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Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: cateyes1 on April 08, 2016, 08:38:37 am
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My daughter who is 38 wont talk to me and hasn't for a while now, I miss her and my 3 Grandkids. When ever I send her an email she never writes back to me. Should I just give up and let her contact me when she's ready? I sign my emails ....Mom, I love you...please give me some advice ! :(
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Just keep the door open - it's up to her if she chooses to walk through it or not. One way to keep the door open is to send cards on birthdays, holidays, etc.. Send an email if you wish.
If you do something spectacular and you want to share - go on vacation, get a new hair-do, etc.. you can send pics.
What you don't want to do is come off as desperate, begging, or pleading because some believe it or not get off on that.
I know it probably tears you up inside, but I suggest you just go on with your life but at least try to keep positive communication going even if you're not getting a response back.
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Gosh such a difficult situation and sad. I have had no contact with my brother or sister since our mom passed in 2010 all over greed. I might be the wrong person because of this to give advice. I would have to know what caused the rift between you guys. I guess I would say go back to that and try to see if you can resolve what caused the problem in the first place. I wish your daughter would realize how short life is and that her children need a grandmother. I'll pray for you and that things will fall in place. I am sorry for your sad situation.
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I am so very sorry for your situation. It's hard to give an answer because it depends on what happened to cause the problem. I would tell her you love her and your grandchildren and would love to be back in their lives, and then stop correspondence. Send birthday cards, holiday cards, but stop the constant emails etc. she is receiving them and for what ever reason does not want to respond to them. Like the last person said, I wouldn't beg. I know it hurts and tears your heart out, but bottom line, it's her decision and you can't make someone like, love, or want you. Good luck and I pray you resolve this.
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Don't stop communicating because one day she will realize she only has one mother and when that day comes, I sure hope and pray for you both it won't be too late.
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I would keep them door open for the daughter...but not beg for her to talk to you. maybe just every once in a while send a note reminding her that you're there and love her and are ready to talk when she is. if you seem desperate then you leave the way open to be taken advantage of.
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If you call her directly, will she answer the phone? Try to have some party, soon Mother's Day will be here, plan to have a nice dinner, anything can be solve if keep communicating.
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If you call her directly, will she answer the phone? Try to have some party, soon Mother's Day will be here, plan to have a nice dinner, anything can be solve if keep communicating.
Hi Sherry, no she wont answer the phone either. Last Mothers day came and gone and NOTHING :( ...She did something she shouldn't have and I let her husband know about it. I should have stayed loyal to her and not say anything to her husband. She claims that she is not mad at me for that yet she still wont talk to me since. She doesn't want to own up to her part. I just feel like i'm an awful mother now for betraying her secret. I cant seem to forgive myself and I sometimes don't even want to be here anymore :(...I miss her and the kids.
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Send her positive, loving thoughts and let her come to you. Sometimes we all take a vacation from certain family members.
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Cateyes,this is hard to judge because you arent saying what you did.Never the less even the worst sins committed have been forgiven if one is truly repentant.
You sound like you are and hopefully your daughter will forgive you because she might need it someday too.Bow your head and ask God for peace and calmness and to do the right thing.
I wish you well.The family is very trying today and i can assure you many are going thru stuff like this.The definition of love starts off,that it is long-suffering and kind and doesnt keep account of the injurys.We are human and all sinful creatures.Knowing that helps us understand us and others.
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I would try something else beside's just an email. She may or may not have that email anymore. Just let her know how much you care. Send a snail mail, a phone call. Let her know your there if she need's you, she might one day!
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My sister in law has the same problem with her son.not sure what happened but they haven't talked in a year or more.Know she doesn't like her daughter in law to much.We told her to keep calling and try to work it out. I know my mother used to get on my nerves sometimes but I always talked to her .Talk out problems if you can and good luck.
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all you can do is give it time and keep trying i was in your place with my brother who i have not seen in over 40 years and we had not talked for over 35 years but i kept writing emails phone calls and now we are at least talking so keep the faith your miracle will come sweetie i will pray for it to happen faster for you good luck
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A trust has been broken. Apologized sincerely once. Then keep being who you are. Send letters, send emails, trying calling. You are her mother. You love her and she loves you and needs you. But right now she's angry. Do NOT give up. You don't want her to be burdened with deep regret after you're gone. I can tell you're a good mother.
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obviously you haven't given the whole story. I'm sorry to hear your pain. is this relationship a toxic one? Why would a daughter simply stop communication with her mother and not let you see the grand-kids? You did something to upset her... Start off with remembering that relationships are more important than your pride; before you regret it. You also need to respect her boundaries. Prayers for amends and reconciliation :peace: :heart: in the family.
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April 8, 2016
Hello to everyone out there in Fusion Cash World
Wow! I wish I had my mom to talk with still, but she died and went to Heaven. She is with God now,
I will also pray for your situation and ask God to turn things around for you so that you can see your daughter sand spend "quality time" together!
Let me know how it goes , s. Ok?
All right, talk with you later!
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I'm with those that say keep trying. She may have your email address blocked so that your emails maybe going straight to her junk folder. Open another email account and do as others have suggested, don't overwhelm her with emails but send information about what's happening in your life. Short little notes, got a new haircut, tell her about a good day you had and that you wanted to share it with her. Keep the door open. I would send birthday cards and/or small gifts on birthdays and holidays. Remember, she's a mom too so remember her on Mother's day. Also remind her on Mother's day that she's the best gift you ever received. Maybe a gift card to her favorite restaurant. I would never stop trying and maybe, just maybe, own up to your part in the split. Keep apologizing and remind her you thought you were doing what was best but sometimes even us moms make mistakes.
