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Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: BK_Adores_Chase on September 27, 2014, 03:43:47 am
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now I'm not so sure. I'm wondering if it was all a charade - I know he wanted to marry me really badly and he was always afraid of losing me. Not that he did it intentionally, I think he may have even fooled himself. It's a long story, a LOT of background details, but now he doesn't even open his bible and he says he gets irritated because all I ever want to talk about is God. He also loves the things of this world and thinks I'm being dramatic when I change certain things because I have been convicted / decided that those things are sin in God's eyes. For example, there's this show I used to watch, Tosh.0, and in the show the guy makes light of homosexuality, abortions, Jesus, etc. (it's a comedy show) and I don't think God would appreciate me watching and laughing at those shows.
I just feel like I should stop talking about God to him so he doesn't get upset, even though he told me to keep talking about God because he probably needs to hear it. But I don't know if that's a good idea (to stop talking about it) because I don't want it to negatively affect our marriage. BUT maybe if I had another person I could call and talk to about the Lord, that would help.
Anyway, is there anyone out there married to an unbeliever that has any tips for me? Am I wrongly evaluating the situation and maybe he IS saved but just not strong in his faith?
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I think religion is a personal thing and I don't think both partners need to have the same beliefs. I think you can both be open about what you believe but I don't think you need to change the other persons beliefs just because they are not yours.
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I have to agree, religion is a personal private thing. As a couple, sure it's great if you have the same beliefs, but that doesn't always happen. My husband is Catholic and a semi practicing. I am Lutheran and also semi practicing. We got married outdoors at a beautiful location and by a justice of piece. This way no side of family had hurt feelings. We would go to his church and then another week to mine, always as a family. We raised our daughters in both faiths and as they got older they choose which to follow or not to follow any (as adults they can make their own choices), it worked for us and i hope it works for you. You can't make someone, no matter who, believe in what you want them to believe in.
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My first husband wasn't raised in any religion. I was brought up in a Catholic home. A Catholic Church. My mother is Catholic and my father's background was Southern Baptist. He made the jump into Catholicism. While going through a divorce I started visiting a Lutheran church through some of my ex's extended family members. Although I wasn't at peace there. Years later I found another Lutheran Church and I've learned there are different branches of the Lutheran religion. When I go into Church to worship I have the most peaceful feeling. I'm connected with the beliefs and people there. The relationship one has with God is there business. It doesn't mean as couples the relationship with God together is going to be the same.
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Is you husband really a non-believer or someone who is not as passionate about his faith as you are? To me that is a big difference. If he doesn't believe what you do then there are times that you won't agree with each others decisions. if he is just not as passionate then I would think you should be able to come to an understanding on most things. Good Luck!!
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Maybe 1 Corinthians 7:13 will help you - personal opinion as well I would just continue to be myself and talk to him the same way and about the same things as you did - You have to be true to yourself and you were a christian when you guys married so if you feel convicted against something you have to follow how God leads you. Best of luck.
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I know that people have different beliefs but if you stop talking about God than your spouse by not practicing the faith would not get the oppertunity to realize they need God in there life. If he is doing nothing with religion than you are obligated to keep it in your life and maybe after a while your spouse would come around or at least see how serious and how important it is to you and if he truely loves you he will accept that you have not changed your way of beliefs since you got married, I would not do it all day long but hints here and there won't hurt.
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Everyone has there own beliefs an religions there's a point in which you guys won't agree an it might aggravate the other person but maybe it's just a part of the marriage were different problems are affecting it an no matter what I just hope you guys work whatever it is out an god bless you guys
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1 Corinthians 7:13-16 should help.
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i believe is not easy when only one person in relationship believes and actually have faith.
Everything goes together,then you fight,a lot of things going on.I personally thing i need GOD in my life.I am happy me and my husband have the same faith.
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You can't force anyone else to believe the same thing you do. He has to make his own decision in what he believes.
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Maybe try talking to him and listening to what he has to say. Can your marriage survive if he isn't religious?
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Just a little advice and I hope you read this. Sometimes we can win someone over with out a word. The scriptures state that. This is what I believe it to mean that by your faith and actions he will see how much you believe and after a while he will notice that your faith means the world to you and you never know he might come around rather than you preaching to him all the time. Let him see you as a christian woman and he will come around and he will appreciate you so much more. Now I am not saying not to talk about God just not so much other wise he might feel you are pushing him.
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People frequently are at different stages or levels in their Christian walk, even married couples. He may feel pressured or judged when you talk to him about God if you are doing it a lot. I would back off the talk but not the walk and pray for him in private. If he is sincere in his profession of faith, he will come around eventually and in the meantime let God work in his heart. You cannot force growth in someone else.
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Only you know if he is born again, does he walk the walk and talk the talk? If not then he just pulled your leg. A true believer always want to here about the Lord and talk about what the Lord have done, have done and will do. I know my husband is a born again christian and he always talks about the bible and reads his bible daily so the Lord can guide and protect him. So I say to you he is not... if so than he would not mind ypu talking about God to him.
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Maybe you can LIVE your Christian life to show him what a joy it is to be a Christian instead of talking about it all the time. Some people feel as if they are being beaten about the head if you talk about any subject all the time. Have you gotten couple's counseling?
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Well I'm not saying I want to MAKE him believe, I guess it's just hard for me not to talk about God because I love Him more than anything or anyone in the world.
I've already spent the last couple of days making sure I only ask my husband about himself and his day and not talk about myself at all. If I want to talk about something I just talk to God about it - and by God's grace and mercy I'm not upset or mad or sad about this.
I feel like I don't want to continue talking about God if I know it annoys him - if my husband is in a round about way expressing it will bring him joy if I stop talking about God, I'm going to jump on that opportunity - I want my husband to be happy.
I'm not saying I am going to divorce him, I'm just a little shocked - I know some of you said it doesn't matter if we have different beliefs, but I think it matters A LOT - I wanted to marry a believer. 2 Corinthians 6:14 says, "Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?"
Unbelievers and believers act SO different. I am doing my best, by the grace of God, to be a child of His and become the Christian wife I'm called to be while on the other hand my unbelieving husband is just going on the way he does. I don't want to say I'm getting the short end of the stick because I know God brings all things together for the greater good.
And yes, maybe he just isn't as zealous for the Lord as I am - I am only as zealous as I am because God has made me this way, and I praise and thank Him for it because I love being zealous for the Lord. What a good God we have.
I also think this is something that has brought me closer to the Lord - I cling to Him more now that I feel like He's the only close friend that I have and I also realize the urgency of myself acting like the best Christian that I can 24/7 - I was best behaved in public and a tiny bit slack at home, mostly when it came to gossip - but now I'm realizing that I need to be the best that God will help me be 24/7 so if my husband isn't saved God can hopefully draw him to Himself through me.
It's not even that I preach to him about God - all I ever want to do is talk about God - what I think He's doing in the world, talk about the Word of God, talk about what God has done or is doing in my life, etc, etc.
I think my BIGGEST concern is that he lets his Bible collect dust - how is he supposed to grow from a once-a-week church service?
(I'm kind of going down the line of comments and responding as I read - thank you all, these have all been very helpful) I feel the same way, a true believer wants to hear and talk about the Lord and study His Word. I know my husband has questioned his salvation in the past and someone at church comforted him and said not to worry - I appreciate them trying to comfort him, but I think it was a false comfort that wasn't rightfully my husbands because I think it was rightfully so that he questioned his salvation - I question his salvation daily.
I know that with the Holy Spirit comes spiritual gifts, and I just recently learned that every believer gets a package deal (so to speak) and no two believers get the same blend of different level gifts (does that make sense?) I think one thing God gave me is discernment and I am always always always able to spot a true Christian, I'm really good at it - someone will tell me they are a Christian and I can tell by the way they treat me if they are a born again Christian. I'm very rarely wrong, I always find out they're a Catholic or whatever. That's why I think I'm right about my husband.
