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Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: Bode1104 on May 23, 2009, 01:24:27 pm
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im getting married soon, an kinda getting super cold feet is this normal?? anyone have any suggestions or tips??
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The last stretch can be so overwhelming, but cold feet is normal. Just try to find time to yourself and reflect on the relationship (not thinking about the upcoming event). Think about the best times together, as well as the worst, because if the best outweighs the worst, and the worst did not end the relationship - you will be fine.
And, not to add to the cold feet situation, talk to your family and friends if you are getting worried. Ask them their true opinion on if it is the right time, the right person, etc. and do not let them lie to you. I am my husband's second wife (my first marriage), because his family and friends told him after the divorce that they never thought his first wife was right for him. But now, his whole family loves me and is proud of him, and my family accepted him a long time ago.
But dont take a strangers opinion too much to heart, and if you are getting very cold feet, then maybe talk to your fiancee (without freaking them out) and see how worried they are and why they are sure it is the right choice. Marriage is about communication, and the better you communicate almost everything with your spouse, the easier marriage will seem.
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i guess it just everything is so overwhelming...i didnt know you had to put sooo much work into planning a wedding! i love him with all my heart an i know its the right time and he is the right one....cant believe its actually happening.....dreamed an fantiszed about it so much now that its really about to happen its got my nerves goin..
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Nicely said. :)
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i guess it just everything is so overwhelming...i didnt know you had to put sooo much work into planning a wedding! i love him with all my heart an i know its the right time and he is the right one....cant believe its actually happening.....dreamed an fantiszed about it so much now that its really about to happen its got my nerves goin..
Congratulation to you!! :angel11:
Me too is getting marry soon except it's gonna be a simple wedding and nothing really much to plan or friends/family around to talk, things aren't going as I thought would be, so I am getting cold feet as well. However, I am sure we will be able to get over the cold feet and move on to what we have been wanting for for a long time!!
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Cold feet over being the center of attention or cold feet over whether this is the right person or not? Because one is important in determining carrying this out while the other is simply something you fight through.
Either way you'll be fine if this is something you want to do. It will be over before you know it, so take it all in. Sister just got married this weekend and my now brother in law was extremely nervous before, but it worked out great in the end.
On another note, be glad you have to right :)
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Cold feet are normal the reason you is having cold feet is because you id nerve at getting married and, being with that person for a lifetime but, if you are ready then go for it but, cold feet is mainly normal in marriages. :wave:
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im getting married soon, an kinda getting super cold feet is this normal?? anyone have any suggestions or tips??
its ok we all do
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Pretty standard reaction to what you're dealing with. I wish I had listened a little closer to my inner voice and carefully re-evalute my intuition because I got married Dec 08 and 2mos ago, he filed divorce. While it's normal to get cold feet, don't completly dismiss it all. Just have a little talk with yourself and try to decide if what you're feeling is just a bit irrational & overwhelming because of the plans and pressure or are you truly feeling as if you don't want to face life after the grueling ceremony and all the bruhaha. If you can, in good conscience, reassure yourself that you're not afraid of life after the "I Do"s are said, then you're going to be just fine! :)
Good Luck & Congratulations. :)
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congratulations. I personally think you would be crazy if you were not a little scared i was so scared at my wedding and that has been 24 years ago. I have had a great marriage. you will to
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Get over it, and get it over with.
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It sounds like you really love him, so I would say stick it out. I got married almost 2 years ago and went through a period of wondering if I was doing the right thing. We're very happy together and I'm glad I ignored the little voice in my head.
By the day of the wedding, I was so over worrying about everything that I pretty much went into zen mode. Nothing bothered me, and I just enjoyed the prep (getting hair and makeup done, chatting with my bridesmaids). As I was getting ready to walk down the aisle with my dad, I did have a brief moment of heart pounding anxiety and thought I was going to pass out, but I took a deep breath and took that first step. Seeing my husband looking just as nervous made me relax instantly. He lit up when he saw me and after that it was a breeze.
I wish you the best of luck and congratulations!
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Congratulations!! Once the wedding is over, everything goes back to normal. It's a lot of stress for something that literally lasts just several hours. And remember-If little things go wrong at the wedding (like it rains or you get someone else's cake or something like that), those will be the things you remember and laugh about later in life.
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Totally normal.