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My daughter who is 38 wont talk to me and hasn't for a while now, I miss her and my 3 Grandkids. When ever I send her an email she never writes back to me. Should I just give up and let her contact me when she's ready? I sign my emails ....Mom, I love you...please give me some advice ! :(
Depends on WHY she is not talking to you. There has to be more to it. Without that missing piece of the puzzle it is hard to give any advice.
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From the other side... i am a daughter who has cut off contact with mother. It is hard, but necessary. She was toxic. I know to her, she thinks she has done nothing, but I have the texts, calls, and emails to prove otherwise. She needs serious mental health help but is good at fooling the not so smart people around her into believing whatever she wants. She is very manipulative. I happen to see through it so that doesn't work for her and she resorts to nastiness in my case.
It really depends on why your daughter isnt in contact with you. My mother still signs LOVE, MOM but it isnt really love. It is drama and control issues. Your daughter may feel that your love isnt really love or maybe mad about something, who knows. I am sure you have some insight into it, but if not you might want to pen a letter that asks her what you did or what she thinks you did and how you can repair the relationship. Not once has my mother accepted responsibility. She blames me for not talking to her when it was her behavior that lead to it, not that an apology from her would be heart felt.
It is hard going through life without a mother who truly loves you, or only loves you in some warped way. I wish she could see herself and her contribution to this situation.
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A trust has been broken. Apologized sincerely once. Then keep being who you are. Send letters, send emails, trying calling. You are her mother. You love her and she loves you and needs you. But right now she's angry. Do NOT give up. You don't want her to be burdened with deep regret after you're gone. I can tell you're a good mother.
I like how you put that. I posted earlier and that is something that my mother likes to leave in her nasty messages. She HOPES I live to regret not talking to her. Is that love?
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A trust has been broken. Apologized sincerely once. Then keep being who you are. Send letters, send emails, trying calling. You are her mother. You love her and she loves you and needs you. But right now she's angry. Do NOT give up. You don't want her to be burdened with deep regret after you're gone. I can tell you're a good mother.
I like how you put that. I posted earlier and that is something that my mother likes to leave in her nasty messages. She HOPES I live to regret not talking to her. Is that love?
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From the other side... i am a daughter who has cut off contact with mother. It is hard, but necessary. She was toxic. I know to her, she thinks she has done nothing, but I have the texts, calls, and emails to prove otherwise. She needs serious mental health help but is good at fooling the not so smart people around her into believing whatever she wants. She is very manipulative. I happen to see through it so that doesn't work for her and she resorts to nastiness in my case.
It really depends on why your daughter isnt in contact with you. My mother still signs LOVE, MOM but it isnt really love. It is drama and control issues. Your daughter may feel that your love isnt really love or maybe mad about something, who knows. I am sure you have some insight into it, but if not you might want to pen a letter that asks her what you did or what she thinks you did and how you can repair the relationship. Not once has my mother accepted responsibility. She blames me for not talking to her when it was her behavior that lead to it, not that an apology from her would be heart felt.
It is hard going through life without a mother who truly loves you, or only loves you in some warped way. I wish she could see herself and her contribution to this situation.
I wish I could someone how email you privately
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Perhaps you have heard the expression "if all else fails, pray"?
Years ago, when I was a God-defying athiest, my 5 year old daughter lay in the hospital in a coma....with an inoperable blood clot on her brain. She also had a medical record case of spinal meninghitiis.
The doctor told me she would most likely die withing the day.
The nurse turned to me, and told me my only hope was to pray. I said "what kind of God have you got that would do this to my daughter?!"
In anger, after the nurse left the room, I grabbed my daughter's toe (only part of her without a tube coming out) looked out the window and defied (gasp!) God and said "If you are real, You prove it and prove you care!". I was devasted and furious.
I ran out of the room, and went to see someone I knew to cry on their shoulder.
When I got back, 45 minutes later, the nurses were saying "Where did you go? As soon as you left, your daughter came out of her coma!!!"
To make a long story short, she is now a college graduate, married.
God is real. Ask Him for help.
I will pray for you :)
:rose:
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Perhaps you have heard the expression "if all else fails, pray"?
Years ago, when I was a God-defying athiest, my 5 year old daughter lay in the hospital in a coma....with an inoperable blood clot on her brain. She also had a medical record case of spinal meninghitiis.
The doctor told me she would most likely die withing the day.
The nurse turned to me, and told me my only hope was to pray. I said "what kind of God have you got that would do this to my daughter?!"
In anger, after the nurse left the room, I grabbed my daughter's toe (only part of her without a tube coming out) looked out the window and defied (gasp!) God and said "If you are real, You prove it and prove you care!". I was devasted and furious.
I ran out of the room, and went to see someone I knew to cry on their shoulder.
When I got back, 45 minutes later, the nurses were saying "Where did you go? As soon as you left, your daughter came out of her coma!!!"
To make a long story short, she is now a college graduate, married.
God is real. Ask Him for help.
