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Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: JaniceSW on April 04, 2017, 07:40:37 am
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What do you think? How old is too old to be living with your parents? I have recently watched several TV shows as well as having some acquaintances where children ranging from 25 to as much as 36 are living at home. I don't mean for 6 months while they get on their feet after a life circumstance. I think the least time is 2 years. Do you think some parents enable their children and want them to be dependent?
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If they are comedy shows, the dysfunction of kids living at home that long is part of the humor.
In reality, there are times it makes sense...if the adult child has to have time to get a job/apt etc, or the parents need help.
But I too have seen situations that it is a lazy adult child taking advantage of the parent. I personally find that kind of creepy.
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Our adult son recently moved back in with us, circumstances happened that made it necessary. It's been a tremendous help to my husband and I. The work he is doing around the house is amazing. Things we really wanted to get done but became difficult due to our age and health concerns. He also loves to cook so that's been great. We are enjoying it while it lasts because I don't think it will be long term (forever).
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I personally dont think its anyone elses business if adult children live with their parents
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I agree
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I haven't seen the tv shows.
I rather liked the comment in here by catchow: I personally dont think its anyone elses business if adult children live with their parents
In our lifetime, we have had one adult daughter move back in with us with her kids on several occasions. It is not necessary for me to explain to you the reasons why. It was necessary.
Currently, we have a second adult daughter with her two children living with us. Again, not necessary for you or others to know the story.
Are there times when I feel stressed with the situation? Yes. Are there blessings because they are here. Yes.
Can parents be "used"? Yes
Will I enjoy having the house to just my husband and me again someday? Yes
Do I want my children dependent on us? NO
Will I be there for my children? Yes
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Many cultures have the extended family living in one home.
I have several Indian friends who enlarged their home with the intent that their kids will marry & come live with them. These are highly educated people with good incomes, so it is a cultural thing for many.
I think if more well paying jobs come back to America shortly, there will be more people able to live on their own.... as it is now, the middle class jobs have all but vanished & you are either working/poor - working while collecting benefits; or well paid. Or just on some sort of welfare.
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I agree with Michele 2042, we just had a similar experience and our son was so helpful with all the fall chores
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Once upon a time you graduated school, got a good job and moved out. Once upon a time, sadly times have changed, the good jobs are disappearing and the cost of living is rising. I don't see any problem with adult children living with their parents as long as both sets agree on it and there are rules set in place, the children must help out financially and with things around the house (yard work, cooking, etc). It's really no ones business why an adult child moves back in, or never moved out.
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I think it depends on culture. In some culture, it's usual for kids to stay with their parents until they marry and move out (unless they go to school/found work some place far away). It lets the kids save up money so that they can afford a home when they marry.
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My 2 older kids moved out in their early 20's. My youngest is 25 and living at home. Fine with us cause he does alot of work around the house. He is doing our kitchen floor . Learned how to do it on youtube.He also is only working 5 hrs a day another reason he is living with us. My other son moved back in with his wifes parents for about 8 mns .He wanted to pay down his 20,000 truck and he did.
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I think it depends on the situation. If the adult child is working and helping to pay for bills, has their own private pace and is a single person, I think it is ok. If the child is lazy, does not help around the house, does not work or going to school to better themselves, they need to get out by 21. They are just taking up space and they need to do it at their own place.
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It's up to the parents and the situation. People have Sometimes different reasons. I know older kids that stay home and help their elderly parents and that's better than getting someone in the house that can't be trusted.
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Wow - things sure have changed!! When I was young, I remember wanting to move out of my parents house when I was 18 yrs. old - of course I didn't until I was 21 and getting married but, even today I know my grandson moved out when he was 19 and so far he's doing ok. Maybe parents need to push their kids out!!!!
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I had posted a question to this or almost the same, but i asked when should you tell your adult child to leave home or when is it time to leave the nest. My daughter is 19 and going to college, so i think when she gets herself a good job and save money, then its time for me to say i think its time.