I don't think couple's counseling is necessary - this is a heart problem that only the Lord Himself can fix - just as we had no part in our physical birth, we have no part in our spiritual birth - it is up to the Lord, if my husbands name is written in the Lamb's book of Life, then he will be saved in God's perfect timing.
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I do have to agree with your last comment. I know as a true believer your hope was to fall in love and marry someone with the same beliefs. Don't give up on him, he may just be questioning his beliefs now. Perhaps with time, guidance, and very gentle pushing, he might (hopefully), find himself and become the God loving man you want him to be. If that doesn't happen, love him for who he is and what he believes and know God is watching over, loving, and protecting him. I honestly wish you the best of luck. Please keep us posted.
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You can't force anyone to believe. It will come in time. Don't lose your beliefs. This should not effect your marriage unless you guys let it. Focus on what has been keeping you going.
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I had a guy pretend to get saved to get me to keep dating him. He admitted it to me. I don't agree with "religion is a personal private thing".
There are a lot of people who are Christians who do not read their Bible every day.
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Yeah, I am not letting it affect my marriage - if anything I'm being a better wife because of this.
The most comforting thing about all of this is I don't have to wonder or question whether or not I made a mistake marrying him because God is sovereign in all things and God will use this marriage to honor and glorify Himself, which is ultimately what matters. I find rest in that fact.
I'm not going to push God on him - hey, at least he goes to church with me every Sunday. I'm just going to continue to show him the love of Christ and yes, prayer, prayer, and more prayer.
And like I said - true believers long for the Word of God. It's like this: If you went away and your wife/husband sent you 66 love letters and you didn't open or read any of them, that would say a lot about how you really feel about her/him. The Bible is made up of 66 "love letters" and God expects us to read and study them - how else are we supposed to truly get to know Him?!! It's impossible, really, it is.
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BK, I have been on FC for a number of years and have followed your posts for some time nowI. It seems to me that, from the beginning, you have had doubts about your fiancee/husband (meaning since before you were married, also). I remember reading several of your posts when you seemed to indicate that he belittled you frequently. (Is this the same man?) Please believe me when I say I'm not trying to put you down; I'm just wondering if this is the best you can do for yourself. And I do believe marriage counseling can be helpful. It helped my husband and me. And do keep praying. God bless you.
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Let God be the judge. Only He knows ours hearts.
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People practice their faith differently.
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I know how you feel... And if you are unequally yoked it won't work... Unfortunately he is immature, most men are... If you are stronger and wiser in your faith that will be a problem... God hates divorce but doesn't want you unhappy either... Is he really worth it? Is he abusive? Are there children involved?
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now I'm not so sure. I'm wondering if it was all a charade - I know he wanted to marry me really badly and he was always afraid of losing me. Not that he did it intentionally, I think he may have even fooled himself. It's a long story, a LOT of background details, but now he doesn't even open his bible and he says he gets irritated because all I ever want to talk about is God. He also loves the things of this world and thinks I'm being dramatic when I change certain things because I have been convicted / decided that those things are sin in God's eyes. For example, there's this show I used to watch, Tosh.0, and in the show the guy makes light of homosexuality, abortions, Jesus, etc. (it's a comedy show) and I don't think God would appreciate me watching and laughing at those shows.
I just feel like I should stop talking about God to him so he doesn't get upset, even though he told me to keep talking about God because he probably needs to hear it. But I don't know if that's a good idea (to stop talking about it) because I don't want it to negatively affect our marriage. BUT maybe if I had another person I could call and talk to about the Lord, that would help.
Anyway, is there anyone out there married to an unbeliever that has any tips for me? Am I wrongly evaluating the situation and maybe he IS saved but just not strong in his faith?
Yeah,that's a pet peeve of mine.I don't like shows that mock or demean Christ in any way.It's like having someone you love being ridiculed,so I don't blame you for being uncomfortable with some of the garbage out there on television.
As far as your question,I'm not married so I guess I'm not the best qualified,but I do have family that are (for lack of a better term) "lackadaisical" in their faith.I try to study the bible and pray with them,but they show little interest.All you can do is pray and hope God makes them a little more receptive in the future. :(
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EVERY SINGLE THING God commands us to do is for our good and His glory. We might not always be able to see it but God sees the big picture. We don't have to choose either A) Be unhappily obedient to God or B) Be happily disobedient - obedience and happiness go hand in hand (as does disobedience and unhappiness).
I would never ever sin against God by divorcing. Divorcing is doing something for me (being selfish) and putting God after myself (not obeying His commandments).
No way, no how. I'm not unhappy I just thought he was saved, that's all. It's in the Lord's hands now. The main point of this post was me trying to figure out where to turn when I feel like I want to talk about the Lord that I love, and I have already found the answer =) I'm going to the Lord Himself and praising Him personally.
No, loulizlee - it's actually a really amazing story, I'll sum it up by saying God saved me from my last relationship in an amazing way.
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Do you know that he isn't saved? Just because someone does not want to talk about God with every breath, watch Christian television and preachers all day and night, and only listen to Gospel music does not mean they are not saved. If you want to do that then that is fine. But you can't condemn others for not doing the same thing. I have an aunt that watches the tv preachers constantly. And all she wants to do is tell every one else what their sins are when by doing that she is sinning herself. The Bible says to get the beam out of your own eye before you worry about the spec in someone else's. I don't know how to say it without it sounding like I am being smart or hateful and I am not trying to be. I am a Christian but I do not try to shove God on everyone all the time. What you say verbally is nothing. IT is what you DO that counts. How you act. I know a person who screams about God to people all the time and how they need to be saved but their actions are far from anything that says they are a Christian. So people don't want to hear it. Again, I am a Christian, but a few weeks ago this guy came in to where I worked and went off in a rant about God and now I should have just walked off but I didn't lol. He was yelling at me and the manager about how the muslims, catholics, and mormons are all going to hell. Then he'd say your a muslim aren't you? You're a mormon aren't you? I just wanted to say "You're an idiot! All I could think was "keep it to yourself". smh. Does not mean I am not saved.
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BK, I'm glad to hear that you were rescued from an unhappy past relationship. And, countrygirl, I agree with you. I am a Christian, but I don't listen to TV preachers. I have found that most of them are either in it for the money or are narcissists. My youngest sister listens to a TV evangelist who was caught "in flagrante" several years. Since that time, I've learned he was guilty of much more than sexual misconduct. He has gone back to his old habits of trying to get people to send money. He is a charismatic speaker but he turns my stomach. I do like gospel music, as well as classical, jazz, some country, and other kinds of music, mainly easy listening. I am turned off by people who constantly try to show how "religious" they are but would stab you in the back.
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Re marriage....
Do not be discouraged if your marriage is not what you envisioned it would be during courtship. Says one team of experts: “Unending bliss is just not what marriage is like for most people. It’s wonderful at times and very hard at other times.”
Yes, marriage may not be a storybook romance, but neither does it have to be a tragedy. While there will be times when you and your spouse will just have to put up with each other, there will also be occasions when you can put your differences aside and just enjoy being together, having fun, and talking to each other as friends. (Ephesians 4:2; Colossians 3:13) These are the times when you may be able to rekindle the love that has faded.
Remember, two imperfect humans cannot have a perfect marriage. But they can find a measure of happiness. Indeed, even with difficulties, the relationship between you and your spouse can be a wellspring of immense satisfaction. One thing is certain: If both you and your mate put forth effort and are willing to be flexible and seek the advantage of the other person, there is good reason to believe that your marriage can be saved.—1 Corinthians 10:24.
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If I was married to someone who told me all the time that this was a sin and that was a sin and god this and god that, I'd probably go nuts! :o
I believe in god but I don't hit people over the head with my faith - it's off-putting in my opinion.
With that said...
You show your belief in how you live your life and who and what you allow into your life.