I will pray for you :)
:rose:
I am sitting here crying happy tears for you. I am so glad your daughter made it through :)
Oh believe you me God is my best friend, he has helped me through sooooo much in my life already. I have prayed to God to bring her and my Grandkids back in my life but I think he is sick of helping me lol. Is there such a thing of asking for to much :(
I have genualy ( sorry I cant spell it) reached out to her but she doesn't want any part of me anymore :(
Thank you for your prayers though, maybe someday, fingers crossed !!
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Oh my dear, don't give up. God loves you and He loves your family.
I know the pain of separation (another long story). God knows. He teaches faith, trust and endurance in our trials.
I will pray God create a need in your daughter, that only you can help with....including forgiveness in her heart for your mistake.
Take heart.
:rose:
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So sorry your daughter won't speak to you. Just let her know that you will always love her and the grand kids and you will never turn your back on them. Best of luck to you.
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You have done all you can to reach out to her, the ball is in her court now. At least you can say you tried. It's a shame that she hasn't contacted you back, but if she isn't ready, it's probably best not to force it. One day she will wake up, miss her mom, and at the point be ready to respond. I hope it's sooner than later. Good luck with everything, and keep your head up.
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go to a pay phone and call person to person and ask what u did wrong
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go to a pay phone and call person to person and ask what u did wrong
If she will not talk to her then she certainly will not accept the collect charges. Person to Person means you KNOW who is calling you. And no one will accept the charges from a caller if they do not know the name or who is calling them.
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I know it is painful. Just keep the communications open and a positive attitude! I pray you both make amends!
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Without going into detail my daughter cheated on her husband. He found out first by mistake before I even said anything to him. My daughter is 38 and her husband is 53 and we don't get along one bit. He wrote me one day and said that he hopes that I die and after reading that I went and told him exactly what my daughter and this other man did. well since then all hell broke lose and she told me that I should have stayed loyal to her and not say anything to her husband. Her birthday was yesterday and I emailed her a HAPPY BIRTHDAY and that was ignored.....last week I asked her a simple question through and email and she came back with an attitude and so I will admit that after almost a year of being ignored by her I wrote her back saying that "I wish I never had her" and some other mean things (all out of anger) she writes back " what kind of mother talks to their child that way" UGH...she will NOT own up to her wrong doing...she emailed me the other day calling me an idiot, told me to stay out of her life and to never call or email her again....I give up on her and at this point I don't care if I EVER see her again...thank you for letting me vent....I just want to say that over the year I have apologized to her many times over and she doesn't want to hear it....in her mind I wasn't "loyal" to her so she hates me now !!
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i know how you feel...my youngest daughter wot talk to me..she will text her daddy back but not me..she's not mad..dont know why....i'm glad she doesnt have any kids...
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i know how you feel...my youngest daughter wot talk to me..she will text her daddy back but not me..she's not mad..dont know why....i'm glad she doesnt have any kids...
Sorry to hear that
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Well, I haven't read any of the responses, but I bet there is more to the story. I am on the opposite end of this, and I have VERY GOOD reasons for not speaking with my parents.
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Well, I haven't read any of the responses, but I bet there is more to the story. I am on the opposite end of this, and I have VERY GOOD reasons for not speaking with my parents.
Can I ask why you don't talk to your parents? do you miss them?
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Cateyes....why did your daughtrs hubby wish that you would die?Did he feel that way cos he felt you would only pull her part?And even after he knew of the cheat,did you go on to tell him to help him understand it was the truth?
You shoulda scolded your daughtr that she sinned....if thats what you did.....if your intent was to help the marriage your conscience should be clear!!
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Cateyes....why did your daughtrs hubby wish that you would die?Did he feel that way cos he felt you would only pull her part?And even after he knew of the cheat,did you go on to tell him to help him understand it was the truth?
You shoulda scolded your daughtr that she sinned....if thats what you did.....if your intent was to help the marriage your conscience should be clear!!
To be honest I don't know why he wished me dead, this was a year ago. I cant stand him as much as he cant stand me. He says things to everyone and he thinks he funny but not many people like him. When he said " I hope you die" I told him about my daughter with the other guy because I wanted him to hurt as much as it hurt me when he made that comment....i'm bad I guess
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Not to be a rainy cloud but I haven't talked to my father for thirty two years. His behavior and level of care in my/my sister's formative years left a lot to be desired. He is now trying to get back in touch and I am not willing to allow him into my life. My children are at an age where they can figure things out and I do not stand in the way of them communicating with him. He has made amends with my wife, mother and step father as well. I have forgiven him for his behavior with me but choose not to allow him into my life. I have not forgiven him for the mess he made of my sister which will take longer as she bounces in and out of rehabilitation centers and emergency rooms and I am cleaning up the mess he made of her. I had learned dismissive traits from him and am quick to let go of relationships when people are less than adequate-I just can't find the time.
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So now the picture becomes clear.You both dont like each other and you mention the cheat for your own ammo!!
And then it costs you a relationship besides with your daughter.If your telling him was to help the marriage and discipline your daughter thats different.It wasnt.You shoulda minded your business and stayed neutral.
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So now the picture becomes clear.You both dont like each other and you mention the cheat for your own ammo!!
And then it costs you a relationship besides with your daughter.If your telling him was to help the marriage and discipline your daughter thats different.It wasnt.You shoulda minded your business and stayed neutral.
