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Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: sak4kat on February 02, 2014, 07:12:27 am
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My kids are getting older and the subject of becoming independent adults has come up frequently in our household. I'm a believer that when you are 18 and out of high school it's time to make some grown up decisions and take on grown up responsibilities. I have no problem with my kids living at home while going to college or pursuing career's... as long as they start paying for a % of the cost of living. What are your views on this? I was married and out of the house on my own at 19... directly after highschool my Mom expected me to pay for my own stuff. ie: make up, gas, car insurance
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Thanks for the post. I just turned 23, graduated college last May, and got my first big boy job in July. I've been living at home, but have picked up a lot of expenses that my parents used to pay for now that I have a full time job. It helps me a lot though because it allows me to save some money before I get my own place. With college loans, car payments, insurance payments, etc., it's nice to not have to pay rent for a while. And although it's not the sexiest thing to do, having my parents letting me stay at home has been a real blessing so far.
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Being a single parent when my boys were growing up they knew when they were ages 6 and 9 that mama didn't get child support so mama had to do it on her own. So I worked a full time job and they had paper routes, so they would give me their money they made so we could make ends meet. when they got older they would give me a portion of what they made from working a job. They quit school when they were Juniors in high school so they could help me. When they were grown I worked two jobs so they could have a life. By the way they lived with me as long wanted because they earned it. by the way one of my boys got his GED and the other is trying. My oldest has worked since he was 15 years old and my other son has done every kind of job that would earn him money. I am very proud of both my boys and I am sure you can see why.
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My kids are getting older and the subject of becoming independent adults has come up frequently in our household. I'm a believer that when you are 18 and out of high school it's time to make some grown up decisions and take on grown up responsibilities. I have no problem with my kids living at home while going to college or pursuing career's... as long as they start paying for a % of the cost of living. What are your views on this? I was married and out of the house on my own at 19... directly after highschool my Mom expected me to pay for my own stuff. ie: make up, gas, car insurance
I paid for soe of my own stuff before I was 18. When I started working, I started buying my own stuff. My folks did buy me a car and pay for the insurance. I did pay for the gas! But I wanted to get a job and my license to drive at 16. Nowadays, kids don't even want to do that! What happened to that freedom of independence! Seems like entitlement, as a friend calls it, has driven out any desires for teenagers to do for themselves! SAADD!
BMaston12
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If they stay they have to lend a hand- pay bills, run errands. Otherwise hit the road.
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I totally agree help or go
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I totally agree that your kids should start assuming responsibility for some of the household costs like rent, internet, phone, TV, electricity, etc. Maybe it would help if they had a certain set fee they were responsible for every month that they have to aim for. This would encourage them to get a job. Of course, if they are going to school, that would be a different story entirely because they would not have a source of income in that case, unless you insist they get a part time job while going to school, which would be OK too.
:monkey:
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Let Them Stay At Home. Its Rough Out There In The World. Just Kidding. Independence Is Good At That Age.
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I was very blessed to have loving parents. When I turned
18, they allowed me to stay at home, but I had to get a job.
I had to give them some money at the time, and I was not all that happy about
it. I must admit, looking back, they were teaching me responsibility,
and how to take care of myself. Also a great work ethic!
Kids today are handed everything and have an expectant attitude for
the rest of their lives! I'm so glad my parents did the right thing.
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my daughter is 23 and still at home,,,smh ::)
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Your kids are your kid's no matter how old and as long as they are trying to do well I think you should give them a place to live. Extra's like cars and stuff should be their own responsibility.
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It is a dangerous world out there. Give them all the support you can. Pay or no pay. Let them save some of their own money...so they can have a better start when they move out.
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Well I am 37 and I never left so what does that tell ya. I don't know if that is good or not. :-\
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I started baby sitting when i was 12 and had also been looking after my brother and sister when i was 10. Mom was a single mother until she married my stepdad when i was 11. But until i turned 18 i did most of the housework, cooking and helping mom with the laundry, while my little sister sit on her bu** and studied, also had to drive them back and forth to all of the ir outside actitives plus mine of course. Never had a true childhood. Got married young and had 2 of the most wonderful boys.Both were so dang independent that i could not have kept them at home.
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I stayed home during college after I graduated and got a job I paid rent. I don't have kids but if I did they can stay but they must be in school or have a job and help contribute.
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When my girls graduated high school they both went to college that fall. During the summer they did whatever they wanted and paid us nothing. My husband and I decided this was probably their last 'free' summer. Neither lived at home while in school, and both held part time jobs. During the summer, when they came home, they had sumner jobs and paid us nothing. We would rather have them put some money towards school rather then give it to us. When they graduated they came home to look for a full time job. Both stayed with us, after they started working full time, for about 1 year to save money. They paid us nothing, but paid for everything they wanted on their own. After the year, they got an apartment, met their future husbands, got married and both live close to us! :heart:
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when I turned 16, I was told to get a job...2 days after my 16th birthday I started working and started paying rent with my first paycheck. my son was also made to get a job when he turned 16..however he doesnt pay rent. he only works a couple of days a week, 4 hours a day. i think it helps him get work experience and teaches him the value of a dollar. we do charge him $50 a month for his insurance, but it actually costs us $1200 a year. obviously he cant pay that much, doesnt make it lol. but what we do charge teaches him bills come first.
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It seems most of us learned early on that life isn't cheap. At what age do you think is appropriate to begin planting seeds of ... someday you'll have your own bills, needs and wants to pay for?
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My kids are getting older and the subject of becoming independent adults has come up frequently in our household. I'm a believer that when you are 18 and out of high school it's time to make some grown up decisions and take on grown up responsibilities. I have no problem with my kids living at home while going to college or pursuing career's... as long as they start paying for a % of the cost of living. What are your views on this? I was married and out of the house on my own at 19... directly after highschool my Mom expected me to pay for my own stuff. ie: make up, gas, car insurance
Children have to learn responsibility very early in life. For example they should learn to clean up their room, pick up their toys, and as they get older help with chores around the house, like sweeping and mopping the floors and washing dishes. As they are learning responsibility, then they can begin to learn independence. If they can demonstrate responsibility then hopefully they will carry that on into their adult lives. There are no guarantees but every little bit helps. As I got older, I set aside funds to help with "rent" under the roof of my parents. I turned out just fine and my parents were 2 of my best friends. I totally agree with you in that if your kids want to stay home while attending college, it should not be free and clear. They should be expected to experience life in an adult world.