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Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: Cbsteffen on September 02, 2016, 07:48:18 pm

Title: How Often Did You Visit Relatives After You Started Living On Your Own?
Post by: Cbsteffen on September 02, 2016, 07:48:18 pm

I'm asking because my mother wants me to see her again weekly once I've finished moving out.

Title: Re: How Often Did You Visit Relatives After You Started Living On Your Own?
Post by: braggin on September 03, 2016, 03:59:43 am

Weekly is kind of a hard thing to keep up with I should think. I am to see my kids and grandchild one day a month if possible. Everybody is so busy these days it is hard to find time where all family members are free to socialize.

Title: Re: How Often Did You Visit Relatives After You Started Living On Your Own?
Post by: jkhanson on September 03, 2016, 04:06:32 am

When we first moved to Minnesota, we traveled back to Iowa (three hour drive) to visit the family several times per month.  Over the years, our visits have decreased due work schedules, kids schedules.  We get home now 4-5 times per year.  We try to get home for my parent's birthdays and their anniversary.  We also have an annual family reunion.

Title: Re: How Often Did You Visit Relatives After You Started Living On Your Own?
Post by: sak4kat on September 03, 2016, 07:23:03 am

Weekly would be great if you have the time for it.  Although it seems the older we get the busier we get and less time we have.  My parents never made a request as to how often I visited.  Once I had kids I tried to get visits in more often.. although the visits were built around the kids.  We'd visit but not necessarily in each others homes.  At parks, school events etc... Since my oldest has moved on... she's visited once since this last May.  I'm not hurt.  I'm proud.

Title: Re: How Often Did You Visit Relatives After You Started Living On Your Own?
Post by: Penwoir on September 03, 2016, 07:56:52 am

Well, I think there are many variables you need to consider. Firstly, how far did you move? If you moved to another state, it is not reasonable to expect that you visit every weekend, likewise if you moved to somewhere in the same town, it seems a shame if you can't make time for your mom, after she has spent years raising you. That being said, you moved out because you wanted your independence, which you most certainly have the right to, and your mom will have to accept this. At the end of the day, your mom will have to accept visits on your terms now. She should be careful not to put too much pressure on you as your visits are likely to become more infrequent if she makes you feel bad. But at the same time, it's really difficult for parents to let go of their kids and if possible, you should ween her off your company. Hope this helps.

Title: Re: How Often Did You Visit Relatives After You Started Living On Your Own?
Post by: makeblessed on September 03, 2016, 08:04:21 am

It was once or twice a year, since I moved to another state.