If you knew this guy it would be hard to stay neutral believe you me. It's not the first time he's called me names and for no reason. My daughter even fought with him a few times for it. When she use to call me every night and telling me about she and this other guy, well, she made it my business, otherwise she shouldn't have said anything to me about her little fling.
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So your daughter has defended you in past but she doesnt like idea that you butt in here.Maybe because your daughtr sees you did it for your own advantage.Crazy situation.Sounds to me you would be happy to see him gone and your relationship with daughter comes back.
The tongue as small as it is causes much damage.We all need to think before we speak.I would think if you had been close to daughter before she might understand why you told him and forgive you for butting in for wrong reason.If she doesnt remember it was for your own advantage why you are in this now.
Hopefully you can iron mess out with her and this marriage doesnt sound too stable in all areas!So what else is new?In-laws and controversy still existing!
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Keep trying. I wouldn't do it too often, but don't stop. No matter what happened...time heals all. Best of luck to you. I truly feel for you.
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Keep trying. I wouldn't do it too often, but don't stop. No matter what happened...time heals all. Best of luck to you. I truly feel for you.
Thank you so much bigfoot951, I intend to give it a rest for a long while though. I get to stressed out trying to get back in her life only for her to keep shooting me down....She really needs to own up to her part in all this. She should not have been seeing someone else in the first place....thanks again
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Well, you know how it is: They grow up, move out and want to start their own lives. Send her Birthday cards, Happy Holidays and New Year messages...sooner or later she will get back to you.
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Bless your heart. I would just keep sending cards and birthday gifts. I would pray also on it. But I think you should start walking, join the gym, take an art class, go volunteer at a retirement center, something to keep to busy. Have you ever thought of pen palling? Find a circle of friends that care for you and someone you can write long letters to. Good luck.
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Well Mother's Day yesterday and NOTHING from my daughter...oh well....I hope all you Moms had a good day !!
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I'm sorry :( I know that must be tough, hopefully she will come around soon.
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My daughter who is 38 wont talk to me and hasn't for a while now, I miss her and my 3 Grandkids. When ever I send her an email she never writes back to me. Should I just give up and let her contact me when she's ready? I sign my emails ....Mom, I love you...please give me some advice ! :(
STOP EMAILING- when did we become so dependent on the digital way of communication. If you want to reconcile with your daughter, get your butt over to her house and make it work.
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My daughter who is 38 wont talk to me and hasn't for a while now, I miss her and my 3 Grandkids. When ever I send her an email she never writes back to me. Should I just give up and let her contact me when she's ready? I sign my emails ....Mom, I love you...please give me some advice ! :(
STOP EMAILING- when did we become so dependent on the digital way of communication. If you want to reconcile with your daughter, get your butt over to her house and make it work.
I know hun but she lives 2 states away and her husband told her to tell me I am not allowed at their house...I can NOT stand him grrrrrr
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All you can do is keep your arms open. She will eventually come around even if it's just when she needs you badly. I'll pray for you and your family.
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All you can do is keep your arms open. She will eventually come around even if it's just when she needs you badly. I'll pray for you and your family.
Thank you hun, but I wrote her this morning telling her that " I have no respect for her as a daughter and that she was a disappointment to me" I know that that wont help matters any but I so felt the need to express my feelings....maybe I am a bad Mom :(
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We have gone through that for years now with my youngest sister. She has gone 3 - 4 years at a time without speaking to any of us. She will get mad over any little thing and then won't speak to any of us. Her sons didn't know any of us at one time. Her youngest was 1 1/2 years old before we saw him the first time. The sad part now is that she lives 400 yards from my parents' home and has to pass by there when she goes anywhere. She has only been mad at us for going on five months this time.... We didn't get to celebrate my nephew's 16th birthday with him, either. She'll be back around again when she needs something from one of us. It never fails....
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My sister did this to me and what I did was just show up at her door and hoped that she would not shut it in my face. She didn't! We were able to talk it out and now are on good terms again. Always keep the communication open.
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You might not like my answer but you might just have to let it go until and if she comes to her senses. Life is short and I hope she doesn't have to spend part of hers regretting not having a relationship with you. I have the same issues with my sister and brother and I finally just gave up. I don't know now if I could even re-establish a relationship with them if they came to their senses. Well best of luck to you I am sure this is a hurtful situation for you.
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Because of experiences in my life, I believe that you should not keep pursuing someone who's made it clear they want nothing to do with you. Your door should always be open to them when/if they choose to return, but don't pursue them. I know that can be very hard when the estranged person is your child, but when you continually chase people who've decided to reject you, you only aggravate them and deepen their dislike of you. Groveling, pleading, acting desperate and needy, just breeds contempt for you. Handling yourself with respect, while respecting the wishes of your prodigal loved one, is a better course of action. No, it won't guarantee a reconciliation, but it does mean you can go on with your life with your self-worth intact.
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I guess it depends on what caused the problem in the first place
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Daughter still not talking but life goes on ugh....thank you to everyone who gave me advice!
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You were completely wrong and if she never speaks to you again it's all your fault.
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You were completely wrong and if she never speaks to you again it's all your fault.
Ok which part am I wrong about in your eyes? just curious, and thanks
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So, sorry about your situation but I wonder, maybe she'd changed her email address therefore she's not getting your emails.