That's either going to attract some people or push people away from you. Somewhere down the line, your husband didn't get the full picture of who he was marrying or else he probably wouldn't have married you.
The same can go for you as well.
What you don't want to do is bring children into the picture until you guys get on the same page in terms of your faith because it seems like the simple things as tv programs are causing strife in your marriage.
You can either tone down your religiousness especially if you know what things bother your husband or you can leave the marriage.
Just my two cents.
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BK, I'm glad to hear that you were rescued from an unhappy past relationship. And, countrygirl, I agree with you. I am a Christian, but I don't listen to TV preachers. I have found that most of them are either in it for the money or are narcissists. My youngest sister listens to a TV evangelist who was caught "in flagrante" several years. Since that time, I've learned he was guilty of much more than sexual misconduct. He has gone back to his old habits of trying to get people to send money. He is a charismatic speaker but he turns my stomach. I do like gospel music, as well as classical, jazz, some country, and other kinds of music, mainly easy listening. I am turned off by people who constantly try to show how "religious" they are but would stab you in the back.
I do listen to Christian music more than any other. But I also listen to some old rock, country, classical, and sometimes jazz. And there are a lot of charasmatic speakers these days. lol.
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now I'm not so sure. I'm wondering if it was all a charade - I know he wanted to marry me really badly and he was always afraid of losing me. Not that he did it intentionally, I think he may have even fooled himself. It's a long story, a LOT of background details, but now he doesn't even open his bible and he says he gets irritated because all I ever want to talk about is God. He also loves the things of this world and thinks I'm being dramatic when I change certain things because I have been convicted / decided that those things are sin in God's eyes. For example, there's this show I used to watch, Tosh.0, and in the show the guy makes light of homosexuality, abortions, Jesus, etc. (it's a comedy show) and I don't think God would appreciate me watching and laughing at those shows.
I just feel like I should stop talking about God to him so he doesn't get upset, even though he told me to keep talking about God because he probably needs to hear it. But I don't know if that's a good idea (to stop talking about it) because I don't want it to negatively affect our marriage. BUT maybe if I had another person I could call and talk to about the Lord, that would help.
Anyway, is there anyone out there married to an unbeliever that has any tips for me? Am I wrongly evaluating the situation and maybe he IS saved but just not strong in his faith?
How long did you and your husband date? If this was a quickie marriage then you never learned all about your husband. I think most men never allow you to see the real person while dating. Possibly, if you had waited you would have found that his belief in God was a farce. It looks like you have a deep religious belief in the Lord- you all are definitely a mix package. Possibly talking about it more or seeing a therapist will help.
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Do you know that he isn't saved? Just because someone does not want to talk about God with every breath, watch Christian television and preachers all day and night, and only listen to Gospel music does not mean they are not saved. If you want to do that then that is fine. But you can't condemn others for not doing the same thing. I have an aunt that watches the tv preachers constantly. And all she wants to do is tell every one else what their sins are when by doing that she is sinning herself. The Bible says to get the beam out of your own eye before you worry about the spec in someone else's. I don't know how to say it without it sounding like I am being smart or hateful and I am not trying to be. I am a Christian but I do not try to shove God on everyone all the time. What you say verbally is nothing. IT is what you DO that counts. How you act. I know a person who screams about God to people all the time and how they need to be saved but their actions are far from anything that says they are a Christian. So people don't want to hear it. Again, I am a Christian, but a few weeks ago this guy came in to where I worked and went off in a rant about God and now I should have just walked off but I didn't lol. He was yelling at me and the manager about how the muslims, catholics, and mormons are all going to hell. Then he'd say your a muslim aren't you? You're a mormon aren't you? I just wanted to say "You're an idiot! All I could think was "keep it to yourself". smh. Does not mean I am not saved.
No, it's not even me preaching to my husband about Him sinning - I just like to talk about God. I don't know about you guys but from what I've studying the central theme of our lives should be God. It is all about Him. He should consume our minds and our thoughts and we should long to make Him the center of everything we do. Deuteronomy 11:18-20 "You shall therefore impress these words of mine on your heart and on your soul; and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall teach them to your sons, talking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up. And thou shalt write them upon the door posts of thine house, and upon thy gates.."
John 4:23 ..the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for such people the Father seeks to be His worshipers.
We are saved for God - He doesn't save us so we don't go to Hell, although that is a benefit for us. We are saved for the main purpose of worship. It's splattered all over the Bible. Worship is so incredibly important to God, I'm convinced it's the most important thing to Him.
I don't sit around watching preachers on TV all day - don't get me started on televangelists - I believe the majority of them are health and wealth / prosperity teachers. Word of Faith. Not good, not good at all. Joel Osteen's wife Victoria just made a comment a week or so ago on national television about how when we serve God we aren't really doing it for Him, we are doing it for ourselves. That's not what the Bible says. That sounds selfish and self centered in my opinion.
And we are supposed to judge other who claim to be believers, but not judge unbelievers. Matthew 18:15 "If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. (it continues by saying what to do if they don't listen). BUT we have to confront our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ in love. Ephesians 4:15 speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ..
1 Corinthians also has some examples, to list one: 1 Corinthians 13:3 ..if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.
If we do ANYTHING in an unloving way, it is completely done in vain.
We aren't supposed to shove the Gospel down people's throats but we are certainly supposed to spread the Good News about Christ and forgiveness:
Isaiah 52:7 How lovely on the mountains Are the feet of him who brings good news, Who announces peace And brings good news of happiness, Who announces salvation..
Ezekiel 3:18 When I say to the wicked, ‘You will surely die,’ and you do not warn him or speak out to warn the wicked from his wicked way that he may live, that wicked man shall die in his iniquity, but his blood I will require at your hand.
Matthew 28:19 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations..
Mark 16:15 .."Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.
Acts 1:8 but you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be My witnesses both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and even to the remotest part of the earth."
1 Corinthians 9:16 For if I preach the gospel, I have nothing to boast of, for I am under compulsion; for woe is me if I do not preach the gospel. For if I do this voluntarily, I have a reward; but if against my will, I have a stewardship entrusted to me.
How are people supposed to hear the Good News if we don't tell them? And how scary is Ezekiel 3:18 that says if we don't tell them and they die in their sin, their blood will be on our hands? BUT IT ALL HAS TO BE DONE IN LOVE, THE EVANGELIZING, THE CONFRONTATION OF FELLOW BELIEVERS, OR ELSE IT IS IN COMPLETE AND UTTER VAIN! Useless in God's eyes.
Yes, it is also important that you walk the walk, but not primarily so it will draw others to Christ - it's primarily because Christ shed His blood and we should feel compelled to obey His commands perfectly (although that is impossible, we can still try). I think God's commandments can't be kept on our human level, we need divine help through prayer.
But 9 out of 10 people who claim to be Christians aren't even saved, and like the guy you said came into your workplace and started screaming at you about God - those are the people who give true, genuine Christians a bad name. It's so unfortunate but it is what it is.
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Re marriage....
Do not be discouraged if your marriage is not what you envisioned it would be during courtship. Says one team of experts: “Unending bliss is just not what marriage is like for most people. It’s wonderful at times and very hard at other times.”
Yes, marriage may not be a storybook romance, but neither does it have to be a tragedy. While there will be times when you and your spouse will just have to put up with each other, there will also be occasions when you can put your differences aside and just enjoy being together, having fun, and talking to each other as friends. (Ephesians 4:2; Colossians 3:13) These are the times when you may be able to rekindle the love that has faded.
Remember, two imperfect humans cannot have a perfect marriage. But they can find a measure of happiness. Indeed, even with difficulties, the relationship between you and your spouse can be a wellspring of immense satisfaction. One thing is certain: If both you and your mate put forth effort and are willing to be flexible and seek the advantage of the other person, there is good reason to believe that your marriage can be saved.—1 Corinthians 10:24.