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I think that is a personal decision between the parent(s) and their adult children; none of us know what others circumstances are and I do not feel it is any of my business as it has no impact on my life what others do in their home.
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I think it depends on the family circumstances. I stayed at home until I got married because my mom had RA and could not do a lot of things for herself. My daughter had a great job and when the economy tanked in 2008 she was laid off and it took over a year for her to find a new job so she moved back in with us.
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Emancipation comes at age 18 years old. Try to make it on your own because your parents are not going to share
their wealth with you unless it is Court ordered. Good luck!
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Well, I am not one to judge...at least those adults who voluntarily elect to live with their parents (and I do not know them). However, if I am dating someone, learning that he lives with his parents would be an immediate deal breaker for me (unless it was a temporary arrangement)
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I think 19 you must get out and at least try
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I don't think any age is too old to be living with your parents. Some people just prefer to be around their parents over living alone or with roommates who are not relatives. And some people feel their parents need them in the house and they don't mind providing services to their parents. It all depends on if you are happy living with your parents or not.
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I think that depends on the family as well as the situation.
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Age has nothing to do with it. I lived at my grandparents home until I went in the army at 23 and we are currently looking for a new home large enough for both my son's family and ours and I am 78, planning to live together until I die.
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I agree with jkhanson, but I have had my daughter and her family moved in with us for about 18 months until they got back on their feet. So I say depending on the situation. My brother have his 40 something year old daughter and children move back in with him, but she does not help out much because she have been ill, but she is better, and she needs to help out more
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There is no set number. Family circumstances determine it more than just an age. I don't think it's a good idea to financially struggle and go into debt and ruin your credit if you don't have to do it. That usually what ends up happening when people decide that a person is 18/21/college graduate or whatever and needs to be pushed out.
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Today's world, I don't see a problem with any age still living with their parents!
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I think it's ridiculous for "children" over 25 to live with parents. If they try and fail that's one thing, but if they just play video games they should be put out under the bridge.
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I really don't see a problem with any age as long as they are helping out with finances, work around the house. Some people are close to their parents. Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with them.
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Things aren't like they were in the "old days". It's much easier to pool your resources with your family than strike out on your own. The cost of living (if people really want to take advantage of all the niceties of "modern living") is such that it's impossible otherwise.
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It depends on what you mean by old or too old. It maybe clothes, a person or anything. As with anything if you take care of it, it will survive and your outlook on life.
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To me I think around 35 is too old but I am getting there at 26.
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If the child is a contributing member of the house no age is too old. It's expensive to live in the us and this can really be a fit both parties. However if the child is being enabled 1 year after college is too old.
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Well it is difficult depending on their wages for some people to live on their own and to be honest it seems to be very prevalent today because of that fact. Believe me my two sons moved in with me after my husband/their dad died both to help me and because they lived in a bad area of town and if there was a choice about it take my word for it I wouldn't have it.
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That's a very personal situation for families and I also think it's very difficult. Some kids are disabled; which means, they're not able to make it on their own.
The part that can be very difficult is when a disabled person is in denial about their disability. It's not healthy for the child's self esteem and the parents feel obligated to support their child, regardless of how old he or she is.
I don't believe parents want to enable their children but I think it happens sometimes because the parents feel that's the only option.
The question is....
Is the child disabled because the parents are enablers, OR.....
Are the parents enablers because the child is disabled?
:heart:
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A person might be too old
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I think it depends on the person and the situation
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I have always taught my kids to be independent. I have been through a lot in my life. They know it and I push them to look forward and not back. Positive thinking and planning.
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I am 35 and still live with my mother but I help her out with keeping up the home and doing other necessities. I am going to school and work but rent is so high here I could not do it alone at the moment.
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I think it depends on the person and their situation but I also think no age is too old to still be living at home. I don't see anything wrong with someone still living at home no matter how old they are
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It definitely depends.... In Italy for instance, a lot of people keep living with their parents until 28, sometimes 35.... but that unfortunately depends a lot on the society and on the fact that everything is so expensive.