The only peice of advice I can offer you is to ignore about 95% of EVERY PIECE OF ADVICE YOU GET. Seriously. Your friends, mom, grandmother, aunt...all of them. What will work for you is going to be different for you than for everyone else.
Well, one more piece of advice...don't ignore this one...LOL Make him feel needed. Let him know that you love him and need him in your life. Always.
Best of luck to you. :)
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Cold feet are normal the reason you is having cold feet is because you id nerve at getting married and, being with that person for a lifetime but, if you are ready then go for it but, cold feet is mainly normal in marriages. :wave:
I agree... :thumbsup: :wave:
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Nicely said. :)
:dog: all the trouble will be worth it in the end. work hard at a good marriage and you will have one.
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aw, of course its normal, but on top of all that, congratulations!!!
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first of all i would like to say congrats...i got married in january of 08 and i had cold feet too, but all that disappeared as soon as i saw my soon to be husband standing there waiting for me...once u look into the eyes of your significant other, all the cold feet and jitters will disappear. :)
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im getting married soon, an kinda getting super cold feet is this normal?? anyone have any suggestions or tips??
AW Congratulations!! And yes it is normal. Hang out with your girlfriends, thats what calmed me down the most.
And it is true as one post says"Once the wedding is over, everything goes back to normal." It does. Promise.
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yes its normal...just think if something happened to her how would u feel, could u live without her???
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Maybe, marriage is a thing of the past for some. Some people do not marry at all. Many of these people have successful careers, are single parents and do everything by themselves. Conclusion: "If you do not find the right mate, your soulmate...do not marry...it is that simple!...Better be single and happy than married and miserable".
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Completely normal. The closer it gets the more the nerves show up. Just sit down and think about why you are getting married to this person. What your life would be like without them. Thats when I realized I was making the right decision, when I didn't like what my life looked like with out them. :P
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I was more nervous the day of rehersal that I was the actual wedding day. My husband's family was driving me crazy the day of the wedding and I think that kept my mind off of things. Once you get married everything will fall into place, and remember you marriage is what you two make of it. Congratulations and good luck with life.
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I think that happens to most people. It's just a stressful time and it's hard to get through all of the madness. It will pass and when your wedding day comes, you will feel very happy that you stuck it out! ;)
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don't do it... run..run.. run....
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It is totally normal! My only sugestion is to take a few moments alone in the shower or go for a drive or anything where you are along and think about all the reasons why you wanted to marry this person in the first place. Think of all the good times you have had together and all the good times you will be having together. It is totally normal. I have been married for almost a year now. I remember when it was getting close I was getting not cold feet but worried and I went to the river and just sat there and thought about my relationship with my husband and I got over it. Good luck. You will be just fine!
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its normal
many brides and grooms go thro it
its scary
but just think that the one u love will be with u
thro thick and thin
and they will be by ur side
who knows wat the future may hold but
know this that
time will tell all
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Very normal, as they say. Don't have any personal experience though. Congratulations and good luck. :) :wave:
Hey just realized, ;D
Did you get married already?? My post is kinda late, so was wondering. Still u will need good wishes for the times to come, right?
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I dont wanna get maried :thumbsup:
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Trust your gut feeling!!!!
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Just relax...its normal if you are happy and have cold feet lol....good luck!
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:BangHead:
OMGeez...Marriage is like one of those death tone moment for me. I think it just complicates things between two happy people.
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Oh yea and I think it's normal to have cold feet. It's like the first time you walk up to the assument park ride and you have that self-doubt moment. However, you go through with it just fine and it's a thrilling moment.
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Its so normal for us to get cold feet, but just remember He's going to warm them up ;). They are only cold once.
You have a life time in front of you. one thing you need to remember, to help you marriage, never go to bed mad, nor work. try to talk it out. communication is the word. I hope he agrees. always talk things out. even if it means you both start crying. no one is to old to cry, if they love each other. God Bless The Both of You and Many Blessings
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Just relax and think the nicest future you'll have with the one you love. Everything will be fine!