Lol you guys, my marriage is fine and I'm super super happy - all I'm saying is I wish my husband was saved. And I think I mentioned this before, I'm kind of happy this is happening because it has caused me to cling to God more and think of myself less, which is an answered prayer because I've been praying for God to help me get rid of my ugly selfishness that's always rearing it's ugly head. Oddly, this has improved our marriage because I've almost completely stopped talking about myself and instead only talk about my husband and it has done wonders for our marriage.
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I wish I knew what to tell you. Im in the situation where I don't go to church, but I DO believe...and I try to act in the way that God would want me to act. I just havent found a church that I feel comfortable in yet. My husband however goes to church every chance he gets, is always listening to gospel music, says he's such a great Christian...but his actions prove differently. He'll lie at the drop of a hat, does things that shouldnt be done by Christians with the attitude if he prays for forgiveness it's ok. So I'm the last one to give advice. I will pray for you that things work out for you.
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If I was married to someone who told me all the time that this was a sin and that was a sin and god this and god that, I'd probably go nuts! :o
I believe in god but I don't hit people over the head with my faith - it's off-putting in my opinion.
With that said...
You show your belief in how you live your life and who and what you allow into your life.
That's either going to attract some people or push people away from you. Somewhere down the line, your husband didn't get the full picture of who he was marrying or else he probably wouldn't have married you.
The same can go for you as well.
What you don't want to do is bring children into the picture until you guys get on the same page in terms of your faith because it seems like the simple things as tv programs are causing strife in your marriage.
You can either tone down your religiousness especially if you know what things bother your husband or you can leave the marriage.
Just my two cents.
I wasn't telling my husband he was a sinner, I was simply talking about God, that's all. I love Him a lot.
I am not all uptight about the TV situation. I just told my husband that I personally wasn't going to watch that and other particular shows anymore, but I didn't tell him he couldn't - he is held accountable for what he does. He knows I don't like it, I know he likes it - we happily agree to disagree.
But as a wife I am supposed to be a help meet. My role is to help him, care for him and our children, care for the home, and to help him be accountable, just as God gave our husbands the role of spiritual leader, protector, provider. Our husbands rely on our spiritual discernment just as we do theirs. We are responsible for obeying our husbands and giving them good council.
Why does everyone keep assuming their is strife in my marriage and I'm unhappy lol I'm just saying I thought he was saved, that's all. I'm not making a mountain over a mole hill here people.
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I wish I knew what to tell you. Im in the situation where I don't go to church, but I DO believe...and I try to act in the way that God would want me to act. I just havent found a church that I feel comfortable in yet. My husband however goes to church every chance he gets, is always listening to gospel music, says he's such a great Christian...but his actions prove differently. He'll lie at the drop of a hat, does things that shouldnt be done by Christians with the attitude if he prays for forgiveness it's ok. So I'm the last one to give advice. I will pray for you that things work out for you.
Someone once told me we should realize that since God is omniscient that every sin we commit is like we're doing it at the foot of His throne.
Romans 6:1-2 What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin so that grace may increase? May it never be! How shall we who died to sin still live in it?
Is he Catholic?
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Re marriage....
Do not be discouraged if your marriage is not what you envisioned it would be during courtship. Says one team of experts: “Unending bliss is just not what marriage is like for most people. It’s wonderful at times and very hard at other times.”
Yes, marriage may not be a storybook romance, but neither does it have to be a tragedy. While there will be times when you and your spouse will just have to put up with each other, there will also be occasions when you can put your differences aside and just enjoy being together, having fun, and talking to each other as friends. (Ephesians 4:2; Colossians 3:13) These are the times when you may be able to rekindle the love that has faded.
Remember, two imperfect humans cannot have a perfect marriage. But they can find a measure of happiness. Indeed, even with difficulties, the relationship between you and your spouse can be a wellspring of immense satisfaction. One thing is certain: If both you and your mate put forth effort and are willing to be flexible and seek the advantage of the other person, there is good reason to believe that your marriage can be saved.—1 Corinthians 10:24.
Lol you guys, my marriage is fine and I'm super super happy - all I'm saying is I wish my husband was saved. And I think I mentioned this before, I'm kind of happy this is happening because it has caused me to cling to God more and think of myself less, which is an answered prayer because I've been praying for God to help me get rid of my ugly selfishness that's always rearing it's ugly head. Oddly, this has improved our marriage because I've almost completely stopped talking about myself and instead only talk about my husband and it has done wonders for our marriage.
Do you know that he isn't saved? Just because someone does not want to talk about God with every breath, watch Christian television and preachers all day and night, and only listen to Gospel music does not mean they are not saved. If you want to do that then that is fine. But you can't condemn others for not doing the same thing. I have an aunt that watches the tv preachers constantly. And all she wants to do is tell every one else what their sins are when by doing that she is sinning herself. The Bible says to get the beam out of your own eye before you worry about the spec in someone else's. I don't know how to say it without it sounding like I am being smart or hateful and I am not trying to be. I am a Christian but I do not try to shove God on everyone all the time. What you say verbally is nothing. IT is what you DO that counts. How you act. I know a person who screams about God to people all the time and how they need to be saved but their actions are far from anything that says they are a Christian. So people don't want to hear it. Again, I am a Christian, but a few weeks ago this guy came in to where I worked and went off in a rant about God and now I should have just walked off but I didn't lol. He was yelling at me and the manager about how the muslims, catholics, and mormons are all going to hell. Then he'd say your a muslim aren't you? You're a mormon aren't you? I just wanted to say "You're an idiot! All I could think was "keep it to yourself". smh. Does not mean I am not saved.
No, it's not even me preaching to my husband about Him sinning - I just like to talk about God. I don't know about you guys but from what I've studying the central theme of our lives should be God. It is all about Him. He should consume our minds and our thoughts and we should long to make Him the center of everything we do. Deuteronomy 11:18-20 "You shall therefore impress these words of mine on your heart and on your soul; and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall teach them to your sons, talking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up. And thou shalt write them upon the door posts of thine house, and upon thy gates.."
John 4:23 ..the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for such people the Father seeks to be His worshipers.
We are saved for God - He doesn't save us so we don't go to Hell, although that is a benefit for us. We are saved for the main purpose of worship. It's splattered all over the Bible. Worship is so incredibly important to God, I'm convinced it's the most important thing to Him.
I don't sit around watching preachers on TV all day - don't get me started on televangelists - I believe the majority of them are health and wealth / prosperity teachers. Word of Faith. Not good, not good at all. Joel Osteen's wife Victoria just made a comment a week or so ago on national television about how when we serve God we aren't really doing it for Him, we are doing it for ourselves. That's not what the Bible says. That sounds selfish and self centered in my opinion.
And we are supposed to judge other who claim to be believers, but not judge unbelievers. Matthew 18:15 "If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. (it continues by saying what to do if they don't listen). BUT we have to confront our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ in love. Ephesians 4:15 speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ..
1 Corinthians also has some examples, to list one: 1 Corinthians 13:3 ..if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.
If we do ANYTHING in an unloving way, it is completely done in vain.
We aren't supposed to shove the Gospel down people's throats but we are certainly supposed to spread the Good News about Christ and forgiveness:
Isaiah 52:7 How lovely on the mountains Are the feet of him who brings good news, Who announces peace And brings good news of happiness, Who announces salvation..
Ezekiel 3:18 When I say to the wicked, ‘You will surely die,’ and you do not warn him or speak out to warn the wicked from his wicked way that he may live, that wicked man shall die in his iniquity, but his blood I will require at your hand.
Matthew 28:19 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations..
Mark 16:15 .."Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.
Acts 1:8 but you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be My witnesses both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and even to the remotest part of the earth."
1 Corinthians 9:16 For if I preach the gospel, I have nothing to boast of, for I am under compulsion; for woe is me if I do not preach the gospel. For if I do this voluntarily, I have a reward; but if against my will, I have a stewardship entrusted to me.