Also for instance in Italy people don't marry that young and rarely have kids before being at least 26...
No one should judge.... it depends on the family and their own rules, problems, etc.
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We all have our own individual situations about why we may need to live at home as an adult. Never judge someone who does because you probably don't know the whole story.
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I am 40 and still live with my parents. I have a bunch of health problems and I have too. I think people should keep there nose out of other people's business when it comes to these matters.
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Thank God there is no set age. I am 37, single, and still living at home, but I pay my own way. Why give rent money to some strangers when I can give it to my parents who paid for everything for me all the years when I was growing up? It benefits both sides, because I get the advantage of having my meals and laundry taken care of, plus less utility expenses than if I was renting somewhere else, and they get financial help.
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My husbands aunt never moved away from her mother, his grandma.
His grandpa died when his aunt was a teenager. I don't ever judge anyone for staying at home. Everyone has a reason & sometimes it is deeper then what it appears.
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It would depend on the situation. No age is too old to live with the parents. Some parents may even enjoy having their adult children living with them if the parents are older. As long as the children are not taking advantage of the parents' generosity it may work out well for both parties in this economy.
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I personally dont think its anyone elses business if adult children live with their parents
I was going to say that the title of this discussion is not such a good question.
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I was building a house when I was 17 but it was next door to my parents and I lived next door to them till they passed away, dad in 86 and my mom in 07 I sold both houses and moved. It was too hard thinking of someone else in their house and I still living next door.
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I was building a house when I was 17 but it was next door to my parents and I lived next door to them till they passed away, dad in 86 and my mom in 07 I sold both houses and moved. It was too hard thinking of someone else in their house and I still living next door.
My maternal grandparents died in those years too (grandfather in 1986 and grandmother in 2007).
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What do you think? How old is too old to be living with your parents? I have recently watched several TV shows as well as having some acquaintances where children ranging from 25 to as much as 36 are living at home. I don't mean for 6 months while they get on their feet after a life circumstance. I think the least time is 2 years. Do you think some parents enable their children and want them to be dependent?
Hello! :D :)
That is a great question. However I don't think it is a matter of age whether it is a matter of maturity and readiness. For instance there are children that will never be ready to grow up and take care of themselves they will always depend on their parents for everything. Furthermore I feel we can't judge until we know the full story all situations are different.
For example, I technically live with my mother. Many people would ask when am I ready to grow my wings and fly. However the truth of the matter is that I do live on my own and have my apartment. I have had my own apartment since 27 years old and before that I was renting a room in her house. My situation is a bit different because the truth is that I've been taking care of myself since I was 17 years old. Overall I don't really think it is any of our place to see if the person is too old.
Sincerely, :heart:
fillfran82
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What do you think? How old is too old to be living with your parents? I have recently watched several TV shows as well as having some acquaintances where children ranging from 25 to as much as 36 are living at home. I don't mean for 6 months while they get on their feet after a life circumstance. I think the least time is 2 years. Do you think some parents enable their children and want them to be dependent?
It is really none of anyone's business. I wouldn't say the parent's want their kids to be dependent on them forever. Some people do baby their kids though. And some kids are just lazy. Some parents have a big enough house and life is tough out there and the kids work and they live at home because it is really hard to make it on your own. Why struggle and starve if you can live with your parents and share expenses. Even if the parent pays the way for the kid it is nothing to any one else if the parent is doing what they want to do.
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I think it depends on the situation. If the adult child is working and helping to pay for bills, has their own private pace and is a single person, I think it is ok. If the child is lazy, does not help around the house, does not work or going to school to better themselves, they need to get out by 21. They are just taking up space and they need to do it at their own place.
What business is it of yours? If it is your kid then kick them out. But if they do not have a job they are not going to be able to afford a place of their own. If YOU are not footing the bill then it is nothing to you. MY children could live with me as long as they needed to or wanted to. And if they never had a job and I worked 3 jobs to pay for every thing they wanted then that is MY business and NO ONE else's.