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Without going into detail my daughter cheated on her husband. He found out first by mistake before I even said anything to him. My daughter is 38 and her husband is 53 and we don't get along one bit. He wrote me one day and said that he hopes that I die and after reading that I went and told him exactly what my daughter and this other man did. well since then all hell broke lose and she told me that I should have stayed loyal to her and not say anything to her husband. Her birthday was yesterday and I emailed her a HAPPY BIRTHDAY and that was ignored.....last week I asked her a simple question through and email and she came back with an attitude and so I will admit that after almost a year of being ignored by her I wrote her back saying that "I wish I never had her" and some other mean things (all out of anger) she writes back " what kind of mother talks to their child that way" UGH...she will NOT own up to her wrong doing...she emailed me the other day calling me an idiot, told me to stay out of her life and to never call or email her again....I give up on her and at this point I don't care if I EVER see her again...thank you for letting me vent....I just want to say that over the year I have apologized to her many times over and she doesn't want to hear it....in her mind I wasn't "loyal" to her so she hates me now !!
Wow. I may have missed this in another post you made but why would he tell you he hoped you die and then you tell him what your daughter done? I assume this ended her marriage? She is in the wrong. If she loved her husband she would not have cheated on him. She cheated and she got caught and she doesn't want to accept responsibility so she is blaming you. I can understand you miss the grand kids. At this point it doesn't look like there is a lot you can do. I am curious as to how old the kids are? Do they have Facebook? All you can do is wait until they are older and maybe try to contact them and tell your side. But you do not know what your daughter has said about you. I have had people decide they didn't like me before they even met me because they were basically poisoned against me before we actually met. That would make more sense with more details that I can't explain right at the moment. :D
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My daughter who is 38 wont talk to me and hasn't for a while now, I miss her and my 3 Grandkids. When ever I send her an email she never writes back to me. Should I just give up and let her contact me when she's ready? I sign my emails ....Mom, I love you...please give me some advice ! :(
STOP EMAILING- when did we become so dependent on the digital way of communication. If you want to reconcile with your daughter, get your butt over to her house and make it work.
It sounds like she lives in another state. And if someone hates you and does not want to see you then going to their house is a mistake. If she shows up at her house then the daughter can have her arrested if she so chooses. We live in a digital age. There is nothing wrong with emailing or texting as a way of communication. And she cannot MAKE it work if her daughter doesn't want it to.
That is kind of like a few years ago when I was dating a guy and I broke up with him and he wants to "make it work" but I didn't. He could do nothing but move on or go to jail.
We are hearing one side of this and from a person we have talked to on here for quite some time and usually people tend to believe or take the side of the one they hear first. I do not agree with cateyes1 telling the son in law about the affair to get even because he said something hurtful to her. I do agree if she was having an affair he needed to know. I would have found a different way to let him know.
cateyes- you told a little of the mean things you said to your daughter to hurt her back because of what she was saying to you. At this point I think you should back off. You are only making things worse. I would give it a rest for a while. Then either email or send a physical letter (maybe even have someone else mail it so she will open it) and explain that things have gotten out of hand and you are sorry and you do not want things to end like this. Tell her you would like to work things out. That you both have said and done things that were hurtful, mean, etc. Tell her you are sorry for your part and ask if she is willing to try to work out the relationship. Tell her you will await her reply. If you hear nothing you will take that to mean she doesn't want you in her life and that you will leave her alone. And then do that. You cannot make her forgive you or have anything to do with you. At this point if you keep pushing you are only making it worse. You obviously knew about this affair for quite some time and you kept her secret. So outting her just to make him mad was not the right thing to do. I can understand why she is upset. If you were going to tell him you should have done it when it first started.
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Hi Countrygirl. you're right I shouldn't have said ANYTHING about her affair. I did for a long while keep her secret until due to her own mistake he found out so he already knew about the affair. Its just that she told her husband that all they did was talk. After him saying to me "I hope you die" and for other mean things he's said to me and others about me, well I said the gloves are off and told him EVERYTHING my daughter and the other guy did. Her husband and I haven't gotten along for years and NOONE in the family can stand him so this was all building up inside me and after that comment I just lost it. I know it was probably immature on my part and I should have stayed loyal to my daughter but I knew the truth would hurt him and I didn't give a darn because all that he has put me through over the years....I guess it is KARMA biting me in the butt for say something to him....I know for a fact that she didn't change her email to and is getting every one of mine. You would have to know this guy to understand where I am coming from, I would bet that you wouldn't even like him....His Mom passed a few years back and he had her cremated, he one day said to me while he was here "well I have to go and see my mother in her box" he is a very uncaring, uncompassionate, JERK. NOONE can understand what my daughter even see's in him. And your right, if she did TRULY love him she would have NEVER cheated but I know for a fact that after having 3 kids with him she feels stuck.....thank you for your comments....oh and they are still together and my grandkids are 14, 11, and 3 ....I gave up on her
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It is ashamed that your daughter will not speak to you, you are still her mother no matter what. She have a child so what comes around will come around.
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It is ashamed that your daughter will not speak to you, you are still her mother no matter what. She have a child so what comes around will come around.
I'm hoping her daughter for one reason or another stops talking to her one day, they are close like we were once upon a time. I can tell you now she would be devastated i'm sure.
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Hi Countrygirl. you're right I shouldn't have said ANYTHING about her affair. I did for a long while keep her secret until due to her own mistake he found out so he already knew about the affair. Its just that she told her husband that all they did was talk. After him saying to me "I hope you die" and for other mean things he's said to me and others about me, well I said the gloves are off and told him EVERYTHING my daughter and the other guy did. Her husband and I haven't gotten along for years and NOONE in the family can stand him so this was all building up inside me and after that comment I just lost it. I know it was probably immature on my part and I should have stayed loyal to my daughter but I knew the truth would hurt him and I didn't give a darn because all that he has put me through over the years....I guess it is KARMA biting me in the butt for say something to him....I know for a fact that she didn't change her email to and is getting every one of mine. You would have to know this guy to understand where I am coming from, I would bet that you wouldn't even like him....His Mom passed a few years back and he had her cremated, he one day said to me while he was here "well I have to go and see my mother in her box" he is a very uncaring, uncompassionate, JERK. NOONE can understand what my daughter even see's in him. And your right, if she did TRULY love him she would have NEVER cheated but I know for a fact that after having 3 kids with him she feels stuck.....thank you for your comments....oh and they are still together and my grandkids are 14, 11, and 3 ....I gave up on her
I am guessing you are probably right. I probably would not like him. I like how you eek these details out little by little. haha. So he already knew. Chances are he knew they done more than talk. I can understand when you got to going you said more than you probably meant to. Most everyone has done that. I honestly don't know what to tell you. At those ages esp the older ones there is no telling what the kids have been told. And your daughter may have told them you lied. And that she really did not do anything. It is a tough situation. I would cool it for a while and then do what I said. Send her an email and a physical letter. Then leave it up to her. Here is the thing though you have to forgive her. You have sincerely apologized. You have tried. If you won't forgive man then God will not forgive you. You need to forgive her and even though it may hurt move forward with your life. If you give it a couple months with NO contacting her and make one final attempt and she rejects that then she will have to live with that. And she will regret it one day. : (
I wish you good luck and hope that you can work things out.
I am actually seeing a similar situation in that a daughter is refusing to speak to her mom. She is mad at her over something that her mom had no control over. It's a long story. Anyway, here is the thing... "I" know that her mother has previously had cancer. The cancer may be back and there is a chance it is all over her. I am not sure if the daughter knows this info or not. But I am wondering if she would still be petty and refusing to speak to her mother if she knew she could be gone in 6 months.
We are never have the promise of another day. : (
Hope you have a good night. : )
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Why she doesn't want to talk to you?
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Sometime people don't go check email offen. Try to call her or send her an post card. I think she will get over it. Just keep hoping.
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After apologizing, if you don't get a respond then just keep being grandma and trust God that she
will adapt to your better values.
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Thank you everyone. I apologized to her many times and still NOTHING. She knows my number so i'm just going to wait and see if she ever contacts me again but I doubt it. my loss :(
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Sorry that is happening...most things people do is because of their own issues...that probably doesn't help...but I liked what someone said...leave the door open...
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Sorry that is happening...most things people do is because of their own issues...that probably doesn't help...but I liked what someone said...leave the door open...
Thank you, the door is wide open, and yes that helped :)
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It is difficult to say without knowing the circumstances that led to her not communicating; however I would stay the course as you are doing and keep the door open, she knows you are interested/concerned and perhaps she will make the decision to walk back through the door. I thope things work out.
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It is difficult to say without knowing the circumstances that led to her not communicating; however I would stay the course as you are doing and keep the door open, she knows you are interested/concerned and perhaps she will make the decision to walk back through the door. I thope things work out.
Thank you so much. I did explain it all on this topic if you want to look through it :)
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Why she doesn't want to talk to you?
Have you even read the comments?
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Why she doesn't want to talk to you?
Have you even read the comments?
Thank you countrygirl but I guess she hasn't hun.
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Sorry that is happening...most things people do is because of their own issues...that probably doesn't help...but I liked what someone said...leave the door open...
Thank you, the door is wide open, and yes that helped :)
I just had a thought and you may not be interested in going this route but after giving it a little time or maybe now do you think or have you tried having a mediator? Not sure if her father is still in the picture. Or a mutual friend or family member?
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Sorry that is happening...most things people do is because of their own issues...that probably doesn't help...but I liked what someone said...leave the door open...
Thank you, the door is wide open, and yes that helped :)
I just had a thought and you may not be interested in going this route but after giving it a little time or maybe now do you think or have you tried having a mediator? Not sure if her father is still in the picture. Or a mutual friend or family member?
Hun I think a big part of this is and she and I have talked about it before. She is 38 and she NEVER met her father. We got divorced after I had her and he has only seen her once or twice in court....I think that is a BIG part of her problem, her father wanting nothing to do with her and some say she may be taking that out on me as well.
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I would say I am sorry and that I am here for you. Bless you both.
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I would say I am sorry and that I am here for you. Bless you both.
Colbtrist I have said over and over that I am sorry for my part in this. She is just so stubborn to accept and own up to her part....thank you so much !!
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June 2, 2016
Hello to everyone out there in Fusion Cash World
I say that what you need to do is to "never give up on your daughter!" And, I agree with the other member who said tot keep the "doors of communication" open with your daughter.
Instead of an email write out a heart felt letter to her personally and then go to one of your favorite restaurants or get together with a close friend and ask them to take you to the beach and pack a picnic lunch and then take pictures of you and your friend at the beach and hold up a poster with the words "Call me and let's do lunch some time, sweetie pie?" or use whatever nickname you have for your daughter.
And, if it's possible and you know how to do it, then send her a video message of yourself and tell her to her face, "Hello daughter come visit your mother" "And, I will treat you to lunch or dinner if you want!" "But, let's get together and do lunch or dinner, ok?"
And, just give her to God and pray over this situation and ask God to help you to reunite with your daughter once again!
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She wronged her husband, but what did she do to you? For someone who was blasting other parents, I'm appalled at some of the things you have claimed to say to your own daughter. Glass houses...
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She wronged her husband, but what did she do to you? For someone who was blasting other parents, I'm appalled at some of the things you have claimed to say to your own daughter. Glass houses...
.....I was waiting for you to chime in on this. Before you start with the glass house comments, why don't you read EVERYTHING that I said about this matter.
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Hawkeye , what other parents are you talking about...it was 1 other parent..don't start making things up now. Shame on you
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This is very sad, I can imagine how hard this must be.
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She wronged her husband, but what did she do to you? For someone who was blasting other parents, I'm appalled at some of the things you have claimed to say to your own daughter. Glass houses...
.....I was waiting for you to chime in on this. Before you start with the glass house comments, why don't you read EVERYTHING that I said about this matter.
I did. If you want her to talk to you, comments like "I wish I never had her" and "I have no respect for her as a daughter and that she was a disappointment to me" are just making things worse. Those aren't things you should say to your daughter period.
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Hawkeye , what other parents are you talking about...it was 1 other parent..don't start making things up now. Shame on you
There was a mother and a father, that makes them parents. More than one.
You made multiple comments about blaming the "parents" and not just one of them. I'm not making anything up.
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......And you compare this to the gorilla chat? Hmmm how? ...where/when did I EVER mention the father? ...I always talked about the mother..you are so bad
She wronged her husband, but what did she do to you? For someone who was blasting other parents, I'm appalled at some of the things you have claimed to say to your own daughter. Glass houses...
.....I was waiting for you to chime in on this. Before you start with the glass house comments, why don't you read EVERYTHING that I said about this matter.
I did. If you want her to talk to you, comments like "I wish I never had her" and "I have no respect for her as a daughter and that she was a disappointment to me" are just making things worse. Those aren't things you should say to your daughter period.
Hawkeye , what other parents are you talking about...it was 1 other parent..don't start making things up now. Shame on you
There was a mother and a father, that makes them parents. More than one.
You made multiple comments about blaming the "parents" and not just one of them. I'm not making anything up.
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......And you compare this to the gorilla chat? Hmmm how? ...where/when did I EVER mention the father? ...I always talked about the mother..you are so bad
She wronged her husband, but what did she do to you? For someone who was blasting other parents, I'm appalled at some of the things you have claimed to say to your own daughter. Glass houses...
.....I was waiting for you to chime in on this. Before you start with the glass house comments, why don't you read EVERYTHING that I said about this matter.
I did. If you want her to talk to you, comments like "I wish I never had her" and "I have no respect for her as a daughter and that she was a disappointment to me" are just making things worse. Those aren't things you should say to your daughter period.
Hawkeye , what other parents are you talking about...it was 1 other parent..don't start making things up now. Shame on you
There was a mother and a father, that makes them parents. More than one.
You made multiple comments about blaming the "parents" and not just one of them. I'm not making anything up.
....where did I EVER talk about the father?
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......And you compare this to the gorilla chat? Hmmm how? ...where/when did I EVER mention the father? ...I always talked about the mother..you are so bad
She wronged her husband, but what did she do to you? For someone who was blasting other parents, I'm appalled at some of the things you have claimed to say to your own daughter. Glass houses...
.....I was waiting for you to chime in on this. Before you start with the glass house comments, why don't you read EVERYTHING that I said about this matter.
I did. If you want her to talk to you, comments like "I wish I never had her" and "I have no respect for her as a daughter and that she was a disappointment to me" are just making things worse. Those aren't things you should say to your daughter period.
Hawkeye , what other parents are you talking about...it was 1 other parent..don't start making things up now. Shame on you
There was a mother and a father, that makes them parents. More than one.
You made multiple comments about blaming the "parents" and not just one of them. I'm not making anything up.
....where did I EVER talk about the father?
You said parents. Both were there. Why would you only blame one of them? That doesn't make any sense. And you complain about your daughter being stubborn. Good grief.
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......I didn't even know the father was there....ok I stink as a parent shoot me at dawn...Wow!!
......And you compare this to the gorilla chat? Hmmm how? ...where/when did I EVER mention the father? ...I always talked about the mother..you are so bad
She wronged her husband, but what did she do to you? For someone who was blasting other parents, I'm appalled at some of the things you have claimed to say to your own daughter. Glass houses...
.....I was waiting for you to chime in on this. Before you start with the glass house comments, why don't you read EVERYTHING that I said about this matter.
I did. If you want her to talk to you, comments like "I wish I never had her" and "I have no respect for her as a daughter and that she was a disappointment to me" are just making things worse. Those aren't things you should say to your daughter period.
Hawkeye , what other parents are you talking about...it was 1 other parent..don't start making things up now. Shame on you
There was a mother and a father, that makes them parents. More than one.
You made multiple comments about blaming the "parents" and not just one of them. I'm not making anything up.