How are people supposed to hear the Good News if we don't tell them? And how scary is Ezekiel 3:18 that says if we don't tell them and they die in their sin, their blood will be on our hands? BUT IT ALL HAS TO BE DONE IN LOVE, THE EVANGELIZING, THE CONFRONTATION OF FELLOW BELIEVERS, OR ELSE IT IS IN COMPLETE AND UTTER VAIN! Useless in God's eyes.
Yes, it is also important that you walk the walk, but not primarily so it will draw others to Christ - it's primarily because Christ shed His blood and we should feel compelled to obey His commands perfectly (although that is impossible, we can still try). I think God's commandments can't be kept on our human level, we need divine help through prayer.
But 9 out of 10 people who claim to be Christians aren't even saved, and like the guy you said came into your workplace and started screaming at you about God - those are the people who give true, genuine Christians a bad name. It's so unfortunate but it is what it is.
You have a very good grasp of theology.It would be a great blessing to any man to have a wife as devoted to God.
My main requirement in a wife is that she should love God more than she loves me.That's probably why I'm still single.LOL
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But 9 out of 10 people who claim to be Christians aren't even saved
And you know this how?
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Jesus said,he that endures to the end will be saved.
I think it takes more than just saying i believe in Christ.Obviously obeying his fathers commandments and backing up that faith with works would please God.
The Israelites were in a saved state when Egypt went after them.But that didnt prevent God from punishing some of the Jews afterwards when they dis-obeyed.
Exam your religeon.Even Jesus scolded the Pharissees when they thought they served God.
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Christians all have different paths to take and you cannot assume your hubby's path is your path... be happy that he loves the Lord...
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Re marriage....
Do not be discouraged if your marriage is not what you envisioned it would be during courtship. Says one team of experts: “Unending bliss is just not what marriage is like for most people. It’s wonderful at times and very hard at other times.”
Yes, marriage may not be a storybook romance, but neither does it have to be a tragedy. While there will be times when you and your spouse will just have to put up with each other, there will also be occasions when you can put your differences aside and just enjoy being together, having fun, and talking to each other as friends. (Ephesians 4:2; Colossians 3:13) These are the times when you may be able to rekindle the love that has faded.
Remember, two imperfect humans cannot have a perfect marriage. But they can find a measure of happiness. Indeed, even with difficulties, the relationship between you and your spouse can be a wellspring of immense satisfaction. One thing is certain: If both you and your mate put forth effort and are willing to be flexible and seek the advantage of the other person, there is good reason to believe that your marriage can be saved.—1 Corinthians 10:24.
Lol you guys, my marriage is fine and I'm super super happy - all I'm saying is I wish my husband was saved. And I think I mentioned this before, I'm kind of happy this is happening because it has caused me to cling to God more and think of myself less, which is an answered prayer because I've been praying for God to help me get rid of my ugly selfishness that's always rearing it's ugly head. Oddly, this has improved our marriage because I've almost completely stopped talking about myself and instead only talk about my husband and it has done wonders for our marriage.
Do you know that he isn't saved? Just because someone does not want to talk about God with every breath, watch Christian television and preachers all day and night, and only listen to Gospel music does not mean they are not saved. If you want to do that then that is fine. But you can't condemn others for not doing the same thing. I have an aunt that watches the tv preachers constantly. And all she wants to do is tell every one else what their sins are when by doing that she is sinning herself. The Bible says to get the beam out of your own eye before you worry about the spec in someone else's. I don't know how to say it without it sounding like I am being smart or hateful and I am not trying to be. I am a Christian but I do not try to shove God on everyone all the time. What you say verbally is nothing. IT is what you DO that counts. How you act. I know a person who screams about God to people all the time and how they need to be saved but their actions are far from anything that says they are a Christian. So people don't want to hear it. Again, I am a Christian, but a few weeks ago this guy came in to where I worked and went off in a rant about God and now I should have just walked off but I didn't lol. He was yelling at me and the manager about how the muslims, catholics, and mormons are all going to hell. Then he'd say your a muslim aren't you? You're a mormon aren't you? I just wanted to say "You're an idiot! All I could think was "keep it to yourself". smh. Does not mean I am not saved.
No, it's not even me preaching to my husband about Him sinning - I just like to talk about God. I don't know about you guys but from what I've studying the central theme of our lives should be God. It is all about Him. He should consume our minds and our thoughts and we should long to make Him the center of everything we do. Deuteronomy 11:18-20 "You shall therefore impress these words of mine on your heart and on your soul; and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall teach them to your sons, talking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up. And thou shalt write them upon the door posts of thine house, and upon thy gates.."
John 4:23 ..the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for such people the Father seeks to be His worshipers.
We are saved for God - He doesn't save us so we don't go to Hell, although that is a benefit for us. We are saved for the main purpose of worship. It's splattered all over the Bible. Worship is so incredibly important to God, I'm convinced it's the most important thing to Him.
I don't sit around watching preachers on TV all day - don't get me started on televangelists - I believe the majority of them are health and wealth / prosperity teachers. Word of Faith. Not good, not good at all. Joel Osteen's wife Victoria just made a comment a week or so ago on national television about how when we serve God we aren't really doing it for Him, we are doing it for ourselves. That's not what the Bible says. That sounds selfish and self centered in my opinion.
And we are supposed to judge other who claim to be believers, but not judge unbelievers. Matthew 18:15 "If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. (it continues by saying what to do if they don't listen). BUT we have to confront our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ in love. Ephesians 4:15 speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ..
1 Corinthians also has some examples, to list one: 1 Corinthians 13:3 ..if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.
If we do ANYTHING in an unloving way, it is completely done in vain.
We aren't supposed to shove the Gospel down people's throats but we are certainly supposed to spread the Good News about Christ and forgiveness:
Isaiah 52:7 How lovely on the mountains Are the feet of him who brings good news, Who announces peace And brings good news of happiness, Who announces salvation..
Ezekiel 3:18 When I say to the wicked, ‘You will surely die,’ and you do not warn him or speak out to warn the wicked from his wicked way that he may live, that wicked man shall die in his iniquity, but his blood I will require at your hand.
Matthew 28:19 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations..
Mark 16:15 .."Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.
Acts 1:8 but you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be My witnesses both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and even to the remotest part of the earth."
1 Corinthians 9:16 For if I preach the gospel, I have nothing to boast of, for I am under compulsion; for woe is me if I do not preach the gospel. For if I do this voluntarily, I have a reward; but if against my will, I have a stewardship entrusted to me.
How are people supposed to hear the Good News if we don't tell them? And how scary is Ezekiel 3:18 that says if we don't tell them and they die in their sin, their blood will be on our hands? BUT IT ALL HAS TO BE DONE IN LOVE, THE EVANGELIZING, THE CONFRONTATION OF FELLOW BELIEVERS, OR ELSE IT IS IN COMPLETE AND UTTER VAIN! Useless in God's eyes.
Yes, it is also important that you walk the walk, but not primarily so it will draw others to Christ - it's primarily because Christ shed His blood and we should feel compelled to obey His commands perfectly (although that is impossible, we can still try). I think God's commandments can't be kept on our human level, we need divine help through prayer.
But 9 out of 10 people who claim to be Christians aren't even saved, and like the guy you said came into your workplace and started screaming at you about God - those are the people who give true, genuine Christians a bad name. It's so unfortunate but it is what it is.
You have a very good grasp of theology.It would be a great blessing to any man to have a wife as devoted to God.
My main requirement in a wife is that she should love God more than she loves me.That's probably why I'm still single.LOL
Well you know what - I was thinking about it the other day and judging his reactions to things I almost wonder if my husband is jealous of God AKA God's placement on my list of priorities. Maybe my husband wants to be #1 on my list and is upset because God is #1 - just a thought, not saying it's true.
