love my son and expecting a daughter now. I can not imagine how would I live without my babies. Love being "the best mommy ever", that's what my son says. I wouldn't wanna miss on any of my and my kids experiences together. You can not buy this feeling! It's so natural for me! :heart:
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: tbanks3 on January 04, 2013, 01:50:19 pm
Hello' I have a little girl and she is the love of my life so do not let know one till you having kids are not good to have they are so sweet we can do some much and have so much fun all the time me and my baby girl so yes I do. :angel11: :heart: :wave:
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: crazib on January 04, 2013, 02:09:54 pm
I have one son and would'nt change it for the world but would'nt do it agian :) :) :) :) :)
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: madeara on January 04, 2013, 02:21:25 pm
Hi,
I don't have any children.  I am an Aunt.  I have a three year old niece and a ten month old nephew.  I love them both so much!
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: queenofnines on January 05, 2013, 07:59:37 am
Also note that a lot of people who say kids are the "best thing ever" have to say that because it's too late to change their mind now!! "Misery loves company" as they say, so many of these people will shun non-parents because they're secretly regretful of the choice they made that sacrificed their time, money and freedom.
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: pgk1965 on January 05, 2013, 06:15:39 pm
i9 had 1 daughter and that was enough for me at the time but now i wish i would have had at least 1 more but its too late now
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: micky606 on January 06, 2013, 05:22:31 pm
We really wanted to have children but after five years of trying we decided to be foster parents. Ten years later we had adopted six kids and we couldn't have been happier. Kids are a blessing and I wish more people would relize when they don't want kids or need them... I have a lot of respect for people who make the decision that is best for themselves and in turn is better for children..
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: BeccaGoga on January 06, 2013, 09:20:54 pm
I do not plan on having kids until it is the right time for me. I have got other things that I want to do in life before I become a parent. In all honesty, I do not think I am responsible enough right now to have them.
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: swkstudent on January 07, 2013, 06:26:49 am
Honestly I don't think I'm equipped to be a mother...but who knows the future will hold. I definitely don't want to have kids later in life I'm already in my late 20's. Seems like some people just want to have kids just to say they have kids, they don't realize the huge responsibility. I'll just get some pets.
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: tammypete on January 07, 2013, 06:58:56 am
I have 3 kids and feel very blessed to have them!   My husband and I have talked that if we would have married at a younger age, (I was 26 and he was 28) we would have had more.
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: jannie7 on January 07, 2013, 08:56:35 am
WHEN I WAS YOUNG I BABY SIT QUITE A LOT FOR FRIENDS AND relatives kids, so I didn't mind
One child of my own but it didn't occur,  God didn't put it in the plan for me.   :wave:
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: yaayme on January 07, 2013, 09:20:04 am
I would like to get married and have children one day, but I don't see that happening anytime soon unfortunately.
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: Boise40 on January 07, 2013, 02:39:33 pm
I don't have any children because I know I couldn't afford to take care of them at the moment. I'm also single too and thats another reason as well lol
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: lrharting on January 08, 2013, 07:00:00 am
I feel like I'm 'missing out' because it's something I never really wanted in the first place.  If it had been, I would have re-arranged my life to make it happen.  I wish people knew that about themselves before just deciding to reproduce just because society says you have to.  It's like people go to school, get good jobs, get married (well not really anymore) get a house, and whether they want to or not follow the next logical step and have kids.  There is too much pressure on women to have kids, I am not just a reproduction machine to further the human race.  I think that having a child is the most selfless thing you can do and I have a lot of respect for that, but it should be something you want to do not something you feel like you HAVE to do just because everyone else does or because your parents want grandkids.  That's not your obligation since you did not ask to be born you owe no favors.

Besides, I think I know what I'm 'missing out' on.  I had a friend who was going through a divorce and asked me if she could live with me until she got things sorted out.  This was no problem for me but I did ask her what she intended to do with her kids and she said they would be living with their dad.  Great.   So a few months goes by and HE decided that she should take them every other weekend (this was not court ordered they 'mutually' agreed)  which means that they will be at my house from Friday night until Sunday evening.  This is something I hoped we would avoid but I wasn't suprised.  Also I wanted to help my friend out so I let them stay.  Eventually it turned into Mondays, Wednesdays and every other weekend.  Ugh!!!  This was not what I signed up for.  For the most part they were good kids but I felt myself being exhausted by their constand demands.  Mom watch this!!! Mom help me with this!!! Mom where is my...!!! Mom I need to go to the bathroom!!! This only from the one that could talk!  Not to mention she had a 1 year old who constantly cried when she wasn't being fed something and then when you gave her something she crumbled it into my carpet or wiped it on my sofa.  Even the noise was too much!!  I don't think I could take on the 24hr job of being a mom and the constand whining, crying and neediness.
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: lovekat on January 08, 2013, 09:45:47 am
I do not have children at this time, but my husband and I are in the process of trying.  But when we have teachers sleeping with the students is hard enough, so to let the teacher's have weapons in the classroom is not the way.

Life is Da? if you do and Da? if you don't is today's society.
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: JediJohnnie on January 08, 2013, 10:01:31 pm
I'd love to have children,but I have to take care of the little matter of finding a wife first! ;D
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: de3ik on February 02, 2013, 04:23:53 pm
When I was younger I wanted to have children, but now I have decided that it would make more sense for me to wait until I'm in better health and better off financially. Children are great, but it's just not the right time right now for me. I haven't completely given up on children, but I don't want to have them when the time isn't right and bring them into a situation that wouldn't be right for them.
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: TimCookAppleCEO on February 02, 2013, 08:14:31 pm
I would like to have children, but I am soooo bad with the ladies that I will probably adopt. 
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: davidf938 on February 03, 2013, 12:07:47 pm
Don't have any. Don't want any.
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: acecadet24 on February 09, 2013, 12:35:07 pm
I am undecided about it. I think children are a blessing but.... I don't know. I would like to go further in my career and get married to someone with like goals. I am open to the having children idea but it is not on my got to do list.
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: levettepough on February 09, 2013, 02:57:45 pm
No children for me. I do not want to make my life more difficult.
Your life would not be difficult. Because God put women on the earth to be fruitful we are suppose to have children.
and life with children will not be difficult because he will make sure that the needs are met and that the children can be taken
care of.
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: articx on February 10, 2013, 08:37:39 am
No children for me. I do not want to make my life more difficult.
Your life would not be difficult. Because God put women on the earth to be fruitful we are suppose to have children.
and life with children will not be difficult because he will make sure that the needs are met and that the children can be taken
care of.
Having a kid means a person obtains more responsibilities and loses the freedom they had before.
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: mardukblood2009 on February 10, 2013, 01:52:30 pm
I don't want any children. I already don't have enough time to do all the things that I want to do. I hate people who have children just for the sake of having children. I believe that is the real underlined problem with the world. :angry7:
Title: Re: Children or No Children
Post by: gwendolynconrad on February 10, 2013, 03:04:43 pm
I Have 2 children, I always wanted to have kids god bless me with 2. :heart: