FC Community
Discussion Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: brian8713 on December 04, 2017, 11:09:42 am
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I want your thoughts on where my life is heading. Feel free to be brutally honest if necessary. I'm a pretty honest and moraled guy.
As of yesterday, I am now dating 2 guys, neither of which knows about the other one. My 1st boyfriend has been with other guys since we started dating. I said it's fine with me, and it is. Sometimes, you just want sex with someone else. But, I'm not going to sit around at home pining away for him while he's out getting it on with other guys. So yesterday, I went on a 1st date with a very nice gentleman. We talked considerably and are both interested in pursuing something more than just sex with the other person.
So now I have 2 boyfriends.
I've never been in this position before. I didn't agree with open relationships (for myself) until my marriage ended. It can be hard to commit yourself to just one person. At least for me. I'll admit that. My question is, should I tell them both about the other guy as soon as possible? I'm not looking for them to fight over me. I'm just honestly having a good time with both of them, and would be up for an exclusive relationship with either of them if they really want one. Should I tell them both about the other one? I've literally had 1 date with boyfriend #2 and (to disclose everything) I haven't had sex with either of them yet. Three dates with Boyfriend #1.
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Please don’t get mad at me, but you are rushing this way too fast. No, don’t tell either one about the other. You are just casual dating now with both, there is no reason they need to know about the other. Before I married I dated more then one guy at a time. How do you know either of them don’t have other boyfriends? Take your time, have fun, date them both and if you find another person you want to date - go for it! Enjoy your life you only go around once. When you and your boyfriend (whoever it is) becomes serious then you stop seeing other men, but until you meet Mr Right have other dates. Good luck and I hope you find your sole mate you seem like a really nice guy.
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I'm not mad at you. I wanted brutal honesty!!! Lol. You're right. I really don't know that they both don't have other boyfriends, so I'm gonna take my time and get to know both of them like you said. :)
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I think this is ok because before I was married, I actually dated 2 or 3 women at a time. I always told the women I was dating, If someone tells you they seen me with another woman, its most likely true. I actually met my wife while dating someone else. I told her the same thing. She lived in the same town I lived in. 3 months later we were married. 27 years later we are still happy :)
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Brian, I hope you find someone you love and who loves you back. Please keep us updated and I’ll keep you in my prayers. Best of luck.
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I agree with Nancy5. Just take your time... no need to tell one about the other yet.
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What are you trying to prove? That is awful. Is this a payback for the first boyfriend and his catting around. What happens if you end up losing both of them. You are playing one against the other and it's not fair if you don't tell the second gentleman what you are doing, you might just lose him or both.
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You should be open and discuss what you want. You don't need to tell them that you're seeing a particular other person. But you do need to have a talk with both of them about if they want to be in a closed or open relationship. That way everyone is on the same page. If you like the other guy better, you can discuss the fact that it's a new relationship and at this stage you're not ready to commit but if things go well in the future, it's something you can see yourself doing.
I'm currently single and I'm in the 'talking stage' with two guys. They both have been told over and over again that I am going to go out with whoever I want, whenever I want. One guy doesn't like it but deals, the other pouts and throws temper tantrums. They've both been given the option to 'just be friends'. I know that open relationships aren't for anyone, but at this time in my life, it's what I want.
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more stds in a shorter time :present:
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I don't believe in dating more than 1 person. I believe you will never find your right person if you cheating on the other, because that's what your doing is cheating on the other person. Many don't get away with it. Don't you feel bad about what your doing? or tired of lying? be careful it just might go bad on you.
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If you just went on one date with one and three with the other then you probably aren't serious enough to consider it dating two people. You can go on a date with one person, not like them, and date somebody else the next week. If you want to be in a more serious relationship with one of them then they need to know you are still dating other people though.
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Both sexes do it. Why? Friends come and go. Some of them do not want serious relationships.
If they do not like you, they will leave you.
Once you find the one you really like: Become monogamous.
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I'm certainly old fashioned - but I'm still going to put my input in none the less. I believe dating is just that. Dating people... not dating person. When you're dating you're not committed to only one. I think there is a clear difference between dating and "just having sex". One is simple and the other is destructive. Emotional, physical and spiritual health is easier to destroy once sex is introduced into any relationship. Use caution - be safe - have fun but be smart while doing it!
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sounds like trouble to me
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I second that.
Brian, I hope you find someone you love and who loves you back. Please keep us updated and I’ll keep you in my prayers. Best of luck.
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Don't sound too good to me, but do as you please.
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One or two dates doesn't mean your in a relationship so I wouldn't think it would be a problem.
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Just don't mislead anyone and all should be fine.
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are you hoping for a 3 some? ;)
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Brian: I think it was not that long ago since your marriage ended. You sound fairly young. It is time to explore and see what you want and what you DON'T want! Several dates are not enough to make a relationship. Once you have spent real time together, quality time, where you have fun and discuss, discuss, discuss to see if you both are on the same page, then you will know if it's time to take the next step. Usually, at some point, there is a discussion of being exclusive unless someone states up front that they only date one person at a time. Three things: 1. Take your time, 2. Make sure you raise and discuss the issues that are important to you in your personal life alone and in a relationship that you share, 3. And if there is any sex involved, take it slow and easy and use protection against disease. Make sure you don't feel badly about yourself and the way it happened and don't put yourself or anybody else at risk. Respect yourself in all your dealings with others. You will be glad in the end!
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Dating is many is to expensive. Date one
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Sorry to hear that you are going thru that and i personally dont approve of it/ dating 2 , 3, 4 etc . Good luck with everything!!
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I don't believe in dating More than one person. I rather have one person in my live than worry about getting an STD
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I don't believe in dating more then one person because you never know what kind of stds are out there so stick with one person for you health sake
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I think you need to slow down.Take your time to know a person,don't go out with 2 people in the same time.Be honest and open with them.If you keep playing this game you are going to lose.Big time.
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I think it is okay as long as all parties involved know that at this point it is casual dating and no heavy feelings are involved at this time.
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I want your thoughts on where my life is heading. Feel free to be brutally honest if necessary. I'm a pretty honest and moraled guy.
As of yesterday, I am now dating 2 guys, neither of which knows about the other one. My 1st boyfriend has been with other guys since we started dating. I said it's fine with me, and it is. Sometimes, you just want sex with someone else. But, I'm not going to sit around at home pining away for him while he's out getting it on with other guys. So yesterday, I went on a 1st date with a very nice gentleman. We talked considerably and are both interested in pursuing something more than just sex with the other person.
So now I have 2 boyfriends.
I've never been in this position before. I didn't agree with open relationships (for myself) until my marriage ended. It can be hard to commit yourself to just one person. At least for me. I'll admit that. My question is, should I tell them both about the other guy as soon as possible? I'm not looking for them to fight over me. I'm just honestly having a good time with both of them, and would be up for an exclusive relationship with either of them if they really want one. Should I tell them both about the other one? I've literally had 1 date with boyfriend #2 and (to disclose everything) I haven't had sex with either of them yet. Three dates with Boyfriend #1.
You say be honest. Be brutally honest. But I don't think you really want that. If people are brutally honest and give their honest opinion I can see you crying you are being bullied.
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I only date one person at a time.
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so hmm... I think we are only human and that can happen... ;)
BUT.. while with your 1st boyfriend you clearly have an open relationship... as he goes out with other people anyway...
this new person you just met, boyfriend n.2, might want something more serious.. and therefore not going out with other people...
I think you should be honest with n.2, ask him if he wants an open relationship or if he would like to see you and only you and try to work it out..
so if you DO like n.2, just find out and try to respect the other person. If n.2 does not want an open relationship, maybe you should think of leaving n.1 IF this is what you want.
just make sure you are fair to yourself and to the person you are dating! good luck :in-love: 8)
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Dating- that is fine.
Boyfriend/girlfriend- that is an issue.
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It's probably way too much work! It's much better to give one person 100% of your time and effort than to give 2 people 50% each. It's not fair to you and to them. If they don't capture your interest, then move on.
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I think you should give yourself more time to decide which one you would prefer to be with. Letting them know about the other you might end up losing one or both!
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Just my opinion .. but I would make it clear to both that you are at the point where you are just dating. I don't think you necessarily need to tell them who the other person is.
My best advice is to be honest to a point .. this can be a slippery slope that you are on.