....where did I EVER talk about the father?
You said parents. Both were there. Why would you only blame one of them? That doesn't make any sense. And you complain about your daughter being stubborn. Good grief.
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Hawkeye don't you have places to go and people to see?
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There's bound to be a point where they will need you...when they reach out, be ready...
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There's bound to be a point where they will need you...when they reach out, be ready...
...Thank you but my daughter will never need me, and if she did she wouldn't let me know she did....I can't keep dwelling on it because I'm making myself nuts ...I just failed as a mom...just how I feel
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The only way that I can see my daughter and grandkids was to make a fake account on FB (I know so wrong to do) BUT, my youngest grandson will be 3 this month and I only met him 1 time....I did take a pic off my daughters page of her and my grandson and posted them to my page because I am so proud of them and I LOVED the pics. Some how my daughter found out and this is an email she sent me.........................................You are a pathetic excuse for a mother, I specifically asked you not to put my photos on your Facebook for all your little freak weirdo friends to see but yet you continue to stalk my profile and steal my photos.... Do not email me ever again.
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I do understand when something may happen with parents. The worst part is that you don't know why. And only she may give you the answers. That maybe a problem if she isn't talking. Just leave it alone, and hopefully she will start talking to you again.
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July 4, 2016
Hi
Well, I guess you could email your daughter and say something like, "Daughter, did I do something to offend you?" "If so, what was it?" And let's talk about it and get it out in the open! I do apologize if I hurt your feelings in any way and I would like for you to tell me what I can do to remedy the situation.
I would like to continue to be a part of your life, but only if you allow it.............otherwise, if you don't want me in your life, then let me know and I will stop emailing you .........but just know that my arms are always open if you ever need to talk with me or even cry with me.
Love Mom
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July 4, 2016
Hi
Well, I guess you could email your daughter and say something like, "Daughter, did I do something to offend you?" "If so, what was it?" And let's talk about it and get it out in the open! I do apologize if I hurt your feelings in any way and I would like for you to tell me what I can do to remedy the situation.
I would like to continue to be a part of your life, but only if you allow it.............otherwise, if you don't want me in your life, then let me know and I will stop emailing you .........but just know that my arms are always open if you ever need to talk with me or even cry with me.
Love Mom
Thank you but I tried that. One of her friends told her that I was trying to drag her down, now how is it that I am proud of her and wanted a couple of pictures dragging her down?...I give up on her ugh
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There must be a reason for her actions, just keep trying to get through to her.
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There must be a reason for her actions, just keep trying to get through to her.
Yes there is a reason and I post it already, thank you
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I know someone doing the same thing but we don't know why there is no contact. All you can do is ask for forgiveness and wait it out. Hope and pray she will come around and forgive you.
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I don't know how to advise you - I wish I did. I have a brother and sister that I haven't seen for six years ever since our mom died - in our case all over a combination of greed and drugs. I wish most of all that your daughter would realize how short life is and how your chance to make things right and have a relationship can be snapped away from you in an instant. Well I wish the best for you and that something will happen to reconcile.
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I don't know how to advise you - I wish I did. I have a brother and sister that I haven't seen for six years ever since our mom died - in our case all over a combination of greed and drugs. I wish most of all that your daughter would realize how short life is and how your chance to make things right and have a relationship can be snapped away from you in an instant. Well I wish the best for you and that something will happen to reconcile.
I'm sorry for you Deb, I don't get family some time. It is hurting less for me not to have her in my life, I do miss my grandkids though....thank you
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I wish I could tell you something to say to her to make it better, but sadly I don't. I know it has to rip your heart out with no contact. Hopefully one day she will realize she only has one mother and will contact you. I'm sorry for your situation.
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I wish I could tell you something to say to her to make it better, but sadly I don't. I know it has to rip your heart out with no contact. Hopefully one day she will realize she only has one mother and will contact you. I'm sorry for your situation.
Thank you Nancy. She emailed me and said that she lost all respect for me and considers me dead. I doubt i'll ever see her again.
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I'm so sorry to hear that. I kniw you made a huge mistake but how long are you expected to pay for it? I pray she will forgive in time. She she your only child? Can you have a sibling, aunt, another relative take to her for you?
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I'm so sorry to hear that. I kniw you made a huge mistake but how long are you expected to pay for it? I pray she will forgive in time. She she your only child? Can you have a sibling, aunt, another relative take to her for you?
I have a son as well Nancy. Nobody wants to get involved and I don't blame them.
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Depends what the reason is.. why she won't talk to you.... besides sending her emails, have you tried calling her? Sometimes it is better than just writing.
Definitely don't give up on her... be there for her!!! I am totally sure she still loves you and maybe she just has to get over some problems on her own... show her and tell her that she will always be able to count on you. Forever!
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Depends what the reason is.. why she won't talk to you.... besides sending her emails, have you tried calling her? Sometimes it is better than just writing.
Definitely don't give up on her... be there for her!!! I am totally sure she still loves you and maybe she just has to get over some problems on her own... show her and tell her that she will always be able to count on you. Forever!
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Jayce I have tried everything including calling her and she wont answer her phone. My health is failing because of her (mental health) I have been stressing to the point I wanted to get sick. I know this sounds mean, but i'm getting to the point where I don't care if I ever see her again. we use to be so close too :(.....thank you