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But 9 out of 10 people who claim to be Christians aren't even saved
And you know this how?
They've actually done a country wide study and 89% of Americans called themselves Christians but when answering questions to determine if they were born again vs. attached the name Christian to themselves, I think it was 10% or less who passed the test. I don't have time to look it up, I'll see if I can find the exact numbers and post them on here.
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Christians all have different paths to take and you cannot assume your hubby's path is your path... be happy that he loves the Lord...
That's the thing though, I don't know if he does love the Lord. Only time will tell..
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Someone once told me we should realize that since God is omniscient that every sin we commit is like we're doing it at the foot of His throne.
Romans 6:1-2 What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin so that grace may increase? May it never be! How shall we who died to sin still live in it?
Is he Catholic?
No, he isn't Catholic...he's supposedly Southern Baptist. Either way, I've tried to explain to him what he does isn't right, but as you say..he'll be the one to have to answer for his actions.
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I also agree with some of the other responses here that religion is a private thing, and it doesn't necessarily have to be shared in a couple. What's of more concern is that it seems to be causing friction. My advice would be to talk to him openly about what he thinks, expressing your support of him. Listen to what he has to say. It may really help in this situation.
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In a codependent relationship, if one person is extreme about something...the other person could easily swing to the other polarity to create balance. It all takes place on a subconscious level so neither person is consciously aware of what's happening. I would suggest that you create balance within YOURSELF by taking a vacation from thinking about and talking about religion.
Let him initiate the conversation occasionally and you might be surprised when you experience HIS spirituality.
Another suggestion. Spend some time alone in nature with him where you are both silent. Then you can experience the purity and love of each other's spirituality.
:heart:
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Do you know that he isn't saved? Just because someone does not want to talk about God with every breath, watch Christian television and preachers all day and night, and only listen to Gospel music does not mean they are not saved. If you want to do that then that is fine. But you can't condemn others for not doing the same thing. I have an aunt that watches the tv preachers constantly. And all she wants to do is tell every one else what their sins are when by doing that she is sinning herself. The Bible says to get the beam out of your own eye before you worry about the spec in someone else's. I don't know how to say it without it sounding like I am being smart or hateful and I am not trying to be. I am a Christian but I do not try to shove God on everyone all the time. What you say verbally is nothing. IT is what you DO that counts. How you act. I know a person who screams about God to people all the time and how they need to be saved but their actions are far from anything that says they are a Christian. So people don't want to hear it. Again, I am a Christian, but a few weeks ago this guy came in to where I worked and went off in a rant about God and now I should have just walked off but I didn't lol. He was yelling at me and the manager about how the muslims, catholics, and mormons are all going to hell. Then he'd say your a muslim aren't you? You're a mormon aren't you? I just wanted to say "You're an idiot! All I could think was "keep it to yourself". smh. Does not mean I am not saved.
No, it's not even me preaching to my husband about Him sinning - I just like to talk about God. I don't know about you guys but from what I've studying the central theme of our lives should be God. It is all about Him. He should consume our minds and our thoughts and we should long to make Him the center of everything we do. Deuteronomy 11:18-20 "You shall therefore impress these words of mine on your heart and on your soul; and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall teach them to your sons, talking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up. And thou shalt write them upon the door posts of thine house, and upon thy gates.."
John 4:23 ..the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for such people the Father seeks to be His worshipers.
We are saved for God - He doesn't save us so we don't go to Hell, although that is a benefit for us. We are saved for the main purpose of worship. It's splattered all over the Bible. Worship is so incredibly important to God, I'm convinced it's the most important thing to Him.
I don't sit around watching preachers on TV all day - don't get me started on televangelists - I believe the majority of them are health and wealth / prosperity teachers. Word of Faith. Not good, not good at all. Joel Osteen's wife Victoria just made a comment a week or so ago on national television about how when we serve God we aren't really doing it for Him, we are doing it for ourselves. That's not what the Bible says. That sounds selfish and self centered in my opinion.
And we are supposed to judge other who claim to be believers, but not judge unbelievers. Matthew 18:15 "If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. (it continues by saying what to do if they don't listen). BUT we have to confront our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ in love. Ephesians 4:15 speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ..
1 Corinthians also has some examples, to list one: 1 Corinthians 13:3 ..if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.
If we do ANYTHING in an unloving way, it is completely done in vain.
We aren't supposed to shove the Gospel down people's throats but we are certainly supposed to spread the Good News about Christ and forgiveness:
Isaiah 52:7 How lovely on the mountains Are the feet of him who brings good news, Who announces peace And brings good news of happiness, Who announces salvation..
Ezekiel 3:18 When I say to the wicked, ‘You will surely die,’ and you do not warn him or speak out to warn the wicked from his wicked way that he may live, that wicked man shall die in his iniquity, but his blood I will require at your hand.
Matthew 28:19 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations..
Mark 16:15 .."Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.
Acts 1:8 but you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be My witnesses both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and even to the remotest part of the earth."
1 Corinthians 9:16 For if I preach the gospel, I have nothing to boast of, for I am under compulsion; for woe is me if I do not preach the gospel. For if I do this voluntarily, I have a reward; but if against my will, I have a stewardship entrusted to me.
How are people supposed to hear the Good News if we don't tell them? And how scary is Ezekiel 3:18 that says if we don't tell them and they die in their sin, their blood will be on our hands? BUT IT ALL HAS TO BE DONE IN LOVE, THE EVANGELIZING, THE CONFRONTATION OF FELLOW BELIEVERS, OR ELSE IT IS IN COMPLETE AND UTTER VAIN! Useless in God's eyes.
Yes, it is also important that you walk the walk, but not primarily so it will draw others to Christ - it's primarily because Christ shed His blood and we should feel compelled to obey His commands perfectly (although that is impossible, we can still try). I think God's commandments can't be kept on our human level, we need divine help through prayer.
But 9 out of 10 people who claim to be Christians aren't even saved, and like the guy you said came into your workplace and started screaming at you about God - those are the people who give true, genuine Christians a bad name. It's so unfortunate but it is what it is.
lol. Yeah, I heard that little speech. She is an idiot.
Actually, we are not suppose to judge anyone.
Matthew 7:1 says "Judge not, lest ye be judged" and
Matthew 7:5 says "get the beam out of your own eye before you worry about the spec in your brothers" and
Luke 6:42 and Luke 7:3 also talks about worrying about yourself and not someone else.
I disagree with you saying 90% of the people who claim to be a Christian are really not saved. I do agree that there are a LOT of people who show up for church every Sunday and act like everything is okay but I think deep down they know they really are not saved. Either way, that is not for me to judge. I don't have a right to say "well yeah you come to church but I don't think you are really saved". I am sure there are people who look at me and say the same thing. It does not matter what other "people" think about me. It only matters what God thinks. I totally get what you are saying but at the same time I know I am saved but everything I do and say it not about God. It's the same with most people. And if you have a job there is a 99% change you are not allowed to talk to customers about God. I had a job once where when I was hired I was told "I know you are a Christian, the others working here are not, so keep it to yourself". I was young, I should have demanded they keep their cursing and wicked ways to themselves.
We see people we are in close contact with different than others because we see what they don't. All "we" know is what you have said on here and without seeing how your husband acts and lives it is hard to say and again not my place to judge him.
Here is a thought, have you ever just flat out asked him "hey "his name" if you died tonight do you know for sure that you are going to Heaven" Or something along those lines. I dated a guy eons ago and I thought he was saved. He actually went up in front of the church and went thru the motions of "getting saved". I can't remember if this conversation was before or after that but we were talking about people and dating and I told him he was the first guy I had dated that was a Christian. And he said something , looked really weird and stuttered around. I said "you are saved right" and he said no he wasn't. I think this was before because right after that is when he went down at the alter call. Anyway, we ended up breaking up because he was getting drunk and I was NOT going to put up with that. When we broke up one of the things he yelled at me was how he had done all this stuff to try to make me happy. I have done this, done this, I tried getting saved, I done this.... And I was like "WHAT? You "TRIED" getting saved? What does that mean? You just went up for me??? Anyway, he just got mad. And he never came back to church.