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I'm in my late 20's and still at home, I intend to be until I get married, it's just how it works in my family. I work and could afford an apartment, but why, just to sit alone and think about how independent I am? I'd rather be with my loved ones. It's often a cultural thing and I just think it's nice, I don't get why it's seen as weird to still want to be with your family once you hit some arbitrary age. So long as it's mutually wanted and no one is getting taken advantage of, why get all up in arms?
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What do you think? How old is too old to be living with your parents? I have recently watched several TV shows as well as having some acquaintances where children ranging from 25 to as much as 36 are living at home. I don't mean for 6 months while they get on their feet after a life circumstance. I think the least time is 2 years. Do you think some parents enable their children and want them to be dependent?
Hello! :D :)
That is a great question. However I don't think it is a matter of age whether it is a matter of maturity and readiness. For instance there are children that will never be ready to grow up and take care of themselves they will always depend on their parents for everything. Furthermore I feel we can't judge until we know the full story all situations are different.
For example, I technically live with my mother. Many people would ask when am I ready to grow my wings and fly. However the truth of the matter is that I do live on my own and have my apartment. I have had my own apartment since 27 years old and before that I was renting a room in her house. My situation is a bit different because the truth is that I've been taking care of myself since I was 17 years old. Overall I don't really think it is any of our place to see if the person is too old.
Sincerely, :heart:
fillfran82
The problem with never growing up and always depending on parents is who is going to take are of them when their parents die? They do not need to be a leech off the government. Adult children still living at home if fine but at a certain age they need to get a job and learn to be self sufficient. Meaning if their parents die they can take care of themselves.
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I'm in my late 20's and still at home, I intend to be until I get married, it's just how it works in my family. I work and could afford an apartment, but why, just to sit alone and think about how independent I am? I'd rather be with my loved ones. It's often a cultural thing and I just think it's nice, I don't get why it's seen as weird to still want to be with your family once you hit some arbitrary age. So long as it's mutually wanted and no one is getting taken advantage of, why get all up in arms?
Because that is what people do. When I got my first apartment I remember a great-aunt making a smart remark asking how old I was and smarting off saying well it's time. It was none of her business. Would be none of her business if I still lived at home. I was working and even if I wasn't it was none of her business. If it is YOUR kid then at 30 you can say hey you need to move out or pay rent or do something besides sit here and play video games. If it is someone else's kid then it is none of your business to say what they need to do.
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Humans are like birds: "When they are baby chicks, they live with their parents in the nest. Once they reach maturity, they leave the nest...they fly away trying to make it on their own".
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I guess sometimes people have hardships and help from family can't be prevented. Many people lose jobs or the cost of living is more than they can pay. It can make it easier if more people are paying the bills.
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I guess sometimes people have hardships and help from family can't be prevented. Many people lose jobs or the cost of living is more than they can pay. It can make it easier if more people are paying the bills.
If a close family member needed a place to stay I would not tell them to sleep on the street. It amazes me when you see homeless people who have family. That doesn't make sense to me. And of course if you have 3-5 people helping pay rent/mortgage or electric bill and food it will be easier than if one person alone is trying to pay it.
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Usually people who live at home out of college are regarded as jokes. I think it's fine as long as the child is actively looking on how they can move out in the future.
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A lot of young adults have been co-opted by the part of society that thinks we are entitled to be taken care of at others expense, either by the government (tax-papers pay for it), or parent's pay for it.
It is so sad to see how many don't feel motivated to take care of themselves....that is a lot of what made this country great years ago.
:rose:
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A lot of young adults have been co-opted by the part of society that thinks we are entitled to be taken care of at others expense, either by the government (tax-papers pay for it), or parent's pay for it.
It is so sad to see how many don't feel motivated to take care of themselves....that is a lot of what made this country great years ago.
:rose:
Children can be very motivated but still unable to successfully make enough to live on their own. There are also many times that parents need help, such is our case, and having our adult son live with us is a blessing. And as someone else said, sometimes it's a cultural matter. I don't think we should judge anyone or paint everyone or most with such a broad brush.