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I tell you something and this is important and true if you don't have your marriage founded on God and his word it is going to fall apart. Either that or your just going to be together. You need to do some contemplating on God's holy word and what he says on marriage before you get married! If you haven't yet you need to surrender yourself to Jesus Christ or else your marriage and everything is going to fall apart and go to hell! When things are not "working out" your going to be hit with severe depression and feel like pushing away and if your not in it for the sake of staying true forever to God and the other person your not going to have a motivation to stay true! If you found your marriage upon what the scripture says it can not fall apart because it will be built upon the rock and when times go tough you will know that you are staying true to God and his word and that true Love as 1 Corinthians 13 (KJV WORD FOR LOVE OF THIS KIND IS CHARITY) says seeketh not her own and is patient and kind and longsuffering (meaning you suffer long) is not proud and does not boast of itself does not act unseemly (or innapropriately) is not rude and love is the most important thing it never fails. Problem is man does not have true love in their fallen nature they all fall short because they have not God and God is love. We are sepereated from God in our sins ans transgressions and can not do the things that please him in our nature. He has made us far above the animals and going off of animalistic emotional instinct based relationships will not cut it. Because as Jesus said in Matthew 5 if you even look at another with lust you are committing adultry! You need the salvation of God be understanding your sinful way against God and how you have greaved him with your life and you need his love HE LOVES US AS IF WE WERE HIS BRIDE AND HE DIED UPON CALVARY"S CROSS FOR OUR SINS AND WAS FAITHFUL ON THIS EARTH UNTIL THE VERY END AND WHEN HE ROSE AGAIN HE PROVED THAT LOVE WILL NEVER DIE! HERE ARE A FEW WEBSITES ON WHAT A TRUE BIBLICAL MARRIAGE ENTITLES AND HOW YOUR RELATIONSHIP CAN LAST TILL DEATH DO YOU APART! Truth from the Bible about Marriage
http://www.jesusfolk.com/Bible/Topics/marriage.html
Truth from the Bible about Marriage
(What God has to say in some scriptures about marriage.)
(Genesis 2:18 KJV)
(18) And the Lord God said, {It is} not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
(Genesis 2:24 KJV)
(24) Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
(Proverbs 18:22 KJV)
(22) {Whoso} findeth a wife findeth a good {thing}, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.
(THIS IS GOD SPEAKING TO MANY MEN NOT ONE MAN GOD HATES POLYGAMY)
(Jeremiah 29:6 KJV)
(6) Take ye wives, and beget sons and daughters; and take wives for your sons, and give your daughters to husbands, that they may bear sons and daughters; that ye may be increased there, and not diminished.
(Hosea 2:19-20 KJV)
(19) And I will betroth thee unto me for ever; yea, I will betroth thee unto me in righteousness, and in judgment, and in lovingkindness, and in mercies. (20) I will even betroth thee unto me in faithfulness: and thou shalt know the Lord.
(1 Corinthians 7:2-4 KJV)
(2) Nevertheless, {to avoid} fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. (3) Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. (4) The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
(1 Timothy 5:14 KJV)
(14) I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
(Hebrews 13:4 KJV)
(4) Marriage {is} honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
(Ephesians 5:22-33 KJV)
(22) Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. (23) For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. (24) Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so {let} the wives {be} to their own husbands in every thing. (25) Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; (26) That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, (27) That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. (28) So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. (29) For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: (30) For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. (31) For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. (32) This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. (33) Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife {see} that she reverence {her} husband.
(1 Peter 3:1 KJV)
(1) Likewise, ye wives, {be} in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
(I Peter 3:1-11)
(1) In the same way, wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; so that, even if any don’t obey the Word, they may be won by the behavior of their wives without a word;
(2) seeing your pure behavior in fear.
(3) Let your beauty be not just the outward adorning of braiding the hair, and of wearing jewels of gold, or of putting on fine clothing;
(4) but in the hidden person of the heart, in the incorruptible adornment of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God very precious.
(5) For this is how the holy women before, who hoped in God also adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands:
(6) as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose children you now are, if you do well, and are not put in fear by any terror.
(7) You husbands, in the same way, live with your wives according to knowledge, giving honor to the woman, as to the weaker vessel, as being also joint heirs of the grace of life; that your prayers may not be hindered.
(8) Finally, be all like-minded, compassionate, loving as brothers, tenderhearted, courteous,
(9) not rendering evil for evil, or insult for insult; but instead blessing; knowing that to this were you called, that you may inherit a blessing.
(10) For, “He who would love life, and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil, and his lips from speaking deceit.
(11) Let him turn away from evil, and do good. Let him seek peace, and pursue it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=198H70tDF8g
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is this your first marriage? if it is, everybody has to take the chance to go through it or else your going to keep running away from your fears and emotions. talk to your fiance about it, she or he probably feels the same way but come at them right.