Idk about your husband but I do know guys will lie and do whatever or say whatever to keep a girl around if he wants her around. lol.
Asking him what I said is about all you can do. But like I said just because everything he talks about or does is not all about God does not mean he is not saved.
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I also agree with some of the other responses here that religion is a private thing, and it doesn't necessarily have to be shared in a couple. What's of more concern is that it seems to be causing friction. My advice would be to talk to him openly about what he thinks, expressing your support of him. Listen to what he has to say. It may really help in this situation.
Religion should be shared in a marriage: 2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?
That's just one verse I thought I'd post quickly!
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But 9 out of 10 people who claim to be Christians aren't even saved
And you know this how?
They've actually done a country wide study and 89% of Americans called themselves Christians but when answering questions to determine if they were born again vs. attached the name Christian to themselves, I think it was 10% or less who passed the test. I don't have time to look it up, I'll see if I can find the exact numbers and post them on here.
Questions that determine if you are born again? lol. The only thing that determines that is if you have asked Christ into your heart. No survey can determine a person's heart.
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lol. Yeah, I heard that little speech. She is an idiot.
Actually, we are not suppose to judge anyone.
Matthew 7:1 says "Judge not, lest ye be judged" and
Matthew 7:5 says "get the beam out of your own eye before you worry about the spec in your brothers" and
Luke 6:42 and Luke 7:3 also talks about worrying about yourself and not someone else.
So,you don't believe we're allowed to judge one another,yet you've Judged her to be an idiot.Anyone else see the irony?
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But 9 out of 10 people who claim to be Christians aren't even saved
And you know this how?
They've actually done a country wide study and 89% of Americans called themselves Christians but when answering questions to determine if they were born again vs. attached the name Christian to themselves, I think it was 10% or less who passed the test. I don't have time to look it up, I'll see if I can find the exact numbers and post them on here.
Questions that determine if you are born again? lol. The only thing that determines that is if you have asked Christ into your heart. No survey can determine a person's heart.
The Bible says again and again we are dead in our trespasses:
Ephesians 2:1 And you were dead in your trespasses and sins..
Ephesians 2:5 even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved)..
Colossians 2:13 When you were dead in your transgressions and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He made you alive together with Him, having forgiven us all our transgressions..
How can we accept something when we are dead? We can't, we need a revival. Yes, there are questions to determine if you're born again - if you think you need faith + good works to get to heaven, for example, that's not putting your faith and trust in Christ alone and therefore you are NOT going to heaven.
There are a lot of things that you don't have to get right to get to heaven, but there are some things that if you miss - forget it, it's done, you're not going to heaven. The Catholics believe in faith + good works. What about when Jesus said on the cross, "It is finished"? I could go on all day about this.
And I want you to read 1 Corinthians 5:9-13 in regards to judging fellow believers:
9 I wrote you in my letter not to associate with immoral people; 10 I did not at all mean with the immoral people of this world, or with the covetous and swindlers, or with idolaters, for then you would have to go out of the world. 11 But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he is an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler-- not even to eat with such a one. 12 For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Do you not judge those who are within the church? 13 But those who are outside, God judges. Remove the wicked man from among yourselves.
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lol. Yeah, I heard that little speech. She is an idiot.
Actually, we are not suppose to judge anyone.
Matthew 7:1 says "Judge not, lest ye be judged" and
Matthew 7:5 says "get the beam out of your own eye before you worry about the spec in your brothers" and
Luke 6:42 and Luke 7:3 also talks about worrying about yourself and not someone else.
So,you don't believe we're allowed to judge one another,yet you've Judged her to be an idiot.Anyone else see the irony?
THANK YOU, my pastor literally said that same exact thing last night.
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But 9 out of 10 people who claim to be Christians aren't even saved
And you know this how?
They've actually done a country wide study and 89% of Americans called themselves Christians but when answering questions to determine if they were born again vs. attached the name Christian to themselves, I think it was 10% or less who passed the test. I don't have time to look it up, I'll see if I can find the exact numbers and post them on here.
In other words, someone wrote questions so that they can “judge” who has been “saved” or not. I don’t believe that man has the ability to do that.
James 4:12 There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the One who is able to save and to destroy; but who are you who judge your neighbor?
if you think you need faith + good works to get to heaven, for example, that's not putting your faith and trust in Christ alone and therefore you are NOT going to heaven.
There are a lot of things that you don't have to get right to get to heaven, but there are some things that if you miss - forget it, it's done, you're not going to heaven. The Catholics believe in faith + good works. What about when Jesus said on the cross, "It is finished"? I could go on all day about this.
This sounds more like a grudge against the Catholic faith than anything, which likely stems from confusion on the role of good works play in salvation. I’m not Catholic, so no need for a good works debate, but Jesus does bring them up in the book of Matthew.
Matthew 7:21-23 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’
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I think the concept of Judging people in the Bible is pretty clear.If someone is doing something clearly outside the Christian lifestyle (1 Corinthians 5 for example) you have the right to say it's wrong and that the person is not living by God's Word.
I think it's wrong to judge people as not being Saved over trivial things.I'm fairly conservative,myself.But for example,I listen to Rock music and there are some who act like all Rock music is "The Devil's Music".It's a case of judging hypocritically. Because I never listen to any music that glorifies Hell,the Devil and so forth.Not all Rock is inappropriate,though some is.
So it's really a case of not picking away at people and not trying to impose your standard for being Saved on them.
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I think guys are often someone they aren't in order to impress a woman. One big reason for the divorce rate. People may not agree with my view on religion but I certainly don't want to end up with a woman who doesn't know where I stand. It wouldn't be fair to either of us.
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Just a little advice and I hope you read this. Sometimes we can win someone over with out a word. The scriptures state that. This is what I believe it to mean that by your faith and actions he will see how much you believe and after a while he will notice that your faith means the world to you and you never know he might come around rather than you preaching to him all the time. Let him see you as a christian woman and he will come around and he will appreciate you so much more. Now I am not saying not to talk about God just not so much other wise he might feel you are pushing him.
Good advice, Blondie71. This is precisely what I was going to say. Now that BK_Loves_Chase and her significant other are joined together in the sight of God, she can be a light to him. She can pray for him. She can speak about God to him when he's open to it.
Finding another Christian woman to talk to about this would be a great help to her as well, I'm sure. Perhaps there is an older woman in her church who would be willing to be her mentor for a time.
Above all, BK_Loves_Chase, stay married.
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The world became very wicked in Noahs day.To the point God told Noah to preach to the world and salvation was only to come getting on the ark.We know the result from the bible.Noahs family survived while the rest of mankind perished.
Jesus said that the same would be true in our day. For well over one hundred years, Jehovah’s Witnesses have sounded the warning that Jehovah will take drastic steps to fulfill his promise to establish a new world of righteousness. Though millions have responded positively, billions of earth’s inhabitants take no note. “According to their wish,” they ignore the reality and the significance of the Flood.—2 Peter 3:5, 13.
Noah, however, did take note. He believed what Jehovah God told him. That obedience led to his salvation. The apostle Paul wrote: “By faith Noah, after being given divine warning of things not yet beheld, showed godly fear and constructed an ark for the saving of his household.”—Hebrews 11:7.
Ponder this before you say you are saved!
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But 9 out of 10 people who claim to be Christians aren't even saved
And you know this how?
They've actually done a country wide study and 89% of Americans called themselves Christians but when answering questions to determine if they were born again vs. attached the name Christian to themselves, I think it was 10% or less who passed the test. I don't have time to look it up, I'll see if I can find the exact numbers and post them on here.
