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Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: cathy37 on March 08, 2016, 05:35:54 pm
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My daughter had a baby 6 months ago and my mother doesn't have anything to do with the baby because he is bi-racial. This has hurt me and my daughter more than she will ever know. The first question she asked me when I called and told her the baby had been born was "Is he that color?". She claims to be a Christian, but this is not a very Christian attitude.
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I'm so sorry your mom thinks that way. I don't know how old your mom is, and honestly I'm not trying to make excuses, but some of the 'older' generation has that thinking. I wish I could tell you she will come around and accept her great grandchild, but that may not happen and that's sad. But at least your daughter has you and bottom line, it's your mother's loss. Congratulations on the birth!
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She is missing out on alot of love not having any thing to do with him -- I am so sorry that you all are going through this I sure hope she comes around!!
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Totally understand my parents did me the same way when I got pregnant at 16 and had a bi racial child, when I had him they moved and left me homeless with my newborn baby........
If she's like that you don't won't her around the child anyways, just pray and God will change her heart :heart:
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I am so sorry to hear your story, but it really is her lost and the child is better off. Some people will never change and that's sad, because God created all of us and no one is better than any one, we all bleed red blood.
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I lost my mother, almost 2 years ago, and what I would give to have an argument with her. Tell your mother how you feel. Send her pictures of the baby. Tell her you love her and hope that some day she will accept the baby as her family.
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I'll pray for your Mom to soften and accept her great Grand-Child. I would send a framed picture. And include in the card, or printed directly on the photo. All children area gift from God. His creation, His plan. Not ours.
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My father was the exact same way with my nephew. He didn't want anything to do with his grandson and never called him by his name. My father only called him n*****. It disgusted me to hear my father speak of his grandson like that. He even showed hatred towards his daughter for sleeping with a n***** as he would put it. My father would always say mean things about my nephew and would call him names. Whenever we stood up for the child he'd get angry with us. Unfortunately we can't change the views of the racist people out there. But what we can do is love the children and show them how much love the world does have to offer. You mother will have to live with missing out on her grandchilds life.
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My grand-daughter had a bi-racial baby 15 months ago. She is in Florida and I am in Wisconsin, though I helped raise her for 15 years.
I would give anything to see, hold that lil guy. I don't see color, I see precious family.
I am sorry you are going through that. My parents would have been the same way.
:rose:
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Special prayers for you, your daughter and new grandchild. It is your mother who will be missing out on so much by not being in this child's life. A child doesn't ask to be born ~ it is a gift from God. Biracial children are quite prominent in the world today and it is something that society must accept. God doesn't differentiate between color, race, creed, etc. so we shouldn't either.
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Prayers to you and your mother. My mother passed away almost 5 years ago. I would give anything to speak with her again. Sit and talk to your mother about your feelings. Hoping in time that your mom will get past her differences.
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Awe thats very sad :( i hope she comes to see the light
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My parents have some of that thinking too. When I met my hubby they did not like the fact that he is bi-racial, and really opposed my relationship, I went and marry him anyways, now the have accepted him and my brother's wife who is of color, and they love their 4 grand daughters. But I do not some people that does not want to accept that the views of the world have changed. I wish you, your daughter and grandbaby the best of luck just love them and pray that she will see the light
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Oh my goodness. That would hurt me so much. However, I have a father-in-law who comes from the same school-of-thought. He has a bi-racial grandaughter. When he met her for the first time, he was is love with the little girl. I think it will work out for you.
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Children are a gift from God, My adopted grandson was of 2 different races, but I still love him. I have several cousins of bi-racial I still think of them as being precious. I grew up in an age of a lot of racial problems. I am part English, French, dark Dutch and Indian. And when I was 9 and going to this one Church the kids told me I was not welcome at their Church because I was a Mexican. Hurt my feelings so much I walked into the Church and informed my grandparents and Uncle I was going home and what happened. they got up and left with me. We then joined another Church. ( closed) Oh well I am now going to the Church now and it is nothing like it was. I was welcomed back with open arms. It is so sad thought and I know it hurts because your mother want accept the child.
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My daughter had a baby 6 months ago and my mother doesn't have anything to do with the baby because he is bi-racial. This has hurt me and my daughter more than she will ever know. The first question she asked me when I called and told her the baby had been born was "Is he that color?". She claims to be a Christian, but this is not a very Christian attitude.
Love your baby twice as much to make up for her not being there and remember how it feels for your mother to abandon you and never do it to your child.
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i have to say i know it hurts that your mom does not want to be a part of your grand daughters life but maybe someday she will come around and realize she is the one that is missing out i have always say a child is gift from god and as long as you surroundyour child and hers with love and honor thats what she will grow up with all the love you can give do not worry about your mom it is her loss
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Without a doubt, that is a real shame. I agree with some earlier comments about the older generation not always being in the modern world. The world has gotten smaller since people can so readily fly nowadays and we have to accept that interracial marriages are only going to become more frequent. I don't see color or race, I see friendship and human companionship. I don't care who my sons marry, I just want them to be happy. If your mother cared about you so much, she would care about what it is important to you - and that is your daughter and her child.
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Some people are very prejudicial in reference to race. In some countries, some take race very seriously...while in other countries, different races are more tolerated.
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My daughter had a baby 6 months ago and my mother doesn't have anything to do with the baby because he is bi-racial. This has hurt me and my daughter more than she will ever know. The first question she asked me when I called and told her the baby had been born was "Is he that color?". She claims to be a Christian, but this is not a very Christian attitude.
wow! that is horrible... remind her that Jesus had to deal with prejudice being a jew! and pharisees judged others.
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That's very sad. I can only hope that if she is indeed a Christian, God will move her at some point. Keep praying!
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My daughter had a baby 6 months ago and my mother doesn't have anything to do with the baby because he is bi-racial. This has hurt me and my daughter more than she will ever know. The first question she asked me when I called and told her the baby had been born was "Is he that color?". She claims to be a Christian, but this is not a very Christian attitude.
That is sad. Will she talk to you if you try to discuss it with her? Could you explain to her how bad you and your daughter have been hurt? I am curious as to if your daughter is with the father of the baby.
catherinedwhite- that is a really good idea.
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I'm sorry for your family problems but, sometimes you just can't change a persons' mind no matter how much you try. Maybe someday, with the help of God, she will come around and realize she has missed out on some of the most important days of her life.
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I believe it is common in that generation... both ways.
That was the time period of Civil Rights, protests & riots, & segregation which they grew up in ... I lived through the riots in Los Angeles, the Rodney King Can't we all get along ones, & it was a scary ordeal. I can't image living through a whole country in such turmoil and racial upset, & the news probably broadcast in 24/7.
I would always stay positive with her about the baby, & when she mentions negativity, just ignore her & continue your positivity at all costs. Don't give in to defending, or acknowledge her negativity; when she sees that her opinion of the situation doesn't matter to you, & her negativity won't change your mind, perhaps she'll stop. Some people just say stuff for attention, they want it to be all about them, even if it is negative... they'll continue to rant because they want a reaction. Don't give it to them. She brings it up, get off the phone. Stay positive. Hopefully when she sees she no longer has power, she'll come around. Just like what the Museum of Tolerance teaches, you don't have to be accepting of everything, just tolerant & respectful of others... your mother may not like it, but she needs to be tolerant & respectful.
Good Luck with your mother & Congratulations on your granddaughter. :)
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I would send her photos and updates on the baby and myself. I would act as if nothing was wrong between us. I would not acknowledge her lack of response. I will pray that she will see what a gift he is before it is to late for her.