In other words, someone wrote questions so that they can “judge” who has been “saved” or not. I don’t believe that man has the ability to do that.
James 4:12 There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the One who is able to save and to destroy; but who are you who judge your neighbor?
if you think you need faith + good works to get to heaven, for example, that's not putting your faith and trust in Christ alone and therefore you are NOT going to heaven.
There are a lot of things that you don't have to get right to get to heaven, but there are some things that if you miss - forget it, it's done, you're not going to heaven. The Catholics believe in faith + good works. What about when Jesus said on the cross, "It is finished"? I could go on all day about this.
This sounds more like a grudge against the Catholic faith than anything, which likely stems from confusion on the role of good works play in salvation. I’m not Catholic, so no need for a good works debate, but Jesus does bring them up in the book of Matthew.
Matthew 7:21-23 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’
Once again, read 1 Corinthians 5:9-13 in regards to judging fellow believers:
9 I wrote you in my letter not to associate with immoral people; 10 I did not at all mean with the immoral people of this world, or with the covetous and swindlers, or with idolaters, for then you would have to go out of the world. 11 But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he is an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler-- not even to eat with such a one. 12 For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Do you not judge those who are within the church? 13 But those who are outside, God judges. Remove the wicked man from among yourselves.
I believe there are certainly questions you can ask to determine if someone is saved.
If you are a professing believer who says good works get you into heaven or denies the deity of Christ or denies the Trinity or doesn't believe Christ rose from the dead, you're going to Hell. Those are orthodox beliefs.
I believe good works do not have any play in salvation, I believe they are a result of salvation.
In reference to James 4:12, 4:11 right before that refers to slander. This isn't forbidding confronting fellow believers who sin, which is commanded all throughout scripture (Mt 18:15-17; Ac 20:31; 1Co 4:14; Col 1:28; Ti 1:13; 2:15; 3:10). Here it is referring to believers throwing careless, derogatory, critical, slanderous accusations at one another. (ref. Dr. John MacArthur)
When you judge, as with all things, you judge with love.
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I don't go up to a fellow believer and say, "I know you've been lying to the whole congregation you stupid, no good jerk."
I would say, "Hey, I know you said you missed Church last Sunday to go to the hospital but so and so said you were at their house watching the Lions play football. You know, the Bible says..."
That's a silly example but it's just an example. We should come along side one another and help one another, we need to grow in knowledge and wisdom so we are better able to honor the Lord as a living sacrifice. How are we doing each other a favor if we see one another sinning and remain silent? I think judging (in love) is an act of love for each other's spiritual life and growth.
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It shows, hey, I see you're sinning against the Lord (which isn't profitable for ANYONE) - that should concern any Christian and cause any Christian to want to help their fellow brother or sister in Christ.
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you don't marry someone then expect them to change to suit your liking. you knew he wasnt religious when you married him. you should have picked a devout follower, then you wouldn't have to expect him to change. God loves us all, even non-believers and sinners :rainbow:
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you don't marry someone then expect them to change to suit your liking. you knew he wasnt religious when you married him. you should have picked a devout follower, then you wouldn't have to expect him to change. God loves us all, even non-believers and sinners :rainbow:
I didn't marry him expecting him to change. Also, when we got married he told me he was a believer and acted like one, too. I'm not expecting him to change, I'm just saying that I thought he was a believer.
Which, for an update, him and I talked the other day and I think the honest problem was he hadn't read his Bible in over a month. Not reading your Bible is something that can truly affect your walk with Christ. I asked him if he could AT LEAST read his Bible for 15 minutes a day - that's not asking much. He said yes. I feel like it's not fair to God, to me, to my kids, or to my husband himself for him not to read his Bible because like I said, it affects your walk with Christ.
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But 9 out of 10 people who claim to be Christians aren't even saved
And you know this how?
They've actually done a country wide study and 89% of Americans called themselves Christians but when answering questions to determine if they were born again vs. attached the name Christian to themselves, I think it was 10% or less who passed the test. I don't have time to look it up, I'll see if I can find the exact numbers and post them on here.
In other words, someone wrote questions so that they can “judge” who has been “saved” or not. I don’t believe that man has the ability to do that.
James 4:12 There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the One who is able to save and to destroy; but who are you who judge your neighbor?
if you think you need faith + good works to get to heaven, for example, that's not putting your faith and trust in Christ alone and therefore you are NOT going to heaven.
There are a lot of things that you don't have to get right to get to heaven, but there are some things that if you miss - forget it, it's done, you're not going to heaven. The Catholics believe in faith + good works. What about when Jesus said on the cross, "It is finished"? I could go on all day about this.
This sounds more like a grudge against the Catholic faith than anything, which likely stems from confusion on the role of good works play in salvation. I’m not Catholic, so no need for a good works debate, but Jesus does bring them up in the book of Matthew.
Matthew 7:21-23 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’
Once again, read 1 Corinthians 5:9-13 in regards to judging fellow believers:
9 I wrote you in my letter not to associate with immoral people; 10 I did not at all mean with the immoral people of this world, or with the covetous and swindlers, or with idolaters, for then you would have to go out of the world. 11 But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he is an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler-- not even to eat with such a one. 12 For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Do you not judge those who are within the church? 13 But those who are outside, God judges. Remove the wicked man from among yourselves.
I believe there are certainly questions you can ask to determine if someone is saved.
If you are a professing believer who says good works get you into heaven or denies the deity of Christ or denies the Trinity or doesn't believe Christ rose from the dead, you're going to Hell. Those are orthodox beliefs.
I believe good works do not have any play in salvation, I believe they are a result of salvation.
In reference to James 4:12, 4:11 right before that refers to slander. This isn't forbidding confronting fellow believers who sin, which is commanded all throughout scripture (Mt 18:15-17; Ac 20:31; 1Co 4:14; Col 1:28; Ti 1:13; 2:15; 3:10). Here it is referring to believers throwing careless, derogatory, critical, slanderous accusations at one another. (ref. Dr. John MacArthur)
When you judge, as with all things, you judge with love.
I never mentioned anything in regards to judging fellow believers, so I'm not sure why you feel I should read that again.
You can ask questions if you want, but the best you are ever going to be able to do is guess whether or not somebody is saved based on their answers. There's no actual way to determine who's been saved, because there's no actual way to determine what they believe in their heart. This is the point others have made but you have chosen to gloss over.
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Oh, okay - when you put it that way, yes. Sorry, I didn't mean to gloss over it I just didn't understand it the way you all were saying it.
So basically what you're saying is even if people give the right answers, they still might not be saved - which I agree with, but still, the people claiming to be born again believers who give the right answers is such a small percentage. And when you put it the way you did, it's even scarier knowing that even some of those people who gave the right answers might not even be truly born again, meaning an even smaller percentage.
Anyway, sorry you girls/guys. Sometimes when I get on here I'm in such a hurry that I apparently don't give things time to process before I answer.
BUT I do want to see where you are coming from in regards to the comment, 'confusion on the role of good works play in salvation.' What do you mean, exactly?
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Sometimes people over do things. Anything can become an addiction: Drugs, gambling, alcohol, sex, television, eating, smoking cigarettes, religion, etc. They lose sight of themselves as well as others as they become overly focused on something that seems important to them. They try to force their addiction on those around them...sometimes as a means of rationalizing their own obsessions but often end up driving those that love them the most away. People with obsessive, compulsive traits only see the good in their vice and can not understand when others, who may have a more realistic balance in their lives, do not join in their compulsion. This behavior becomes especially strong when someone has too much time on their hands or perhaps has a self esteem problem. Compelling others to share their addiction gives them a feeling of control over their imbalances, insecurities or lack of control in their lives. Addicts generally have to sink to their lowest depth before they see the extent of harm their obsession is creating.
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Oh, wow, well my husband says I always take things to the extreme - I agree with him and I am a work in progress!